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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines! (Page 24)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Clegg surprised by 'go home' vans

Is he still there?!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356

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Robinson and McGuinness parade spat

...The piece of anklewear in question was owned successively by Sir Roger Casement and Sir Edward Carson, and is therefore venerated as a relic by both Nationalists and Unionists. In an impressive show of unity, the First Minister and his Deputy took turns to carry the spat on a velvet cushion, first along the Falls Road and then the Shankhill. As they passed through cheering crowds, they....

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Clarkson faces Jane Austen ring wait

It's normally infamous petrolhead Jeremy Clarkson who's in the news - so this had me wonder if he'd finally owned up to his feminine side. [Biased]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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matthew_dixon
Shipmate
# 12278

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German boy finds 'mummy' in attic

One wonders what she was doing up there? I think he'd more refer to her as "Mutti" anyway...

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Villagers meet fracking protestors

(Hopefully neither side told the other to frack off)

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Dog lead found in missing chef hunt

Police are following a lead.

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Ann

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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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Rooney 'needs to force Man Utd exit'

He's been stuck in Old Trafford for 5 days now, waiting for the automatic door to work - it ain't going to happen! Give it a good shove!

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Probably one of the best-ever BBC RSS feed headlines:

Brotherhood condemns Badie arrest

Whatever they say: jail is probably a good place for a badie!

[ 20. August 2013, 21:28: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Testicle size 'link to father role'

Correlation is such that no testicles == no likelihood of being a father.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Five quizzed over family fire deaths

Another Enid Blyton theme...

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Teacher gives birth in classroom

Happy ending to sex ed class? 'She makes everything, like, so come alive, Miss.'

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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Putin demands Dutch arrest apology

Which leads to the obvious questions: how do you handcuff an apology? And what prison can hold it?

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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EU waters a cemetery, Malta warns

A cemetery with flowers, shrubs, trees and a properly maintained lawn looks better when regularly watered, though.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Calt to halt badger cull immediately

Calt is doing well there. No wait. It's from the Grauniad! Might just be a typo, then! [Snigger]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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Dell laptops 'have cat urine smell'

There's an app for that?

(Even more amusing/disturbing, according to the article Dell has explained that the "problem lay in the manufacturing process." That leaves a lot of room for speculation.)

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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Preserve sugary jams MP demands

Nice to know our rulers have some knowledge of the culinary arts.

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Poverty 'linked to cancer deaths'

So, if people die from cancer they're poor? I'd say they're dead, mostly, and thus rather unimpressed by any material possessions whatsoever.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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M23's decline raises hopes of DR Congo peace

Now you know why the Gatwick motorway link is in bad shape. Could we abandon the M6 to end Arab-Israeli conflict?

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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Minister attacks starved boy review

Well I'm glad they're reviewing it, because that sounds appalling!

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bacon painting fetches record price

Egg'n? I'd rather have that for breakfast, really.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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UK 'needs national space programme'

Didn't Hitler have something like that?

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Tinder 'solves problem for humanity'

This news only 125,000 years late.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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EU leaders meet under Ukraine cloud

Bit like Elijah praying for rain really.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Your pictures: Tools

NSFW!

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Pulse weapon brings cars to a halt

Bean there, done that.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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Not a news headline, but an email subject (from Delta Airlines):

Book fast for first class savings

For some reason, I read "book fast" as "stop reading books"! You mean they're going to give me discounts for not reading?

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Tablet goes on sale foe £30 in UK

(sic)

I wonder how much friends go for?

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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Youngest foreign minister takes post

We'll excuse it this time, little girl, but it's really not nice to steal other people's mail.

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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What happens to the... cheesymarzipan

It gets eaten? Especially if there's no other food in the house.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Ooops! Apologies, wrong thread. Have now copied it to the FLP thread. [Hot and Hormonal]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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It did have me scouring the BBC website trying to find the article... [Big Grin]

--------------------
"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Uganda passes anti-homosexual law

Out of its rear end, possibly? What a load of carp.

[ 21. December 2013, 03:42: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Not the BBC, but the Weather Channel:

"Sun to see upsurge of ice storms."

What next? Will hell freeze over after all? [Confused]

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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1 Fake vodka 'can kill you' warning

I've got news for you. The real stuff can too.

2 Neanderthals 'could speak like us'

That's not news. Don't teens speak like Neanderthals?

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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NI Haass talks end without agreement

Took me a while to see that 'end' is used as a verb, and 'talks' as a plural noun...

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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Scientists developing dog-to-English 'translator'

How tough is it to program a machine to say "Feed me!" whenever a dog barks?

[Alternative quip: Dog-to-English? Will it work for German Shepherds?]

--------------------
"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Jonah the Whale

Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244

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Not exactly new, but it reminds me of this Farside cartoon.
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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'Sticky balls' stop cancer spreading

Is that why youths don't wash?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Ariel Sharon dies: latest updates

Still dead.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Spies to be allowed to be speed

Hmm... 'My name is Amphetamine. James Amphetamine.' [Paranoid]

[ 12. January 2014, 15:36: Message edited by: Wesley J ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Green tea "can impedes beta blocker"

I can haz beta-blocker?

[ 14. January 2014, 12:37: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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"Mammoth wave crashed into my bedroom"

I've been picking tusk out of my duvet all morning!

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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And continuing the animal theme

Second Danish zoo may kill giraffe

How many Danish zoos does it take to kill one giraffe?

--------------------
Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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Students evacuated for gas leak

From a PA TV station web site: "local news"

Offers quite a few interpretations.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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[Big Grin]

As does this cunningly crafted pun:

Sewer was blocked by large Pooh

[Killing me]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Ann

Curious
# 94

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Man dropped trousers in Exeter Cathedral and damaged crucifix - seems rather rood.

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Ann

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
Man dropped trousers in Exeter Cathedral and damaged crucifix - seems rather rood.

[Overused]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Current affairs:

Electric chair haunts ex-jail chief

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
Current affairs:

Electric chair haunts ex-jail chief

That's re-volting.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Punch death sentence may be reviewed

That's the way to do it!

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged



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