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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
This thread is hilarious!
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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Bull charges bullfight spectators
It's only fair. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
In the "headline can apparently mean two contradictory things at once" category:
Tamil rebels issue peace warning
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
my american ears hear "row" as in, "row, row, row, your boat..."
Zimbabwe row over loincloths
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Passenger growth boots BA
'cos bigger people pay more ?
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Muslims in new cartoon protests
[pictures a new comic strip and a story filled with protesting Muslims (hopefully not drawn by a Dane) ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ]
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Moi 'knew about' Kenya gold scam
Moi? - Surely not! I swear!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
Here we go with a big triple from the ABC "News in Science" feed:
Animal lovers wish partners were like pets
I hope Steve Irwin hasn't had anything to do with this, because it makes this next headline rather scary:
Sex before public speaking calms nerves
But it seems that it doesn't work quite that way in Norway:
Norwegian doctor admits faking it
The URL of the feed: http://abc.net.au/science/news/xml/abc_news_in_science.xml
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
In the "I Wish" category is this little gem:
At last! A bathroom that cleans itself.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Coastguards hunt for hoax 'idiot'
so they're looking for someone who pretends to be stupid ?
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Lib Dems Celebrate Bombshell Win
"Yay ! - We've won a bombshell, shame it's empty"
Volkswagen to cut 20,000 workers
too many sharp edges - sounds like a Health & Saftey issue.
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Not a headline, but I couldn't resist this from the story about Ken Fossett's Virgin GlobalFlyer record, currently here (but for how long...?)
quote:
Record distance
He landed shortly after 1700 GMT after 76 days and 45 minutes in the cockpit.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Outgoing MPs boost Abbas' power
quote:
I’m really glad you came, you know the rules, you know the game
Master of the scene
We’ve done it all before and now we’re back to get some more
You know what I mean
Voulez-vous (ah-ha)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Another not-a-headline-but-too-good/awful-to-miss here
quote:
According to police, the men in the minibus were of varying nationalities.
"hmm, today I think I'll be Swedish. How about you, Fred?"
Whatever happened to BBC English?
[ 14. February 2006, 16:33: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Fresh Pakistan cartoon protests
...
I hate those fresh pakistani cartoons..... and who are they to protest?
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Choirboy
Shipmate
# 9659
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Posted
My favorite was from the Grand Forks (ND) Herald:
Inventor of Lutefisk T.V. Dinner Indicted
It's a fair cop, and about time too!
[ETA - Sorry; just noticed the title of the thread. Well, at least I hope you find this one funny.]
[ 17. February 2006, 03:26: Message edited by: Choirboy ]
Posts: 2994 | From: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA | Registered: Jun 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
In the strange mental image category:
Kenyans demand more graft scalps
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Patients hit by oxygen shortage
Just hold your breath, Mrs Jones, the supply will last a bit longer then, all right?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Malicious Worm aims to Bite Apple
![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif) ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Pisquee
Apprentice
# 9520
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Posted
quote:
Man in court over shooting of PC
People get frustrated when their computer crashed, but i didn't know punishing it was a crime.
Posts: 49 | From: mv Arcadia | Registered: May 2005
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Keren-Happuch:
Five in court over kidnapped boy
One of Enid Blyton's lesser known works.
I am now on the lookout for a corresponding "Seven" title...
[ 21. February 2006, 20:06: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Malnutrition test 'must be norm'
Wow, compared to Norm , quite a lot of people might look underweight.
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Police criticised over BBQ Murder
Was it burnt to death, by any chance?
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Hosepipe bans call in South East
I didn't realise Hosepipe, whoever he is, had so much authority. I wonder what "call" is - some type of drug?
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Police quiz two over Ł50m raid
2 over Ł50m, so that's what, Ł0.00000004 ?
hardly seems worth it.
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Men found guilty of killing women
Wow! That's a pretty wide-ranging judgement!
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Philippines marine head removed
Pop!! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Knife killer is jailed for life
Do I need to comment?
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
US 'settles 9/11 detainee's suit'
Ok, a bit of dry-cleaning and we're there!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
This one'd belong in Hell, actually:
Ill health legacy of atomic bomb
Riiiiiiiiight. ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
Colombian man gets house arrest for ride-by spanking
You'd hope he got one pretty darn good spank for it to be worth four years of house arrest!
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Kenya admits raids on paper
Yes miss, it was a major African nation darting into the stationery cupboard all along.
[ETA Keren-Happuch, I think that one definitely wins an award in its category!]
[ 02. March 2006, 16:52: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Vodafone could sell Japanese arm
And they've got a leg as well...!!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Bush praises Pakistan terror role
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Blair defends support for Rover
"Look, I said he was a good dog, and I stand by that..."
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Petrified
Ship’s ballast
# 10667
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Posted
MSPs face further beam disruption
Looks like Marvin's been at it again
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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"
Posts: 540 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2005
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
this one is not BBC, from local paper. but I thought you all would enjoy...
Judge studies sharp objects
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Gruesome jail death inquiry call
Errr... what?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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o00o
Shipmate
# 3147
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Posted
got one!
'Memory Robber' Alzheimer's sign
Someone has stolen a sign for a outpatient clinic by brain power alone??????????
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11 o'clock - time for a Little Something
Posts: 168 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2002
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
Dead woman ignored warning.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Consecutive, but not bad:
Tunnel collapse on Moscow metro
Milosevic buried in his home town
I had no idea the network was so extensive.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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