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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
joan knox

Knoxy is my homeboy
# 16100

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Knox 'was not near murder scene'

He was busy singing psalms to Mary Queen of Scots

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Jesus saves, Allah protects, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Right now on BBC News front page:

Cable reaches Japan atomic site

Which makes me wonder how Her Majesty's Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills can possibly help.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Perhaps it means they will be able to watch The Shopping Channel from now on.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Or: To prove that they're still there, LibDems go to extraordinary lengths?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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matthew_dixon
Shipmate
# 12278

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On the BBC news website at the moment, there's a very sad but rather badly titled report...

UK soldier killed by bomb named

It just reads as though it's unfinished. Just what WAS the bomb named?

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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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See my first interpretation was that the poor person killed by the bomb had finally acquired a name. Perhaps his parents had forgotten to name him earlier.

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by matthew_dixon:
UK soldier killed by bomb named

It just reads as though it's unfinished. Just what WAS the bomb named?

Sue?

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Burglary suspect falls down well

So many fall down badly - good to see the bar being raised.

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Gaddafi may seek revenge, warns Ken Clarke

Not funny, but proof that we need a 'No Shit, Sherlock' thread.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Girl winds word pooh sticks event

RSS headline editor wins bad proofreading award for not correcting wrong worlds.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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joan knox

Knoxy is my homeboy
# 16100

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Elephant cruelty inquiry begins

If you thought humans were mean, lemme tell ya, elephants are brutal, man, just brutal.

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Jesus saves, Allah protects, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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China's power fans fear, poll finds

Doesn't say what they fear though.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Vandals attack Jeremy Clarkson's fence


So Jezza will have to find some other way to offload the ringers innit.

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Japan plugs reactor leak into sea

Somebody hasn't thought this all the way through.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Now "amended" to

Japan reactor 'stops' ocean leak

That was clever of it [brick wall]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Swedish queen hurt evading press

Why did she do that? The press were already running away. [Biased]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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Probation for loofah attack woman

Any person who would attack a defenseless sponge...

or, was the sponge hitting back, after a history of abuse?

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Top fees 'at half universities'


Shouldn't you get 50% off?

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:
Top fees 'at half universities'


Shouldn't you get 50% off?

I thought 'half universities' might refer to the former polytechnics and rebranded higher education colleges. [Razz]

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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India hunger striker to end fast

I suppose that has the merit of being true whatever he does... [Two face]

[ 11. April 2011, 21:10: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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SkyNews has nominalisation gone mad:

Gaddafi Exit Call Sparks Regime Change Claim

[Help] [Ultra confused] [Disappointed]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Thomas hits out at wayward stars


The Fat Controller advances his plans for galactic domination

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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New census shows China is ageing

Legislation to halt the progression of time was ineffective.

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Mugabe in Rome for beatification

I'm just hoping this is a deliberate attempt to be misleading [Paranoid]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Taliban declare spring offensive


Talibania - where it's always winter

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Buffett admits 'mistake' on Sokol


tsk - quite - what do they teach 'em in Skool these days?

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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LIVE: Osama Bin Laden dead [Roll Eyes]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Ferrari eye 'important' progress

An ocular device with go-faster stripes?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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ICC Seeks Libya Arrest Warrants

Cricket's governing body gets something right at last.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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7 July victims unlawfully killed

Hear, hear. [Roll Eyes] [Votive]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Sex and coffee 'trigger stroke'


This Trigger Stroke (#451) is suitable for intermediate -advanced
Kama Sutra practitioners only.

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Man shot in the head is critical

I'd be quite harsh too

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
joan knox

Knoxy is my homeboy
# 16100

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Scherzinger and Jones to host US X Factor

Nooooo, Aled, don't leave us... who'll present GMS??

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Jesus saves, Allah protects, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich

Posts: 906 | From: edinburgh | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged
Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Met Police to help Madeleine hunt


"Merci beaucoup", a déclaré M. Proust

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Beheaded UK woman named by family

Apologies for gruesomeness, but isn't that a little late to be choosing a moniker?

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
Beheaded UK woman named by family

Apologies for gruesomeness, but isn't that a little late to be choosing a moniker?

Possibly went for two names: one for the head and one for the body? Real cutting edge, this.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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'Pope terror plot' men in clear

Nobody expected this of the Spanish Inquisition!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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China farmers face 'exploding' watermelon problem

Actually, they're just splitting open, which isn't too unusual. I had envisioned something more like
This kind of action.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Man tries to take pony on a train

Probably just an enlightened Frenchman who's come to know the buffet car sandwiches.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
matthew_dixon
Shipmate
# 12278

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I felt really let down by the BBC News Website today, as I thought that someone in parliament had finally brought the conflict in the Middle East up and was fighting for a fair solution.

Alas MP demands Jerusalem 'equality' is actually a news story about hymns at church weddings, secular weddings and civil partnerships!

Posts: 321 | From: Cardiff | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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This one from the unredoubtable CNN:

Stink bug spread worries growers across nation.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
This one from the unredoubtable CNN:

Stink bug spread worries growers across nation.

Mom, can I have peanut butter instead please?

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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Lost pyramids spotted from space

Shame on the owners for letting them wander away in the first place. They should be required to keep them in fenced yards.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
matthew_dixon
Shipmate
# 12278

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Okay - so it's not actually a headline, but a line from commentary on the BBC TV news about the crisis in Yemen, and why so much opportunity is just "out of reach" of many Yemeni people it seems.

"There are a large number of people there with small arms"

Poor people - such a shame when your upper limbs don't grow fully.

Posts: 321 | From: Cardiff | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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UK Apaches to join Libya mission

Members of America's First Nations, living in Britain, out to convert North African tribes to Christianity?

[ETA: I've got visions of Apache Mormons, smartly dressed, in pairs, slogging through the sands of the Sahara, wishing to go back to rainy Britain and have a cup of tea and some scones.]

[ 27. May 2011, 11:15: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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[TANGENT]In the spirit of "Famous Consecutive Posts," I notice that the BBC News webpage has this disturbing listing of available Special Reports:

Bin Laden killed
William and Kate


The bastard! [/TANGENT]

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged
badger@thesett
Shipmate
# 16422

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so are these funny...

Goole makes bid for city status
And it isn’t halloween

Apple fights fake security makers
Have your apples ever been fakes?

Titanic cigar box sold at £25,000
Wonder how big the box was and were there titanic cigars in it?

Bronze sculpture for Blade Runner
Why would you make a sculpture for a film... oh it’s not that blade runner


and my favourite
Police wheelchair attack 'lawful'
So now you know, police can attack wheelchairs...

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handle with care, can explode without apparent reason

Posts: 319 | From: Hull | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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This is from the USA, ...but bares looking at:
Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks

Read all about it.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
joan knox

Knoxy is my homeboy
# 16100

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Swans storm into premier league
... making one foul mess of the pitch, I suspect

and I know, I know, one mustn't, shouldn't laugh at the ongoing cucumber story but these:

Cucumber fear spreads in Europe

and in a further development...

Scientists probe deadly cucumbers

It's like some bad 50's sci-fi B movie... [Smile]

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Jesus saves, Allah protects, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich

Posts: 906 | From: edinburgh | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Bangladesh woman cuts off penis

Radical gender reassignment (this would be funnier if people didn't actually do it to themselves for this reason on occasion).

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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