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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 12)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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There once was a young legionnaire

who had a date with a girl from Bel Air

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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They went dancing and dining

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Till the sun started shining

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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And for each other, forever, did care

There once was a tax man named Alan

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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Who'd a secret hankering to be Batman

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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But when donned in his cape
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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he thought it a jape

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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As it made "Batman" rhyme with "Alan."

A silly old scrivener named Bob

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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was known as an 'orrible slob!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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he never washed dishes

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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And slept in bed with dead fishes

--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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And abluted with corn on the cob


At Wimbledon a Brit called Andy

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Found a girl who was rather randy,

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but being a gent

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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He kept to his tent

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Reading the sayings of Gandhi.

There once was a lass from Grasmere

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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That won the 'rear of the year'
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Her parents were proud
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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She stood out from the crowd

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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'Twas a grand derriere without peer.

Said Nessie, while swimming the Loch...

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"I'd fancy a tune by old Bach."

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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"But I can't go aground"

[ 29. June 2014, 09:42: Message edited by: Stetson ]

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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As I mustn't be found

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Pewter
Apprentice
# 16308

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"I'll keep Haydn down here 'round the clock"


I said to my local Barista

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Tree Bee

Ship's tiller girl
# 4033

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Keep doing that, you'll get a blister,

--------------------
"Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple."
— Woody Guthrie
http://saysaysay54.wordpress.com

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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he laughed in my face

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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And sprayed me with mace

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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That's no way to treat your own sister!

A retired old lady from Gwent

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Went to live in an old army tent

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Where to her great surprise

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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Had to share with two guys
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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And which brought her deep, lasting content.

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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Ooops!

A juvenile lout from Skegness

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Was over sure of his football prowess

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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He played in bare feet

--------------------
plug plug

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and his feet got quite beat

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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His toes were a hell of a mess.

There once was a lady of Spain,

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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whose lumbago gave her a pain

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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So a hunky masseur

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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who called himself Fleur

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Recommended she walk with a cane.

A feisty old geezer named Fred

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Took his son-in-law out to the shed.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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He bound him like Isaac.

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and shipped him to Vizag

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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but when he arrived he was dead


A man reincarnated as a tiger

--------------------
plug plug

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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swam lazily down the Niger.

--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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He mostly dog-paddled

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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And occasionally straddled
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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... the globe, as he landed in Riga.

It's July, and the sun shineth hotly

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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over nations both purebred and motley.

[ 01. July 2014, 15:40: Message edited by: Stetson ]

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged



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