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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 14)

 
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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
pjl
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By a being that they call old Nick


Last night I saw the Argies beat the Dutch

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Stetson
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Though their goaltender walked with a crutch.
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L'organist
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It was pretty boring stuff

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Raptor Eye
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Everyone had had enough

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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We really couldn't care much.

A German, who lived in Brazil,

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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went bathing one day in a rill

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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bib
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It's better than soccer

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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"

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Piglet
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when sent to the locker-

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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when warm it's quite simply brill!

When cavorting one day with some nuns

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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I noticed their shapely young buns.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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L'organist
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Preferring the Sapphic

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
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a sight pornographic

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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That involved some novices with guns!

When doing my laundry today

[ 12. July 2014, 14:29: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
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I showered myself with soapy spray,

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Stetson
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Then lewdly I wrestled
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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With succubi nestled

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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In folds of my best lingerie.

A devilish rascal named Lou

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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Had two different girlfriends named Sue.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

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Raptor Eye
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But he wasn't sure which

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Albertus
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# 13356

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Had transmitted the itch

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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
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So who had caught what from who.

There was a young gentleman from Froome

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Piglet
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who was really a prophet of doom

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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He predicted one day

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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we'd all turn out gay

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Stetson
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# 9597

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from early exposure to Zoom.

A bride getting quite sloshed at her wedding

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Stetson
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(^sorry, editing error, wrecked the scan)

A bride getting sloshed at her wedding

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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had no idea where she was heading

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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She traversed the dance floor

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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trampling both rich and poor

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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Skidded, and landed head first in the bedding.

There was a jumping flea from Belize

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who landed on doggies with ease.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Piglet
Islander
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He proceeded to bite 'em

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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'Til they wished God would smite him

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and all the while spreading disease.

The Bishop whilst pouring out tea

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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pjl
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# 16929

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Felt her hand upon his knee
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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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he said, with aplomb

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Stetson
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"Ma'am, I cannot keep calm..."
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Albertus
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# 13356

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...after Vespers tonight, are you free?"

While singing the Howells Te Deum

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I picked up some bongos to play 'em.

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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The rest of the choir

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plug plug

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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was really on fire...

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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and the upshot was absolute mayhem.

There once was a poet who tried

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Pondering.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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to take a Dead Horse for a ride

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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With archbishop Sally

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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with whom she was pally

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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And Cardinal O'Malley

[x-post with WW!]

[ 15. July 2014, 14:31: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Only one thing to do: tan her hide!

There was an old goat named O'Reilly

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Nenya
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# 16427

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Who was hairy, capricious and wily.

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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.

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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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He ate handbags and shoes

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Pondering.

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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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we crossposted, but Oscar's is more original-go with that!

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Pondering.

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