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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines! (Page 3)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313

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[Killing me]

This thread is hilarious!

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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bull charges bullfight spectators

It's only fair. [Big Grin]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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In the "headline can apparently mean two contradictory things at once" category:

Tamil rebels issue peace warning

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Washington 'needs blackberry'

Not sure whether to put this in for random quote marks of the week or something to do with fruit...

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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my american ears hear "row" as in, "row, row, row, your boat..."

Zimbabwe row over loincloths

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Passenger growth boots BA
'cos bigger people pay more ?

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Person Found Dead After Car Linked to Murder Explodes in Gloucestershire

What, the car was found dead first, then the person, and after all that, he exploded? With thanks to Mr Happuch for spotting it! [Smile]

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Muslims in new cartoon protests

[pictures a new comic strip and a story filled with protesting Muslims (hopefully not drawn by a Dane) [Roll Eyes] ]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Moi 'knew about' Kenya gold scam

Moi? - Surely not! I swear!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942

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Here we go with a big triple from the ABC "News in Science" feed:

Animal lovers wish partners were like pets

I hope Steve Irwin hasn't had anything to do with this, because it makes this next headline rather scary:

Sex before public speaking calms nerves

But it seems that it doesn't work quite that way in Norway:

Norwegian doctor admits faking it


The URL of the feed: http://abc.net.au/science/news/xml/abc_news_in_science.xml

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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?

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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942

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In the "I Wish" category is this little gem:

At last! A bathroom that cleans itself.

[Overused] [Overused] [Overused] [Overused] [Overused]

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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?

Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Teenager hit by radiation blunder

Who was waving it about so carelessly?

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Coastguards hunt for hoax 'idiot'

so they're looking for someone who pretends to be stupid ?

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Spears admits baby driving error

She doesn't know how to drive a baby?
She admits the baby was driving badly?

[Confused] [Confused]

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Lib Dems Celebrate Bombshell Win

"Yay ! - We've won a bombshell, shame it's empty"

Volkswagen to cut 20,000 workers

too many sharp edges - sounds like a Health & Saftey issue.

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Not a headline, but I couldn't resist this from the story about Ken Fossett's Virgin GlobalFlyer record, currently here (but for how long...?)

quote:
Record distance

He landed shortly after 1700 GMT after 76 days and 45 minutes in the cockpit.



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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Outgoing MPs boost Abbas' power

quote:
I’m really glad you came, you know the rules, you know the game
Master of the scene
We’ve done it all before and now we’re back to get some more
You know what I mean

Voulez-vous (ah-ha)



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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Another not-a-headline-but-too-good/awful-to-miss here


quote:
According to police, the men in the minibus were of varying nationalities.
"hmm, today I think I'll be Swedish. How about you, Fred?"

Whatever happened to BBC English?

[ 14. February 2006, 16:33: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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Fresh Pakistan cartoon protests

...

I hate those fresh pakistani cartoons..... and who are they to protest?

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Choirboy
Shipmate
# 9659

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My favorite was from the Grand Forks (ND) Herald:

Inventor of Lutefisk T.V. Dinner Indicted

It's a fair cop, and about time too!

[ETA - Sorry; just noticed the title of the thread. Well, at least I hope you find this one funny.]

[ 17. February 2006, 03:26: Message edited by: Choirboy ]

Posts: 2994 | From: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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In the strange mental image category:

Kenyans demand more graft scalps

--------------------
Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Patients hit by oxygen shortage

Just hold your breath, Mrs Jones, the supply will last a bit longer then, all right?

[Roll Eyes]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Malicious Worm aims to Bite Apple

[brick wall] [Roll Eyes] [Disappointed]

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Five in court over kidnapped boy
One of Enid Blyton's lesser known works.

Bully victim's suffering payout
Payouts are suffering too now!

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pisquee
Apprentice
# 9520

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quote:
Man in court over shooting of PC

People get frustrated when their computer crashed, but i didn't know punishing it was a crime.
Posts: 49 | From: mv Arcadia | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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quote:
Originally posted by Keren-Happuch:
Five in court over kidnapped boy
One of Enid Blyton's lesser known works.

[Killing me]

I am now on the lookout for a corresponding "Seven" title...

[ 21. February 2006, 20:06: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Malnutrition test 'must be norm'


Wow, compared to Norm , quite a lot of people might look underweight.

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Police criticised over BBQ Murder

Was it burnt to death, by any chance?

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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Hosepipe bans call in South East

I didn't realise Hosepipe, whoever he is, had so much authority. I wonder what "call" is - some type of drug?

--------------------
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Police quiz two over £50m raid

2 over £50m, so that's what, £0.00000004 ?
hardly seems worth it.

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Men found guilty of killing women

Wow! That's a pretty wide-ranging judgement!

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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433

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quote:
Kangaroos cut down sloppy Swans
Marsupials with aquatic weed mowers?

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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/

Posts: 18917 | From: "Central" is all they call it | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Philippines marine head removed

Pop!! [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Knife killer is jailed for life

Do I need to comment?

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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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US 'settles 9/11 detainee's suit'

Ok, a bit of dry-cleaning and we're there!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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This one'd belong in Hell, actually:

Ill health legacy of atomic bomb

Riiiiiiiiight. [Help] [Disappointed]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942

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Colombian man gets house arrest for ride-by spanking

You'd hope he got one pretty darn good spank for it to be worth four years of house arrest!

--------------------
If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?

Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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This is in the "I understand all these words separately but put them together and [Confused] [Help] [Confused] " category:

Judge "bias" retrial clears man

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Kenya admits raids on paper

Yes miss, it was a major African nation darting into the stationery cupboard all along.

[ETA Keren-Happuch, I think that one definitely wins an award in its category!]

[ 02. March 2006, 16:52: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Vodafone could sell Japanese arm

And they've got a leg as well...!! [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bush praises Pakistan terror role

[Roll Eyes]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Keren-Happuch

Ship's Eyeshadow
# 9818

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Doctors' job site security fears

[Confused]

--------------------
Travesty, treachery, betrayal!
EXCESS - The Art of Treason
Nea Fox

Posts: 2407 | From: A Fine City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Blair defends support for Rover

"Look, I said he was a good dog, and I stand by that..."

--------------------
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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MSPs face further beam disruption

Looks like Marvin's been at it again

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

Posts: 540 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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this one is not BBC, from local paper. but I thought you all would enjoy...

Judge studies sharp objects

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Gruesome jail death inquiry call

Errr... what?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
o00o
Shipmate
# 3147

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got one!

'Memory Robber' Alzheimer's sign

Someone has stolen a sign for a outpatient clinic by brain power alone??????????

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11 o'clock - time for a Little Something

Posts: 168 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Goldfish
Apprentice
# 5527

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Police Trailed car in fat
Posts: 15 | From: Cov, UK | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

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Dead woman ignored warning.

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Ann

Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Consecutive, but not bad:

Tunnel collapse on Moscow metro

Milosevic buried in his home town


I had no idea the network was so extensive.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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