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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heart-sinking words
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evangeline:
This is sending shivers down my spine. Years ago I had to write an annual report for the most inept, waster of public funds ever and all I could do was pile weasel word upon weasel word-took me years to garner back my self-respect. So much "committed to", "working towards.....outcomes", and "engaging stakeholders" . ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
Console yourself. Presumably by writing the stuff, you were doing exactly what your bosses thought they were paying you to do.
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
On church websites: "We are a vibrant and growing fellowship seeking to serve our awesome God" (or variants thereof: "vibrant" is the most detested weasel word).
Why not just say, "We're a pretty ordinary church, sometimes we surprise ourselves and do things fairly well and sometimes we mess up badly, sometimes our worship is quite good and sometimes it's boring: but God loves us anyway".
I might join that church!
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
Another one that really drives me up the wall - particularly since although you know what they mean, it's execrable theology, 'God shows up', as in 'it was one of those occasions when we rally sang and prayed and God showed up'.
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
A phrse that is widely used in my diocese t the moment is "mission shaped church". WTF is that even supposed to mean?
It's a 2004 book and a report (pdf) from the CofE. There is a series of spin off books.
The whole thing is full of heart-sinking words.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
In relation to news of some governmental foul-up or mismanagement: "Lessons will be learnt" - they never are, so how thick are these people?
In a church context: "relevant".
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Higgs Bosun
Shipmate
# 16582
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Posted
"Letting go" when the person does not want to go.
"It was a business decision" which means that it was immoral and without regard for people.
The current political favorite: "hard working families", which presumably means sending the children up chimneys like they did back in the good old days when the poor were grateful for a dry crust of bread.
Posts: 313 | From: Near the Tidal Thames | Registered: Aug 2011
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
Another dreadful expression used by politicians 'we must have a debate about this'.
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Mili
Shipmate
# 3254
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Posted
I also hate when 'Mum and Dad' is used in place of ordinary, everyday people. Most commonly in 'Mum and Dad' investors, but also now creeping into politics, eg. the 'Mums and Dads of Australia' will approve/disprove a policy. Not all everyday people are Mums and Dads and those of us who are not parents may also be small-time investors or have a stake in government policies that affect the average person.
Posts: 1015 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Just read one in Dead Horses: Love the sinner but hate the sin.
Which reminded me of another one that has been niggling at me through this thread: Telling the truth in love.
And much less harmful, but still wrong, from children "I was just..." or "I was only..." usually followed by "joking" or a similar excuse for being beastly to someone.
[ 19. October 2014, 13:14: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
The most desperate hell-hole of a school these days will be a 'Centre of Excellence' where every child will 'achieve their full potential'.
New service booklets at my church now include an 'alternative' form of creed which is full of heart-sinking expressions including 'helping us to achieve our full potential.' ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
In relation to news of some governmental foul-up or mismanagement: "Lessons will be learnt" - they never are, so how thick are these people?
What is means is that other people will learn some lessons - we, the people in charge, who need to learn them won't. Most of the lessons that these "other" people will learn is that if you are not making these announcements, then you are about to be fired, meaning that there is then nobody left in the organisation who has actually learned anything.
The other lesson learnt is often "don't get caught again".
Actually, the most heart-sinking words are anything said by a politician these days. You just know they are going to be lies, manipulation and deceit, along with helpings of self-justification and demonising of those they don't like.
[ 19. October 2014, 14:02: Message edited by: Schroedinger's cat ]
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
And while we're on the subject I don't trust 'Upbeat' - not since the infamous Reader Upbeat now 'abridged and revised to improve usability' - because the original was useless.
[ 19. October 2014, 14:06: Message edited by: justlooking ]
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Bob Two-Owls
Shipmate
# 9680
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Posted
The thing I dread to hear more than anything is "social media" as it usually appears in the explanation of yet another half-arsed attempt at reaching out to those who have no interest in what we are doing whatsoever. I once earned myself a dirty look from the directors by musing aloud "I wonder how many ex-soviet nuclear power station owners are there on Facebook?".
Posts: 1262 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
In relation to news of some governmental foul-up or mismanagement: "Lessons will be learnt".
Ah, but have they "put their hands up" as well?
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Charles Had a Splurge on
Shipmate
# 14140
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Posted
From our Church Profile (a horrible phrase in itself):
"we are a rainbow of multiethnicity
and social diversity."
Tautologous nonsense.
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"But to live outside the law, you must be honest" R.A. Zimmerman
Posts: 224 | From: What used to be Berkshire | Registered: Sep 2008
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Charles Had a Splurge on:
Tautologous nonsense.
As is this.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
"over use of the gaming product"
-which means the person has a gambling problem.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
"over use of the gaming product"
-which means the person has a gambling problem.
Actually the use of "product" really bugs me, in this context. Because it becomes irrelevant what it is, it is just a "product" that is being sold.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
'check your privilege'
AFAICT the phrase currently means that I am going to wind up telling someone to stop trying to teach their grandmother to suck eggs.
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"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Yangtze:
... I love verbifying nouns and nounifying verbs.
In which case, there's an especially hot corner of the hot place with your name on it. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
There's a company whose vans are frequently found in the car-park at work called "Building Solutions"; D. wanted to know, "how do you build a solution?"
"Well", I suggested, "you start with some GIN ..." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
A phrse that is widely used in my diocese t the moment is "mission shaped church". WTF is that even supposed to mean?
In California it could mean Spanish colonial architecture. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
"Mindful" The people who use it are sure to throw in the words "Folks" and "respectful"
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Extemporaneous prayers that include "Father God", "Lord Jesus", and "just" every five words or so:
"Father God, we just praise your name, and we just ask you, Jesus Lord, to just bless our works to your glory, Lord Jesus. Just lead us in the right path, Father God. Amen."
As Jordan says on Blimey Cow on You Tube, it's as if God will forget his name if you don't say it often enough.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
quote:
Originally posted by Yangtze:
... I love verbifying nouns and nounifying verbs.
In which case, there's an especially hot corner of the hot place with your name on it.
There's a company whose vans are frequently found in the car-park at work called "Building Solutions"; D. wanted to know, "how do you build a solution?"
There's a company round here which offers "Aperture Solutions" - i.e. they install doors and windows.
[ 20. October 2014, 06:46: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
You want there to be supplier of chemicals called 'Solutions Solutions', don't you?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Another one that annoys me is 'Logistics Solutions'. Why can't they just call themselves delivery companies and concentrate on delivering your packages on time?
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
Don't ask me to 'join the conversation'.
I'll happily contribute to the discussion or join the debate. I'd be delighted to have a chat - if only that was what you meant.
'Join the conversation', though, seems to mean saying something - anything - on the subject. Nobody will take the slightest bit of notice of what I say, but I will have become a part of something that will eventually be decided by other people - if, indeed, it ever gets to anything as boring as a decision.
That is fine for a discussion board. It is not even slightly alright for anything important.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Latchkey Kid
Shipmate
# 12444
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Posted
'On a daily basis' is just 'every day'.
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'You must never give way for an answer. An answer is always the stretch of road that's behind you. Only a question can point the way forward.'
Mika; in Hello? Is Anybody There?, Jostein Gaardner
Posts: 2592 | From: The wizardest little town in Oz | Registered: Mar 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Extemporaneous prayers that include "Father God", "Lord Jesus", and "just" every five words or so:
"Father God, we just praise your name, and we just ask you, Jesus Lord, to just bless our works to your glory, Lord Jesus. Just lead us in the right path, Father God. Amen."
As Jordan says on Blimey Cow on You Tube, it's as if God will forget his name if you don't say it often enough.
When people use that technique on other people, it's usually a way of controlling them...(or else trying to make sure that they themselves don't forget it - but it comes across as controlling.)
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Extemporaneous prayers that include "Father God", "Lord Jesus", and "just" every five words or so:
"Father God, we just praise your name, and we just ask you, Jesus Lord, to just bless our works to your glory, Lord Jesus. Just lead us in the right path, Father God. Amen."
As Jordan says on Blimey Cow on You Tube, it's as if God will forget his name if you don't say it often enough.
Keep count of 'Father God' and 'Jesus Lord'. There are a couple of people at my shack who can run up a basketball score.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
"Action" meaning "do" always annoyed me.
In the university I worked in, "employablity" was a buzzword, and was truly a bullshit metric.
I have a whole list of argument-losing phrases that you see on the internet, but they are more suited for a Hell thread.
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Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
At the end of a team meeting:
"Oh, Karl, before you go, can I just have a word?"
At work, any time:
"Teamwork"
"Mandatory Training"
At a church:
Anything beginning with "a time of", especially "worship" or "prayer".
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
"Going forward".
It has a close friend which means the speaker needs beating with the Clue Stick - "In the first instance".
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
'Conference' is a word devoid of hope. It promises much but then shows up with 'flip-chart'. 'S.W.O.T.' and 'feedback' and you are doomed to another time-wasting exercise in phony consultation.
[ 20. October 2014, 10:39: Message edited by: justlooking ]
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
I use lots of these phrases. ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
One I heard recently that nearly made me gasp was 'covenanting' instead of working together in a church context. We are covenanting with another person on this mission statement.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Earwig:
I use lots of these phrases.
One I heard recently that nearly made me gasp was 'covenanting' instead of working together in a church context. We are covenanting with another person on this mission statement.
Better than fellowshipping. That sounds like some poor sod has been parcelled up and submitted to the tender mercies of UPS.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Covenanting
This is not a buzz word. It is a historic practice by Non-Conformist in England and more widely in the Reformed tradition. There is a branch of Reformed theology called Covenant Theology. By extension coming into membership was seen as "covenanting" which involved signing a document stating the central beliefs of the Congregation. This was extended further than the local congregation with Covenanters in Scotland signing the National Covenant. Charles Wesley of course used it in the creation of the Covenant service and the Voortrekkers remembrance of the Day of Vow could equally be translated "Day of Covenant".
In other words, it is a word with a definite heritage both Biblical, Theological and Historical. I would actively avoid it, it carries too much baggage, but its use can never simply be an obfuscation of unpleasant realities.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Palimpsest:
"Mindful" ...
I can handle "mindful" in the context of the old Irish grace:
Lord, bless this food to our use and us to thy service, and keep us mindful of the needs of others ...
But in other contexts, you're probably right.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Don't "send a message" unless you really are about to hit Send on the email page. If you are TALKING, you aren't "sending a message," you are saying something. Every time you say "This'll really send them a message!" I imagine you scribbling something and dropping it into a bottle, putting the cork in, and flinging it out into the ocean. Which is just about as practical as the message-sending activities you are proposing right now.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
"Oh, Karl, before you go, can I just have a word?"
You could confuse them by delivering a prophecy.
Posts: 761 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
"Oh, Karl, before you go, can I just have a word?"
You could confuse them by delivering a prophecy.
Or something even more random:
quote:
Sure: "Parsnip".
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Consultation: meaning, for example, "We have decided to sell this park to a Chinese company and we are telling you about this irrevocable decision at this meeting in a smallish venue, giving you a few moments to comment, but not to ask questions which require answers, which will cause our security staff to remove you." (A conflation of several events.)
You need to manage your expectations: you are going to have absolutely no effect on us, and must become reconciled to the fact that you are a little person of no importance. We are not a democracy. You are only worth the minimum wage and a zero hours contract.
And, in other contexts, in any place of worship but a Friends' Meeting House, "We will now have a minute of silence for your own prayers." Minute in its other meaning and pronounciation is about the time which follows.
[ 20. October 2014, 17:26: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
"Personal development." This will entail a course you don't want to go on, but which you can point to at the end of the year to prove that you're actively engaged in the great alchemical work of personal transformation, and are becoming better, kinder and more spiritually evolved, thanks to "Spreadsheets: How to Get the Most Out of Pivot Tables".
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Brain Gym - you reminded me of INSET days.
[ 20. October 2014, 18:01: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Tree Bee
Ship's tiller girl
# 4033
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Consultation: meaning, for example, "We have decided to sell this park to a Chinese company and we are telling you about this irrevocable decision at this meeting in a smallish venue, giving you a few moments to comment, but not to ask questions which require answers, which will cause our security staff to remove you." (A conflation of several events.)
.
Wry smile of recognition. In this case the 'consultation' was 50 minutes of discussion in small groups followed by the vicar telling us a contract had been signed that very day, and how exiting, this was going to happen.
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"Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple."
— Woody Guthrie
http://saysaysay54.wordpress.com
Posts: 5257 | From: me to you. | Registered: Feb 2003
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
"Personal development." This will entail a course you don't want to go on, but which you can point to at the end of the year to prove that you're actively engaged in the great alchemical work of personal transformation, and are becoming better, kinder and more spiritually evolved, thanks to "Spreadsheets: How to Get the Most Out of Pivot Tables".
Lucky you. We have 'personal development objectives'. Achieving them isn't important, just so long as we are 'working towards' them.
As for pivot tables, they bring to mind the Italian one-fingered gesture.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Consultation: meaning, for example, "We have decided to sell this park to a Chinese company and we are telling you about this irrevocable decision at this meeting in a smallish venue, giving you a few moments to comment, but not to ask questions which require answers, which will cause our security staff to remove you." (A conflation of several events.)
You need to manage your expectations: you are going to have absolutely no effect on us, and must become reconciled to the fact that you are a little person of no importance. We are not a democracy. You are only worth the minimum wage and a zero hours contract.
I see your 'consultation' and raise you a 'Parish Away-Day'. This is a special high-level kind of consultation in the CofE, led by an Archdeacon or at least some deanery luminary and often with a nice lunch provided. It will involve the inevitable flip-chart and S.W.O.T exercise plus 'sharing our stories' and 'making change work'. The purpose however is not to garner ideas and involve parishioners in decision-making because the decisions were made many months ago and nothing said during the 'away-day' will make the slightest difference to anything. The purpose is to make parishioners feel 'listened to' and to keep them busy until the inevitable church closure or merger or whatever.
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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