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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Pets in Hell
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
Because they are entertaining, and you can blame most of your problems on them. And Lamb Chopped - ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) I am *never* getting a macaw!
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I an understand keeping a cat, or even a dog (just) - but why do you want to give houseroom to a lot of mad, crypto-reptilians from the Jurassic?
Because mad as they are, they are still more sane than the people in our church.
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
I enjoy the contrast.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Athrawes:
Because they are entertaining, and you can blame most of your problems on them. And Lamb Chopped - I am *never* getting a macaw!
Given what Machu Picchu the macaw in Diane Duane's young wizard series turned out to be, probably very wise.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I was wondering if anyone would spot the name origin...
Really, I think Diane Duane was on to something, and suspect there are a lot of personality similarities between a macaw and one of the heavenly Powers that Be. Mostly in the sense of humor.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
Now I'm going to have to chase that down.
What I don't get is why the budgies are driving you to contemplate rat poison. I mean, if you have had a *macaw* screaming at you that the world is a bad place and nobody loves a bird! I would have thought that a pair of budgies would be positively soothing by comparison.
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) There are four parakeets, vs. only one macaw.
Plus, macaws don't screech all the time--ours did it rarely. Mostly they just say "Heloo-oo-oo-ooo?" in a voice like a mad old auntie that you keep locked in the attic. Which made us a popular stop on Halloween.
They also click their beaks and make a noise I can only describe as a purr.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
I agree with, Firenze. I've cleaned up a lot of animal waste in my time. My first husband had pythons, anacondas, monkeys, a kinkajou, turtles and a huge lizard that once got loose and returned, tailless, at full run, with the irate populace of the entire neighborhood behind him. I learned that unless I had the reward of something furry to cuddle* with, it just wasn't worth it.
* Not counting the cold night when the furnace didn't work and we had to sleep with the boa constrictor, in a pillow case, between us.
When we woke up it was gone, not to return until months later when I found it hanging over the bedroom door like a ten foot rug.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
There speaks someone who has never cuddled a parrot. They can be remarkably soft and snugly, right up until the moment they stick a beak in your ear.
And Lamb Chopped, I don't care how cute and attractive you make them sound, nothing that can unwell a cage with it's beak is getting houseroom at my place!
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
heheheheheh. I just noticed your tagline.
A macaw would be remarkably handy if you could only get it to apply its beak to what you want to have taken apart--and not, say, the computer keyboard.
And what is it about parrots and ears? They seem to think of them as chew toys.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
My theory is, proper ears are small holes hidden by feathers. If your ears stick out, it is because parrots need exercise and stimulation, and your ears are an attempt to provide these. It would, therefore, be rude to not play with them.
( and the tagline is a pretty accurate description of how I teach) ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Watching sulphur-crested cockatoos open up the covers on street lights is fun.
Unless, presumably, you are responsible for the maintenance of street lights.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
Keeps the maintainence crews employed. Cockatoos are a public service. ( Although mine are about to get their beaks welded shut if they don't stop screeching!)
[ 30. September 2014, 03:15: Message edited by: Athrawes ]
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
We have a cockatiel. I was very clear that I did not want a cockatiel. I was over ruled. I was assured that it wouldn't create any extra work for me; I wouldn't have to feed it or clean it out. Alas, it turns out that cockatiels spit seed husks over a wide area, and if not hoovered daily, these husks attach to people's feet and get tracked throughout the house, into beds etc.
My family's reaction was, more or less "Gosh! It turns out you were right after all! Having a cockatiel has created masses of extra work for you! Gee, it must suck to be you!"
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Having realised that I was not happy, my husband then had a brilliant idea! To make the task of daily hoovering round the cockatiel cage easier, he bought me a new vaccuum cleaner for my Christmas.
As one of my friends said - "At least he's not the sort of husband you worry about other women stealing."
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Having realised that I was not happy, my husband then had a brilliant idea! To make the task of daily hoovering round the cockatiel cage easier, he bought me a new vaccuum cleaner for my Christmas.
Put the vacuum cleaner to good use: suck the bird up it! End of.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
NEQ: quote:
Having realised that I was not happy, my husband then had a brilliant idea! To make the task of daily hoovering round the cockatiel cage easier, he bought me a new vaccuum cleaner for my Christmas.
My husband is not perfect (says she, contemplating the gerbil bedding that has been tracked all through the house and that *nobody else* is likely to vacuum up) but at least he buys me Proper Presents for Christmas.
Anyway, gerbils. Our gerbils died (of old age) within a couple of weeks of each other. We'd intended to wait a few weeks before getting some more, but the sight of the empty tank was too much to bear, so we went to the pet shop for some more after less than a week and came back with three new ones.
I was used to coping with a pair of geriatric gerbils. I'd forgotten how much bedding a group of hyperactive baby gerbils can kick out of a cage...
And I think they're plotting their escape. They seem to be building up their litter as high as it will go; one side is nearly at the top of the tank already. ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
In fairness, it was a roomba robot vacuum cleaner but still, I was given a vacuum cleaner for Christmas to clean up after a cockatiel which I had emphatically said I didn't want, because I would end up cleaning up after it.....
quote:
Put the vacuum cleaner to good use: suck the bird up it! End of.
It's not the cockatiel's fault.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Could you train the cockatiel to operate the vacuum cleaner?
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Train the cockatiel to ride on the Roomba...
It'd be even better if you could get it a fighter jet pilot's outfit.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
There is something weirdly fascinating about the fact that Australian birds have somehow managed to dominate the international pet market even though they give you all hell. I'm beginning to wonder whether it's all part of some devilishly clever plot we've developed to weaken your defences. Sadly my classification level isn't high enough to find out.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
The mere fact that you've begun to suspect means the car with the blacked windows is even now on its way to your address. Don't worry - you'll be back. You just won't remember.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
We have a cockatiel. I was very clear that I did not want a cockatiel. I was over ruled. I was assured that it wouldn't create any extra work for me; I wouldn't have to feed it or clean it out. ...
When our kids were younger, they kept bothering us about wanting a puppy. They assured us they would take care of it and it wouldn't create any more work for us.
I didn't believe them.
Eventually, I put them to the test. I bought them each a goldfish, and a separate bowl for each of the two kids. They were to feed, clean the bowl, and change the water.
One died within 2 weeks. The other not long after - not sure exactly when, because the water was so murky we didn't know it was dead until it was floating on the top.
They never asked about a puppy again.
It would not have gone well if the goldfish had survived.
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
To be fair, the life expectancy of a goldfish in a bowl isn't high. It's a bit like keeping a cat in a cupboard.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
To be fair, the life expectancy of a goldfish in a bowl isn't high. It's a bit like keeping a cat in a cupboard.
And what a good idea!
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
To be fair, the life expectancy of a goldfish in a bowl isn't high. ...
Especially if you don't feed it or change the water.
It is easier to get rid of a dead goldfish than to get rid of a hungry, dirty puppy.
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
Jane R - we had gerbils which we kept in a glass tank in the front room. Our cats used to go in to look at them, and I swear that the gerbils would stand up and pull faces at them.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
St Gwladwys, we have a friend with greyhounds; once when she was visiting (several gerbil generations ago) her new greyhound saw a gerbil emerging from its bedding, thought "Wow! Tasty greyhound treat!" snapped at the gerbil and... *clunk* jaws hit the glass of the tank.
The gerbil didn't bat an eyelid. The greyhound was seriously worried: Small Furry Creature Protected By Invisible Force-Field!
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
We had gerbils in a cage when I was a child. Next-door's cat used to glue himself to the cage looking hopeful if no-one noticed him sneaking in. The gerbils chewed his whiskers off.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Our gerbil book says that this is because gerbils originally come from a place where there are no cats, so they have no instinctive fear of cats. I think it's just because they're cheeky, though.
Gerbils: Rodents with Attitude.
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
We had gerbils in a cage when I was a child. Next-door's cat used to glue himself to the cage looking hopeful if no-one noticed him sneaking in. The gerbils chewed his whiskers off.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
This made my day!
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
I have no idea what a gerbil is, but I like them!
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Gerbil ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
To be fair, the life expectancy of a goldfish in a bowl isn't high. It's a bit like keeping a cat in a cupboard.
When my granddaughter was just three, she had a goldfish. She thought it looked hungry, so gave it her breakfast of weetbix while her mum was hanging washing out. Then she decided fish needed cleaning as it was covered in weetbix mush. She caught it in her hands, dropped it in sink. Then she put washing up detergent on it and held it under tap.
You are right. Goldfish do not have a high life expectancy. Her mum came inside as Miss three was wondering why fish no longer swam in its bowl.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Gerbil
I wonder if we are allowed to keep these in Australia? Must find out...
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Athrawes:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Gerbil
I wonder if we are allowed to keep these in Australia? Must find out...
I doubt that you can. They would be considered an invasive species, and they multiply like rabbits. But they are adorable and are much nicer than hamsters.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
The mere fact that you've begun to suspect means the car with the blacked windows is even now on its way to your address. Don't worry - you'll be back. You just won't remember.
They appear to have missed and stolen the neighbour's motorcycles instead. At least, that's what the police are telling me happened in the hours following your message.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
The Cute overload site has always had a lot of gerbils. Little girls seem to love dressing them up and making little stage sets for them.
Pretty darn adorable, the gerbils and the little girls.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
You made me follow a link to a site called "Cute Overload". I didn't become a host of Hell to frequent sites called "Cute Overload".
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Dear Everyone: we need some guidelines to good taste. That site? Violates all of them.
Remember how we set the default typeface to Garamond a couple days ago? We in Hell have Standards. High ones, even. Please, do try to conform to them.
Good God, just when I thought I couldn't burn out my eyeballs any more than they already were…
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
You made me follow a link to a site called "Cute Overload". I didn't become a host of Hell to frequent sites called "Cute Overload".
You would prefer Kitten War instead? Or maybe Cats That Look Like Hitler?
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Of the latter, we approve more. However, you will give your evil overlords pictures of calicos. We will choose one to stroke as we cackle and plot your demise.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Your wish is my command.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
The mere fact that you've begun to suspect means the car with the blacked windows is even now on its way to your address. Don't worry - you'll be back. You just won't remember.
They appear to have missed and stolen the neighbour's motorcycles instead. At least, that's what the police are telling me happened in the hours following your message.
'Why are we here, sir? It's about some stolen motorcycles. Did you notice anything in the last few hours? Nothing? You can't quite remember how you spent the evening? Not to worry, I expect you dozed off. Into a nice, relaxing sleep. A deep, peaceful sleep. In which you remember nothing. Nothing at all. Deeply asleep. We'll let ourselves out. It was all about motorcycles.'
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
To be fair, the life expectancy of a goldfish in a bowl isn't high. It's a bit like keeping a cat in a cupboard.
When my granddaughter was just three, she had a goldfish. She thought it looked hungry, so gave it her breakfast of weetbix while her mum was hanging washing out. Then she decided fish needed cleaning as it was covered in weetbix mush. She caught it in her hands, dropped it in sink. Then she put washing up detergent on it and held it under tap.
You are right. Goldfish do not have a high life expectancy. Her mum came inside as Miss three was wondering why fish no longer swam in its bowl.
Believe it or not, that counts as a merciful death for a goldfish. The vast majority die of ammonia and nitrite poisoning over several days or weeks.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
The mere fact that you've begun to suspect means the car with the blacked windows is even now on its way to your address. Don't worry - you'll be back. You just won't remember.
They appear to have missed and stolen the neighbour's motorcycles instead. At least, that's what the police are telling me happened in the hours following your message.
'Why are we here, sir? It's about some stolen motorcycles. Did you notice anything in the last few hours? Nothing? You can't quite remember how you spent the evening? Not to worry, I expect you dozed off. Into a nice, relaxing sleep. A deep, peaceful sleep. In which you remember nothing. Nothing at all. Deeply asleep. We'll let ourselves out. It was all about motorcycles.'
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
You made me follow a link to a site called "Cute Overload". I didn't become a host of Hell to frequent sites called "Cute Overload".
This is how sorry
I am.
Also, I ate the baby gerbils.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
This is how sorry
I am.
This is how sorry you will be if the cat images don't stop.
That goes for the lot of you.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
I don't care that you're an admin, Marvin. If we ever meet in person, I will find a way to get a ferret to run up your trouser leg.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Promises, promises...
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
We also had a semi tame ferret, along with the gerbils and the cats.
We had a friend who was the widow of a local doctor, very down to earth but with a cut glass accent. She came to see Sam, the ferret. He bit her twice in the space of a few minutes. Her reaction was wonderful - "Don't worry, St. G, I get far worse from my cats".
I still think ferrets are cute though.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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