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Source: (consider it) Thread: Ho Ho Bloody Ho
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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This is for all the Scrooges out there.

I hate this time of year.

One of the thing that irks me is deciding what the time of year is called. Most places you look it's Christmas, yet there are legions of conservative nitpickers who think they're being helpful when they go: "It's not Christmas, it's Advent." Just get your head out of your liturgical arse!

And there are so many more things to make you cringe. The tallest folks on my office are running the risk of getting garroted by low-hanging decorations. My desk has bits of tinsel falling on it, others who insist on having a real tree will be doing the same with pine needles.

It's just all so unnecessary.

There are the nativity plays which are almost invariably unfaithful to the texts and embellish the details (show me where there's a bloody stable mentioned in Matthew or Luke) to the extent that what enters into the collective consciousness as the nativity story is little more than a sanitised parody.

When you just want to go and hide or complain about something you get told to "get into the Christmas spirit" which is really unhelpful if you have S.A.D. and find the dark months really tough. Getting into the spirit of things is not like a light switch you can turn on and off.

What else makes you irritable about this time of year?

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Caissa
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# 16710

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There's a fuckin' tree in my hallway at work. I can't stand the commercialism of the season. Capitalism has taken a nice, cute Chritian holiday and created a Frankenstein's monster out of it. Lucy was correct; Christmas is run by an Eastern syndicate.
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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Oh well done. In one part you tell people to stop nitpicking and describe arses as liturgical, but in another part you complain about inaccuracy in nativity plays.

I sense one of those irregular verb forms. "You are a nitpicker, I have a legitimate concern about accuracy".

What irritates me about this time of year is the obligatory appearance on the Ship of complaints about this time of year. Though at least you waited until December. Refreshingly late for this sort of thing.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Caissa:
There's a fuckin' tree in my hallway at work. I can't stand the commercialism of the season. Capitalism has taken a nice, cute Chritian holiday and created a Frankenstein's monster out of it. Lucy was correct; Christmas is run by an Eastern syndicate.

You resent trees making money and know someone called Lucy?

Lay off the eggnog.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:

What else makes you irritable about this time of year?

The knowledge that every year somebody will start a thread like this [Snore]

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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Lord Jestocost
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# 12909

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
What else makes you irritable about this time of year?

Christmas I can handle, but the commercial sector's delusion - and the media's sharing in it - that we have such a thing as Black Friday in the UK immediately before Advent was deeply annoying. I sense it will only get worse in years to come.
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Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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The endless meme's on social media that claim that being wished "Happy Holidays" or whatever is taking the Christ out of CHRISTmas. That this stops people celebrating as they wish. And that this is yet another example of how Christians are being being discriminated against / persecuted.

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

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Jemima the 9th
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# 15106

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Well I like the run up to Christmas. But I suspect this is because a) rarely for me, I'm sort of on track with the shopping and b) unlike last year, I'm making it round said shopping without dissolving into tears every 5 minutes at the things that remind me of my Mum.

If that wasn't the case, I'd probably be right with you.

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Stejjie
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# 13941

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quote:
Originally posted by Tubbs:
The endless meme's on social media that claim that being wished "Happy Holidays" or whatever is taking the Christ out of CHRISTmas. That this stops people celebrating as they wish. And that this is yet another example of how Christians are being being discriminated against / persecuted.

Tubbs

All the "bah, humbug" from Christians that turn what should be the most joyous times of year, because it celebrates one of the greatest things to happen in the universe ever, into a season of nit-picking, joylessness and condemnation.

And yes, I include sermon against the commercialisation of Christmas in that - not because I'm in favour of it (I'm not!), but because we should be proclaiming good news from God, not a miserable God who's fed up of us all.

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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Shopping becomes totally unbearable [Mad]

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Garden. Room. Walk

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
It's just all so unnecessary.

Unnecessary to achieve what aim? "Necessary" suggests necessary for something. What is it unnecessary for?

quote:
Originally posted by Tubbs:
The endless meme's on social media that claim that being wished "Happy Holidays" or whatever is taking the Christ out of CHRISTmas. That this stops people celebrating as they wish.

Actually it probably stops very few people from doing much of anything -- except maybe consider Christianity as a valid belief choice.

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
What irritates me about this time of year is the obligatory appearance on the Ship of complaints about this time of year. Though at least you waited until December. Refreshingly late for this sort of thing.

[Overused] Although in some ways it's better than Gordon Cheng's old annual screed about the evils of Lent.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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I celebrate Christmas as a religious feast. Like a Hindu. Worship and prayers, and FOOD, gloriously food, as the workhouse orphans used to sing in that parody of Dickens.

Do as you like. Grant other people the same courtesy.

Ignore what you don't like

Not difficult at all!

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Even more so than I was before

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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Agree wirh Mousethief regarding those late, not lamented Lenten screeches.

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Even more so than I was before

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Barefoot Friar

Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100

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I get irritated with self-righteous people who go on and on and on about it being CHRISTmas and that using Xmas or "Happy Holidays" is the epitome of a godless culture. Grow up.

I also get irritated when people get irritated with my celebration of Advent and my attempt to stave off Christmas until, you know, Christmas. I won't berate you if you don't berate me, and if you can't take a smile and warm "A blessed Advent to you, too!" when you wish me a merry Christmas earlier in the season than I like, then you've got bigger problems. I could come unglued on the merry Christmas wishers and yammer on about it being Advent, but I don't. So don't do it to me.

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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu

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LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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I am very much on track with shopping. Haven't bought a thing.

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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I get irritated by members of the church - or, worse, people who come but once a year - who complain because I didn't choose their particular favourite carol.

Especially if I did have it at a service when they weren't present!

[ 04. December 2014, 14:33: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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Once a year drinkers.

If you're going to have more than two glasses of sherry, then for goodness sake get into some form before you make a total arse of yourself at the work's do or in a pub on December 24th.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
My desk has bits of tinsel falling on it, others who insist on having a real tree will be doing the same with pine needles.

It's just all so unnecessary.

...

When you just want to go and hide or complain about something you get told to "get into the Christmas spirit" which is really unhelpful if you have S.A.D. and find the dark months really tough.

Well, this is precisely why we have a midwinter festival, during these short, dark, cold, dismal days. We need a bit of glitz, glamour, light in the darkness, frivolity and colour.

OK the commercialism is hard to stand, but an unrelieved stretch of miserable weather from November to February would be difficult to take.

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moron
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# 206

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The lack of proper recognition given Don Imus.
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
... show me where there's a bloody stable mentioned in Matthew or Luke ...

OK, there isn't a stable as such, but there is a manger, which might have been in a stable.
quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
... if you have S.A.D. and find the dark months really tough ...

... you could always festoon your house/office with as many lights as possible - it might make you feel better.

I'll get my coat. [Devil]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Steve Langton
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# 17601

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I think for me the big problem of the season is that Santa business.

I wouldn't have much problem with people celebrating the actual St Nicholas on the proper 'Saint's Day' (which I believe is December 6th) as a kind of patron saint of giving, especially to those in actual need.

But the modern "Father Christmas" has no connection with St Nicholas, he's got a whole new legend which is nothing to do with the Incarnation, indeed is positively pagan,and he has basically taken Christmas over.

Worse, 'Santa' has become virtually the only religion on behalf of which you are allowed, almost encouraged, to persecute people. Declaring unbelief in Santa can really get your life damaged, and people will go to pretty incredible lengths to sustain children's belief in Santa. And that's people who would find it politically incorrect or something to teach about Jesus....

I don't think anybody would be allowed nowadays to invent such a commercialist figure and foist it on any other religion, let alone be allowed to really persecute unbelievers.

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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What is this thing called shop-ping of which you speak?

Ian J.

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
My desk has bits of tinsel falling on it, others who insist on having a real tree will be doing the same with pine needles.


You want to try getting the smell of beer out of the carpet and the horse blood off the wallpaper. Chances are the log is green and sets off the smoke alarm and you're lucky if you can get the waissailers to go home by February, never mind all the standing about in wet grass hailing the Return of the Sun when the only light in the sky is the reflection of the sodium strip down the motorway on the cloud cover.
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Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
What is this thing called shop-ping of which you speak?

Ian J.

A strangely addictive activity involving small rectangles of embossed plastic, paper and metal tokens, plastic bags and cries of "Oh, my poor feet!" and "The crowds this year are terrible".

[ 04. December 2014, 15:35: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
... your liturgical arse! ...

Oh great. Now I have a grotesque image stuck in my head of spending the next three weeks with a purple arse.

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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lilBuddha
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# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by Steve Langton:

I don't think anybody would be allowed nowadays to invent such a commercialist figure and foist it on any other religion, let alone be allowed to really persecute unbelievers.

Read this last line first and though you you talking about Jesus.

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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

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Starbug
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# 15917

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quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
A strangely addictive activity involving small rectangles of embossed plastic, paper and metal tokens, plastic bags and cries of "Oh, my poor feet!" and "The crowds this year are terrible".

Or lots of online clicking, followed by an impatient wait for the postman/woman's poor feet to reach your house. And then, in January, the less welcome arrival of several sheets of paper demanding payment for using said plastic rectangle.

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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor

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Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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Ah, but that's not real shopping!
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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Okay, I cop to pulling the whole Advent liturgical jackassery thing—but mostly on my annoying holier-than-thou relatives who post incessant "it's CHRISTmas, not the holidays! Remind people to say CHRISTmas!" shit almost constantly, and will mention it in their CHRISTmas cards.

We Get It. Happy feast of St. Nicholas to you too. May Krampus visit your house and never leave.

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
... your liturgical arse! ...

Oh great. Now I have a grotesque image stuck in my head of spending the next three weeks with a purple arse.
Shouldn't it be rose for the third Sunday?

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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Whiners. Is this because no one likes you and no-one gives you presents? or egg nog? Do people flee from the mistletoe because you lack personal hygiene? Are you a loser? You probably prefer to celebrate his death you effing Christly Christians.

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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

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Sipech
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# 16870

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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Is this because no one likes you and no-one gives you presents? or egg nog? Are you a loser?

Yes. And?

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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[Big Grin] Firenze

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این نیز بگذرد

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anoesis
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# 14189

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Christmas is different down here in upside-down land, of course - but not necessarily better. On the one hand, all the tinsel and baubles and lights and roasted turkey and plum pudding and such just seem like a pointless sideshow when the sun is bright, the days are long, and there is a beach nearby. On the other hand, because Christmas tends to fall at the beginning of the summer holiday period, there is a mad rush to get a whole load of projects all wrapped up at work at the same time as the pressure ramps up and up in terms of obtaining presents for one's many, many, nieces and nephews, and doing relevant seasonal cooking duties.

However, my big gripe about the 'Christmas season', which so far as I can tell begins where Halloween ends, is that the rest of the world enters into some peculiar mental/emotional state where they lose absolutely all of their musical taste, and listen to the most appalling shite imaginable, 'because it's Christmassy'. Mariah Carey seems to be a big offender in this regard - if I don't want to listen to her for the other ten months of the year, why would I want to listen to her warbling Christmas songs? And 'Little Drummer Boy' is the worst earworm Of. All. Time. My father-in-law had some CD of dreadful stuff (including the obligatory drumming boy...) on repeat play at Christmas last year, and at about 3pm I had to ask him if we could change it, it was getting like nails on a blackboard. He put some instrumental Christmas music on instead. It had panpipes.

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by moron:
The lack of proper recognition given Don Imus.

What? You wanna "unpack" this, please?

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Took me a minute, too. He is making a screamingly funny joke about ho's. Golf- clap for the little dear and carry on.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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luvanddaisies

the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761

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Imagine my smiling little face when I opened an email from w*rk today, to find that December 12th is Festive-Wear Day, when we are 'encouraged' to come to w*rk wearing something 'festive', like a Christmas jumper, or reindeer antlers, or a full-on Christmas outfit, so that London can see how christmassy and festive we are.
Ho-fuckin'-ho-bloody-ho-ho-ho.

My flatmate said wrapping myself in chains with moneyboxes, keys and padlocks hanging off them, binding my jaw shut, and covering myself in talcum powder wouldn't be appropriate. Apparently Marley's Ghost isn't exactly 'festive'.

Apparently painting myself green and going as the Grinch wouldn't be the right thing to do either.

Imagine, though, my joy unfettered when I checked my rota, and realised I'm not working that day. Hooray! [Big Grin]

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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
What else makes you irritable about this time of year?

Aggressive secular/atheist types who tell you in no uncertain terms religion is a load of bollocks, Jesus was a twat, and the whole thing is bilge, and express contempt for the imagery used in carols, cards, etc etc, but insist on their right to celebrate Christmas. Wtf are you celebrating, exactly? The getting of gifts?
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CuppaT
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# 10523

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Actually, I think a guy going naked as the Baby Jesus might get some attention.

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Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it any longer, draw back a little and have a cup of tea.
~Elder Sophrony

Posts: 919 | From: the edge of the Ozarks | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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There's a very good reason why, when I was working the floor on Black Friday, I joined in the "no fucking Christmas music!" vote with everybody else. After listening to the same mass-produced awful autotune all day, a bit of Ella Fitzgerald does a body good.

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Shopping becomes totally unbearable [Mad]

No different to any other time of year then.

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Last ever sig ...

blog

Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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I love Christmas.

It's Advent I can't stand.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Fr Weber
Shipmate
# 13472

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Caissa:
There's a fuckin' tree in my hallway at work. I can't stand the commercialism of the season. Capitalism has taken a nice, cute Chritian holiday and created a Frankenstein's monster out of it. Lucy was correct; Christmas is run by an Eastern syndicate.

You resent trees making money
Looks more to me like he resents trees fucking. I assume he's envious.

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"The Eucharist is not a play, and you're not Jesus."

--Sr Theresa Koernke, IHM

Posts: 2512 | From: Oakland, CA | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged
luvanddaisies

the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761

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quote:
Originally posted by Fr Weber:
Looks more to me like he resents trees fucking. I assume he's envious.

<tears up old school biology textbooks>

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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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We are doing family Christmas meal at the weekend - as the 'rents are going to the otherside of the world for Christmas.

Just thought I would annoy the too-soon tendency by going the whole hog [Big Grin]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
quote:
Originally posted by Fr Weber:
Looks more to me like he resents trees fucking. I assume he's envious.

<tears up old school biology textbooks>
You know you can buy bits of turned tree to fuck yourself with, I believe they claim the varnish stops them going manky ...

Possibly not the best Xmas pressie though [Two face]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442

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What's so nice about eggnog? Have I only had the horrible version? It basically tasted like alcoholic egg, as I recall. I much prefer sherry.

Once it's December, I like Christmas/advent. It's when it creeps into November that I get annoyed. Our landlord decorates the outside of our building with Christmas lights the first week in November. It does make up for coming home in the dark though (normally it's the week after the clocks have gone back)
It's tradition in my family that Mince Pies Shall Not Be Eaten Before December 1st. Mr Marzipan actually went along with it this year (normally he's wolfing them down as soon as they're in the shops)

Edit/crosspost: a fucking tree, is that one covered in mistletoe?

[ 04. December 2014, 19:52: Message edited by: marzipan ]

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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese

Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
luvanddaisies

the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761

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quote:
Originally posted by marzipan:
a fucking tree, is that one covered in mistletoe?

BIG mistletoe. With knobs on.

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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by marzipan:
Once it's December, I like Christmas/advent. It's when it creeps into November that I get annoyed.

Get used to it. Global warming is making all the seasons shift.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by marzipan:
What's so nice about eggnog? Have I only had the horrible version? It basically tasted like alcoholic egg, as I recall.

It is alcoholic egg. Which is fine if that's how you like your eggs. Give me a glass of good mulled wine any day.

quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
Imagine my smiling little face when I opened an email from w*rk today, to find that December 12th is Festive-Wear Day, when we are 'encouraged' to come to w*rk wearing something 'festive', like a Christmas jumper, or reindeer antlers, or a full-on Christmas outfit, so that London can see how christmassy and festive we are.

I've just realized, of course 12 December is Christmas Jumper Day, when people are encouraged to wear a jumper with a Christmas theme and donate money to charity. The "donate money to charity" bit sometimes seems to get a bit lost in the general competitiveness of who's got the most themey of themed sweaters.
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