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Source: (consider it) Thread: Eurovision Song Contest
Gill H

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# 68

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Less than an hour to the first semi-final, and no thread yet? So I'm starting one.

Hugal's nipped out for snacks, the Baileys is open and my typing fingers are ready to start making notes. I'll post my traditional reviews of the shenanigans at some point on this thread.

As for our song this year, well, at least it will stand out as a bit of fun amid a sea of earnestly belted ballads. OK, so it may sound like a cross between a 1920s Charleston ditty and the Birds Eye Potato Waffles song, but at least it sticks in the brain.

Let the snark-fest begin!

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Snark-fest?

I see it more as a celebration of the camp, cheesy, awkward and downright naff.

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Gill H

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# 68

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Trust me, there'll be plenty of snark on this thread.

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- Lyda Rose

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Alan Cresswell

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# 31

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Go Australia!

Actually, I've not heard any of the songs (if that's the correct word) yet this year. But, the word "Eurovision" does sort of imply European ... and Australia. Love it.

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Mr Curly

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# 5518

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quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Go Australia!

Actually, I've not heard any of the songs (if that's the correct word) yet this year. But, the word "Eurovision" does sort of imply European ... and Australia. Love it.

Still can't work out why we're there, but bring it on! What happens if we win??

mr curly
down under

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Sipech
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# 16870

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I caught a tiny bit of it last night, but hadn't been drinking so it looked awful. Definitely need to neck a few shots of schnapps early on Saturday night.

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Alan Cresswell

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# 31

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quote:
Originally posted by Mr Curly:
Still can't work out why we're there, but bring it on!

Someone in an Australian broadcasting company paid a great wad of cash?

quote:
What happens if we win??
In theory, you get to host the contest next year.

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Kittyville
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# 16106

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Something to do with how big a deal it is here, Mr Curly, and the SBS is an associate member of the European Broadcasting Union, or something like that.

And apparently not, Alan - although the EBU might be missing a trick if we do win and they stick to that position.

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Wet Kipper
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# 1654

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I heard that this year is a "trial run" for teh Aussies, and if they win then they will be a regular feature in further years, at which point another win would mean hosting the next one, as everyone else is forced to do

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Heavenly Anarchist
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# 13313

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I usually miss Eurovision, as I lack a TV, but this year friends have invited us over to celebrate with them [Big Grin]

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lilBuddha
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# 14333

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Celebrate. One of us is unsure of the meaning of this word.

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Alex Cockell

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# 7487

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T-minus 3 mins to 2nd semi on BBC3 - other channels here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_Song_Contest_2015
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Alex Cockell

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# 7487

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On air..
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Ariel
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# 58

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If Australia are in it then it's gone global and it needs to change its name and become The Globovision Song contest, or something.

It's not the same as when it had Terry in it and the whole thing took three hours with commentary like "Hello everybody from beautiful Malta. The weather is fine and hot and you [to host] are looking super exquisite and utterly charming tonight" with whatever equally witty response then drowned out by Terry muttering "Just get on with it" in a tone of quiet despair.

"And here are the results of the Maltese jury. Finland, one point." Which would immediately be echoed by someone else in French, "Finland, un point". Slowly and excruciatingly until it became clear who had Nul Points and would be safe from having to host the contest for the next year.

Ah, those were the days.

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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It's been years since anything but novelty songs were on Eurovision. The average pub band writes stuff that's better than most Eurovision winners, never mind the also-runs. The whole thing would depress me if it weren't so laughable.

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
I usually miss Eurovision, as I lack a TV, but this year friends have invited us over to celebrate with them [Big Grin]

We celebrate not only with booze, but with cheese. It seems appropriate.

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
The whole thing would depress me if it weren't so laughable.

It would depress me if I watched it sober. That is why I enjoy it.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
If Australia are in it then it's gone global

It's not as if Israel or Azerbaijan are exactly European either.

I only caught some of it - but there seemed to be a thing for having a woman in a chiffon dress standing in a wind tunnel against a backdrop of blasted forest.

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Heavenly Anarchist
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# 13313

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quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
I usually miss Eurovision, as I lack a TV, but this year friends have invited us over to celebrate with them [Big Grin]

We celebrate not only with booze, but with cheese. It seems appropriate.
A good point, I will ensure I take some cheese with me in case we haven't had our fill.
I must make some voting paddles, my own point scheme is usually based on the their choice of outfits.

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bib
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# 13074

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I'm surprised anyone watches that rubbish. At least I'm spared it in Oz as it will be on in the middle of the night.

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David
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# 3

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Eurovision hasn't been the same for me since "My Lovely Horse" came last.
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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
It's been years since anything but novelty songs were on Eurovision.

I liked last year's final enough to buy the CD.

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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
It's been years since anything but novelty songs were on Eurovision.

Given that the Common Linnets'song is still memorable a year later, I would beg to differ
Just shame it didn't win.

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by David:
Eurovision hasn't been the same for me since "My Lovely Horse" came last.

Yes, I agree. That was a clear winner in my view. All the effort that went into that, too.

[ 22. May 2015, 11:07: Message edited by: Ariel ]

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The Rogue
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# 2275

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A bit of a disaster in the Rogue household - we are going camping over the weekend so will have to enjoy it on the radio without being able to see (except in our minds) what is going on. You never know: if we like it we might always do it that way.

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Gee D
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# 13815

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
It's been years since anything but novelty songs were on Eurovision.

I liked last year's final enough to buy the CD.
Not sure what conclusion to draw from that.

Given that this is Aust's first year in the event, it's amazing just how little attention it's drawing here. Not on the SMH website (or the ABC News one either), no front page on other papers, no sounds of people talking about it on the trains. Someone has probably done a fair sum of money on it.

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
A bit of a disaster in the Rogue household - we are going camping over the weekend so will have to enjoy it on the radio without being able to see (except in our minds) what is going on. You never know: if we like it we might always do it that way.

In the days of the much missed Ray Moore we always listened to his commentary. So much better than Terry Wogan, who did the TV.

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Gee D
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# 13815

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Or listening to Johnny Moyes's cricket commentaries on the radio while watching the game of the tv screen, tv turned to silent.

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Gill H

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# 68

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Eurovision Semi 1

As I’m a bit late with my reviews this year, I will concentrate on those acts that didn’t make it through to the final, so that I can save some surprises for Saturday.

Vienna. City of waltzes, pastry and moody 1980s pop videos. But thanks to the impressive performance of Conchita Wurst last year, it's now been invaded by the annual celebration of kitsch, spectacle and downright weirdness that is the Eurovision Song Contest. And so, in a living room somewhere in West London, my hubby and I sit with glasses of Baileys at the ready, to see what delights the first semi-final has in store for us.

Our hosts Scott Mills and Mel Giedroyc welcome us to the evening, after a warning that it features ‘repetitive flashing images’. That probably sums up quite a few of the acts, we suspect. Anyway, we start off with what looks like an elaborate fizzy drink advert, where famous landmarks are shown drawn in brightly coloured bubbles. Then we’re in the hall, where a huge net of lights twists and turns above the audience. The stage is apparently ‘a portal’ connecting the different countries, which somehow is supposed to reinforce the theme of ‘building bridges’ (no, it wasn’t very clear to me either…) It looks unnervingly like the Eye of Sauron sometimes.

Last year’s winner, Conchita (who’s evidently dropped the Wurst by now), reprises ‘Rise Like A Phoenix’ and calls up the acts performing tonight, who walk through what looks like a crowd of extras from Amadeus. Well, we are in the land of Mozart. Then we meet our hosts Miriam, Alice and Arabella who start the proceedings. The UK can’t vote tonight, so we are free to just relax, have a Baileys or two and enjoy the Euro-craziness.

Which starts with…

Moldova
Evidently inspired by George Michael videos, the singer is frisked by some sexy cops in very tight outfits, who even rip off his shirt at one point. I’m sure the Moldovan police force are on the phone right now, complaining about the misrepresentation of their excellent policing methods. There is actually a song happening as well – reminds us rather of Hear’say, and will probably be around for about as long as they were.

Armenia – they qualified, so I’ll review them at the final
Belgium – qualified

Netherlands
The first thing we notice is that the logos for the countries are that country’s flag in a circle, using the ‘bubbles’ theme from earlier. Which means the Netherlands logo looks like it might get sued by Pepsi any minute. Anyway, let’s concentrate on the singer, a girl in ill-advised black culottes who rips off her black lace veil and storms into a forgettable mid-tempo song. The chorus mostly consists of the word ‘Why’, or as she sings it ‘Why aye aye aye’ which leads us to wonder if she’s actually a Geordie in disguise.

Finland
A punk band comprised of people with learning difficulties, who are entering the contest with a stated aim of ‘raising awareness’. Certainly a first at Eurovision, though let’s not forget that Finland gave us Lordi, so clearly they like to push those boundaries. The song is the shortest ever Eurovision entry at 1 minute 40 seconds. Much as I applaud the idea of their inclusion in the contest, the song is really not my thing.

Then we see Conchita in the green room making small talk, while most of Europe has an ad break. And soon we’re back with …

Greece – qualified
Estonia – qualified

Fyr Macedonia
A male singer in an Inspector Clouseau coat sings in front of a temple. The song is about autumn leaves, which are drifting profusely on the screen behind him. Except they are moving up instead of down. Did someone put the disk in the wrong way up? As for the song, all I can say is it’s a bit flat, though not as flat as the singer. Please make it stop.

Serbia - qualified
Hungary - qualified

Belarus
An earnest guy belting out ‘Time is like thunder, ha ha!’ Er, OK then. Meanwhile a moody girl shows off her violin skills. It’s all a bit Phantom.

Russia - qualified

Europe has another ad break, and Mel chats with the Australian entry Guy Sebastian. Then it’s back for…

Denmark - qualified

Albania
She’s got a glittery cloak, a quavery voice and a rather casual relationship to the correct key. I’m not sure she’s really into her performance. At one point she stretches out her arm for an emotional ‘reaching out’ move, and it turns into a cheeky wave to the camera. What next, mid-song selfies?

Romania - qualified
Georgia - qualified

And that’s all tonight’s acts. For what it’s worth, if I’d been voting I would have gone for Belgium, Serbia or Denmark, largely because they were a nice change from the parade of sylph-like women in long dresses and anguished expressions singing moody songs with shouty choruses.

Back to Conchita in the green room, then we get a clip of Mel working in a Vienna cake shop (she evidently can’t stay away from cake) and schmoozing with some of the contestants. After this we get to meet our entry, Electro Velvet, who Mel memorably describes as ‘The Great Gatsby meets Tron’. We have a quick recap of 60 years of Eurovision with Scott, and then a chat with ‘Doctor Eurovision’, before our three hosts attempt to explain why the heck Australia is suddenly eligible to enter (short version: they really, really wanted to). And we’re given a quick preview of the acts who have automatically qualified for the final: the traditional ‘Big 5’ of UK, Spain, Italy, Germany and France (because we put most of the money in), last year’s winner Austria (because it would be a bit embarrassing if the hosts didn’t get through) and, er, Australia, because, oh heck, why not?

Finally the results are in, and the ten qualifiers are

Albania
Armenia
Russia
Romania
Hungary
Greece
Estonia
Georgia
Serbia
Belgium

That’s it for Semi-Final 1. Time to recharge our glasses for Semi-Final 2.

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- Lyda Rose

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Given that this is Aust's first year in the event, it's amazing just how little attention it's drawing here. Not on the SMH website (or the ABC News one either), no front page on other papers, no sounds of people talking about it on the trains.

Funny you should say that. This afternoon I overheard an Australian colleague explaining enthusiastically how it's really big in Australia and everybody is very into it.

I wouldn't have expected it had made much impact on the national consciousness, but maybe some of the expats over here have caught the Eurovision bug.

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Gill H

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# 68

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Semi 2 - my review

And we’re back with the scary Eye of Sauron portal stage. The three hosts are a bit more glam tonight in their sparkly dresses, while Conchita has kept it simple in a black trouser suit which only has one sleeve. Surely the budget could have stretched to two?

More entrants invited on stage, more Mozart dancing, yada yada. The whole crowd are encouraged to yell ‘Good morning Australia’, and then the hosts check the pyrotechnics and the wind machine. Sorry, is this the tech run? But fortunately everything works and we’re straight into…

Lithuania – they qualified, so I’ll review them at the final

Ireland
I really want to like Ireland. It’s a wistful 6/8 piano ballad, written and sung by a young teenage girl who also plays the piano. Sadly her voice is rather grating, and the song just sends me back to the Baileys. Sorry Ireland, but at least you didn’t send Jeward this time.

San Marino
A sweet teenage duo who look like they’ve come straight from High School Musical. Ominously, the Deathstar appears to be in the sky behind them for some reason. The song features out of tune singing, a sudden switch to a completely different song half way through, and most worryingly, a talky bit. Should be enough to ensure they don’t get through.

Montenegro - qualified

Malta
The second entry this year whose song is called ‘Warrior’. She’s not as goth as the previous one, though there is still plenty of black leather in evidence. It’s yet another ballad with the obligatory snoozy verse and strident chorus. Next please.

Conchita in green room. Green is the colour of hope? Envy surely?

Norway - qualified

Portugal
A girl in a long blue cloak and black patent trousers, which is an interesting combo to say the least. More strident singing of yet another mid-tempo ballad, but at least she is singing in her own language this time.

Czech Republic
Taking inspiration from last year, there’s lush Bond-esque orchestration aplenty. A black clad duo emote to a doomy 6/8 piano ballad. At one point the girl throws off her shoes. Well, it’s been a long evening.

Israel – qualified
Latvia - qualified
Azerbaijan - qualified

Iceland
She’s dressed as a pink fairy, but she should have saved some magic for her singing voice. She belts out a song about letting go – but don’t worry, it’s not THAT one. I think she’s letting go of the tune though.

We take a break for a quick look at Electro Velvet, then back with:

Sweden - qualified

Switzerland
Seriously, aren’t we over Twilight by now? A dramatic girl in a blue cloak, which soon comes off to reveal a sparkly white dress. She sings in a stark winter landscape, surrounded inexplicably by men with drums. Like Iceland, she sings about how she’s learned to let it go – evidently another Frozen fan.

Cyprus - qualified
Slovenia - qualified
Poland - qualified

And that’s all the acts tonight. We vote for Cyprus and Israel – neither of which I have described above, but both of which have endeared themselves to me for entirely different reasons. You’ll have to wait till Saturday to find out exactly why.

After the usual green room bits, interviews and previous, the hosts show a montage of voting gaffes from years gone by, ending with the comment ‘How’s that for Throwback Thursday?’ Indeed. And so to the announcement of the qualifiers, who are:

Lithuania
Poland
Slovenia
Sweden
Norway
Montenegro
Cyprus
Azerbaijan
Latvia
Israel

Time to clear up and prepare for the marathon of Saturday night. Gute nacht, alles.

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Thank you GillH. Your round up was as witty and concise as ever.

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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Given that this is Aust's first year in the event, it's amazing just how little attention it's drawing here. Not on the SMH website (or the ABC News one either), no front page on other papers, no sounds of people talking about it on the trains. Someone has probably done a fair sum of money on it.

What on earth are you talking about? The ABC News website has had Eurovision-related stories all week!

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Given that this is Aust's first year in the event, it's amazing just how little attention it's drawing here. Not on the SMH website (or the ABC News one either), no front page on other papers, no sounds of people talking about it on the trains. Someone has probably done a fair sum of money on it.

What on earth are you talking about? The ABC News website has had Eurovision-related stories all week!
Other broadcasting networks are available (as They say).

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Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Other broadcasting networks are available (as They say).

Um... which rather misses the point that ABC was the one that Gee D specifically cited.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Mili

Shipmate
# 3254

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Eurovision is pretty big in Melbourne, though I think it's only become a thing in the last decade or so. It's been showing here for 30 years, but previously was mainly watched by people who were born in or had parents from the competing countries. I remember my Serbian/Croatian friend (who now supports Serbia) complaining about Ireland always winning in the 1990s.
Posts: 1015 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kittyville
Shipmate
# 16106

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I'm with Orfeo - I've seen plenty of print and online coverage, including latterly about how much SBS might have had to bung the European Broadcasting Union to get Guy a guernsey.

I'm another one for whom Eurovision isn't really Eurovision without Terry Wogan.

Posts: 291 | From: Sydney | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Ready.

The goulash is Hungarian.
The Tiramisu is Italian.
The wine is Spanish
The cheese is French and Dutch.
The crackers are British.
Shame That Ireland are not in to go with the whiskey.

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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Snacks on, TV on, coconut water present, whiskey present, antipasto present, oatabix present - eurovision is go !

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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"Act like a woman, and vote !" [Cool]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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OMG the Slovenian woman's voice is dreadful !

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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The mime is even worse.

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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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I do prefer my violinists with an instrument

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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"When the blood dries, I pledge to rebuild my village more beautiful than before, but don't forget" not terribly upbeat ...

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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At last, a Euro fun song from Israel. There are pitching problems, but ho cares.

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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Estonia look good, but not too taken with the sound. Us next [Smile]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Garasu
Shipmate
# 17152

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Kind of fun. But Eurovision?

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"Could I believe in the doctrine without believing in the deity?". - Modesitt, L. E., Jr., 1943- Imager.

Posts: 889 | From: Surrey Heath (England) | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Ooh that was rather fun, we might be in with a shot.

(The subtitles were fun, skiddie-dee-dee-do-wop indeed)

[ 23. May 2015, 19:41: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Garasu
Shipmate
# 17152

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If he'd avoided the Jungle Book section...

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"Could I believe in the doctrine without believing in the deity?". - Modesitt, L. E., Jr., 1943- Imager.

Posts: 889 | From: Surrey Heath (England) | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Do we think the Armenian's "don't deny" is a dig at the Turks ?

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged



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