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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Offencesenslessness
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Oooops! ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
"ooops", what? Are you really gonna let him talk to you that way? Grab hold of your gonads and fight like a man!
You can borrow my axe is you wish.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Sorry, I sometimes have difficulty picking up the SofF tone and comprehending the SofF culture. What I WANTED to say was:
You had me going for a minute, Below the Lansker. I actually imagined, when you showed up univited at my front door, flashing your indecipherable I.D., that you might be an agent of the Higher Ups (the ones who know the Unwritten Laws around here, which have precious little to do with the Ten Commandments that they keep telling us to read).
That bedraggled trench coat and battered trilby should have warned me. Now I see you for what you are, a pretentious thug trying to intimidate me while pretending to be my friend. Good Cop/ Bad Cop all in one.
I strain for invective susfficient to put you in your place.
Here goes: I am ... VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
roybart, you really must learn to trust your gut instincts - if an agent of the Higher-ups is what you think I am, then an agent of the Higher-ups is what I am. Indeed, I do not know the Unwritten laws, I am the Unwritten Law - that of good breeding, impeccable taste, correct grammar and perfect typing (unlike Cuddle-Bunny - 'you can borrow my axe is you wish' - I mean, come on). You see those grey letters under her name - ADMIN? They were paid for - it's the elephant in the room - no-one talks about it, but we all know it's there all the same.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Dear me, BtL. You are neither God nor Clint Eastwood. If you are the Unwritten Law, then why are you written down, hmm, hmm?
And ‘Cuddly Bunny’? Please keep your perverse plushy-lite leanings to yourself.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Do we really need such an excess of lacrymose moisture? Isn't it just a tad over the top particularly when we ponder whether penguins can actually cry?
Be kind to the electrons and limit your smilies, please.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Isn't that just negativist. Why should the negative particles get all the attention. Here are the protons sending out positive vibes to us all, and do they get any love and attention for it? Any respect? Not at all. As usual the grease is applied to the squeaky wheel not to the most deserving.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
You keep repeating that dumb proverb about squeaky wheels getting grease, and, even if inadvertently, perpetuating the culture of entitlement.
'Round here, the squeaky wheel gets replaced.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
It's sad that we seem to be moving towards a throw-away culture. Why replace what can be fixed with a little oil. Will no one think of the good of the planet.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
"It's sad that we seem to be moving to a throwaway culture" - well, boo-hoo, Spidey ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif) We haven't all got time to squander our me-time a-weepin' and a-wailin' about squeaky wheels and empty oil-cans. And what is it with your aversion to question marks? Some of us work hard to maintain high standards of style and accuracy in language and punctuation; others of us attain those high standards without undue effort.
If you want to think of the good of the planet, just think about me: I'm good and I live on the planet. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Below the Lansker:
If you want to think of the good of the planet, just think about me: I'm good and I live on the planet.
BtheL, I'm getting concerned. You don't think that that old Messiah complex might be coming back, do you? Have you stopped taking your meds? All this harping about being "good," I mean. We've been there before. Next thing you know you'll be back to referring to yourself as "Above the Lansker" and even (I remember THAT sad day quite well) "W-A-Y above the Lansker." BtL, no one knows what the blazes a Lansker is. We don't even care. We just want you to return to being your sweet old humble self.
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
I'm fed up with this ignorance posing as reverse snobbery. So you think you object to Baroque music? I doubt you know enough about it to object to it. The Messiah isn't Bach (note spelled correctly with an h, not a k). And is it too complex for you? Just because you can't handel counterpoint doesn't give you the right to tell other people they may not either.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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uffda
Shipmate
# 14310
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Posted
Dear Dafyd,
I must tell you that it offends me to see your reverse snobbery posing as ignorance. Your musical allusions are meant to create the illusion of culture, while you sit up there in Scotland with your haggis and scotch, taking potshots at the rest of us, who struggle to make sense of BtL, Ariston, and even that bloody bunny and the pingu.
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Invincibly ignorant and planning to stay that way!
Posts: 1031 | From: Buffalo, NY | Registered: Nov 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Uffda, dear Uffda, I realise that it is not really your fault that you have the attention span rather shorter than that of a gnat but in criticising Dafyd as you did, and rightly so, you forgot to mention the bagpipes, that greatest of the afflictions visited upon humanity by our Celtic brethren.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
I don't know what-the-heck any of you (supposedly high-class) drones are talking about. A BtL (BLT) is a bacon/lettuce/tomato sandwich. Bagpipery, don't forget, was originally intended to frighten the enemy into either running away, or surrendering with their thumbs in their ears, saying "Please God, make it stop"
The whole lot of you just make up The Truth as you go along. Pitiful.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pearl B4 Swine:
"Please God, make it stop"
I really couldn't have expressed it better myself, although I doubt the originator of this particular pearl of wisdom was aware of just how supremely apt these words are, coming as they do at the end of a very turgid and rambling post. Do we really need to be reminded of bacon sarnies and bagpipes, and are we of such low intellectual calibre that we need their full meaning to be explained as if to babes in arms? Well, a few of the less gifted amongst us may need it all to be spelled out (with pictures too for Bun-Buns and Tweetie), but speaking for myself, I can do without the condescension, Pearlie.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Mmmm, good thick slices of back bacon with butter on a nice crusty baguette and maybe a bit of brown sauce...I MEAN, um, how dare you distract me with visions of sandwiches at dinnertime, especially since they don't have back bacon here! Have you no shame? Do you rejoice in the misfortune of others? Have you never heard of empathy, and that it's best shared by mailing board moderators bottles of HP Sauce and IRN-BRU?
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Good gracious, Appliance Boy. The sandwich suggest arming babies and all you can think to do is beg for condiments and fizzy drinks?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
You are criticising someone for arming babies? What do you want to do? Remove babies' arms? You brute!
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
I protest at you stigmatising non-human animals by using the word 'brute' as an insult. Do non-human animals become investment bankers? No, they do not. And yet you're concerned that babies don't have arms. Why shouldn't the non-human animals have arms? You heard the slogan here first - Guns for sheep! Guns for gnus!
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Have you never heard of empathy, and that it's best shared by mailing board moderators bottles of HP Sauce ?
We are fortunate: we have several branches of Tesco here on the west coast and we had it on our steaks last night!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
There you go again, Sir Kevin. Blathering on and on and on about killing animals and eating their flesh. Is there nothing on God's good earth that will not make you obsess about biting into rank, blood-soaked meat? I agree with Dafyd, who rightly protests the homo sapiens and carnivore biases on this thread. (And don't think I didn't notice your fawning reference to Tesco. Are you on their payroll, or what?)
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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uffda
Shipmate
# 14310
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Posted
roybart, I hope you haven't tired yourself out by jumping to conclusions the way you do. It was clear from Sir Kevin's post that he was lopping off branches of the Tesco tree (thereby dis-arming them), I suppose in an attempt to add fiber to his diet. I know it sounds strange, but Sir Kevin lives in a place where strange things happen every day.
[ 28. September 2013, 13:34: Message edited by: uffda ]
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Invincibly ignorant and planning to stay that way!
Posts: 1031 | From: Buffalo, NY | Registered: Nov 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I am not in the least surprised, given your track record, but I am hurt that you think the strange things that happen in Sir Kevin's life are more noteworthy than the strange things that happen in my life!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
But WW, there none other than things strange your life.
There are some that I dare not contemplate much less type. Some that would shock even the libidinous, hedonistic, maniacal, deviant, fog soaked kharagōśa.
Running the Main Street in town, wearing naught but an over-sized onesie with strategic cut outs, a courgette up both nostrils pursuing a terrified elephant.
This part, I can describe. But as to why the elephant was terrified....... shudder
Took four battle-scarred warriors to tell me the story, none could could manage a complete recitation without psychiatric intervention. Upon hearing the tale, I blacked out. Woke a month later running a green grocers in Kiev.
And you wish to torture our poor shippies with more? ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
[ 28. September 2013, 17:33: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
" fog-soaked kharagōśa." How poetic.
Once again, the thread is sidetracked with your your lurid lucid dreaming-- apparently peyote-fueled, from the look of things.
Look, I told you before-- that summer in Belize will always be enshrined in my memory, but a couple of margaritas and a coconut oil rubdown is nothing on which to base a lingering infatuation. It's time to move on, sweetheart.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Pics or it didn't happen.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
You would explode.
ETA: I mean your head would explode.
ETA_rev-b: I mean your cranium would explode.
[ 29. September 2013, 06:10: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Preview Post Is Your Friend.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh shut up, Johnny Rules lawyer. Like you never made a typo or ten.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
I have been counting Ariston's typos and I have to say that your insinuation that he made either one typo or ten typos is highly misleading. He has made far far more than that.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
Bun-buns and Tweetie, I'm ashamed for you both. Rather a case of two little pots calling the Ariston kettle black when you two start hurling accusations regarding accuracy in typing, or to extend your insinuations, grammar or linguistic savoir faire, don't you agree? We all know that there is only one person participating in this thread who has any right at all to offer suggestions and helpful hints when it comes to shortcomings, whether moral or linguistic. However, modesty forbids... ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
WW! I am ashamed of you.
I had heard* the code of the asylum was to look after each other! Yet you permit sandwich boy to wander unsupervised. Come get your cell, erm, roommate.
*at least this is what Ariston says. I tell him to keep his "poetry" in his head, but noOOooo, he thinks the world needs to hear it. Then he is hauled to the psychiatrist for evaluation, hooked up for shock therapy and, oh wait, he does it a purpose,** doesn't he? He likes the shock therapy.
** to clarify, his ramblings are insane. However, it seems his forebrain is developed just enough to connect the public recitation with the electrodes.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
You're ashamed of me?
How do you think I feel over here wallowing in a cesspool of guilt? Pile it on why don'tcha? Tell the world what a despicable person I am!
Is it medication time yet?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
You really have no consideration for the working woman, do you? You order me to tell the world what a despicable person you are without any thought to other demands I might have on my time this afternoon. I have dishes to wash, dinner to cook, lessons to prepare, coffee to drink, cats to stroke and boys to nag, without finding time to write a 10,000 word essay!
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
... wallowing in a cesspool ...? Pile it on why don'tcha? ...
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) Do we really need this sort of talk on a Christian messageboard? And on a Sunday? I know Buddsy has a penchant for what is known as "dirty talk", but dear Wodders, you do lil Horny no favours by pandering to the lower nature. Remember that some of us have higher standards and strive to keep our minds out of the gutter.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
BLT,
You would need a ladder to reach the gutter.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
( crickets)
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh. My. God.
The lazy, half-hearted, half-assed attempts at offense on this thread are killing me. We have standards to uphold. We have rhetorical magic to conjure. People are waiting anxiously for their bosses to leave the cubicle so they can click on this thread and see what genius we have produced.
CRICKETS???!!! Jesus H. Pedro in a hopped up Chrysler.
I mean it's not like you're the worst offender, LilBrat, but man, that was the last straw. Amp it up, people! If I wanted to piss around with one word sentences, I would be on the Mornington Crescent thread right now.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
You dare compare that random word generation thread with this one!
Even the most low of us, pardon BtL, can muster better than that Alzheimer's delight of a thread.
You want creation, give me better materials to work with.
Micharlangelo needed more than wet sand.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Only God creates. To claim the word 'creation' for the pitiful artistic attempts of mortals is blasphemous idolatry. And even worse, you use the word for Michelangelo the apotheosis of decadent Western Roman Catholic painting. The only true art is when a holy Orthodox monk dedicates himself to icon painting only picking up his pen to make each separate brush stroke after a year of prayer and fasting.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Dafyd, I respectfully suggest that you emulate that excellent Orthodox monk you refer to -- moving slowly, thoughtfully, with extreme care, and with a concern for truth. In other words, don't jump so impulsively into topics you know nothing about. "Only God creates," indeed! This is confuted definitively in Jer 18:3. But perhaps you are one of those who doesn't "like" Jeremiah. Or, worse, has never heard of him.
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
That's right - import that facebook* rubbish onto this high quality website and lower the tone!
*I have heard rumours that "like" is a facebook "thing" - not that I ever frequent social networking sites like that. The Ship is the only one for me.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Lower the tone!
Of all people who might talk about lowering the tone I never, ever thought that you would have the nerve!
Pots calling kettles right here, folks!
--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
If I wanted to piss around with one word sentences, I would be on the Mornington Crescent thread right now.
I won that once and I used three-word sentences!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
Kev, mate, a word to the wise. Boasting of your purported success on other less worthy threads in the Circus will not cut the mustard here. You are now among the creme de la creme. I acknowledge that it is highly tempting to take up the cudgels (or even the baseball bat) where Psycho-bunny is concerned, but let's face it, if we all spent our time pointing out her mistakes and gently putting her right, we would have precious little time to spend on more important matters. Admittedly, correcting her egregious errors whilst simultaneously pointing out your own superiority is, in a sense, quite smart, but I think you'll find that the more seasoned participants in this thread are on to your shabby stratagems.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Look, Bunnymocking isn't fair. It isn't witty. It's not even hard. It's like kicking cute little puppies or setting fire to busloads of nuns—you know they're not going to fight back, so after a while, it just becomes dull, something you do out of habit more than because you still enjoy it. So let those of us whose appointed cross it is continue to bear it and drain our ink pointing out her faults (tsk tsk, you've let your axe go dull again), but only because Somebody's Got To Do It.
Our job. Not yours. Got it, delidweller?
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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