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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: TICTH
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
If you want a soul-destroying experience that will make you realise that most people's existence (including your own) is meaningless and that we are all leading shallow empty lives producing nothing of any lasting value, spend a couple of hours in a discount shopping outlet.
Isn't 'outlet' the most discouraging word? Far too close to bodily functions and sanitation engineering.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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deano
princess
# 12063
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Autenrieth Road:
And fuck you for making me reveal in Hell that I have an impoverished vocabulary of curses.
( Educate yourself, hon. )
AHEM! Today on TICTH...
Dear (guess who)-- "you don't have to move out" my ass. That is all.
Sorry, that's boring. Try this if you want to really learn how to verbally abuse people...
The British Army DS Phrase Book
... and to protect myself from accusations of tangetalism (even though it was an Admin who started the tangentelising!), TICTH the new laptop I've been issues with by my clients. The CTRL, ALT and SHIFT keys are in slightly different positions to my old one and I'm getting pissed off with it.
It's as useful as Ann Frank's drumkit!!!
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"The moral high ground is slowly being bombed to oblivion. " - Supermatelot
Posts: 2118 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: Nov 2006
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
TICTH the sermon I sat through this morning- I so wanted to walk out but couldn't as it would have had serious ramifications for the work I am doing here.
45 minutes of being harangued whilst the visiting preacher applied the 1 Peter 3 passage on husbands and wives and used it to confirm rather than challenge thinking about cultural norms.
I am very sad now.
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
TICTH the sermon I sat through this morning- I so wanted to walk out but couldn't as it would have had serious ramifications for the work I am doing here.
45 minutes of being harangued whilst the visiting preacher applied the 1 Peter 3 passage on husbands and wives and used it to confirm rather than challenge thinking about cultural norms.
I am very sad now.
45 Minutes?! Oh my! Perhaps his wife didn't boil his egg properly this morning...
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
Is that a horrible euphemism?
<gets coat. exits>
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
She probably served him eggs scrambled hard. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
There's a part of me would like to join the Preacher X dogpile but that's not what TICTH is for. Maybe a 'Truly Awful Preaching, Words and Messages' or a 'Worst Sermons on Earth' thread would be both cathartic and amusing.
SS HH
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Maybe a 'Truly Awful Preaching, Words and Messages' or a 'Worst Sermons on Earth' thread would be both cathartic and amusing.
I might just do that someday- where would I start it- here or another board. Sorry if I derailed this thread.
Also TICTH the bloody freezing weather- this is meant to be the start of the hot season and I am colder than should be allowed when you live on the Equator!!
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
TICTH International Financial Reporting Standard 11. It is the bane of my working life. Everything has to be adjusted for bloody joint ventures so I'm constantly bombarded with why the statutory figures don't agree to the management accounts.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Pollen.
The cat's fellow travellers (aka fleas).
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
The cat's fellow travellers (aka fleas).
Seconded.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
People who comment on community updates.
In particular, the people who seem to think that complaining about busing and calling anyone animals or calling for the arrest of all public school kids because if their parents were decent human beings who were raising them right, they would have enrolled them in private schools, is going to help the situation.
In particular, people who make comments like that after the situation has already degenerated into a physical confrontation.
(Or maybe it's just people I can't stand.)
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"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
TICTH this bellend.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
TICTH this bellend.
Theodore Roosevelt?
Posts: 761 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
TICTH whichever wanker(s) at the Bank of England who fucked up the CHAPS system yesterday which meant that two of my clients couldn't complete their sale and purchase transactions.
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
TICTH a senior colleague of mine who, having assured me on more than one occasion that they only needed some summary figures, turns around to me today and then says that we need full details. Had I known this was needed in the first place, I would have set up my work so that it could accomodate the detail, but as it wasn't needed, I was able to take a shortcut.
Now I have to completely redo a day's work and then add on another's work to that! ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
TICTH this bellend.
Theodore Roosevelt?
Wierd I thought I was consigning Mike Read.
TICTH IOS8 clipboard that is fucking with my links.
[ 21. October 2014, 19:40: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
(Specifically, Mike Read's UKIP Calypso in a cod-Caribbean accent.)
[ 21. October 2014, 19:42: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Oh... TICTH a murderer in Ottawa, but he's probably already there.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Amen.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
TICTH the airline that shall remain nameless pending their response to my complaint letter who have managed to alter the individual legs of my 4 international flights five times (yes they changed one flight twice)
Not only that but on two of these changes they didn't bother to tell me at all and not once have they sent me an updated e ticket without at least two phonecalls to request it. I am absolutely at the end of my tether with these people. How do they run a business????
Oh and to add to the laugh or cry hilarity of the situation I have been so confused by all the changes and timezones that I booked my domestic connection for the wrong freaking day. Though Air New Zealand (not the offending party) have much better systems and I have just rebooked this flight for the right day (and latest best guess at when airline from mordor might decide I am permitted to arrive home) at an additional cost of only $50 and have recieved my new eticket seconds later. God bless you Air NZ.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
The next person to claim persecution because the law requires them to treats gays and lesbians as equal human beings gets whacked in the face with a plank.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Ticth comedians who think gay rape is funny.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The next person to claim persecution because the law requires them to treats gays and lesbians as equal human beings gets whacked in the face with a plank.
Please bring your plank to Arizona.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Never though I would do this, but I have to consign my beloved Neph TH, because he introduced me to this piece of insanity. (Warning, very gross zombie stuff and a very brief shot of a caesarean-- very likely NSFW)
Stuck in my head. For the last week.
And why you always talk about the cool kids,
Who take archery?
Yeah, you're a shrinky dink.
You'll get a funeral if you don't wise up and call me,
Carl Poppa.
[ 24. October 2014, 01:28: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The next person to claim persecution because the law requires them to treats gays and lesbians as equal human beings gets whacked in the face with a plank.
Please bring your plank to Arizona.
*THWACK!*
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The next person to claim persecution because the law requires them to treats gays and lesbians as equal human beings gets whacked in the face with a plank.
Please bring your plank to Arizona.
*THWACK!*
I note with interest that the clue stick has been upgraded. Perhaps I should take the upgrade to work.....
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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Women who think skills in carpentry, car mechanics, plumbing and lifting heavy objects is automatically conferred at birth with a penis. He is a software engineer. He volunteered at the food pantry/free store as their treasurer, computer specialist and free tax man for anyone who asks. Not as general handyman.
He can't get the office work done because he gets about thirty interruptions per day from random women telling him; "Someone pulled up with a truck bed of furniture, you need to unload it." "You need to carry all the summer clothes down to the basement and bring up the 48 boxes of winter stuff." "The air conditioner is broken, you need to fix it."
And why is it always, "You need to," and never "Would you mind?" He's 63 years old! You young bossy bitches can do it yourselves.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
Women who think skills in carpentry, car mechanics, plumbing and lifting heavy objects is automatically conferred at birth with a penis. He is a software engineer. He volunteered at the food pantry/free store as their treasurer, computer specialist and free tax man for anyone who asks. Not as general handyman.
He can't get the office work done because he gets about thirty interruptions per day from random women telling him; "Someone pulled up with a truck bed of furniture, you need to unload it." "You need to carry all the summer clothes down to the basement and bring up the 48 boxes of winter stuff." "The air conditioner is broken, you need to fix it."
And why is it always, "You need to," and never "Would you mind?" He's 63 years old! You young bossy bitches can do it yourselves.
I suggest the response "2nd word is 'off'; first can be selected from a limited range..."
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
Going to the dentist. I know they're all wonderful and very necessary but I hatehatehate it.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Earwax. I had to go get my ears unplugged yesterday. Happens every 8 or 9 months or so.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
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Posted
TICTH dishonesty about being in an open relationship. It's in my fucking profile--if you're in a relationship and your partner isn't OK with stuff, then it's a no-go. I will not be a home-wrecker, thankyouverymuch.
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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Earwax. I had to go get my ears unplugged yesterday. Happens every 8 or 9 months or so.
Hopi ear candles ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Except sometimes people have awful accidents with ear candles--as in hot wax in their ears. There was a case in the news here, years ago, which was enough to put me off ever trying--especially since the docs chose to *scrape out the wax*.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
FWIW, YMMV, etc.
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
TICTH the alleged necessity of being able to drive a car. Also my apparent inability to do this to a consistent standard.
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
You can buy products that dissolve ear wax. You put the stuff into your ears at night and flush your ears with warm water in the morning.
I have to do this regularly because my ears produce lots of wax which would clog my hearing aids if I didn't get rid of it.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Jonah the Whale
Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
You can buy products that dissolve ear wax.
Yes, they are called oil. Mineral oil will do, but vegetable oil is probably more pleasant.
So I suppose ICTH selling household products at inflated prices by labelling them as medical ones.
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR FUCKING EARWAX ON MY THREAD.
thankyouverymuch.
—Ariston, increasingly pissed off Hellhost
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
TICTH laws which permit a teenager to bring his gun to school.
Or even permit him to have one in the first place.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
I haven't seen anything to indicate he was permitted to bring it. He had it concealed until he pulled it out and started shooting. It was his father's gun.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
TICTH Greenwich Sodding Bastard Mean Time. Or at least the changeover - here begins a week of jet-laggish wanting to fall asleep in the afternoon. Pick a bloody time and stick to it, people!
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
One of the great blessings of retirement is that, rather like Kindergarten, afternoon naps are virtually mandatory.
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
TICTH Greenwich Sodding Bastard Mean Time. Or at least the changeover - here begins a week of jet-laggish wanting to fall asleep in the afternoon. Pick a bloody time and stick to it, people!
Move to Arizona -- we don't mess with the clock twice a year.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
TICTH Greenwich Sodding Bastard Mean Time. Or at least the changeover - here begins a week of jet-laggish wanting to fall asleep in the afternoon. Pick a bloody time and stick to it, people!
Move to Arizona -- we don't mess with the clock twice a year.
That's because you only have Light o'clock and Dark o'clock.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
TICTH Greenwich Sodding Bastard Mean Time. Or at least the changeover - here begins a week of jet-laggish wanting to fall asleep in the afternoon. Pick a bloody time and stick to it, people!
Move to Arizona -- we don't mess with the clock twice a year.
Unless you are on Navajo time.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
What I assume to be aftereffects of my flu jab yesterday morning. Headiness occasionally, and prickly nose. The latter would be a cold, but not the former.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
fruit flies
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
Lost the cable to connect my camera to my computer. Ordered another one on-line, not too expensive... except shipping was about the same price as the cable. Grrrr.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Conjunctivitis!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Dark Knight
Super Zero
# 9415
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Posted
MOOCs
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So don't ever call me lucky
You don't know what I done, what it was, who I lost, or what it cost me - A B Original: I C U
----
Love is as strong as death (Song of Solomon 8:6).
Posts: 2958 | From: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road | Registered: Apr 2005
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