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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 11)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427

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"I'll make do with a roll."

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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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So he sat with a beer and a sub*.

*Submarine roll.


While walking one day round the shops

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plug plug

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ArachnidinElmet
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# 17346

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I was tailed by a couple of cops

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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One officer said
Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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"He looks wrong in the head!"

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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bib
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# 13074

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His hair's like a pair of old mops


A grumpy old girl from Tasmania

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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"

Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
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# 16870

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Was jealous of her sister who was brainier

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Stetson
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# 9597

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So the one who was dumber
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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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went and married a plumber

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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With whom she found she was so much more zanier.

A jolly frog who came out of the pond

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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met a princess, with whom he did bond

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Croaked he: "Kiss me, my sweet."

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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ArachnidinElmet
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# 17346

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It will be such a treat

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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Stetson
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# 9597

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And our kids will have hair greenish-blond.

A skeezy old crooner in Vegas

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Looked around and said, "What? No bodegas?"

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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georgiaboy
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# 11294

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So where to get gin?

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You can't retire from a calling.

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The5thMary
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# 12953

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And generally sin...

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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In this city of all the lost wages.

There once was a lass from Cancun,

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who cavorted stark naked at noon.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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With dangly bits quivering,

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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the watchers all shivering

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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As they gaped at the midday full moon.

A doctor of dubious rep

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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For surgery never would prep.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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His hands were so foul

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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The5thMary
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# 12953

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all his patients would howl...

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Then come down with a bad case of strep.

A clever young lad from Berlin

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Who thought his father was Merlin

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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cast spells in the street

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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threw a dog off its feet

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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But got bored and instead took up curlin'.

On a bright sunny day in July

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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I was given a hot apple pie.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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With ice cream, vanilla

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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And scent of gorilla

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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I asked of the smug chef, "Oh Why?"

There was a young man from Dunblane

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Who really was a terrible pain

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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He had no idea how to scan

[ 23. June 2014, 14:15: Message edited by: pimple ]

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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Neither anapest nor iamb

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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but at tennis the kudos he'd gain.

'Tis the season for strawb'rries and cream

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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In Atlanta, add humidity and steam

--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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But what we all have in common

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Be it bishop or shaman

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Is that it hurts when we're hit by a beam.

A lizard from Cornwall one day

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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for his train ticket he could not pay

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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You see, he had no pockets

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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So he strapped on his rockets

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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And shouted, "Up, up and away!"

The vicar once said to his wife:

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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You're not really the love of my life

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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That honour would go
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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to my mate named Joe Blow...

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged
Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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I wish he were my trouble and strife!


There once was a young legionnaire

--------------------
Pondering.

Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged



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