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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Swiss 'gigolo' admits blackmail

Only way for alpine men to find love? [Killing me]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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People with quick reactions likely to live longer

And the Pope's a Catholic.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mandelson says car help too slow

The AA not good enough for 'Lord' Mandy?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Germany gunman 'had depression'

Well, that problem's been solved now, thank God... [Roll Eyes]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Germany gunman 'had depression'

Well, that problem's been solved now, thank God... [Roll Eyes]

And once again people are given the impression that all people with mental illness are axe-wielding maniacs... [Mad]

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Famous consecutive BBC headlines:

What next for Pakistan?
Sex change
[Eek!]

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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No talks on Falklands, says Brown

The Silent Island.

[ 29. March 2009, 07:15: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Button seals dream Australia win


Victory all zipped up.

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Deaf call for better phone access

Sorry? What was that?

Stem cell 'deafness cure' closer

Ah! Deaf cell phones! - I said, deaf cell phones!'

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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Knightley in violent charity ad

"Give from the heart or we'll cut it out!"

--------------------
"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Foreign detainees 'have US right'

I was wondering where the US right had gone now Obama's in power... Turns out the foreign detainees had it all along.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Obama seeks stronger Turkish ties

And more stylish Italian shirts.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Spray for 'six times longer' sex

Sorry ladies, it's about duration.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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US navy bears down on pirate boat

I think it's very wise of them to use bears - that'll make the pirates freak out!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
US navy bears down on pirate boat

I think it's very wise of them to use bears - that'll make the pirates freak out!

I'd have thought seals would be more use than bears.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Russia 'will buy Israeli drones'

So that's where all the bees are disappearing to!

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Thieving dwarves cause supernovae

That Gimli, I never trusted him...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Obama invites Middle East heads (BBC News)

Saudi woman beheaded for fatally shooting husband (AP News)

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bra boss withdraws Labour support

Nice one from BBC News! [Killing me]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Facebook users say yes to changes

Nothing funny about the headline, I just can't believe it! It's never happened before...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Winehouse collapses in St Lucia

Another construction failure. Tropical hurricane?

--------------------
Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Pupils ill after bulb put in soup


All they wanted was a light snack

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:

Pupils ill after bulb put in soup


All they wanted was a light snack

Now that wasn't very bright, was it?

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Rodgers confirms split with Queen

Another John Brown? We need to know! And what will Philip say to all this? [Ultra confused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Head 'intimately examined pupil'

It's advisable to regularly check your eyes. You might use your hands though, too.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg - Speaker 'dragging his feet on transparency'

Mightily messing up the House's OHP.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Wiping data 'hits flu prediction'

Wiping nose too.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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Tumour make-up 'fuels depression'

I told Max Factor that selling make-up for tumours was a bad business decision...

--------------------
"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Airbus advice to pilots on speed

"Don't fly when on drugs."

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Floating wind turbine launched

At last, they've harnessed my husband's farts!

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Paedophile 'slipped under radar'

Careless perverted dwarf cyclist?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Lady Thatcher 'in good spirits'

What? They've pickled her?

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Peru moves to ease Amazon crisis

They've moved Peru? Where is it now?

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Call for swift 'party drug' ban


in the meantime, don't swallow

--------------------
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Legless frogs mystery solved

French cuisine.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Turkey to 'never give up' EU bid

So they've been rickrolled, too! - "Never gonna give it up / never gonna let it down"

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Ok, it's silly season apparently, so here we go again:

Iran 'frees five' from UK embassy

From: Blyton, E., Five on a Secret Mission (to find the Fission)

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909

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Teen pregnancy project ditched

Apparently they don't need any help.

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Which goes nicely with:

Scientists claim sperm 'first'

Premature ejaculation?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Google to launch operating system

It's the new NHS strategy for expensive surgery...

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Haddock in court over 1997 murder.

Will A.P. Herbert's hero conduct his own defence this time? I think not.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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EU to train Somali piracy force

We care about the quality of our pirates!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Giant pudding starts town regatta

And Blancmange starts Wimbledon.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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'Ransom demand' for missing ship - Tough love and the Floating Fund

--------------------
Ann

Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Turnaround 'will not be simple'

Before you can do that you have to put your left foot in, your left foot out....

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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China admits death row organ use

It was an atrocious postlude! Only vaguely resembled the Widor Toccata. So many wrong notes, the condemned will be glad to die. And those screaming mixtures....

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Students warned on flat ad scams

Beware: They're only good if they're 3D!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Maths 'no better than in 1970s'

Yup - it was hell then, it's still hell now.

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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Inquiry call over Sunday services

8 o'clock once a month won't do, rage villagers.

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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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We'll have to cut costs - Darling

Start of a thousand marital conversations...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

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