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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Israel disciplines top officers on white phosphorus

They're topping officers now? And do they use the disciplines to do it, or the white phosphorus?

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Esmeralda

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# 582

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Shackleton's whisky recovered from South Pole ice

Nothing odd or ambiguous about this headline, I just wanted to say 'On the rocks?'!

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mobility scooter river fall death

BBC News headline verb usage lack

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Residents to grill council leader

BBQ season's early this year

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Ann

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rajm
Shipmate
# 5434

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Bit late now - the Winter Olympics are over:

Canada looks to cement medal lead

I think lead comes after bronze and before cement?

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Four in court over expense claims

The Enid Blyton saga updated and continued.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mobile application sales explode

Let's hope nobody gets hurt! [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Man assaulted officer with penis

That would be a male officer then.

Osborne calls for 'fire in belly'

Shadow chancellor discloses Tory welfare plans

[edited to add send line]

[ 17. March 2010, 12:36: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Not an RSS feed, but general news:

A ransom of £110,000 was paid to free the five-year-old from Oldham.

My god, is Oldham really that bad?

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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In similar vein a classic from the Oxford Mail website - no doubt someone has their eyes on a pullet surprise:

Square shape set to change

AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

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Esmeralda

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# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Not an RSS feed, but general news:

A ransom of £110,000 was paid to free the five-year-old from Oldham.

My god, is Oldham really that bad?

[Killing me]

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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marsupial.
Shipmate
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Somewhat startling headline in today's Globe and Mail:

Anglicans accept Pope's invitation to join Catholic church

(referring, it turns out, to the 2000-member-strong "Anglican Catholic Church of Canada")

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Pirates gather for world record bid

And the Digital Rights Management people will be after them.

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Ann

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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From BBC News Yorkshire, and with a little bend(y-bus):

quote:
The decision means commuters in Leeds could be travelling into the city centre on a network of electrically-powered buses within six years.
Wouldn't it be considerably quicker if people simply walked there? Those buses seem awfully slow! Is it due to the wrong kind of pollen on the overhead lines?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Since Wesley has bent the rules, I can bend them too for once:

If Israel is implicated in the murder of Mr al-Mabhouh, it won't be the first time.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Neither BBC, nor a headline, but just look at the journalist's name...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7065824.ece

AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Pupil voice 'being manipulated'

Teachers use new electronic gadgets to humilate recalcitrant kids. [Snigger]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Ok, this one fooled me:

Jordan fooled by 1 April 'aliens'

I quite naturally thought this was about Jordan-the-glamour-model. Wouldn't have been a surprise really. [Big Grin]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Not the BBC, but the Associated Press:

3 charged in Mass. bullying to skip arraignment

Skipping the greeting of pewmates at the beginning of mass I can see, or skipping the holding of hands during the Lord's Prayer -- but skipping the arraignment? Unthinkable!

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Just in:

BREAKING NEWS: The Duchess of Cornwall has broken her left leg while hillwalking in Scotland

Quite.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Ice mission turns on instrument

So the mission makes the instrument hot? Or the mission depends on the successful operation of the instrument? Or the mission has finally switched the damned thing on?

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Ice mission turns on instrument

So the mission makes the instrument hot? Or the mission depends on the successful operation of the instrument? Or the mission has finally switched the damned thing on?

Maybe the ice mission has heard too much of the instrument and attacked it. I have felt like that about bagpipes and banjos.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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'Neglect' boy council criticised

Only elect grown-ups then.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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From the "No Shit Sherlock" files.

Sun activity link to cold winters

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Firm fined over recycling death

For when you feel like death warmed over.

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Ann

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Stranger murderer jailed for life

While less strange murderer gets 5 years.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Boycott threatens Sats test chaos

Not by hard hitting or fast scoring though.

(note: cricket reference to one Geoffrey Boycott was a famously resolute batsman)

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Nolan sister gets breast cancer

'Gets'? As in, 'It's a gift, here you go!' [Roll Eyes]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Nolan sister gets breast cancer

'Gets'? As in, 'It's a gift, here you go!' [Roll Eyes]

No, it means she's just understood the point of it. Seriously, wishing her well...

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Prostitute users face clampdown

- but some of them will like it.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Greece fears batter markets again

Have you seen a batter market? They are terrifying! All that material for pancakes, Yorkshire pudding and Toad in the Hole [Eek!]

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bullock adopts child and divorces

It's a bovine life.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Lorry Fires Dirsupts M1 traffic

Surely that should be "Lorry fires dirsupt M1 traffic"?

(Seriously, what are they on? Screenshot here in case they change it).

[ 01. May 2010, 20:54: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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New York police defuse 'car bomb'

It turns out to be an alarm clock lying on a bag of hot dogs.

(Interestingly-written story. The first couple of paragraphs are written to make it sound like the reporter doesn't believe it really happened -- the police say this, and claim that. Or that evidence will be presented in later paragraphs that it didn't really happen. But then it never does, and later paragraphs are written matter-of-factly without the fudging. Odd.)

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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mousethief

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# 953

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Disabled rail cash cut criticised

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Test hope in painful bone disease

I suppose that's a good way to test it.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Two submarines sailed with a safety defect that posed a radioactive leak risk, says a leaked memo

Once a leak, always a leak.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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VE Day 65th anniversary: Prince leads tributes

With a K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-kiss. Party like it's nineteen forty-five!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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mousethief

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# 953

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Net approaches addressing limit

Those onramps / slip roads to the information superhighway are doing a fine job fixing that limit.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Foreign Office says the British Embassy will close on Friday due to the ongoing security situation

But which embassy? All of them?

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Heavy rock singer Dio dies at 67

Not clear. What's 67? His address? A club? A, ehem, sauna of some kind? And did he die because he was heavy? Was he a friend of Obese Osbourne?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Australia expels Israeli diplomat

It's amazing what colonic irrigation can do.

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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On BBC Website

Greek probe over missing kidney

To follow: Where have the lamb chops and stuffed vine leaves gone?

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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I know this is sordid subject matter, but the headline was just too wrong to escape this thread:

Bradford murders accused in court

(I see they've finally fixed the "dirsupts" in my last post, but I have the screenshot to prove it [Devil] )

[ 28. May 2010, 15:16: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Trains suspended over India crash

The sword of Damocles...

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Ex-Spice Girls boss eyes Idol bid

I idolize those eyes.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Ex-Spice Girls boss eyes Idol bid

I idolize those eyes.

Surely this means that ex-Spice Girls are boss-eyed?

--------------------
I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bilingual brain affects research

So, don't ya dare and speak more than language, or we'll kick you out of uni?

* * * * * * *

In fact, the report is from January 2010, entitled 'Research to find effects on brain of bilingualism', but is shown now in the 'most shared' list. - Some people need to learn the difference between 'affect' and 'effect'. Especially those on the BBC News site. Who appear to speak fewer than one language. [Disappointed]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Laws could be back - Duncan Smith

New Tory 'self-regulating society' policy to be scrapped?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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US base killings suspect in court

They were going to base him at Fort Meyers but the court had better facilities.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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