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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Offencesenslessness
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
I have offered the requisite sacrifice of rouge, mismatched clothing and over-large shoes to our dear hosts and received permission to revive this monster. At least, I think it was permission. I did address the request to Ariston and, well, the reply was as coherent as he was able to manage. So I shall interpret it as permission.
The rules, hmmm.
- take offence at something the previous poster wrote
- add some meat for the next poster
- keep the offence within the thread
- be creative (at least occasionally and to the best of your, cough, ability)
- Don't actually be mean, keep to within the tolerance of the target as best you can*
Punishment for failing to adhere to the rules will result in the perpetrator being required to listen to our resident clown/philosopher give his dissertation on the meaning of life. Bless his heart.
*And the targets abilities to respond. For example, when addressing Ariston, use small words and easy refrences.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Really now, I don't think I even have time to deal with that train wreck of an opening post. This is a thread much beloved of our community, one that has given us endless hours of polishing our abilities to give fraternal correction in Christian Love,™ and you sully it with a feeble and febrile attempt at "writing" like that? For Shame! I really see that it falls to me to maintain some semblance of decency and standards around this place.
And seriously, what's with that half-page long title? You do realize we're all going to have to look at it on the front page every time somebody visits these boards, right? I think it'll take the creaking UBB software and extra 13 processing cycles it doesn't have to spare just to figure out how to spell that monstrosity. Come now. Have some consideration for others. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Ariston, Ariston, Ariston,you just had to make this all about you, didn't you? Your opening sentence: quote:
I don't think I have time
As if you are the only Circus host in the entire world. There are others of us, you know. We are not lesser beings. We too may not have time to deal with the train wreck of an OP, but did you consider that? Oh no. I haven't time to deal with it either, but do I count? No, I am swept aside like so many crumbs under the carpet.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
You keep your crumbs under the carpet? Not on top, where they can occasionally be vacuumed up, but beneath, where they solidify into a layer of mould whose spores are even now seeding allergies across entire counties.
I am so upset that I may very well have to have some hot buttered toast.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
You really are quite heartless.
Now I am going to have to get out of bed and go in the kitchen.
I was sitting here quite nicely, keeping my poor duvet company (it has a tendency to get very lonely when I'm out at w*rk), and managing to forego my morning cup of coffee until the Smudgelet gets up, and you have to mention hot buttered toast.
Malicious, that was.
And as for using the v***um word on a Sunday, (or any day at all, for that matter) well, the less said about that the better.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Firenze, shame on you! To pick on the poor, hapless pingu! She does not have poor housekeeping skills as much as she has none at all. Not her fault, still hasn't adjusted from life on the ice floes to a proper* home. As a bird, she has other challenges. Most are not known for their cerebral prowess.**
And it is a lesser-known fact that penguins not only eat fish, but drink like them. The detritus you found was not mould from bread or biscuit, but, well, you may fill in the blank here.
*For certain values of proper.
**And here I have a dilemma; by using large words, we can avoid generating recognition of disparagement. However, this is the Circus and we do not wish it's "Hosts"*** to be out of the loop, comprehension-wise.
***Though this may be akin to calling residents of Bethlem "doctors"
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You all love Smudgie more than you love me, and you started this thread while I was on vacation ON PURPOSE. How could you stomp on my heart like this????
Weeping wet bunny tears in my lonely room. Hope you all are very happy.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
They do.
We did.
We are.
Finding it difficult to find anything particularly offensive about your post, Kelly.
Oh yes. The carpet. Weeping on the carpet. That is offensive. Want to make everyone squelch when they walk?
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
And I think you could at least learn to type in proper sentences, you dim bird. Surely even hunt and peck shouldn't be beyond the ability of a beast with a beak? Are nouns in the accusitive case cold-sensitive? Does international law prohibit the use of direct objects south of Van Diemen's Land? Would it really be too much trouble to add in an additional noun?
No, no it wouldn't. Do try to keep up, please.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Goodness me, the modern trend of the immature juvenile with an underdeveloped grasp of the full range of linguistic and semantic variety at his fingertips is encapsulated in that post. Ariston, there's more to life than just questions, young man. How about being part of the answer?
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Shame?
Gwai, dear Gwai, I'm not sure that Pingu understands the word, I think she gave up shame when Moses was but a lad thus to remind her of the shortfall in her moral standards is more than a waste of breath, it might even be interpreted as deliberately cruel!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
There's an ongoing thread in purgatory debating the very existence of Moses, with multiple participants and lengthy, well-reasoned posts on both sides of the issue. And yet, you, Woderick, just come into the Circus and with one sweeping allusion claim to have solved the whole riddle?
Any other long-standing, complex debates you wish to settle with a snap of your proverbial fingers?
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Oh, certainly! just ignore the rules within the very first page!
- Keep the offence within the thread
The weasel is a pensioner, 'tis true. And they do seem to care little for rules or propriety. Just last week he was seen wandering Buckingham palace wearing naught but a camera with long, telephoto lens. 'Twas gauche. And a bit of braggadocio as short zoom would have done the job.
And you, Mr. Hat, bringing religion into the thread. On this website in particular.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Oh, certainly! just ignore the rules within the very first page!
- Keep the offence within the thread
...
Just a tad anal retentative, what?
By the way, I thought there was a rule on foreign languages - bragadoccio??? gauche??? Not all of us are at that place where tongues meet. I do of course except myself from this, but have some compassion on those whose linguistic abilities are somewhat below my own.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Oooooooooh, someone hand me the brain bleach, quick.
Did you have to mention "the place where tongues meet"? And to brag about your own status in that respect, forcing me to visualise whose tongue yours is meeting, precisely. I am just glad to say it's not mine! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
And what's more, HOW. ON. EARTH. did you manage not to find LB offensive? That really does stretch credibility.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Simples, Smudgie. I am beyond reproach whilst you are beyond approach. Sandwich boy recognises this.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Beyond reproach, huh? Really? You think of all the people who frequent this site, none of them is capable of finding a single thing to reproach you for? (I don't mean myself, of course. I'm beyond reproaching others. But I will gladly take offense on their behalf.)
And the Penguin isn't entirely beyond approach; some brave souls do make excursions to the South Pole.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
The designation of Antarctica as the South Pole and its consequent positioning at the bottom of the map is a well-known neo-colonialist tool of oppression. Why shouldn't the Arctic be considered the South Pole, so that the oppressed nations, ground below the heel of the US military-industrial capitalist hegemony, of Australia and New Zealand are represented at the top of the map as is their right?
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Yer oot yer face, ya glaikit knob! Stap yer havering!*
If you turn the world upside down, where do you think Scotland will be? Still trying to clear A' Ghàidhealtachd, are ye?
And what is wrong with hedges? Especially those with monies in them.
*Translation: Please stop and consider what you are suggesting. You may not be thinking this through.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
There is everything wrong with financial hedges. My opinion of you wasn't high before, but I never thought you'd stoop so low as defending bankers. Just throw another billion of the taxpayer's money at them, why don't you?
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Throwing money around, la vie en rouge? Tut, tut, how wasteful of you - don't you realise there are poor children in Africa who would dearly love to get within sniffing distance of a humble £1 coin, and you are throwing it about willy nilly, without a care in the world!
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
... get within sniffing distance ... throwing it about willy nilly, without a care in the world!
Speaking as someone who is completely sound in the Canticles, may I express outrage on behalf of the silent MORAL majority of users of this board? The vile innuendi and dubious double-entendres perpetrated by someone who describes herself as 'completely frocked' leave me almost (but not quite) speechless.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Right, complain about filthy talk then lay down a bunch of your own filth!
At least you are being honest about where your thoughts are coming from. But sound canticles? You should be using the mass of tissue between your ears, not those dangling below your belt.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Like to paint with a broad brush, do you? "YOU PEOPLE" is about as offensive as it gets, and it's not even filthy, except in minds too narrow to see creativity all around.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Alicïa
Shipmate
# 7668
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Posted
For your information, what you call "creativity" some of us call vandalism. Broad brush strokes indeed! That's what they call making a mess these days is it? Anyone can throw a bit of paint around, but it's not all fine art. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world." Georgia Elma Harkness
Posts: 884 | From: Where the Art is. | Registered: Jun 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Wow. The snobbery and classist condescension in that post. I don't even know where to begin, except to suggest a few good courses in appreciating guerrilla street art. I bet you're also one of Those People who believe that if we rabble really had any desire to improve ourselves or our degraded tastes, we'd pony up the $20 to get into a museum; the fact that you're having to contribute to the endowment again is just a sign of our utter and complete depravity.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
That's just sizist. Combining 'pony' with the word 'up' is clearly supposed to be a humiliating reminder to ponies of their supposedly inferior status compared to carthorses. I'll have you know that equines of all sizes are beautiful and proud.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Look. At. Ariston's. Avatar. To him, anything pony is a compliment. He was not being sizest, but pro pony. And that is what you should have been offended by.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
... Don't you think we have enough people in today's culture taking offense at things? ....Everyone's obsession with their own egoistic emotions are exactly what is wrong with today's society. And to think that this is a Christian Website!
Oh, put a sock in it, Grandma! Wake up and smell the toffee ... sitting in your rocking chair a-mumbling and a-grumbling that the youth of today are going to Hell in a handcart just won't cut the mustard with us hip young doodz. This Ship of Fools ain't a Saga cruise, you get me?
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Listen Slick, your crummy attitude offends me. It's time for you to hitch up your Saggy Pants and turn your baseball cap around so the bill is in front. Think what you owe to the older generations, and be thankful. Not all of us Old-Timers live in the County Home for the Feeble, you know.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
What we owe to the Older generations? We should be thanking them for inspiring adverts to stiffen the drooping parts, loosening up the stiff parts, unstopping the stopped up parts or stemming the flow?
Are we to thank them for constantly reminding us of what we ought be thanking them?
Or for being an ever-present reminder of how soon we must ready our coin for Charon's river crossing?
Thank you ever so much.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Looking at your drooping, stiff, stopped up and free-flowing parts, LB, I would be grateful if you stopped being quite so proud and started showing sufficient gratitude to those who advertise cures for these unslightly and, to be honest, somewhat unsavoury traits and actually get yourself out there and buy some.
I am moooooooooost offended that you don't have the consideration to save us the embarrassment of trying to avoid mentioning the... er... elephant in the room, so to speak.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Tsk. Frankly, Smudgie, being a free and wild animal yourself I wouldn't think you would advocate keeping an elephant in a room. At least you have the grace to be embarrassed to speak of it, but that is not enough.
I shall be contacting the RSPCA at the next available opportunity.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
'k, the reason we have a landfill problem nowadays it that people think styrofoam isn't useful. You can do all kinds of things with styrofoam before you just chuck it in the trash. You can make shrinky-dinks with it. SHRINKY-DINKS, for God's sake! Consider your options before you dismiss your trash, I'm just saying.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Yam-pk
Shipmate
# 12791
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Posted
A LAWYER?
Listen Smudgie, if we didn't have LAWYERS, would anyone be there to defend the innocent British badgers from their impending gassing and shootings, would there have been Nelson Mandela and, dare I say, even Mother Theresa, without the services of a good honest plucky attorney? I don't think so! So when people start talk about NOT being lawyers, just thank your lucky stars you're never on Columbo or one of those American court-room dramas, or you'd become a sold-out Robin Reliant-style three-wheeled conveyance with wigs and gowns, hammering a gavel in your sleep against a writ...
[ 13. September 2013, 18:44: Message edited by: Yam-pk ]
Posts: 472 | From: The Grim North | Registered: Jul 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(aside to Gwai) I guess we just don't rate. I guess yummypuk feels like he can just pick or choose who he responds to on this thread, rules be damned. I guess noticing the presence of such pariah as us would fatally cripple his prestige. Seriously, someone needs to get off his high horse.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Yam-pk
Shipmate
# 12791
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Posted
(aside to Kelly) Look, if my stupid computer had actually bothered to respond and the delete facility had worked when I'd have gladly deleted the deletable <expletive deleted> ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Posts: 472 | From: The Grim North | Registered: Jul 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Our Lord prayed for an excuse like that....
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Addendum to the rules: When a post is so utterly devoid of any redeeming quality, one may ignore the post and focus on a previous post.
On further review, this would disallow most of you, so I suppose we must respond.
Yam-pk, A computer cannot be smart. They are not (yet) truly thinking beings. A computer cannot, therefore, be dumb. The second statement leads me to conclude, despite the gibberish you post, you are indeed human. Or some semblance thereof.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Translation of addendum: I am too lazy/ inept to come up with a viable response to Kelly's perfectly adequate, if not brilliant one-liner, therefore I will find an easier target.
Pitiable, really. If it weren't so offensive.
[ 13. September 2013, 22:45: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
So Buddsy gets to add to the rules on a whim? Is this prerogative reserved exclusively to the horny originator of the thread or is this a democracy? Do we or do we not have equal rights in this game?
But at least I think I'm getting the hang of the hidden rules now ... like how we all ignore PsychoBunny's posts.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
See, you think you are insulting me, but if you ignore my posts, I get to say stuff like "Below the Lansker is a sock-sniffing suppository-eater with an IQ hovering below room temperature" and get away with it.
But I wouldn't say anything like that, because I am a decent human being, which makes me an anomaly on this thread.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
How can you joke about ignoring posts when the Royal Mail is about to be privatised? When posties are worrying about their jobs and the future of daily universal delivery in this country are hanging in the wind, I find your talk of ignoring them quite tasteless.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Sandwich Boy, you* are sooo adorable when you are being so naive!
This site is an organic democracy which is ruled to benefit the rabble as the rabble are not qualified to rule itself. Well, this is the sub-basement of the ship's insane asylum. (AKA, The Circus) As it is run by those voted Most Likely To Need Restraints, I am not sure the word rules fits vary well. Hmmmm, when the PTB make Bunny Foo Foo an ADMIN, perhaps the sanity is not a strong point of any of the lot.
*"you" being a general term for people, not you in specific, because, well, ewww!
Apologies, Dafyd, for inadvertently ignoring your post.
[ 14. September 2013, 21:51: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
I am totally offended by the suggestion that I am likely to need restraint.
I already have plenty of restraint.
Though the straps do allow me just enough range of movement to see the screen and move my fingers on the keyboard so thoughtfully positioned just within my reach.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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