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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: 2014, a Ship year in preview
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Alban
Shipmate
# 9047
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Posted
Sometimes it's not hard to see what's coming, even here on the ship. Let's see what's coming for the year ahead, with a thread title and a summary of the contents.
Calling Comet to Hell
Somewhere around July, A newish shipmate will call Comet downstairs to complain about her calling them naughty, unchristian words when sending the dead horse topic they created off to where it belongs. The carnage will be enjoyed by all and talked about for years.
So, what else do you see coming?
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Whoever you are, wherever you go, Hophtrig is your friend!
Posts: 722 | From: Under a (long white) cloud | Registered: Feb 2005
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Herrick
Shipmate
# 15226
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Posted
Somebody finding Martin PC difficult to understand.
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A careless shoestring in whose tie
I see a wild civility
Posts: 1194 | From: NSW | Registered: Oct 2009
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Gentle Injunction:
I would like to remind everyone that this is the Circus, not Hell; as such, all Commandments and board guidelines, including those dealing with personal attacks and insults, are in effect. Keep it fun, keep it funny, or take it to Hell.
—Ariston, Circus Host
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Hell will be closed
By Order.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
The Hosts and Admins - God bless 'em - will cause complete and utter havoc on or around April Fool's Day by altering thread titles/locations thus causing much weeping and gnashing of teeth by all Shippies.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
We're there now. Is that all there is?
![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
The term wankbadger, devised by Jade Constable, will be picked up by some British comedian such as Bill Bailey or Harry Hill.
ETA: That'll be a challenge to those looking after "The Ship in the Media"!
[ 06. January 2014, 07:54: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
Somebody will join the Ship and shortly afterwards start a thread in The Styx complaining about swearing on a Christian website
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Several people will get into such a vicious and violent theological argument with each other that most of the rest of us will want to toss 'em overboard, and hold hands while singing "Imagine".
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
And some people will be in such joyous accord that they'll make everyone else sick of sappiness.
It'll balance out. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Someone will link to the last time someone started a thread like this. (It always happens, so no reason not to suppose it will happen in 2014.)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Somebody will join the Ship and shortly afterwards start a thread in The Styx complaining about swearing on a Christian website
Well, then we'll be in a world of shite!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
In March, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.
In May, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.
In October, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.
Remarkably, ever one of these OPs will be written as if the poster was the first person to ever think of the idea.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Nooooooooo!!! Lord have mercy!!!
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
The Hosts and Admins - God bless 'em - will cause complete and utter havoc on or around April Fool's Day by altering thread titles/locations thus causing much weeping and gnashing of teeth by all Shippies.
Let's face it, we are never going to top last time, when it coincided with a Pope's resignation.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
January 25th 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. The Admins point out that they are well aware of the need for an upgrade, and are looking at options.
February 1st 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Spike rolls his eyes in exasperation.
February 23rd 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Marvin starts drinking.
March 8th 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Kelly punches a puppy.
April 29th 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Tubbs punches through a wall.
May 18th 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. RooK bites through a steel girder.
June 1st 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Alan Cresswell utters a mild obscenity.
July 12th 2014
After a week-long break during which the Ship is offline, the long-awaited software upgrade is finally revealed. The new boards are faster and more resilient, the new fully-integrated Cafe is a marvel of user friendliness, and the search function actually works even for Oblivion.
July 13th 2014
Six different Shipmates start threads in Styx complaining about how crap the new software is and how much better the old system was.
July 14th 2014
The Admins, in a fit of exasperation brought on by having to deal with all the bloody moaning, resign en masse. The six complainers step into the vacant Admin roles.
July 21st 2014
The new Admins finally realise what they've let themselves in for. Two delete their own profiles just to escape, one is sectioned by his concerned family after ten straight hours of rocking back and forth in a chair mumbling about trollpuppets, and one features on the late-night news having attempted to destroy the internet itself by bombing AOL's corporate headquarters. The remaining two resolve to track down their predecessors in an attempt to get them to take over again.
September 30th 2014
The only former Admin not yet located, RooK, is found in an armoured bunker just north of Barquisimento, Venezuala. On being visited by a delegation seeking to get him to return to the Admin role he expresses a mild unwillingness to do so. There are no survivors.
November 9th 2014
After being visited by a second - more cautious - delegation, RooK admits that he was just kidding about the whole "not wanting to return" thing and says he'd be delighted to come back. There are no survivors.
November 20th 2014
The original Admins make their triumphant return to the Ship. Over the next few weeks they painstakingly work to repair the damage caused by the four months of misrule.
December 16th 2014
The boards are back to normal.
December 17th 2014
A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. There are no survivors.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) Bravo, my friend!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Marvin, I want you to have my babies.
that was beautiful, man.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Marvin, I want you to have my babies.
Hey, let's leave something for the 2015 thread to talk about
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
November 9th 2014
After being visited by a second - more cautious - delegation, RooK admits that he was just kidding about the whole "not wanting to return" thing and says he'd be delighted to come back. There are no survivors.
Somewhere in there should be the Sentence : "But this time no more Mr. Nice Guy."
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Welease Woderwick will take a year's holiday from the Ship so you lot can catch up with him as WW's post count goes up into the stratosphere. I can welcome new members also, you know and I am still working...
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
The worst part about all this is that I can see the URLs, I know what I'm clicking on, but I have to click the links. I hate all of you.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
The worst part about all this is that I can see the URLs, I know what I'm clicking on, but I have to click the links. I hate all of you.
Consider yourself lucky. There are those who post a huge string with separate links for every damned word.
So to what remains of 2014. Someone will get shore leave for excessive links.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
April 2014: a new visitor discovers the Celebrity Death Pool and complains about it in the Styx.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
September: Comet will have Marvin's babies.
November: Marvin will ask for them back.
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
July: RooK, RuthW, Kelly, Marvin and just about everyone who has been a Hellhost past or present will jointly and severally declare the redundancy of TICTH on the grounds that no one knows what it's for nowadays. The GIN bottles will lie knee-deep in the Hosts' lounge.
No compensation will be offered or paid to anyone, for any reason.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Someone will start a thread asking about the Freemasons.
This thread will come to include...
-a few reminiscenses about some nice old clergymen who were Masons, so therefore "I don't see how anyone can say it's not Christian."
-someone's recollection of talking to an older male relative who once participated in and/or witnessed a Masonic ritual, and how he thought "it all seemed very sinister."
-funny anecdotes about crazy preachers in Smalltown Wherever who think Masonry is a tool of the devil.
-disgruntled anecdotes about some local asshat who always had Masonic bumper stickers on his car and never got a parking ticket.
Bonus points if someone quotes the song from the Simpsons.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
August: I shall finally grasp the nettle, bite the bullet and take the plunge.
September: Out of hospital, I shall post the gospel according to pimple. There will be three replies. I shall be called to Hell by newbie R****** D******
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Progress report required wankbadgers
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Clearly the Ship's business needs more attention. Wankbadgers awaaay !!!
DT
Circstyx Host
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Booiing!
Firenze
Thingie Whatever Host
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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