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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Dealing with Chronic Anxiety
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
I'd like to hear from other Shipmates who are or have been dealing with long-term anxiety issues.
In my case I get spells of it that often last for months. I've gotten chest pains, stomach aches and plenty of the good ol' Heebie-Jeebies. My doctor has prescribed drugs, which help, but I'd like to be able to rely upon these as little as possible.
What has helped you deal with your anxiety? Please post, or reply via PM. Thanks.
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
That's me. I'll try to get on a real keyboard in the morning. Interested to see what I can learn!
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Me too. Hope 2014 is a less-anxious year for all.
I found seeing a psychologist and talking, as well as learning various techniques helped: some work for me [I found ACT the most helpful but your mileage will vary...], some don't, and in the midst of extreme anxiety I curl up and let it pass as no amount of technique application helps me. Distraction [TV, reading, walking...mindfulness] does wonders for minor anxiety for me.
I'm also on various medications.
I'm probably at a point where it is controlling me more than I it currently, so I will say no more for now -- but look forward to seeing what helps others.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
yep, that's me. most of my adult life but worst in the last few years.
I get freaky about certain stuff. answering phones and opening email, honestly. and big groups I'm not well acquainted with. the biggest problem for me is when it gets ahold of me, and I don't manage to diffuse it, it turns into a crazy uncontrollable rage. like I'm the incredible hulk. I've managed to terrify people who won't talk to me any more. it sucks.
meds do nothing. Kava helps a little. as does booze, but I try not to use that much. mostly mad-crazy bursts of exercise and daily yoga and meditation. I'd be lost without it.
I also almost never answer my phone.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Answering my phone isn't TOO big a problem but making calls, even to people I know well, can be a real challenge; I can put it off for days!
Groups of strangers likewise and yet I used to be a staff trainer but I think that having a defined role there made a big difference.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Almost twenty years with an anxiety diagnosis here (that is just how long I have been medicated). A full scale attack has me shaking and shivering but more frequently I get migraines. I also have heaved, collapsed and had repetitive coughing. I also have a chronic individuals.
I am self managing and the GP is just my back stop.
I would not cope without medicine and mine includes painkillers to deal with painful symptoms. However the full regime that keeps it within manageable involves far more than that.
- exercise although I am low on this at present
- physical stretches to unknot anxiety knotted muscles
- careful monitoring of coffee intake
- Meditation done regularly
- When I remember watching sugar intake
- relaxation breathing techniques. Yes on top of medication (this is far more a response than the meditation which is regular)
- timeout - that is having somewhere I can go and just be for an hour or so. Bed is good.
- Counselling, having a confidential space to talk about life on a regular basis.
- massages help with muscle problems
- certain supplements have helped. Magnesium for migraines actually helped clear my brain.
- Pacing (the really difficult one, its about not taking on too much)
- imaginative visualisation of a very particular form.*
There is no magic bullet, between the lot I get by and achieve a huge amount but I am always aware of what I can not do.
Jengie
*this uses worry patterns of thought directed at an imagined scene. So if I am trying to visualise a house in the wood, I will want to know the following. How far from a stream and what sort of stream, Is there a pond nearby. What happens if it floods. Does the house get its water from there, is there a well or is it on the mains. I have not even got to what the house is made of yet.
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
- timeout - that is having somewhere I can go and just be for an hour or so. Bed is good.
... - imaginative visualisation of a very particular form.*
These help me too.
While I am sorry others are going through it, thank you for sharing about the phone/e-mail fears; I thought I was some sort of freak [may still be! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ] as my phone is permanently diverted to voicemail and I can leave e-mails for months. I even missed a friend's wedding -- not sure I could've gone, but I'm sure he'd've appreciated a reply -- because I was too scared to open an e-mail from him for months, and haven't written back since because I now feel like a loser.
I do not feel so alone now; thanks.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I'm an instant catastrophiser. Much more for the people I care about than for myself. They live in extreme danger the entire time - every plane they take will crash, every time they don't answer their phone they're lying unconscious in a gutter, every twinge they get is the symptom of a deadly disease.
I am actually quite calm and coping when anything does happen - it's suspense, uncertainty not knowing that get to me.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I'm an instant catastrophiser. Much more for the people I care about than for myself. They live in extreme danger the entire time - every plane they take will crash, every time they don't answer their phone they're lying unconscious in a gutter, every twinge they get is the symptom of a deadly disease.
I am actually quite calm and coping when anything does happen - it's suspense, uncertainty not knowing that get to me.
Yes, years ago I was planning what to wear to the funeral when person concerned walked in door.
I find deep breathing helpful but can only do this alone. Lots of time out to regroup and also meditation.
Yes, Firenze, no one would know about this stuff if they observed calmness and capability in a real crisis.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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iamchristianhearmeroar
Shipmate
# 15483
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Posted
This isn't me, but it is a close family member. Interesting Jengie Jon that you mentioned coffee intake - this person drinks a lot of coffee and would always go for coffee over, say, tea, juice or water.
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My blog: http://alastairnewman.wordpress.com/
Posts: 642 | From: London, UK | Registered: Feb 2010
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Heightened adrenaline level in the blood is part of anxiety but caffeine also raises adrenaline.
Now one thing needs to be said, bodies have different settings for adrenaline and people who normally have high levels of adrenaline actually miss it when it is lowered. It makes them feel sleepy, drugged and have difficulty focussing. The adrenaline rush is part of the reason for the expression "bomb happy". Someone whose adrenaline level is lower than their bodies "happy" level can actually gain pleasure from being in danger and come back on a high.
This is why I monitor coffee intake (some would say avoid it altogether) but for me it allows me to fine tune my medication. However if I spot a slow , but substantial and continuing rise in intake it nearly always time to drop the coffee and drop my medication level. A sudden single day means it is time to find a quiet space, take painkillers and actually sleep off the migraine.
Check also that there is not a secondary reason, when out I will normally drink coffee. I do not tolerate milk very well so tend to avoid it. I can buy reasonable black coffee to drink, but black tea is normally stewed. So when out I tend to drink coffee.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I’ve tried a lot of things over the years – vitamin supplements, valerian tea, aromatherapy, exercise etc etc. None made any lasting impact and I got used to them very quickly and found they no longer worked. Mindfulness and tracing back the anxiety to its source seem to be the only things that have made any real difference. However, on the occasions where sheer fright kicks in – mercifully much rarer than it used to be – there is nothing to be done except breathe deeply and let it go. The episodes don’t last anywhere near long as they used to – minutes instead of days – but can be complicated by tiredness, caffeine and hormonal upheavals. Caffeine is a real trigger for anxiety (and sleeplessness), and I find even decaff and dark chocolate are enough to get it going unless quantities are quite small. Sugar brings on mood swings so is something else to be careful of.
Overall, I’d say I’ve made progress and life is easier than it used to be. A few years ago, faced with any potentially stressful event, I’d have cut out eating, lost sleep, felt sick with nerves and not been able to focus on anything else. I still worry about some things, but thse days at a less intense level than before. Perhaps for me that’s one of the benefits of menopause, as much as mindfulness, I don’t know, but either way it's a relief to have a let-up.
[ 17. January 2014, 11:36: Message edited by: Ariel ]
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
Medication. I've been on SSRIs for the last 6 years, and when I last tried coming off them my anxiety levels got crazy about the smallest things. I don't think I can really manage life without meds - it's hard enough when I'm on them.
But I give thanks that I've found meds that work for me and that they allow me to live a fairly normal life.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Comet said:
quote:
the biggest problem for me is when it gets ahold of me, and I don't manage to diffuse it, it turns into a crazy uncontrollable rage. like I'm the incredible hulk. I've managed to terrify people who won't talk to me any more. it sucks.
I thought I had an anger problem, but low level anxiety is always around and generally precedes rage for me, too. I don't drink anymore at home; though it usually turns off anxiety and diffuses rage, on the odd occasion it just turns off inhibition. Kitchen cupboards take too long to rebuild on even an irregular basis.
I also get email fear - it helps now I'm not working and the volume of the f*ckers is back to something manageable.
I wonder if having once broke under massive stress, body gets leery of even a bit of pressure and starts going 'oh-er' at simple things others find easy. Seems that way to me.
Bad news for me is, keeping head together involves time-consuming meditation, prayer, physical exercise, and in the end the resignation of my career / loss of income. Good news is, kids are not frightened of me, and notice the difference. Still feel like an egotist for pouring all this effort into me, but unless I crack it, I'm too erratic to be much use to anyone else.
Whacky idea of the day - a book called 'the artist's way'. Currently helping to turn down anxiety by treating life as an art project - that is, fun! Just imagine!. And daily meditations at sacredspace.ie are a bit like the running - usually grunt work, but containing hopeful signs of a cumulative impact.
Peace to all
Mark
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Mindfulness before it was called that, comes to me from by difficult and violent times in my childhood. I learned to go outside and then to camp and then to canoe and ski. If I'm physically exerting and brought into the moment with effort, and also having to pay attention to the natural surroundings, I'm sleeping better, stopping the thoughts, and the anxiety-anger goes away, well mostly, and longer and longer, until I mess up. Best is if I'm away for a week. Having to light a fire to make tea. Looking at the sky wondering about the weather. Feeling the cold or warmth directly. No electric gadgets. It's hard to worry about anything except the immediate world when you're skiiing or canoeing. I have a $2500 sailboat which is also good for this. When the gust comes and the boat heels and might go over, I'm not thinking about anything except sailing.
I learned also that dogs (and cats to a lesser degree) are helpful. You have to go out with a dog, and you have to attend to the dog. And the dog doesn't get the worries, anxiety and anger about things gone past. For me the anxiety will come forth as anger, because it helps me feel more in control. Catching it early and intervening right then as it starts is better for me.
Weird as it may be, I also have a weekend ritual of making bread. I start on Friday and finish on Sunday, every week for about 25 years, using a slow method, they label artisan these days. I do it fireside or on a barbeque also, in a dutch oven. This is incredibly comforting to me.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
<pulls up chair, despite feeling very very anxious that it'll make a tiny scraping sound and everyone will be upset that she's joining them.>
I have chronic, low-level anxiety, mostly social. Learning to recognize it over time has been helpful--I'm working on just checking in with my thoughts and my body, and when I realize that I am feeling more anxious than, objectively speaking, a given situation warrants, I try to remind myself, gently, "I'm anxious right now. More, really, than I need to be. That's something I do. It'll dissipate in time." Honestly, I've found no real way to turn off some of the more problematic symptoms--dry-heaving every morning when I'm under stress, for example. They're there, and they go away, and I can keep them from getting truly impossible but I can't will myself to not, say, do the dry- heaving.
Reading Scott Stossel's first-person account, and the reader response piece This is Anxiety was tremendously helpful to me in realizing that many, many people share my struggles, and some carry much bigger crosses than I do with this. Being real about my challenges with others who also have them has been beneficial as well--only with a small number of people who have earned my trust, though.
It's helpful for me also to read what Shipmates are saying in this thread--thanks for it.
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
A lot of my current anxiety is exacerbated by family issues- especially the care of my elderly father. Although we do what we can for him (which isn't always easy, since he's very negative and drinks heavily), some of us are beset by guilt for "not doing more."
My shrink gives me Klonopin, which I take only when needed, and Buspar, the effectiveness of which I'm only beginning to feel.
I'm trying a shotgun approach. Tonight I got a deep tissue massage. Downloaded some meditation music (Tibetan stuff) for my iPod. Sunday night I'm checking out a meditation class, since I'm lousy at doing that on my own.
Cognac helps, but with the history of alcoholism in my family I have to be careful.
What types of prayer do you folks find helpful?
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Answering my phone isn't TOO big a problem but making calls, even to people I know well, can be a real challenge; I can put it off for days!
Groups of strangers likewise and yet I used to be a staff trainer but I think that having a defined role there made a big difference.
The role part is huge. I can bartend is a crazy crowded loud bar, no problem. But I can't be a patron in one.
I'm terrified stringing sentences on the phone, but I can bare my soul on stage in front of hundreds of people.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Wow, there are others!
The noise thing-- if I am in a room full of boisterous kids, I am totally zen, but random noises I can't identify send me into a panic, even if they are soft. (Especially in the family home-- there were too many reasons I had to actively listen for safety cues in the family home, I'm so hyper vigilant when at home it hurts.)
And I am actually more comfortable with speaking in front of a crowd than in a group-- it think that has to do with being relieved that I am in a space where there is less likelihood that I will be overtalked or interrupted.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
... Weird as it may be, I also have a weekend ritual of making bread ...
That doesn't sound the least bit weird to me; just the smell of baking bread is conducive to a feeling of well-being, and that combined with the feeling of achievement that you've done it yourself* can only be a Good Thing. Not being a sufferer of chronic anxiety in the sense that most of the posters here are, I can't vouch for its actual anxiety-busting attributes, but I'd certainly say it was therapeutic.
* I get that feeling even though I cheat by using a bread-making machine.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
The most consistant get out of Hell technique I can think of for myself is singing a cherished song. Even if only in my own head. Anything, it just has to be something I really like.
Sometimes when I am flipping out about something a song will spontaneously "play" in my head-- only fairly recently has it occured to me that the random song generation is a form of self-soothing, and I should jump on what my subconscious is offering. Couple days a bout of Job search worrying was interrupted by the theme from "Welcome Back, Kotter."
My return to school made me discover something exciting-- when I do math problems, whatever anxiety I am experiencing and the noise sensitivity are considerably reduced. Even after I stop working the problems.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
I was born anxious. As a child I had what is now called 'selective mutism'. It used to be called 'elective mutism', meaning it was a chosen state. It is now recognised as a severe social anxiety problem typically manifesting in social situations outside the immediate family. These days a child with this problem would receive professional help. When I was a child there was no help and I was treated with mockery and criticism. Like most such children I grew out of it, to a degree, in that I learned to speak and to cope with life as a somewhat withdrawn and 'shy' person. I learned to read very early and found relief from anxiety in books.
In adult life I've done a lot of public speaking, as a teacher and as a lay preacher. I now have no anxiety at all about speaking in public - so long as I feel well prepared for what I say. Being well prepared usually involves prior reading, thinking and often discussion.
These days I still find relief from anxiety in books and also in cryptic crosswords and other word puzzles.
[ 18. January 2014, 07:16: Message edited by: justlooking ]
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I used to work with a kid who-- well she wasn't shy at all, she just didn't like to talk. She would bound up to me in the morning and grin at me. Her mom would scold,"Say hello, for goodness sake!" and I would say,"She did, she 'looked' hello." Not sure if some form of anxiety was at work here, but I didn't understand why the other adults had such a problem with her preference to be quiet.
I worked with another little girl who pretty much refused to talk to adults-- unless necessity absolutely dictated it-- but would chatter away with other kids.
Back to anxiety-- I have struggled with dissociation a lot. Particularly when I am faced with angry shouting, or when I'm in a situation that provokes shame. People frequently complain that I shut down, and presume it is some form of punishment or sulking; I have tried to explain-- not with a lot of success-- that it is a physical shut down--I don't stop speaking because I don't want to speak, I stop speaking because I can't. Everything just goes numb.
Sadly, the tendency of the shouting type (at least, in my sphere of experience) is to try to combat dissociation by shouting louder, to snap the person out of it. It only drives me deeper in my shell.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
I feel a fraud posting here, since I don't qualify as 'chronically anxious' at all. The problem I have is that I don't sleep well, and when I wake in the night I have great difficulty getting back to sleep. Prayer doesn't seem to help, because I simply dredge out all my worries to pray about!
What does help is my iPod - not music but audio books. The voice in my ear seems to cut into my anxiety circuits and lull me back to sleep, but it has to be reading me something I already know well so I don't struggle to stay awake to find out what happens next. Early Terry Pratchett is ideal, nothing even slightly distressing.
If I go to sleep, that's good. If not, I at least have something pleasant to listen to instead of worrying. YMMV of course, but it might be worth a try...
The Insomniac Mrs. S
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Paul.
Shipmate
# 37
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Posted
I've just finished a course of CBT for depression and anxiety. It has really helped with the former. The anxiety has lessened but that's partly due to not having had to do any of the things that make me really anxious lately.
Exercise helps. I plan to try meditation also.
It's odd to read this thread and see so many names of people who I think of as "together" and much much more confident than myself. I guess that's the way it works sometimes.
Posts: 3689 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
After I returned to work after my penultimate, and fairly minor, crack up a long time colleague said to me "I've always thought of you as one of the most together people I know." We'd worked closely together several times over the past quarter century.
It's like the swan looks so serene there on the river but underneath s/he is paddling like heck to stop getting washed over the falls!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Meg the Red
Shipmate
# 11838
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
It's odd to read this thread and see so many names of people who I think of as "together" and much much more confident than myself. I guess that's the way it works sometimes.
It is odd, but very comforting somehow. Not that I'd wish anxiety on anyone, but given that it's so isolating it really helps to know one isn't alone.
Working in a children's mental health agency was very illuminating; had I been assessed by current standards when I was a child, I think I'd have been diagnosed with a fairly severe anxiety disorder. I developed migraines at the age of three, which persisted for the next twenty years. I think they were caused by stress, but were also and a way of dealing with it, as they only disappeared when I slept for at least 12 hours in complete quiet and darkness.
I hate phones with a passion, which is ironic as my work involves so much phone time - as several of you have previously observed, roles make all the difference. I know I've lost friends because I'd rather chew broken glass than pick up the phone to chat. Email and texting have been a huge boon for me, though they're not completely stress-free.
Outdoor exercise helps, big time; I didn't know how much of an impact it had until this winter, when a hip injury has prevented me from getting outside to ski and snowshoe. Seriously, 10 minutes in the park tromping through the trees and making snow angels keeps me calmer for days. I miss it so much ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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Chocoholic Canuckistani Cyclopath
Posts: 1126 | From: Rat Creek | Registered: Sep 2006
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
I think like justlooking I was born anxious too "What the heck's going to happen to me now?" and have had some counselling, read some self help books and am just learning about meditation and its benefits so thanks to Mark for his comments on that. Every day is fraught with potential disaster, every illness potentially fatal, every journey has a potential accident. Given what I live with every day I think it's quite an achievement that I have a relatively normal, if unadventurous, life.
I appreciate everyone's honesty here and it's good to feel I'm not alone. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel:
What types of prayer do you folks find helpful?
Certain psalms come back to me and I find reading them gives expression to my anxiety, even though it may not calm me down completely; giving voice to the thoughts and echoing the words that have been prayed/sung/spoken over the years does bring some comfort and peace though.
Psalms 3, 88 [87 Orthodox numbering] and 143 [142] are constant in my mind; they are 3 of the 6 Psalms assigned for the morning and are helpful for me. Perhaps they may be a bit depression-eriented also, but in times of anxiety I use them.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I've just read Poe's Heart and the Mountain Climber by Richard Restak, all about anxiety, and tons of what you are saying is in there. I'm learning, I'm learning!
Thank God because I'm fairly sure all three of us in my family are anxiety disordered. (feel like crap for having passed that along to my son, poor kid. They say it's the amygdala or something?)
Mine started with depression at age three, but anxiety has been there for as long as I can remember, and is probably the bigger component most of the time. I always put it down to living with an alcoholic parent, though. But it's still there, and now it's complicated by having PTSD on top of it (feh) and some ongoing sucky situations in my daily life that keep me on the edge. Two years ago I panicked myself into a near blackout and ER visit. It turned out to be only a panic attack, though the staff was tactful and called it "dehydration" instead. ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
Just today we took a huge step--well, Mr Lamb took a huge step, I chivvied him into it because I was too terrified to do it myself. We (he) called an old friend we haven't talked to in over a year. I hate hate HATE doing that because I'm absolutely certain I'll call up only to be told the person has died, AND that I'm a shithead for not having kept in touch and known about it. I told Mr. Lamb this and he looked at me strangely. But then, he's the one about to break down from having LL off to weekend Scout camp on his own for the first time.
LL tics when he's anxious, which is really rotten when you're in middle school and it's all about fitting in. And he's anxious all the time, and needs constant reassurance. We've started calling it the "yappy chihuahua" because it scares the crap out of you, but it isn't really dangerous.
Several years ago we were at a picnic in somebody's backyard. It was one of those long backyards bordered with chainlink fencing on either side, and that almost completely covered with ivy. We had brought Mouse the chihuahua with us, and he was tethered to an apple tree.
What we didn't realize was that there were two BIG DOGS on either side of us, in their own backyards. Soon there was a perfect barkfest going on, and we could barely hear ourselves think. Mouse sounded like he was out for blood.
Then one of the big dogs fell silent. Mouse kept barking. The other dog fell silent. Mouse kept barking, absolutely convinced he had cowed the other two into submission. Hail the victor!
Being taller and able to see over the fences, we realized what had happened--each big dog had finally found a way to nose through the ivy and get a glimpse of Mouse. And they said to themselves, "What? I've been barking at a bloody squirrel!"
It's really hard for me to see through the fence and tell whether what's barking at me is a squirrel or not.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
[
It's odd to read this thread and see so many names of people who I think of as "together" and much much more confident than myself. I guess that's the way it works sometimes.
I had the same reaction
But I feel a lot more comfortable around people who admit they are struggling than people who act like they have all the answers.
ETA: Lamb Chopped, love the dog story!
[ 19. January 2014, 03:39: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
My man had a something of a nervous breakdown last year. He had panic attacks and was very much not himself. It was the first time I got up close and personal to this kind of illness.
The main thing that used to help him was to talk. We talked for hours and hours and hours and omg even more hours.
Some of you have mentioned meditation. May I ask what sort?
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I say the rosary, sometimes. With an actual rosary in my hands. I feel the element of something tangible in my hands bringing me out of my head helps.
I have played around with Lectio Divina, but it really makes me lose track of time.
Someone who lets you talk it out? Indescribable blessing.
[ 19. January 2014, 05:26: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
I am part way through An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth by Chris Hadfield. He says he is scared of heights. What helps him not be anxious is being prepared for things, thinking through the worst possible cases and working out how to deal with them, planning and practising responses. It's part of the way they work at NASA.
There's a whole lot more, but it's turning a lot of the normal advice on its head, and it makes sense. I might suggest we read it as a Ship bookclub book when it comes out in paperback.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Some of you have mentioned meditation. May I ask what sort?
The awareness/mindfulness/contemplative prayer sort. I've read some Thomas Keating and am now partway through Martin Laird's second book on the subject, "A Sunlit Absence" (his first being "Into the Silent Land"). I apologise for not providing links, I have never been successful with that when posting from the tablet device which is all I have to hand at the moment.
I have to admit I'm much better at reading about meditation than I am at actually doing it. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
I have mentioned meditation. It is part of my prayer time and is a slow build. I split it into three different phases, first is controlled breath and also a meditation on the Trinity, second is simply praying the Jesus Prayer as a mantra and the third is watching the breath and my thoughts (longest) and offering what occurs regardless to God. The first is quite a busy meditation; the last a still one but I could not do the last if I had not done the first as I am slowly stepping myself into a quieter state.
I have used mindfulness body scans in the past and they too are useful.
Jengie
[ 19. January 2014, 12:18: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Mindfulness is useful when you're actually stuck in a morass of worry. You can ask yourself: "what am I worried about" and I found it helpful to trace it back from there to what it was really actually about: some kind of loss and fear of not being able to cope can often be at the root of it. Sometimes these may be directly related to specific incidents in the past, which you may have entirely forgotten about.
One thing that mindfulness tries to address is that people can and do suffer from survival patterns that were useful at the time, but which aren't needed now, yet are still active and working. The subconscious doesn't have much sense of time: everything is still here-and-now.
Meditation is also useful. It needs to be done daily for long-term beneficial effects. The morning commute can be a useful space for some people, and if anyone's interested, Pray As You Go has downloadable MP3 files which are a short mixture of prayer, meditation and sacred music which are quite good to listen to on your journey: calming and food for thought. (Devised by people who have links with Sacred Space.)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
My man had a something of a nervous breakdown last year. He had panic attacks and was very much not himself. It was the first time I got up close and personal to this kind of illness.
The main thing that used to help him was to talk. We talked for hours and hours and hours and omg even more hours.
Some of you have mentioned meditation. May I ask what sort?
Mine is based on yoga pranayama and metta meditation. ("metta" meaning loving-kindness) i find that my monkeymind is in way too much control if I don't have breathing exercizes and a focus for my thoughts when I start out. I'll often go through the metta process and then am wound down enough to truly let my thoughts go.
That's where the good things happen.
I usually have a morning meditation (still in bed) that lasts all of 5 minutes, and repeat throughout the day as necessary for sanity. I also aim for a 30-60 minute concentrated effort where I can (usually noonish before I leave for work) and during this time I play Thich Nhat Hanh's "plum village meditations" (90 minutes of gongs. It's awesome) while seated on a zafu and will light a candle for focus if I'm extra stressy. I do 15 minutes of yoga to start this out. Goal is every day; reality so far is 2-3 times a week.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Wow - some serious meditators on here!
I use sacredspace.ie for a daily gospel reading, some ideas and some structure. Maybe I'll look for more than the gospel at some point, but it's good for now.
The whacky artist thing I mentioned suggests starting out with 3 pages of writing down whatever shit is going through your head, as a way of getting rid of it. Writing helps me - it slows me down and stops me getting obsessive or catastrophising, as it might be spelt. Idea is not to read the stuff back - just get it out. I use this to precede bible reading and prayer.
It reminds me of when I used to tutor project students in the lab. Get in there and waste some time measuring shit. Whatever you do you're going to start out wasting time measuring shit, so best get in there soon and get measuring (or, in this case, writing) it.
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I haven't written much for a long time but it used to be one of my main ways of coping then once a week I'd meet up with a friend and we'd have half an hour each to get it all out in a emi-formal co-counselling style way.
What also has helped, despite my hating it at the time, is doing a gratitude list - piece of paper and pen and write down all the things for which I am grateful from the basic of a roof over my head and food in my stomach - it can be quite an eye opener; but I have never really found it easy.
It's probably time I had another go - I have a very important milestoney thing coming up this week so I might be pushed...
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
The whacky artist thing I mentioned suggests starting out with 3 pages of writing down whatever shit is going through your head, as a way of getting rid of it. Writing helps me - it slows me down and stops me getting obsessive or catastrophising, as it might be spelt. Idea is not to read the stuff back - just get it out. I use this to precede bible reading and prayer.
forgot to mention before - I began using The Artists' Way back in 1999 or 2000. found it very helpful. I've bought 4 copies over the years because I keep lending it out and never seeing it again. Just bought a new copy a few months ago and I'm considering going through it again as part of my Lenten practice.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
What also has helped, despite my hating it at the time, is doing a gratitude list - piece of paper and pen and write down all the things for which I am grateful from the basic of a roof over my head and food in my stomach - it can be quite an eye opener; but I have never really found it easy.
The gratitude list was one of the things I picked up from something I was reading somewhere: the idea that every night before you fall asleep you think of five things that you're grateful for. The advice was to do it for three weeks in the first instance. The idea is obvious, it gets you focusing on positive things. (It's also a nicer way to wind down at night than going over something annoying/worrying from earlier in the day.)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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QLib
Bad Example
# 43
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
What also has helped, despite my hating it at the time, is doing a gratitude list - piece of paper and pen and write down all the things for which I am grateful from the basic of a roof over my head and food in my stomach - it can be quite an eye opener; but I have never really found it easy.
The gratitude list was one of the things I picked up from something I was reading somewhere: the idea that every night before you fall asleep you think of five things that you're grateful for. The advice was to do it for three weeks in the first instance. The idea is obvious, it gets you focusing on positive things. (It's also a nicer way to wind down at night than going over something annoying/worrying from earlier in the day.)
Yes,I think this works well with anxiety, and also a sense of generalised grimness - can't do it well when depression has the upper hand though.
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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Goodness, I used to think I suffered from anxiety - but now I've read this thread I've realised that anything I get is extremely minor compared with what many other people have to live with. Perhaps what I've been labelling as 'anxiety' is just really called 'life', and therefore shouldn't cause me too much worry?
And kudos to all those who have to live daily with real extremes of anxiety - you are all doing so marvellously well, considering what you are going through. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) for you all.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Stressing out right now because Mr. Lamb's speech is turning to mush, can't tell whether this is due to increasing deafness (which he refuses to acknowledge) or to (God forbid) incipient Alzheimer's. Catastrophize, moi?
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S:
I feel a fraud posting here, since I don't qualify as 'chronically anxious' at all. The problem I have is that I don't sleep well, and when I wake in the night I have great difficulty getting back to sleep. Prayer doesn't seem to help, because I simply dredge out all my worries to pray about!
What does help is my iPod - not music but audio books. The voice in my ear seems to cut into my anxiety circuits and lull me back to sleep, but it has to be reading me something I already know well so I don't struggle to stay awake to find out what happens next. Early Terry Pratchett is ideal, nothing even slightly distressing.
The Insomniac Mrs. S
I discovered books on discs not long after I was raped. Having some of the best actors in the world reading me a bedtime story was really soothing. Silence, when my ears are straining to hear whether the noises are the cat or a mass murderer are really stressful.
Singing works for me too, especially at night - which is why it is good that I live alone.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Fredegund
Shipmate
# 17952
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Posted
BBC 4 extra has its moments, especially in the wee small hours. Some of it seems to percolate into my dreams, though, which can be seriously confusing.
I find it very comforting that others can struggle with anxiety. Having admired you all from a distance for yours - thank you.
For what it's worth, I live with an uneasy mixture of mindfulness, distraction, medication, and breathing problems when all else fails. Cats are useful, especially when they refuse to move. Being physically stopped from rushing off to attack the problem by a lightweight Burmese is helpful.
Oh, and another one who has problems answering the phone or e-mail. Slight problem, that, when it's work.
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Pax et bonum
Posts: 117 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Jan 2014
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Welcome, Fredegund
quote:
BBC 4 extra has its moments, especially in the wee small hours.
I may have this wrong, but that suggests going to sleep to the strains of 'ooohhh, innee BOLD, Mr 'Orne...'. I'll have to try it - I think that could work for me, too.
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Fredegund
Shipmate
# 17952
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Posted
Just don't try it to the Clitheroe Kid.
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Pax et bonum
Posts: 117 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Jan 2014
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