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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Shrek beats Sex and the City film
I've heard women say that chocolate beats sex, but Shrek? And what's "the City film"?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
PM to see Cumbria shooting police
See you get it done right, lads. No police left standing.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Murdered Polish priest beatified before thousands
Couldn't he've waited until the thousands were beatified? Not a sign of spititual humility, eh, murdered or not.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Why Beijing is treading carefully on North Korea
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From Yahoo News:
Fox launches "extremely rare" attack on babies
US right-wing channel claims being nice to babies, normally
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
From Yahoo News:
Fox launches "extremely rare" attack on babies
US right-wing channel claims being nice to babies, normally
"What, Never??"
"Well, hardly ever !"
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Head of MPs' expenses body vows to be more flexible
Try yoga?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
MSP quits over 'attractive girl'
Quite so. We can't have good looking people anywhere near politics.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From SkyNews:
Naked Bike Riders Strip Off To Stop Traffic
Ok - they're naked. There's nothing more to strip off, eh! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Whaling deal splits crucial meet
Huh?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Obama 'angry' over general claims
However quite happy about some of the more specific ones.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
And now the UK's being involved too:
President Obama tells David Cameron he will "consult closely" with him amid US general row
USA renewing the British art of queueing?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
"Body part" scare on motorway proves to be 'armless
Oh dear - now the Beeb have gone utterly punny too. Not that I mind though. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
fest
I somehow think the rest got truncated.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Delhi study suggests women unsafe
As many a man can attest...
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
From the torygraph:
Man who had sex with bike in court
The bailiff couldn't move fast enough.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Syringes beat spoons for children
Intravenous food from now on? Sit still so I can inject your pudding? Which you'll only get after you've had that peas jab!
Or a new children's game, syringes beat spoons? Or a report from 10th league football, and a charity match?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I have this vision of a syringe wailing on a spoon and saying to a nearby child, "I'm doing this for you."
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Pure bliss:
Capello to add new English coach
Wantsa tella off 'is players in a language theya understand, innita ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Today's gem: "Rioters in Grenoble fire shots after police shoot dead man accused of robbing casino".
What's the point of shooting a dead man? And why was the corpse robbing a casino? Inquiring minds need to know.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
In the "ignorance is bliss" catagory, I have this on my New York Times feed:
With Well Shut for 2 Days, BP Sees No Signs of Damage
other than a few million gallons of goo, everyhting looks lovely!
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Not the BBC, but the Ship's own home page:
Born today in 1844: Rev. William Archibald Spooner. He was greatly blessed in his lurking wife about 12 hours ago.
Why did she wait until 12 hours ago to bless him? Surely they would both have enjoyed it much more when they were both still alive.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Speed camera cuts 'mean disaster'
Only generous, open-minded disasters will get through.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Campbell given 'Dirty Stones'
- which could be any of them except Charlie Watts.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
BP cements damaged Gulf oil well
I'm glad they're doing at least one thing well. But why can't they repair the poor oil? Cementing it seems rather rude.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Germany to pay for Afghan victims
Sigh. Remember the good old days when you could get them for free?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Front page, above the fold, of today's Anchorage Daily News:
DNA Charged in 2000 Assault
I suppose we're skipping the middle man and going straight for the genetics quesion.
Who the hell are they hiring to write headlines these days?
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
You know, no matter how I look at that headline, comet, I can't make it make sense.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Well, apparently they don't have a name of a suspect, but they have a DNA profile from the rape kit. It was only clear after reading at least 4-5 column inches worth.
I know, the headline is completely bizarre.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Court delays 'damaging children'
But once the stay is lifted, they can be beaten again as per usual.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Police chase man killed by train
I'm pretty sure the previous headline for this story read
Train kills man after chase
too.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
It surely must be the same one, but there's currently a 'Train kills boy, 16, after chase'
Maybe if we keep watching they come up with one that works... maybe not.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
That was it. It now reads
Train kills man after police chase which is surely little better? ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Taxi driver arrested after death
#you can't outrun the long arm of the law#
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Sensational headline just heard on BBC Radio 4:
Mrs Cameron [UK conservative PM's wife] went into Labour
Finally coming to reason! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
House group nears administration
I thought there might be a decline in 'new-church' type practices, but I had no idea it was that serious...
(and happy belated fifth birthday to this thread ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) )
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
![[Smile]](smile.gif) Euty
* * * * * * * *
Second site shut by outbreak team
Ok, if I hadn't clicked on that link, I wouldn't have the slightest what they're on about. Yet another nonsensical feed/headline.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
The latest Enid Blyton:
Five questioned over gems raids
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Cannibal star consumes neighbour
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) Turns out it's not in the Entertainment, but the Science section... phew!
Tiny cow becomes a record-breaker
Proverbial mini bull in record shop, breaking... well, 45rpm's?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Five held over Pope terror alert
Enid Blyton updated and gone bad. I mean, really bad.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Anti-social behaviour cuts fear
So it's obviously a positive thing to indulge in.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
France protest numbers in dispute
I had to read this three times, mentally correcting and uncorrecting the grammar, before I got it.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Doctors' body opposes NHS revamp
Doctors' soul has yet to make up its mind.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
France protest numbers in dispute
I had to read this three times, mentally correcting and uncorrecting the grammar, before I got it.
Do they want to take that book out of the Bible, or what?
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Head held in India school suicide
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Men sought after train attack in football fan (from The Independant)
A wee liddle train up his bum??
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Light drinking "no risk to baby"
just don't let your little one polisk off that whole bottle of Merlot
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
Troops to get more stress support
Free trusses from the Ministry of Defence?
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
'Mobiles for millions of women'
I'm sure they're really nice to look at when they do their housework and play with the kids.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
NHS errors 'should not occur'
errors in other organisations are fine, though.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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