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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Latin America tops murder tables

I neither knew that the humble spinning top was so lethally inclined, nor that tables could be such hapless victims.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Georgian row over origins of war

I think they'll find it started somewhere in Genesis.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Mother misses 11th truant hearing

C'mon, you're surprised aren't you.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Clue to break-up of ice shelves

Smash chives else poles warm

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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More elderly 'could die of cold'

If only they put some effort into it. [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Jury hears Boy George police tape

Is he saying his arrest was a Sting?

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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[Overused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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A vintage one from WWI that I was reminded of today:

8th Army push bottles up Germans. [Eek!]

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Education reforms set in train

An education train set? Sounds fun! [Smile]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Women over 55 'invisible on TV'

Have you tried adapting the settings? Or RTFM?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Women over 55 'invisible on TV'

Have you tried adapting the settings? Or RTFM?

Might want to move them too. Invisible or not they'll break that TV!

--------------------
A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Festive bus strike gets under way

Omnes:
"We wish you a merry bus strike
We wish you a merry bus strike
We wish you a merry bus strike
And a long cold walk home".

(from Aberdeen)

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Irish Republic recalls all pork

Aye, Seamus, that black pud was a real feast, wasn't it - and that boiled beacon... delicious! - Yes, yes, I remember it well...!

[ 07. December 2008, 15:38: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Pregnant women 'can eat peanuts'

Yes, they can! I've seen some do just that!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Lowly Worm

Ship's Annelid
# 11663

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From the "No-shit Sherlock files:"

Keeping weight off key to obesity fight

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"Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Aborigines win battle over mine

'It's mine, I tell you!' 'No no, it's mine!'

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Thiamine 'reverses kidney damage' and Thousands join pro-Thaksin rally

More news from Thai government struggle, with Thiamine obviously attempting to cut binge-drinking.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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Ukraine warns EU of gas 'problem'

I've heard that about you folks over there. I blame all the chocolate.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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BBC's education section:

School tables must be rushed out

Chaos in the playground no doubt.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Iceland buys 51 Woolworths stores

Expect the high streets to be inundated with the smell of freshly caught herring (but I thought their banks were all bust...?)

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Snag hits Russia-Ukraine gas deal

Man bites dog.

--------------------
Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Tories 'would wipe slate clean'

Especially as they haven't got round to using computers yet.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Church gives birth to baby boy

Hope it wasn't a Caesarean: they would have had to take the roof off.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Prince's apology genuine, says PM

Apologising for lascivious behaviour on stage, while performing 'Kiss'? And good to know that the PM's interested in arts - who'd have thunk. [Cool]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Not strictly on topic here, but I thought the following line from this article, in its combination of BBC gravitas and farce, was just too priceless not to be consigned to posterity:

quote:
Czech Deputy Prime Minister Alexandr Vondra apologised directly to Bulgaria, which has formally complained over its depiction as a toilet in the art work.
I'd love to hear Brian Perkins read that.

--------------------
Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Police crack China baby sale gang

Clumsy oafs - it's china, they should have known it was fragile!

AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Bush backs record in final speech

And when he heard it backwards, it played 'Satan rules'.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Also from America, and rather a press cutting than a headline (as in BBC Radio 4's 'Newsquiz') - but I hope this may be permitted:

Capt Sullenberger looked up and in an instant his windscreen was filled with big, dark-brown birds.

"His instinct was to duck," said NTSB board member Kitty Higgins, [...]."


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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mother guilty over smoking boy, 3

I don't think that smoking a boy (or a girl, for that matter) is very good for you. And surely he will complain?

[ 22. January 2009, 17:17: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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Washington Is Confident It Can Forge Recovery Plan From the NYT

I would have thought that Washington was one of the places in America to write a real plan for recovery instead of having to forge it!

--------------------
A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Alcohol-related deaths 'falling'

They drink, they stumble and fall and are no more. [Waterworks]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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rabcpresbyterian
Shipmate
# 12060

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Not BBC RSS but from the (Glasgow) Herald :-

Scottish output tumble deeper

That's just four random words. What on earth does this mean ?

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Any man's death diminishes me, for I am part of mankinde - John Donne

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Mammoth-killing comet questioned

She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:
Mammoth-killing comet questioned

She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues

And, what language do you try, when questioning a comet?

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by rabcpresbyterian:
Not BBC RSS but from the (Glasgow) Herald :-

Scottish output tumble deeper

That's just four random words. What on earth does this mean ?

If you were Rab C Nesbitt instead, you would be able to tell us.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Tigers say civilians will remain

Big Cats take the Pledge

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Warning over new form of C.diff

Read that as 'Cardiff'... [Paranoid]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799

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Nine hurt as roof ripped from bus

Well if you go round ripping the tops off buses, you must expect the odd cut finger. Wear proper safety gear next time.

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We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)

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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799

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Not a BBC RSS headline but one from today's D Telegraph website:

'My wedding dress slipped right off'

Er.... isn't that what it was supposed to do? [Hot and Hormonal]


(In fact turned out to be an article about the writer's anorexia)

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We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:
Mammoth-killing comet questioned

She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues

rawr.

check out my fullass freezer! [Big Grin]

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Warning over new form of C.diff

Read that as 'Cardiff'... [Paranoid]

It is. They have removed the 'ar' to discourage pirates.

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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They don't need to - they already have the 'other' Captain Jack there ... [Biased]

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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M&S fined £20,000 over lost toe

This isn't just foot ...

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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FA wants answers over missed goal

"Why did you miss? You were standing less than a foot away! You are a disgrace for our sport! Go away!"

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Police accused over race equality

Hm...? By BNP? [Paranoid]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Son talks of father mystery


John 10:30 - Read All About It!

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Jaguar seals 'significant' order

Elephant seals practically laymen by comparison.

--------------------
Ann

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mars had 'recent' running water

Didn't pay the bills. Got it turned off.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Japanese stocks skirt 26-year low

He's hoping for a renewed interest in very low hemlines.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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UK needs right touch - Mandelson

I'm sure it does, but I bet it won't get it from Mandy.

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged



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