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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Crappy Choruses & Horrible Hymns redux (Page 5)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Crappy Choruses & Horrible Hymns redux
flev
Shipmate
# 3187

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Apologies for returning to a type of "crappy chorus" discussed a couple of pages ago, but I recently heard a song designed for kids which in my opinion was the absolute epitomy of awfulness.

I quote:

Jesus, you are wonderful,
Jesus, you are great.
You put a smile upon my face
And washed my sins away.

And I will jump, jump, jump around,
And lift your name on high.
Jump, jump, jump around,
'Cos you are in my life


As you might imagine, it's obligatory to "jump, jump, jump around" in the chorus - possibly an attempt to tire out the kids in preparation for the next song.

Oh yes, and it's one of those songs which is endlessly repeated, getting faster and faster.

Grrr....

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Newman's Own
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This one, which I vaguely remember, came to me today when I was doing my laundry... so it must beg to be shared. Unfortunately, it loses much of its impact if one cannot hear the dreadful tune.

Spirit of God in the clear running water,
Calling to greatness the trees on the hill,
Spirit of God in the finger of morning,
Fill the earth, bring it to birth, and blow where you will.

Blow, blow, blow till I be,
But breath of the Spirit blowing in me.

Down in the meadows the willows are moaning,
Sheep in the pasture land cannot lie still,
Spirit of God, creation is groaning.
Fill the earth, bring it to birth, and blow where you will.

Blow, blow, blow till I be,
But breath of the Spirit blowing in me.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Assistant Village Idiot
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# 3266

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Ooh. ooh. ooh.

How many campfire song leaders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

--------------------
formerly Logician

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Assistant Village Idiot
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# 3266

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Only one. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

Christian campfire songs are probably too easy a target. They aren't supposed to be high culture, and simplistic theology is not inappropriate.

Nonetheless, "Father Abraham" is absolutely boggling -- in both versions. The first three lines and the repeated actions are standard dumb. The parallel structure of the first two lines is actually a a wee bit better.

But the last line of verse doesn't rhyme, doesn't scan, doesn't even complete the thought. Both versions, "For God loves me and you" or "So let's just praise the Lord" seem utterly random, as if they wandered in from someone else's campfire across the lake.

--------------------
formerly Logician

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Laudate Dominum
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# 3104

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Apologies if anyone posted this already, but:

Our God is an awesome God
He reins from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God.


(sung to a horrible pop-type tune, with handsigns [Puke] )
A priest (who incidentally had a very unkempt beard and played the guitar) taught my classmates and I to sing this while we were on retreat. He actually admonished the ones who refused to sing along, saying that we were not sufficiently enthusiastic about praising God. I may be scarred for life.

Oh, and has anyone else had to endure songs by the Gaither family? Because he liiiives, I can face tomorrow; because he liiiiives, all fear is goooone; because I knooooow he holds the future, my life is worth the living, just because he liiiiiives....

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"They think us barbarians because we cling to the past. We think them barbarians because they do not cling to the past." --G.K. Chesterton

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Sauerkraut
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# 3112

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I most sincerely appologise if "Shine, Jesus, Shine" has been addressed already. If it has, it probably hasn't been addressed in this way: have you ever heard "Shine, Jesus, Shine" on a pipe organ? If you haven't, save yourself the trouble. I've been through it, and I would rather have my head slammed into a brick wall than hear that attrocious combination again. That song was last played over a year ago. I told the pastors I would leave if that song was ever played again. Fortunately, my threat carries some weight since I am the bell choir director.

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We want not an amalgam or compromise, but both things at the top of their energy; love and wrath both burning. Christianity got over the difficulty of combining furious opposites, by keeping them both, and keeping them both furious.--G.K. Chesterton

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Tonus_Peregrinus
Apprentice
# 3058

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Dear Newman's Own:

Thank you very much. I have had that silly song running in my head for the last twenty-four hours, now that I've been reminded of it. It was one of the favourites of the Director of Religious Studies at the parish school - and it got sung at every school Mass for about 2 years (and I got to play it every time, as well as at all the practices!!!).

The other one it brought to mind was Colour My World. I can't remember the verses (thank you God) but the chorus went:

Colour my world with gladness,
Colour my world with joy,
Colour my world with a rainbow of love,
Colour my world with joy.

[Puke] [Puke] [Puke]

If this is what the teachers are exposing primary school children to, it's no wonder their faith development stops at about age 6, and we're stuck with childish adults (not child-like, which is something else, and at times quite a good thing).

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"Prevent us O Lord in all our doings with thy most gracious favour..." BCP

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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251

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"Come as you are, that's how I want you.
Come as you are, feel right at home...."

...with apologies if it's been posted before. That other prime piece of drek is "For the Beauty of the Earth" by Rutter. Our choir sounds like the liturgical arm of the Mike Sammes Singers when we sing the wretched thing.

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2^8, eight bits to a byte

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The Black Labrador
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# 3098

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there was an action song c.10yrs ago

Holy spirit, holy spirit, pour your power, pour your power, on me, on me on me

each verse added something else you asked the h.s. to do but it always finished on me, on me on me.

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birdie

fowl
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quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
I've heard rumours of a 'prayer of Jabez' chorus asking God to 'enlarge my borders'. As a dedicated Weight Watcher, there's no way I'm asking God to enlarge my anything!

Could be a useful song for managers of large American bookstores though.

Your wish is my command, Gill H

bird

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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I mercifully have forgotten many of the words, but does anyone remember a popular "kids' hymn" (from, I would say, about 1970... though, God help us, it endured for at least another 10 years), which began with

I'm alive in Christ
He's alive in me
And that pretty well sums up my whole philosophy.

Another verse began with:

And he lives in you
And he lives in me
And the three of us together, that's community.

Another was:
What a happy place this whole world would be
If we all could learn to live in peace and harmony,
What a very happy place we'd all be in!
We'd be alive in him!

I hope this thread never dies - it is a favourite of mine.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Eanswyth

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# 3363

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OH NOOOOO!! Our music minister is almost done preparing our new supplimental song book. Lots of Betty Pulkingham and... I can't say it... Sh*ne Jesus Sh*ne. [brick wall] [Waterworks] [Projectile]
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Elizabeth Anne

Altar Girl
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And Elizabeth slowly becomes unglued as the long-repressed memories of Sunday school come flooding back.... [brick wall]

One consisted of the line "God became a baby boy", repeated over and over and over and over again, and nothing else.

And then there was "Jesus was a child like me/ He would fall and scrape his knee/ His mom would soothe his hurt/ And clean up all the dirt/ Jesus was a child like me"

[Help]

--------------------
Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in my eyes...

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Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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ELizabeth, leave now while there is still hope.

The rest of us have already succumbed to the dark side.

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!

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ChrisT

One of the Good Guys™
# 62

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I learned a song in Solomon Islands pidgin English, that goes like this:

Me one talk long you
You one talk long me
Me one talk long Jesus
Jesus hemme one talk true


Roughly translated this means:

I and one with you
You are one with me
I am one with Jesus
Jesus is the True One


And the music is just as bad. It was written by an Australian guy the same day he learned a few words in pidgin. Can you tell?

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Firmly on dry land

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Gabriel
Apprentice
# 827

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I think my all-time worst chorus has to be the 1960's (or possibly 70's) (Yes, i'm showing my age!)

Bind us together Lord
Bind us together Lord
With cords that can not be broken
Bind us together Lord
Bind us together Lord
Bind us together with love

It was, at the time, required that everyone held hands as they sung it (!)

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LucyH
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# 3570

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:wow: awhole site devoted to a hobby horse of mine! has anyone shared the joy of singing hymns to 'Land of Hope and glory' or worse the dambusters march. trust me it doesnt matter what the words are :
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Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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quote:
Originally posted by Elizabeth Still Believes:
And Elizabeth slowly becomes unglued as the long-repressed memories of Sunday school come flooding back.... [brick wall]

One consisted of the line "God became a baby boy", repeated over and over and over and over again, and nothing else.

And then there was "Jesus was a child like me/ He would fall and scrape his knee/ His mom would soothe his hurt/ And clean up all the dirt/ Jesus was a child like me"

[Help]

Don't worry, Elisabeth. It happened to me as well. [Projectile]

It is possible to find help. [Wink]

--------------------
"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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I just love this thread - but, since it has had a (happily) long life, please excuse me if I am repeating anything I said in the original. (If so, it is not intentional.)

One of my pet peeves was when a popular song, in no way religious and perhaps quite a good one, was used for worship - the more because lots of us romantic types, during the 1960s and 70s, did not realise that the effect would be unintentionally hilarious. This goes equally well for when people used a song that indeed was religious, but had no familiarity with the Scripture passage that formed the text - I cannot tell what a problem it was to try to explain to couples (this was in the days when "But it's her wedding justified anything" - no support from the clergy) that one popular folk hymn that was from Hosea was hardly appropriate for a wedding.

A number of my friends (religious Sisters of various congregations) were very creative in their profession ceremonies - but I'll spare you the details of some of the nonsense, noting only the occasional use of a popular song. For those of you too young to remember, this song had the lyrics (if I recall):

There's a new world somewhere
They call the promised land.
And I'll be there someday if you will hold my hand.
I could search the whole world over, until my life is through,
But I know I'll never find another you.

There is always someone for each of us they say, and you'll be my someone forever and a day. (etc.)

Tune changed:
It's a long, long journey, so stay by my side.
While I walk through the storm you'll be my guide,
If they gave me a fortune, my treasure would be small.
I could lose it all tomorrow, and never mind at all,
But if I should lose your love dear, I don't know what I'd do,
For I know I'll never find another you.

This actually very pleasant popular song tended to sound really silly at a profession ceremony. But you can imagine how I blushed when a novice mistress I knew, having heard the rather obscure John Denver song "Poems, Prayers, and Promises" saw it as lovely for an investiture ceremony.

"Lie there by the fire,
And watch the evening tire,
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around.
And talk of poems, prayers, and promises,
And things that we believe in,
How sweet it is to love someone,
How right it is to share,
How long it's been since yesterday,
And what about tomorrow?
And what about our dreams and all the memories we share?"

Have you ever tried to get a novice mistress down from the clouds and explain to her what "pass the pipe around" means? [Big Grin]

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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LucyH
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# 3570

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probably i hate danny boy as a hymn tune asmuch as afore mentiohed land of h and g and the using of pop tunes with the words changed as Elizabeth describes. See also 'gladly thecross eyed bear 'and' just as i am without one pea' However if i never hear 'fear not or majesty again I shall die happy'
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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My life is too full(!) to go through the entire thread to check if my favourite spoonerism is here:

For
I will make you fishers of men...

how about

I will make you vicious old men....
vicious old men......
etc, if you follow me....


--------------------
Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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I had not thought of this one in years, but I doubt it can have its impact if one does not know the dreadful tune... nor how awkwardly the second verse fits the melody.

Follow Christ and love the world as he did,
When he walked upon the e-e-earth,
Love each friend and enemy as he did,
In God's eyes we have equal worth.

Follow Christ and serve the world as he did,
When he min-i-stered to every-o-o-one,
Serve each friend and enemy as he did,
So that the father's will be done.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Gill H

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# 68

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Thanks Birdie, but I couldn't get in without a password. Never mind, I can get assaulted by enough Prayer of Jabez nonsense every time I walk past a Wesley Owen...

The 'Holy Spirit' song is a chain song (like 'Old Macdonald' but without the animal noises, unless you're in that sort of church). I play it for the kid's slot sometimes, very fast in the style of 'Tutti Frutti' (hey, I'm really down wiv ver kids).

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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birdie

fowl
# 2173

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quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
Thanks Birdie, but I couldn't get in without a password.

How strange. Nor can I now. It definitely worked when I posted it...

b

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"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Anyone remember the Sunday School collection hymn

Dropping, dropping dropping
Hear the pennies fall
Every one for Jesus.
He shall have them all.

I may have got the first line wrong but the rest is fairly accurate.

Jengie

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Yes, I remember it! And the boys all tried to miss the box slot so the pennies really would be dropping - all over the floor.

We were supposed to be sending the money off to missionaries in Africa, so the box was in the shape of a mud hut.

The other song we would sing about it was:
'Jesus loves the little children
all the children of the world
Red and yellow black and white
All are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world.'

I used to try to imagine what little children with red, yellow, black and white stripes looked like, and where they might live. [Big Grin]

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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I don't know if this ever was a song used in worship (I certainly hope not...), but, after a lapse of about thirty years, somehow my mind became filled with memories of a dreadful song about

Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water,
Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea,
Take a look at yourself and you will look at others differently,
By putting your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee.

Whoever recorded it, incidentally, pronounced "hand" as if it were "hay-ned" and "stilled" as if it were "steeled."

I am bracing myself... I just know I'm going to learn that this actually was used in services somewhere or other.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Jonah the Whale

Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244

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That is really eerie! I was thinking about that song earlier today. I havent thought of it for a couple of decades and it turns up twice in one day!

I didn't know it in a worship setting, I used to play bassoon in a schools orchestra and it was done instrumentally in a completely secular "big band" style. Mind you I must have heard it elsewhere too, because a couple of lines of lyrics are familiar.

Here's one from the same era (mid-seventies) on a similar theme:

Here comes Jesus, see him walking on the water
He'll lift you up and he'll help you to stand.
Here comes Jesus, he's the master of the waves that roll
Here comes Jesus, he'll make you whole.

I dunno, the yoof of today complain about worship songs. If they had to go through some of the songs we did in the seventies (the above is actually comparatively good) then blah blah blah etc.

<polishes walking stick and mumbles off, stage left>

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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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A verse for 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so' that I can't find in my hymn-book, but that we sung at our Sunday School run by some independent evangelical folk went like this.

'Jesus loves the Indian boy
bow and arrow for his toy;
And he loves the cowboy, too
with his horse and big lassoo

Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me etc'

Were we the only ones to sing this er... rather unusual version?

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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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Lord have mercy, Jonah - I had completely forgotten that "Here Comes Jesus" song, which I remember now hearing at a charismatic service about 25 years ago! I am just sorry that those who were not around to hear this atrocity cannot realise just how horrible the melody was!

Now, this one goes back further than the 1970s (probably much further, though I've no notion of its origins), but I understand that it was popular at RC evening services (novenas and other devotions) back when Mass could not be celebrated after midday. I have no idea of the cirumstances (is there an elder shipmate who does?), but remember hearing that Pius XII himself, who rarely bothered with things so trivial as English RC hymns, directly prohibited its use. (There was a verse about how Jesus was the shepherd, which I cannot recall.)

Good night, sweet Jesus,
Guard us in sleep,
Our souls and bodies
In thy love keep.
Waking or sleeping,
Keep us in sight,
Dear gentle Saviour, good night, good night.

Good night, sweet Jesus,
Thanks for thy loyal love,
And all thy wondrous gifts
Sent from above.
Grant us forgiveness,
Poor sinners in thy sight.
Dear gentle Saviour, good night, good night.

Good night, sweet Jesus, good night, good night.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420

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To my amazement, I found that Laura's MIDI Heaven has "Good Night, Sweet Jesus" (horrible arrangement of the horrible tune) amongst its offerings. I'm mentioning this largely because I know those who love this thread as I do may find some of their favourites there. (Though no songs still under copyright can be included, so the 1970s messes are largely absent.)

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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HenryT

Canadian Anglican
# 3722

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quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Funeral hymns. hmmm. One of the standards in the local RC churches here (where I cantor at funerals) is "How Great Thou Art". I've never figured out quite how it fits a funeral, especially with the typical American RCs who never sing all the verses of a hymn. So you end up singing two verses about mountain grandeur, twittering birds, and silvery moons and then abruptly ending. Drives me nuts!



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"Perhaps an invincible attachment to the dearest rights of man may, in these refined, enlightened days, be deemed old-fashioned" P. Henry, 1788

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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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? did that post miss something?

Anyway, the song fits funerals very well, being a statement of faith in God, and of hope in the resurrection.

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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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I just noticed that the rather different crimes agains hymnody thread has been closed and merged with this one.

Which means I have to use this thread to ask if anyone else knows the song, sung often at our church, that goes something like:

quote:

Give thanks, with a grateful heart
Give thanks, to the Holy One
Give thanks, because He's given
Jesus Christ, His Son

And now, let the weak say "I am strong"
let the poor say "I am rich"
because of what the Lord has done for me

Not the most beautiful of poetry, but it is better than many. But there was something familiar about the tune...

A week or so ago I was in the Brighton Bead Shop with my best-beloved, light of my eyes, et.c, et.c and we were listening to the loud music being played from some old pop compilations.

And they played The Village People's other song, the one that isn't about the YMCA: Go West!.

And then I realised where I'd heard the tune before.

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busyknitter
Shipmate
# 2501

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quote:
Give thanks, with a grateful heart
Give thanks, to the Holy One
Give thanks, because He's given
Jesus Christ, His Son......

And they played The Village People's other song, the one that isn't about the YMCA: Go West!.

[Killing me]

(Actually I think it's the Pet Shop Boys)

Give Thanks is one of my very favorite songs btw, but I'll never be able to sing it without giggling again.

BK

(Umm Ken, "Best Beloved"? "Light of my eyes"? Anything that you might want to be telling me [Razz] )

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ChrisT

One of the Good Guys™
# 62

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Last year we did a modified version of 'Venus' where the title was changed to 'Jesus'.

I kid you not.

--------------------
Firmly on dry land

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Emma Louise

Storm in a teapot
# 3571

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Remember the flintstones.....

i remember singing 'jesus, meet with Jesus, he's the greatest one in history......' etc

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LMC

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quote:
Originally posted by ChrisT:
Last year we did a modified version of 'Venus' where the title was changed to 'Jesus'.

I kid you not.

[Confused] How would that work?! I could be mistaken, but didn't the words go something like:

I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, Your desire ..

Is it just me or would that wound rather odd if you put 'Jesus' in instead of Venus?

--------------------
hello

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I just found this thread and have been [Killing me] [Killing me] for the last hour. Brings back fond [Snigger] memories..
When my brother- & sister-in-law married in the 70s, they had that sappy Carpenters song, "For all we know" christianized to, "Lord, look on the two of us" and "Love will grow, for all to know." But they kept in the line about "Strangers in many ways," which I always thought was an inauspicious start to a marriage. Oh well, 25 yrs and 4 kids later, what do I know?
Newman's Own, you have the lyrics to "Another You" just right, as I recall them. I loved the song but never thought of it in the context of holy orders! Also, you mention:
quote:

after a lapse of about thirty years, somehow my mind became filled with memories of a dreadful song about

Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water,

I don't know if this was ever used in a worhsip service, but I admit to owning a 45 rpm of this sung in French by Nana Mouskouri.

Anna B, Not that I could ever sing "Earth and All Stars" with a straight face (even tho I kinda like it), but your "Loud flushing toilets" verse takes the cake! [Not worthy!]

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Oops, looks like I did the quote thingy wrong. [Embarrassed] Sorry.

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Newman's Own
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# 420

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Anyone remember this gem, which was sung in a "round" and could go on nearly forever? It loses its impact, admittedly, if one does not know the dreary tune.

Love, love, love, love,
Christians this is your call.
Love your neighbour as yourself,
For God loves all.

Then again, that was probably a cut above "They'll Know we are Christians by Our Love," which assumed that we had already arrived.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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quote:
Originally posted by Sauerkraut:
I most sincerely appologise if "Shine, Jesus, Shine" has been addressed already. If it has, it probably hasn't been addressed in this way: have you ever heard "Shine, Jesus, Shine" on a pipe organ? If you haven't, save yourself the trouble. I've been through it, and I would rather have my head slammed into a brick wall than hear that attrocious combination again. That song was last played over a year ago. I told the pastors I would leave if that song was ever played again. Fortunately, my threat carries some weight since I am the bell choir director.

While working overseas and looking for a church, after four weeks at one I thought it was it: great people, good sermons and services, great hymns, nice pipe organ.

And guess what was played on the fifth week? On the pipe organ?

And guess who never went back?

Sauerkraut, you are right. It was the most horrific experience one can imagine.

Admiral.

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Arabella Purity Winterbottom

Trumpeting hope
# 3434

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quote:

Originally posted by little Miss Sparkle:
How would that work?! I could be mistaken, but didn't the words go something like:

I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, Your desire ..

Is it just me or would that wound rather odd if you put 'Jesus' in instead of Venus?


This reminded me of the time my Dad walked out of an Easter service when I was a teenager (some 25 years ago). The vicar had chosen a hymn which was sung to the tune of the Drunken Sailor. The chorus went thusly
quote:
Way-oh and up he rises
Way-oh and up he rises
Way-oh and up he rises
Early in the morning.

And, on the topic of inappropriate wedding hymns I have two favourites, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas and Balfour Gardiner's wonderful but puzzling as a choice for a wedding Evening hymn with its second verse about defending us from all nightly fears and fantasies.

And yes, I have been present at a wedding for each of these.

Deborah

--------------------
Hell is full of the talented and Heaven is full of the energetic. St Jane Frances de Chantal

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Sauerkraut
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quote:
Originally posted by Admiral Holder:
While working overseas and looking for a church, after four weeks at one I thought it was it: great people, good sermons and services, great hymns, nice pipe organ.

And guess what was played on the fifth week? On the pipe organ?

And guess who never went back?

Sauerkraut, you are right. It was the most horrific experience one can imagine.

Admiral.

I am sorry you had to go through that. Really, I wouldn't want even my worst enemy to have to go through that torture. It is so bad with me that I cannot listen to any version of that song anymore without hearing the organ moaning like a dying whale in my head. It is making the hair on the back of my neck stand up just thinking about it.

Why I continue to put up with my church, I do not even know. The Sunday after I wrote my complaint on this board, guess what song was played (if you can call it that) on the organ. I have yet to confront the pastors about this last offence, but I do not think I have to. Many more people have come to their senses and complained about the song. The next voter's meeting, I might propose a bylaw banning any incarnation of that song from ever being played in the church again.

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We want not an amalgam or compromise, but both things at the top of their energy; love and wrath both burning. Christianity got over the difficulty of combining furious opposites, by keeping them both, and keeping them both furious.--G.K. Chesterton

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Eanswyth

Ship's raven
# 3363

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quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
Then again, that was probably a cut above "They'll Know we are Christians by Our Love," which assumed that we had already arrived.

My dad used to sing, out loud and in church, "They'll know we are Christians by our bumper stickers". [Roll Eyes]
Posts: 1323 | From: San Diego | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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Sauerkraut:
My sincerest sympathies regarding the "resurrection" of *that* song.

quote:
Originally posted by Jengie:
Anyone remember the Sunday School collection hymn

Dropping, dropping dropping
Hear the pennies fall
Every one for Jesus.
He shall have them all.

Indeed: and our leaders' talents extended to:

"Swiping, swiping, swiping
Swiping credit cards.
Every card for Jesus!
He shall have them all!"

Despite the lack of the rhyme, how many 10 year olds have Credit Cards?

I seem to remember cheques being mentioned as well: can't remember that, thankfully!

Admiral.

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Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
Then again, that was probably a cut above "They'll Know we are Christians by Our Love," which assumed that we had already arrived.

Argh! I had forgotten this one!

Try the lines "We will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand" as you stroll around the hall grabbing the hands of the nearest person and "walking hand in hand" with them [or if, you were like me, trying to avoid everyone while the enthusiastic worship leader clapped and pranced down the aisles, enjoining all to follow suit].

On another issue...one good memory of some bad songs, though: a parishioner with a wonderfully wicked sense of humour [and who knew "modern" songs weren't my thing] used to "do the twist" next to me with a wry smile as the guitar and drums took centre-stage...

Admiral.

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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056

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quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
A verse for 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so' that I can't find in my hymn-book, but that we sung at our Sunday School run by some independent evangelical folk went like this.

'Jesus loves the Indian boy
bow and arrow for his toy;
And he loves the cowboy, too
with his horse and big lassoo

Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me etc'

Were we the only ones to sing this er... rather unusual version?

Mine was even more horrible than yours.

Jesus loves the Indian Boy,
Bow and arrow for a toy.
Big Filipino, small Chinese
They live far across the seas

[Help]

As bad as this chorus is, Shine Jesus Shine on a pipe organ still wins the top prize - I HATE that song! [Projectile]

T.

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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056

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Just thought of another verse (must have been repressed inside the dark recesses of my mind) You will know why after reading this...

Jesus loves me when I'm good
When I do the things I should
Jesus loves me when I'm bad
Though it makes him VERY sad.

T.

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Newman's Own
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Just wondering - Though "Jesus Loves Me" is dreadful in any case, are the verses about Indians, cowboys, and the other things mentioned here part of the "official" hymn, or were they made up by some well intentioned local fool who was looking to make things more relevant?

I mention this because, when on relevance duty during the 1960s, I heard some really ghastly adaptations, where verses were written by someone on a parish's staff. (That is probably illegal, come to think of it.) As one example which sadly sticks in my memory, one nun wrote her own version of "Blowing in the Wind," which began with "How many times must their blood be shed - Before they know that it's mine?"

Of course, sometimes even I make allowances (however grudgingly). Once, I saw a group of children, aged three, sing "Father Noah had an Ark," an original adaptation of "Old MacDonald had a Farm." Had they been aged four, I would have protested.

In one RC parish of which I knew (and, of course, never attended), the head of the religious education programme was constantly re-writing hymns - not only to make sure God was never referred to as He, but to eliminate all mention of sin, forgiveness, or anything else that would potentially wound the self esteem of the godly children. I wish I could recall a few - they were gems - but my memory mercifully has emptied the recycling bin.

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

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