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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Adults with autism to be audited

announces apt alliterator

Ace! Am advocate for adolescent with Asperger's.

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Great tits cope well with warming

Wearing only tight t-shirts and bikini tops.

(Sorry. Dirty mind. Ah well... [Roll Eyes] )

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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I have to confess I came in here to post that exact same headline, Wesley [Hot and Hormonal]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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It's still the most e-mailed story on the BBC News main page. [Killing me] [Big Grin]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Microwaves 'cook ballast aliens'

Which foolishly calls for those aliens to in turn microwave ballast earthlings! [Help]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Frigid robot eyes top tech prize

I think if I were aiming for a technology prize, an award of frigid robot eyes would not be my first choice...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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Search for China Quake Survivors

Must I? And search here? I doubt there are any nearby to find.

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Clinton: 'Race is not over yet'

Yes, there are still race issues.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Italy pledges to bolster security

No one takes my pillow away and gets away with it...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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FLP meets RSS:

Pants display marks anniversary

They even managed to leave the circumflex off.

(Though I see they have since changed the RSS headline).

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Esmeralda

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# 582

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Inspectors push 'stalled' schools

Jump leads are being considered...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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High speed crash head wins appeal

While its feet are up in arms, barely limbing along.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Not from the BBC, but from AP Entertainment News:

Police arrest 50 Cent employee at rapper's mansion

Who but the police have the power to arrest? (Yes, I know about so-called citizens' arrests, which still require police involvement.)

And anyone who agrees to work for a wage of 50 cents deserves to be arrested, I guess.

Employee of rapper 50 Cent arrested at mansion would have conveyed more meaning in the same number of words.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Just seen this one on the BBC Sport page:

Onions will not be rushed - Cook

Quite right, too - just sweat them slowly over a low heat, and they should soften nicely without burning.

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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Ah! Another lost Enid Blyton tale:

Seven rested for England friendly

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Brown 'will stick to' terror plan

Oh no! Now he'll terrorise us too!

[ETA: Brown? Looks like a crappy plan.]

[ 02. June 2008, 20:40: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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BBC blamed for attacks on Poles

It's called global warming, stupid!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Obama begins running-mate search

Must bring own pedometer.

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Baby emu could have been omelette

Ooooh, the POWER, the POWER!! Mrwahahaha! Bird-icide all over again! Yet, for once, the attempt was aborted...

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Proudly brought to you by the Department of Verb-Noun Confusion:

Five job interview bear traps

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Oy, triple post. Sorry. I just love those headlines. So, here goes:

Dementia burden 'could break NHS'

But they may never know.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Chinese South Africans now black

That sunshine is so fierce...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Murray gets past tricky Santoro turns out to be something to do with tennis; I thought it was about this...

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Ecuador puts off Colombian ties

Quite right too, those ties are darn ugly.

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Media watchdog OFCOM fines 30 local radion stations £1.1 million pounds over listener

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mugabe 'preparing to be sworn in'

I'd prefer 'preparing to be sworn at'! [Mad]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Kenya urges AU to suspend Mugabe

From a high tree, preferably.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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[Overused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Warning as France takes EU helm

I'm sure the headline writer didn't mean that. Or did they?

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Virgin rapped on broadband speeds

Mary's been uploading hip-hop songs again..

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bill passes after rethink on duty

He did not have sex with that woman coz he wants a strong election for Obama.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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More Enid Blyton:

Five to face Concorde crash trial

... and how they escaped the falling debris

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Grrr. Beat me to it. But that makes you more tasteless than me!

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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[Big Grin]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Italy declares Pompeii emergency

Well, better 2000 years late then never, I guess.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Still more Enid Blyton:

Five held over teenager's death

Blame it on Timmy.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Nadal to rest after Wimbledon win

whereas everyone else would be off running round the block ?

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Nice one, Mr Kipper. [Big Grin]

Man admits body in cupboard murder

It remains unclear, however, why he murdered someone who was already dead. - The classic case of a skeleton in the cupboard.

[ 08. July 2008, 16:44: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Georgia row spirals as Rice lands

It's a bummer when the arguments start while people are still throwing the confetti...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Student murders accused in court

practically defies belief (or at least normally acceptable standards of ambiguity for headline-writers...)

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Same as here, Euty:

quote:
A new form of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD) may have been uncovered in a handful of patients in the US.
The patients being gnats, one must deduct. Or in the hand of God. Whatever. Yes: just, whatever. [Ultra confused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Obama starts tour in Afghanistan

Hope some out there can read. 'b' ain't 's'. [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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McCain's 'whiner' adviser quits

McCain Campaign begins aggressive search for new whiner advisor; meanwhile, McCain will settle for soft muttering.

Darling: Public feel 'squeezed'

won't you stop hugging them so tightly, Sweetcheeks?

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Woman left brain damaged by detox

a) she inherited it?

b) she abandoned it?

c) there's a hyphen missing?

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Canoe couple's assets are frozen

I'm not surprised, sitting in a canoe all that time...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
Woman left brain damaged by detox

a) she inherited it?

b) she abandoned it?

c) there's a hyphen missing?

Nice to know her right brain is still functioning...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Primates 'face extinction crisis'

Report on Lambeth?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Sleep action urged after death

Isn't that a bit late? [Confused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Now you see it, now you don't... invisibility cloa...

(not sure if that one was deliberate or not)

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Running 'can slow ageing process'

If you're fast enough, age might not catch up with you... [Big Grin]

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged



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