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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Offencesenslessness
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Oy! Who are you, and where do you get off thinking anyone is going to stop me from terrifying anyone, especially those people who have been here too damn long? I resent your implication that it only takes a few questions and a headshake of disapproval at the Pingu to silence me! Dear sir, I do not shut up that easily, oh no!
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh. And Where the hell have you been?
Nice of you to grace us with your presence. You start the Mafia thread and all of a sudden you are too good for us . Abandoning us at our hour of need--and if you look back at the last several posts, you will agree we are quite needy. *
And then you swan in here and demand the right to speak . Speak the hell up!
* I speak collectively, not individually.
[ 19. January 2014, 03:50: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Four months later, and I still get the same thing. I don't know about you, but, where I'm from, the usual greeting is "Hello. How are you today?" I see that you learned some other salutation, though; if I may, I'd suggest that you try something more along the lines of what I suggested. You might be surprised at the results!
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Hello, how are you today?
And stop bringing up old stuff.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Very well, thank you. My wife left me, my boss fired me, and my dog got run over by a truck. How are you?
Oh, wait, I forget, you're just observing taught social formalities, rather than actually caring. If you can't be bothered to make an effort and ask me, say, where I was during a long and no doubt interesting leave of absence, I don't see why you shouldn't just keep quiet and let those of us who have mastered the art of politeness chat amongst ourselves.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Now, then
Enough of this puling.
Even the cats next door are covering their ears.
Don't you have any self-respect?
You? Why am I asking.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Show off.
What do you think this is, the acrostic thread?
And to top it all, you end it with a question but no question mark.
This sloppiness is unworthy of the grandeur of this thread, which is, without question (and therefore un-needing of a question mark) second finest thread on the whole boards (second only to Everlasting Sentences).
Pull yourself together, woman, and pay a bit more attention to the quality of your posts.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh you try poking at an Ipad mini at a cafe in squinty darkness without a stylus. Effort? You don't know the effort that took. None of you do. All wrapped up in your selfish little words, do you see how I suffer? how I sacrifice? Of course not. But let one tiny piece of punctuation go astray,a nd suddenly I am center stage at Carnegie Hall.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
You know, if you didn't complain so loudly about us pointing out your typos, we wouldn't do it so much. In the end, you have only yourself to blame. Nobody. But yourself. Don't blame us for your own foibles.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
I thought Kelly Alves was a college-educated person? Yet, she still makes vast grammatical mistakes and tries to blame others for her very human failings. Hmmph. It offends my sense of pure righteousness. It's difficult to deal with the likes of... ALL of you! I'm perfect and it pains me to share oxygen with inferior beings. Oh, the price I pay to being terrestrial bound.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I may make the occasional typographical flub here and there (" Vast?" ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ), but at least I can follow rules, I would never think of bruising his needy little heart and ignoring his ample offensiveness. Please be more considerate in the future, and don't step over your offense-mates.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
I am offended on behalf of all long-legged people. Although blessed with short legs myself, I empathise with those whose physical anomalies result in an elongated stride. And yet there you are, telling them not to step over people. They can't help it, you prejudiced person! Their legs are simply made that way. It doesn't make them any less worthy of our pity and patronising platitudes. Not everyone can waddle.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Oooh! Hark at you! 'I can waddle, you can't!' What a show off!
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
I'm offended at myself. Really, I should be more kind to all and sundry, lest I become unsundered from the mortal coil.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
I'm offended that you're making this all about you. Really, I'm quite sure that Raptor Eye offers you a plethora of characteristics that you could have picked out to be offended by. And then you have to go and compound it all by using complicated words like "unsundered". We don't all carry the Oxford English Dictionary around in our heads you know!
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
Lucia, I'm offended that you didn't realize my semi-apology was directed at Kelly. My goodness, doesn't ANYONE on this planet understand me?
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I am offended that Lucia had the termerity to make a post between two made by The5thMary, who could have been offended at her own self if she had not.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You think you're pretty damn funny, don't you, buddy?
Don't you see that lucia's-- well admitted feeble post sandwiched between Mary's-- well, they aren't much better, tell the truth-- spared her from breaking protocol yet again and offending everyone living or dead?
Someone's always gotta put their two cents in.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I am offended you mentioned cents. They are no more in Canada. I want nickels!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
No, no, no prophet. Sixth word spelled incorrectly.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
And suddenly we're back to bad puns. Oh dear. Yes, jadies and lentlemen, goys and hurls, it's our favorite punster, the one who confuses wordplay and one-liners for cleverness! O the shame! O the humanity! How can we not be offended at such an assault on proper civilized use of communicative media? The Internet will not long bear your sins, nor the World Wide Web your outrages!
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
Just demonstrating your membership again of the spelling pedants club are you lilBuddha?
Damn, now I'm offended that stupid flood protection on the ship delays my post and Ariston weaseled his way in before me.
[ 22. January 2014, 15:58: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
You lot want better effort? Leave better raw material. Comedic peasants.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And someone who uses the term 'Big Fella' makes out he knows all about the heresies that offend others.......
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Extravagant and frivolous use of ellipses there. It's "dot dot dot", not morse code!
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
Actually, it was "dot dot dot dot dot dot". Please get it right. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Starbug, if you were keeping up, you would see that our learned penguin (and by learned I mean "pedantic and meddling") was demonstrating the correct way to form ellipses.
As tedious as it is, proper folk know when to graciously give space to unsolicited opinions.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
Well, you certainly know how to give unsolicited opinions, Kelly. I will sit at your feet and take notes.
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
What's this "we" business? Just because you are not into feet you don't necessarily speak for everyone. I'm sure somewhere amongst the crew there will be several who have quite a thing for feet...
(Note correct number of dots!)
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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goperryrevs
Shipmtae
# 13504
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Posted
Bully for you, Lucia.
But can we please give punctuation marks their correct names? An ellipsis is made of three full stops (or periods). Not 'dots'. Or shall we just start calling asterisks 'stars', tildes 'squiggles' and hashes 'noughts and crosses'?
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"Keep your eye on the donut, not on the hole." - David Lynch
Posts: 2098 | From: Midlands | Registered: Mar 2008
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
Why not call a nasterisk a star, for heavens' sake? I have never seen a hymn book with the pedantic instruction "asterisked verses may be omitted". Why I can't even pronounce that without fear of losing my teeth period period period
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
What in heaven's name is a "nasterisk"? Is it something dirty? I am offended before I know what it is because it sounds dirty!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
* I speak collectively, not individually.
Oh dear, oh deary, deary me ...
Still hearing the voices, Bun-buns?
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Well shiver me timbers, lookie here what the cat dragged in. First Starbug and, as if that weren't enough, you. Am I going to have to listen to another round of bad BLT jokes from Bovine Bodhisatva again, all thanks to you?
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
On behalf of cat lovers everywhere, I resent the suggestion that cats would drag in anything tasteless
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
How can a flightless bird claim to speak on behalf of cat lovers? They are completely different species. I, too, am offended on behalf of the cat lovers, despite despising them because they love those horrible feline furbags!
And as for the washing machine person, I suppose I should be grateful for being lumped in with the Singing Siddhartha, or whatever his name is. Pah! I care nothing for your name-dropping. To quote St Midge of Ure, it means nothing to me, oh Vienna.
[ 24. January 2014, 16:09: Message edited by: Starbug ]
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
Thank you, Frigidaire, for your effusive welcome, expertly hidden as ever under your faux nonchalance. And dearest little Tweetie, you're bang on the button, so to speak, this time the cat has not dragged in anything tasteless at all. C'est moi! (and just in time, from what I have been reading ...)
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Hmm... what was that cat playing at? Look, I know Starbug is indeed a shining example of a bug - irritating in the extreme - but even bugs have a right not to be ignored on this thread. Play the game, will you, lanky.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Below the Lansker
Shipmate
# 17297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Smudgie:
... Starbug is indeed a shining example of a bug - irritating in the extreme ...
By far the worst thing you can do to an irritating itch is scratch it, Tweets. If I were to acknowledge every contributor to the thread, we would be here forever. By drawing attention to the fact that I have only engaged with my very special friends (i.e., the power-crazed in-crowd), you have inadvertently highlighted the lowly status of the rest of the hoi-polloi. Noblesse oblige and all that - you have rather let the side down by flaunting your special status.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
"Power-crazed in-crowd?" Moi? Why, are any of those things true? As Budhette would no doubt point out, people have to like you for you to be in the in-crowd, and I think Bun-Bun is keeping an especially close eye on me after that incident with a bottle of Fernet Branca, a giraffe, two potted tomato plants, and the "delete ship" button.
Also, you're supposed to have pity and solicitude for the crazy mad scientist types. Would you like a job as my minion?
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Honestly, Aristonandonandon, you're supposed to be a host and yet you go letting me down, firstly by posting in a foreign language without translation, which you know is against the rules, and then by trying to poach my minions.
Get your own.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Mad scientist type? You are more like a mad puppy. Kels needs to keep you on a leash in order to prevent you weeing all over other boards, though she has been remiss lately.
And Smudgie, one does not poach minions, one sautés them with shallots and a port wine reduction.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
You say that as if there is only one authorised way to enjoy a minion. Whatever happened to creativity and originality? If Smudgie wants to indulge in a little poaching so what? As long as she is not stealing them from me in the dead of night I don't see any problem with that.
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
Oh, dear. Lucia is a Smudgie-apologist! Hmmph! This is beyond the pale. I'm offended that the flightless one is getting succor when no one ever wants to help me...
Didn't P.T. Barnum once say, "There's a succor born every minute?" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
How could you bring up Barnum, famous for having crowds stare at unusual people?
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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