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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
French head to begin Syria visit.
Spanish torso due next week, to be followed by Irish limbs in October.
[ooh, 500th post to mark 3rd anniversary of thread ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) ]
[ 03. September 2008, 14:57: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Palin takes battle to Democrats
That Michael Palin gets everywhere... ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Blair denies he is to be ousted
Well, I thought he'd gone long ago? - Oh, it's the Met Blair... ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Rice talks with Libya's Gaddafi
That's good, perhaps these talks will bring down the price of rice.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Mansion fire man's mother's shock
Tonguetwister. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Medic suspended over celery
No! No! Please - not the Vegetable Patch !!
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Stroke patients to test sensors
I don't think stroking patients is allowed, is it?
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799
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Posted
I'm new to this thread. Looks fun. Be gentle with me darling.
Weir storms to second Games gold
Er. I'm lost already. The typhoons have affected the drains. I guess they might. But who's the proposer?
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We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)
Posts: 1300 | From: Leicester (UK) | Registered: Jun 2008
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Tony Blair begins lecturing role
Nothing new there then. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Aso picked to become new Japan PM
(couldn't resist this one) Ah so!
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
China spacecraft returns to Earth
Excuse double post, but it was never a good idea to make a spaceship out of china...
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Tories' apprentice to degree plan
Meanwhile, Labour's journeyman to PhD aspires.
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Rich Flanders seeks more autonomy
Doubtless the first thing to do will be to move into a new house, further away from Homer Simpson.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Petrified
Ship’s ballast
# 10667
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Posted
Delayed mummy money will finally be paid out in Italy
Family allowance or maternity pay?
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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"
Posts: 540 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Virgin to join climate experiment ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Sick leave 'link to early death'
So people who get sick more, die earlier. D'uh!
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Indeed! One might also wonder where the sick leave that link. Do they hide it in a cupboard, with some of the skeletons? And could it be found and made inoffensive? Eerie! ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Russian withdrawal 'not complete'
Oh dear. I see on the horizon a little doll inside another little doll...
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Grammars pressed over poor pupils
Who threaten to make their own, less elaborate rules. Pupils tend to. Nothing new there.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Curiosity finds untouched 1960s shop
I always thought shipmate Curiosity lived up to the name, and am thus not surprised.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Not the headline but the short lead para.
A school head teacher has denied 19 charges of sexual touching during a brief appearance at Swansea Crown Court.
A singularly inappropriate place, I would have thought.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Kebabs made as corpse lay nearby
Police intervened just in time before it was cut up and used for kebabs.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Bottom slap teacher must retrain
He wasn't aiming right.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Not exactly in the spirit of the thing, but too good to miss...
Legal case against God dismissed
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799
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Posted
Spanish airline suspends flights
Maybe it's a way to save fuel. But what is there to suspend them from?
[ 17. October 2008, 14:33: Message edited by: philip99a ]
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We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)
Posts: 1300 | From: Leicester (UK) | Registered: Jun 2008
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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799
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Posted
Family tied up in house robbery
Surely they've got a bit of spare time on Thursday afternoon?
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We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)
Posts: 1300 | From: Leicester (UK) | Registered: Jun 2008
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
no double meaning, just directly funny. from today's Anchorage Daily News:
Spork assault nets man prison
beware the sporks!
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Boys trail girls from five
I always knew they were unbridled beasts.....
(later editions changed 'trail' to 'lag' - although I'm not sure it makes it any better: reception teachers had better keep the duct tape under lock and key!)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Talks over opera at city theatre
"If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation." ~ Oscar Wilde
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Zeppelin to go back on the road
Airship inventors renounce airworthiness, resort to conservative methods of transport
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Smith attacked over 42-day speech
Surprising that anyone had the energy after listening that long.
[ 28. October 2008, 19:23: Message edited by: Jahlove ]
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Zambian candidate claims rigging
Kenyan candidate claims bowsprit
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
On the BBC Radio 4 website, you can currently 'Listen Again' (!) to
Armistice Day Silence
The sound of silence!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Student places freeze 'anxiety'
I'm glad they can now stop anxiety by freezing it, albeit at the expense of our aspiring youth.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Von Bingen
Shipmate
# 13902
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Posted
Not quite a headline or RSS feed, but on the BBC news rolling banner yesterday we had:
"WW1 veterans laid reefs at Cenotaph"
Ouch!
Posts: 247 | From: London | Registered: Jul 2008
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Songbirds 'sing from hymn sheet'
Everyone else looks at the OHP screen.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Not the BBC, but rather AP -- or more precisely, how a local radio station was able to mangle the AP feed this morning:
"The number of newly laid-off individuals seeking unemployment benefits has jumped to a level not seen since 2001, just after the September 11 terrorist attacks, in October."
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Another classic:
France holds 'Eta military head'
While Spain holds 'Eta pacific arm'.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
From the Ekklesia think tank bulletin:
Half of all full-time C of E clergy may be women in ten years time
That's an awful lot of sex changes, even over ten years!
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
And furthermore:
Prostitute users face clampdown
Surely this is a rather extreme form of S & M?
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Another classic:
France holds 'Eta military head'
While Spain holds 'Eta pacific arm'.
Would make a film title:
"Bring Me The Head of ETA's Military Wing".
(ISIHAC fans will understand)
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Esmeralda:
From the Ekklesia think tank bulletin:
Half of all full-time C of E clergy may be women in ten years time
That's an awful lot of sex changes, even over ten years!
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Darling 'cannot avoid tax rises'
so - sorry, Sweetheart, but the ski-ing holiday's off this year.
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Sea eagles could be reintroduced
Ms Sea Eagle, this is Mr Sea Eagle - I think you've met before...
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Qoheleth.
Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265
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Posted
Airline seats slashed by 236,000
Sorry, girls. There's an awful lot of mending to do tonight....
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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.
Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
EU condemned on tuna 'mockery'
It really is unkind to poke fun at tuna.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Beatles iTunes deal is stalled
Baby, You Can't Drive My Car
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Supermarkets 'to halve bags used'
Won't your shopping just fall out then?? Not sure this has been thought through properly!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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