Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Latin America tops murder tables
I neither knew that the humble spinning top was so lethally inclined, nor that tables could be such hapless victims.
-------------------- Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Esmeralda
 Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Georgian row over origins of war
I think they'll find it started somewhere in Genesis.
-------------------- I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Clue to break-up of ice shelves
Smash chives else poles warm
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
More elderly 'could die of cold'
If only they put some effort into it. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Jury hears Boy George police tape
Is he saying his arrest was a Sting?
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
 Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
A vintage one from WWI that I was reminded of today:
8th Army push bottles up Germans. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
-------------------- I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Education reforms set in train
An education train set? Sounds fun! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Women over 55 'invisible on TV'
Have you tried adapting the settings? Or RTFM?
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Festive bus strike gets under way
Omnes: "We wish you a merry bus strike We wish you a merry bus strike We wish you a merry bus strike And a long cold walk home".
(from Aberdeen)
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Irish Republic recalls all pork
Aye, Seamus, that black pud was a real feast, wasn't it - and that boiled beacon... delicious! - Yes, yes, I remember it well...! [ 07. December 2008, 15:38: Message edited by: Wesley J ]
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Pregnant women 'can eat peanuts'
Yes, they can! I've seen some do just that!
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Lowly Worm
 Ship's Annelid
# 11663
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Posted
From the "No-shit Sherlock files:"
Keeping weight off key to obesity fight
-------------------- "Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader
Posts: 654 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Esmeralda
 Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Aborigines win battle over mine
'It's mine, I tell you!' 'No no, it's mine!'
-------------------- I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Thiamine 'reverses kidney damage' and Thousands join pro-Thaksin rally
More news from Thai government struggle, with Thiamine obviously attempting to cut binge-drinking.
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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comet
 Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Ukraine warns EU of gas 'problem'
I've heard that about you folks over there. I blame all the chocolate.
-------------------- Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
BBC's education section:
School tables must be rushed out
Chaos in the playground no doubt.
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Iceland buys 51 Woolworths stores
Expect the high streets to be inundated with the smell of freshly caught herring (but I thought their banks were all bust...?)
-------------------- Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Snag hits Russia-Ukraine gas deal
Man bites dog.
-------------------- Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Tories 'would wipe slate clean'
Especially as they haven't got round to using computers yet.
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Prince's apology genuine, says PM
Apologising for lascivious behaviour on stage, while performing 'Kiss'? And good to know that the PM's interested in arts - who'd have thunk. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Not strictly on topic here, but I thought the following line from this article, in its combination of BBC gravitas and farce, was just too priceless not to be consigned to posterity:
quote: Czech Deputy Prime Minister Alexandr Vondra apologised directly to Bulgaria, which has formally complained over its depiction as a toilet in the art work.
I'd love to hear Brian Perkins read that.
-------------------- Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Police crack China baby sale gang
Clumsy oafs - it's china, they should have known it was fragile!
AG
-------------------- "It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Esmeralda
 Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Bush backs record in final speech
And when he heard it backwards, it played 'Satan rules'.
-------------------- I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Also from America, and rather a press cutting than a headline (as in BBC Radio 4's 'Newsquiz') - but I hope this may be permitted:
Capt Sullenberger looked up and in an instant his windscreen was filled with big, dark-brown birds.
"His instinct was to duck," said NTSB board member Kitty Higgins, [...]."
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Mother guilty over smoking boy, 3
I don't think that smoking a boy (or a girl, for that matter) is very good for you. And surely he will complain? [ 22. January 2009, 17:17: Message edited by: Wesley J ]
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Alcohol-related deaths 'falling'
They drink, they stumble and fall and are no more. ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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rabcpresbyterian
Shipmate
# 12060
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Posted
Not BBC RSS but from the (Glasgow) Herald :-
Scottish output tumble deeper
That's just four random words. What on earth does this mean ?
-------------------- Any man's death diminishes me, for I am part of mankinde - John Donne
Posts: 894 | From: here be dragons | Registered: Nov 2006
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Mammoth-killing comet questioned
She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jahlove: Mammoth-killing comet questioned
She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues
And, what language do you try, when questioning a comet?
-------------------- Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by rabcpresbyterian: Not BBC RSS but from the (Glasgow) Herald :-
Scottish output tumble deeper
That's just four random words. What on earth does this mean ?
If you were Rab C Nesbitt instead, you would be able to tell us.
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Tigers say civilians will remain
Big Cats take the Pledge
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Warning over new form of C.diff
Read that as 'Cardiff'... ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799
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Posted
Nine hurt as roof ripped from bus
Well if you go round ripping the tops off buses, you must expect the odd cut finger. Wear proper safety gear next time.
-------------------- We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)
Posts: 1300 | From: Leicester (UK) | Registered: Jun 2008
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philip99a
Shipmate
# 13799
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Posted
Not a BBC RSS headline but one from today's D Telegraph website:
'My wedding dress slipped right off'
Er.... isn't that what it was supposed to do?
(In fact turned out to be an article about the writer's anorexia)
-------------------- We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time T. S. Elliot (Four Quartets)
Posts: 1300 | From: Leicester (UK) | Registered: Jun 2008
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comet
 Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jahlove: Mammoth-killing comet questioned
She'd have got away with it without those pesky DNA residues
rawr.
check out my fullass freezer! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
-------------------- Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Wesley J: Warning over new form of C.diff
Read that as 'Cardiff'...
It is. They have removed the 'ar' to discourage pirates.
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Gill H
 Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
They don't need to - they already have the 'other' Captain Jack there ... ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
M&S fined £20,000 over lost toe
This isn't just foot ...
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
FA wants answers over missed goal
"Why did you miss? You were standing less than a foot away! You are a disgrace for our sport! Go away!"
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Police accused over race equality
Hm...? By BNP? ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
Son talks of father mystery
John 10:30 - Read All About It!
-------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Ann
 Curious
# 94
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Posted
Jaguar seals 'significant' order
Elephant seals practically laymen by comparison.
-------------------- Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Mars had 'recent' running water
Didn't pay the bills. Got it turned off.
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
 Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Japanese stocks skirt 26-year low
He's hoping for a renewed interest in very low hemlines.
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
UK needs right touch - Mandelson
I'm sure it does, but I bet it won't get it from Mandy.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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