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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Never Again Meals
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
The Arizona State Fair is going on right now (I haven't gone to it in many years). All sorts of strange foods are sold, but especially anything deep-fried. Here are a few highlights from this year's Fair.
Deep-fried peanut butter and jam cheesecake with bubblegum icing* deserves a category on its own. Possibly in a medical textbook.
*translated into British
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Just the thing for Himself's diabetic family!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
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What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.
There's a State Fair in Arizona waiting to hear from you.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Welease Woderwick: Macaroni cheese made with Gorgonzola and cream sauce is a Yes, please, again as often as you like meal!
One of my favourites.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.
There's a State Fair in Arizona waiting to hear from you.
But you need to deep-fry it.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Welease Woderwick: Macaroni cheese made with Gorgonzola and cream sauce is a Yes, please, again as often as you like meal!
One of my favourites.
It's a close relative of a sauce made with Philadelphia cheese. Last time I made it I ended up in the hospital with a gall bladder screaming to get out. Danish blue is slightly more benign and tastes very good (add a little onion, parsley and red pepper flakes).
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
LOL, the fact that I've lived in countries all over the world means that I've got a reasonably strong stomach ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Thank you for your ingredient suggestions. One thing I also like to put in is champignons.
Coming back to the subject of this thread, last week they didn't have Gorgonzola in the co-op, so I made it with camomzola? It was advertised as a mix between Camembert and Gorgonzola. Don't. Just don't.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.
There's a State Fair in Arizona waiting to hear from you.
But you need to deep-fry it.
She's a Scot, of course, she can deep fry it! The only problem is a dozen other Scots have got there first. Lets just start wiht this attempt.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
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Posted
Charmed by the photo of a delicious-looking chocolate cake on the back of my mayonnaise jar, I once attempted to make the accompanying recipe, which called for about a cup of mayonnaise. It was, I think, the worst baked good I have ever made. After sampling the finished product, it went directly from pan to trash. I hate wasting chocolate. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
[ 27. October 2015, 01:32: Message edited by: LutheranChik ]
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Yesterday I took two perfectly good cans of soup, and added a packet of 'soup mix' lentils-and-stuff which I found in the back of the cupboard,and which looked like something my mate added to some soup last week, and which was kind of nice and healthy-looking.
The bits stayed rock hard for about the first hour of simmering, and then started to soften. Me and the kids started to chew, until eldest suggested running it through the blender.
Then it was too thick and stalled the blender, so we added boiling water (youngest, in despair, 'but then there'll be more!').
In the end we had massive bowls of hot, vegetable-derived, grey, saturated starch solution. The kids (8 and 10) had never seen me not finish a meal before, having only heard of such an event in family lore involving deep-fried pizza and a stretchy battered sausage. We all felt weird, all afternoon.
The packet went out of date in 2010, but hey, it's dried food right?
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
<narrows eyes> The soup mix needed to go on about last Tuesday along with some bony, fatty bits from from an elderly but athletic sheep. After a day or so, you can add leeks, neeps and tatties. The resultant slurry can be further enlivened with shredded kale. Welcome to Scotch Broth.
[ 27. October 2015, 13:11: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Firenze, thanks for your advice. I can't help but notice you reside in the city where the aforementioned deep-fried pizza incident took place. But thanks for the advice .
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
I'll echo Firenze, soup mix, especially five years out of date soup mix, needs to be cooked in flavoured water (aka stock) for an hour or more. The older the dried ingredients the more hours. I would add some vegetables, but possibly not until I'd made sure the lentils were softening. Tinned soup already has thickening, so doesn't have the required spare flavoured water to rehydrate and soften the pearl barley, lentils and whatever else has been added.
(You can cook up soup mix in enough water with a stock cube, stock or can of tomatoes with added water, something to add taste and make a purée to use for a veggie base for a fake meat loaf or veggie rissoles, it's that sort of stodge and it's why I have it in the cupboard - emergency food.)
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
Indeed, soup mix needs a good long simmering - and that after it has soaked overnight in plain water and been rinsed. You can then do all sorts of things with it if you like. It's strange but true that long cooking in a slow cooker is not a way to deal with it until it has been soaked and simmered. The same for any dry pulse.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Like GeeD I soak soup mix overnight in plain water, then rinse it before using.
Edited to add - the fact that it was out of date wouldn't bother me.
[ 27. October 2015, 16:11: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Well folks, I have one packet left (of slightly more recent vintage, but only slightly) so thanks for your advice!
It was really hard chucking the last lot in the green recycling bin - not least it spurred me to rake up all the leaves in the front yard, so as to give it something to soak in to. I almost suggested elder kid use it to finish a papier- mache-head-project which has been hanging around for a while. And my kitchen needs re-papering...
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Anything like that can only ever be improved by soaking for hours beforehand.
Well, sometimes. There was the time I bought some white beans to make ful medammas and soaked them overnight. And then soaked them some more. And cooked them. For twice as long as the recipe said because at every stage they were still hard and crunchy.
And then they went into the blender and became a thick sludge which was diluted with water and flavoured with spices, and it was still horrible and full of tiny crunchy bits. The only thing to do was throw it away.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Reminds me of a dish I tried to make with dried chickpeas - Lead Shot Stew. I've since switched to tinned never mind the bright Nigella exhortations that it will only take a few minutes to soak them the night before/put them on to boil for six hours.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
You can never overcook chickpeas, while it's hard to undercook lentils. If pulses are beyond their use-by date, just cook them longer. I suppose there is a time that they are just too dry to cook, but I'll bet that there was no use-by on those bought in markets in ancient times.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Use by dates on bottled water amuse me. I was recently told off by my children for drinking water that had been sitting in my bedside glass for a couple of days. Our water is fluorided by the local council so it always tastes better when left for a while. My progeny would be hopeless relying on a tank of water on a farm or a barrel of water on a boat. Fresh water is apparently not fresh water any more unless it is stamped with a date. Never mind the fact that the water we drink has already been recycled many times through dinosaur stomachs, fish guts, atmospheric events, silt, soil and pipes that have god-knows-what in them.
I must be getting old.
BL. Feeling out of date.
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
Reviving this after being too busy five weeks ago.
#1 Tête de veau. (1964) Cousin and I arrived in Avignon late when only one cheap restaurant was still open, and only dish left was tête de veau. Pinky-grey rubbery-jellyish chunks in what was actually a nice garlic sauce. We managed about half. Supercilious young waiter didn't want to take our plates until we finished the lot, but there was no way.
#2 Wedding cake. (1958). Yes, it was a really nice cake. Starting at a school in Essex at the same time as a French assistante. A colleague who had been married during the holiday had brought some of his wedding cake to share. French lass was gobsmacked to find us eating cake that was 6-8 weeks old. These strange English culinary customs!
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
Had a pasta disaster a few months ago when with bareish cupboards I made a pasta side dish but adding a jar of [named] 3 cheese sauce to some penne.
The resultant abomination was binned, even my 12 year old son who will eat just about anything looked almost teary with relief when I announced it was to vile to consume. The ex flatmate who had left the jar of sauce was later accused of culinary terrorism since that stuff was like having an unexploded taste bomb in the kitchen.
(Name removed pending hostly discussion)
[ 04. December 2015, 11:40: Message edited by: Firenze ]
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Ready made cheesy sauces are pretty nasty. Mrs S once bought a tub of alleged "Carbonara" sauce for me as a favour. Now, I like carbonara, but I have certain standards: lots of eggs, extra yolks, cream and the right cheese plus pepper (no salt, you have pancetta too) but this gloppy mess was awful. No part of it could ever have seen the inside of a hen and I doubt much was familiar with a cow either. It was terrible. ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
If you're going to have a jar of pasta sauce in the cupboard, tomato based is safest.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Partly down to a food intolerance, but also taste, I always make pasta sauce from scratch. I find that pancetta (or bacon) plus mushrooms makes a good sauce with the addition of some mascarpone, garlic and black pepper.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Yangtze
Shipmate
# 4965
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Galloping Granny:
#1 Tête de veau. (1964) Cousin and I arrived in Avignon late when only one cheap restaurant was still open, and only dish left was tête de veau. Pinky-grey rubbery-jellyish chunks in what was actually a nice garlic sauce. We managed about half.
GG
Oh lordy, my brother and I ordered that in a restaurant in France when we were children - for some reason either we or our parents had picked up on the 'veau' (veal) part without really thinking about the 'tete' (head) part. It still sticks in my mind as one of the most inedible meals I've ever attempted to eat.
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Arthur & Henry Ethical Shirts for Men
organic cotton, fair trade cotton, linen
Sometimes I wonder What's for Afters?
Posts: 2022 | From: the smallest town in England | Registered: Sep 2003
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Arriving late at a French hotel (Le Touquet) after a long drive c.1965, we were hungry. My mother and ordered shellfish - I can't remember what they were, shrimps or prawns. (My father and I had other food).
They arrived in a huge tureen: each one was tiny and still in its shell. They took ages to eat and I think it was one of those meals where you consume more calories than you ingest.
A year or two later, in the south of France, we stopped for lunch at a restaurant and ordered the set lunch. We hadn't realised that the cuisine was North African: dish after dish arrived, was prodded and tasted, and was then rejected. Today I love North African food - but it was new to us then.
[ 04. December 2015, 15:58: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Ah, France... Many years ago, on a tour of Brittany, two Norn Irish girls used to having our tea at six. My friend ordered crab (expecting something in the nature of a fishcake): I can remember yet the smirk with which the waitress set down the entire beast and a couple of weird-fangled knitting needles.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
Yeah,
I usually make both my cheese and tomato based pasta sauces from scratch. That jar of sauce was a once only, never again experience.
[ 04. December 2015, 20:32: Message edited by: Dee. ]
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Re: wedding cake. For a friend's wedding, her gran baked two cakes a sponge top and a fruit cake bottom, and my mother iced and decorated them. The bottom was kept as per tradition for the baptism of the 1st child (11 months later) to be re-iced. This shouldn't be a problem if the cake is sufficiently boozy and well wrapped. Turns out no alcohol was used and on chipping off the icing the cake was entirely green. I had to make a last minute mercy dash to Morrisons for half a dozen Dundee cakes. We never told Granny that it wasn't the original.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Some years ago we were sent a piece of wedding cake from a strictly vegan wedding. We left the opened package out on the kitchen work surface overnight, only to find it had been gnawed by a mouse. We knew this because the little furry corpse was lying stiff and cold next to it.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
A Chinese wedding banquet in New York... It was a wonderful experience for all who like that style of cuisine. For anyone who gets sick on seafood, it was twelve courses of mostly, "No thank you" and the utter contempt of the waitresses, then leaving after three hours, starving. I'd have let it recede into deep memory if we hadn't got an invitation today to another one just like it. A multi racial extended family is mostly a great joy...
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Otoh, you're less likely to be served some of the things which turn up in Chinese banquets in China. Like an aperitif which was a phial of vinegar. Or the local noodles in broth which was exactly like squares of slime in a bowl of snot. Or boiled coca cola. Or duck brains on the half shell.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Some years ago we were sent a piece of wedding cake from a strictly vegan wedding. We left the opened package out on the kitchen work surface overnight, only to find it had been gnawed by a mouse. We knew this because the little furry corpse was lying stiff and cold next to it.
Do you know what happened to the wedding guests?
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
"...oh they swelled and they died..."
Unlike Lord Randall's hounds, probably not. I think we met a few of them in after years when the happy couple would revisit their old haunts and we would go out somewhere for a dish of lentils and a flatbread. (The Bride on one occassion refused the carefully vetted dessert on the grounds that the raspberry jus looked too bloody).
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.
It must be the sauce they come in.
It's the tins. In Cornwall they catch pilchards but sell them as sardines. Brush them with oil and lemon, BBQ them and they are delicious.
Tinned pilchards are of Satan though.
Weren't they a compo staple, along with cheese possessed?
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alex Cockell:
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.
It must be the sauce they come in.
It's the tins. In Cornwall they catch pilchards but sell them as sardines. Brush them with oil and lemon, BBQ them and they are delicious.
Tinned pilchards are of Satan though.
Weren't they a compo staple, along with cheese possessed?
Yes.
Pilchards were used as bait to catch real fish. Actually caught a few bream, a friend caught a Sea Bass (very nice fresh) but no sign of Red Mullet.
Didn't try cheese possessed. Even fish have some dignity you know.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
Pressure cookers mean you can cook beans from dried in 30 minutes, and then freeze them - fantastic. My best friend got a marvellous electronic combi pressure/rice/slow cooker from QVC of all places, a few years ago now and still going strong. She's vegan so eats a lot of beans and pulses.
Terrible food I strangely miss - turkey twizzlers.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pomona:
Pressure cookers mean you can cook beans from dried in 30 minutes, and then freeze them - fantastic. My best friend got a marvellous electronic combi pressure/rice/slow cooker from QVC of all places, a few years ago now and still going strong. She's vegan so eats a lot of beans and pulses.
Caution required... I was discussing hummus recipes with a Lebanese friend who knows about these things. Never, ever, he said, cook chick peas in a pressure cooker. Their skins don't soften much, and if they clog the safety valve, the ceiling repairs can be expensive.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
We used a pressure cooker a lot when we lived in West Africa (high cooking temperatures killed the bugs, quick cooking saved our scarce gas).
But anything like stews or soups which like a long slow cook didn't taste quite right: they were cooked all right but the tastes hadn't had time to mingle properly.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Pilchards. I went off those after a period of poverty during which I would glance up glumly at a shelf with seven tins of pilchards in tomato sauce labelled "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday" etc.
It wasn't as bad as a subsequent period of poverty that involved boiled lentils as the main foodstuff for a prolonged period. To this day I can't stand the things.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
There was a school dinner which involved pilchards and other things which DID NOT GO, but I have wiped it from my mind. (Who needs Whovian stuff?) But I have failed to do so with the one which included crispy spam fritters, tinned spaghetti in tomato sauce and pickled beetroot. Or at least, mostly failed. I had forgotten it until I started on the pilchards.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
D'you know, I could just eat that now. Sometimes I even surprise myself.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
We used to be given cheese pie at school. I got the recipe from the kitchen staff and gave it to my mum. Delicious.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
D'you know, I could just eat that now. Sometimes I even surprise myself.
When I wrote crispy spam fritters, I meant spam fritters in which the spam was very thin, and overcooked until it was hard, and the batter cracked and crumbled. You really wouldn't like it.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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