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Source: (consider it) Thread: Famous BBC RSS Feed Headlines!
The Goldfish
Apprentice
# 5527

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Patients become NHS bug

I know that the NHS has problems, but I didn't realise the patients were that much of an issue for them

Posts: 15 | From: Cov, UK | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Polish TV says installation of Archbishop Wielgus may not go ahead

Now, I read this wondering: is this about Polish workers in the UK who refuse to install TV sets in people's homes? Possibly not wanting Britons to watch 'Big Brother'? Or they haven't got the right cables? [Confused]

Well, seems this Archbishop needs secret wiring anyway.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Belarus 'restarts oil shipments'

Belisarius? Shipmeets? As close as it gets. [Paranoid]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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Documents reveal BBC Dyke drama

Whoooooar!!!!! Lesbian Soap Opera Shocker!!!!!

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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Pig farmer says charges "Hogwash"

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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quote:
A two-day strike by thousands of British Airways cabin crew is to go ahead, it has been announced.

Talks aimed at averting the walk-out [sic!] on 30 and 31 January broke down without agreement on Wednesday night.

Was on BBC Radio 4 News as well. Well, good luck with that! [Roll Eyes] [Killing me]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Spotted during Radio 4 News, earlier today:

quote:
The Queen is going to battle James Bond in London today.
Which, as I found out to my dismay, simply refers to the Bafta film awards - though for a moment I had some images of a new, completely sensational scenario there! [Big Grin] [Killing me]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Lowly Worm

Ship's Annelid
# 11663

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From the Vancouver Province newspaper:

quote:
Slain Woman Unhappy
Yeah, I bet she is unhappy. I'd be pissed off too, if I were murdered.

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"Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Chimpanzees 'hunt using spears'

New role for shorn pop singer.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Letter bombs accused in court

don't blame the letters, blame the person that sent them !

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
PeaceRose
Shipmate
# 11586

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Tory probe could save MP

I don't want to know. [Eek!]

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Kindness is underrated.

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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N Korea 'invites UN nuclear head'

To put on top of new intercontinental missile?

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Izzybee
Shipmate
# 10931

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I just saw Church confirms she is pregnant. That's got to be a title that would keep our purgatory board busy forever!

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Hate filled bitch musings...

Posts: 1336 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

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"Illegal migrants 'allowed to go'"

But only because they had been sitting very nicely with their hands up!

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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

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Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

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From today's Globe & Mail:
quote:
Blind skier leads Canada
OliviaG

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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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BBC News headline now:

LATEST: Lord Conrad Black accused of stealing $60m on first day of his US trial for fraud.

Good gracious me, will he never stop? What ever is he gonna nick on the second day?? - I daren't think! [Eek!]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Berlin rallies behind baby bear

I didn't realise she was in trouble !

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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... and the sequel:

Baby bear becomes media star

Q.

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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Elvis Elvis lookalike 'bit woman's arm'

quote:
An Elvis lookalike got drunk and attacked four people at a convention for Presley fans, a court has heard.
From 'Bite me tender, bite me please' straight to 'Jailhouse Rock'!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Qoheleth.:
... and the sequel:

Baby bear becomes media star

Q.

I saw that one too, and it took me a moment to realise it wasn't about me, but a little polar bear. [Big Grin]
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Wimpey and Woodrow 'eye merger'

Had to check what this mysterious union was about... [Disappointed]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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Not actually a headline but from the BBC website:

quote:

WHO agrees HIV circumcision plan

<snip...>
Kevin De Cock, director of HIV/AIDS at the World Health Organization said: .....

[Big Grin]

Is that ok on this thread?
Q.

--------------------
The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

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Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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quote:
Originally posted by Qoheleth.:
WHO agrees HIV circumcision plan

<snip...>

Whoops
[Hot and Hormonal]

Q.
with apologies for DP

[ 28. March 2007, 18:13: Message edited by: Qoheleth. ]

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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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What is it about HIV and headlines?

Breastfeeding alone cuts HIV risk

Well, that's the end of all those mass breastfeeding rallies I guess [Eek!]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Egyptian born every 23 seconds

What an exhausting business that must be for everyone involved. Nicodemus eat your heart out.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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In the "your grammar needs examining" category:

Broadband challenge faces Britain

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Munch art thieves jailed in Oslo

Just for the fun/pun of it: Food art - they must have been very hungry. You'd expect them to nick from a supermarket. [Paranoid]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Detective Agency 'paid to spy'
well, duh !

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Text reveals more ancient secrets

SMS historians

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Turkey party calls for early poll

Poll-try in motion! The early poll catches the worm!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Football legends remember Ball

[ 03. May 2007, 21:22: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Blood workers protest over cuts [Eek!]

Chicken, all of ye!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Mars starts using animal products

The magic transformation of a planet, I thought. Alas, it's the choccie bar. They're using leather wrappers now. [Biased]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Tight Security in Pakistan city

excuse me, madam, where are you going with those black 20 denier ?

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Genes shed light on fish fingers

Enlighten us and tell us why we love 'em!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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From BBC News:

Birth surge 'stretches midwives'

Midwives getting taller!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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>>> Come on, you pun busters! There's lots out there! <<<

My latest discovery, again from Auntie Beeb:

Nine held in dangerous dog raids

Fifteen more arrested in quite harmless raids.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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Lebanon's army win camp battle

Coo-ee ! our uniforms are much more co-ordinated than yours, ducky !

[ 21. June 2007, 21:05: Message edited by: Wet Kipper ]

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Bush faces eavesdropping subpoena

Good grief! Does that hurt? Somebody get a doctor, quick!

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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Florida man's headache mystery solved by a bullet (from Reuters oddly enough news)

So someone shot him and then he didn't have a headache?

--------------------
A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Timothy the Obscure

Mostly Friendly
# 292

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From the New York Times last week:

DNA Testing Makes Dogs Into Guinea Pigs

Which would tend to confuse the test results, I'd think...

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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
  - C. P. Snow

Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Pope aims to normalise China ties

All Cardinals and Bishops must wear them.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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N Korea considers early shutdown

Would the last person to leave the country please turn out the (few) lights?

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Baby doctor cleared of misconduct

Who responded by sucking his thumb, having agreed to no longer perform surgery until he'd grown up.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
From BBC News:

Birth surge 'stretches midwives'

Midwives getting taller!

I just saw this post.

Birth stretches a lot of other things, too.

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Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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On headline posters for the Evening Standard yesterday:

BROWN GETS TOUGH ON CANNABIS

Funny, everyone else just seems to get mellow on it... But I knew he was on something!

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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[Big Grin] Esmeralda


190,000 weapons 'missing in Iraq'

I'd have thought they've got more than enough already. Can't they share? - Oh, wait... [Disappointed]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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T. rex 'would outrun footballer'

Woo-hoo!! - BRING BACK THE DINOSAURS!! [Snigger]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Chapelhead

I am
# 21

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Detective work recovers a lost constable

Apparently the police are now having to go looking for their own colleagues.

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At times like this I find myself thinking, what would the Amish do?

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Very good, CH!

And now for some stunning headline news:

Home Depot sells unit at discount

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged



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