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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
We'll need Factor 30
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
It's July, and the sun shineth hotly
over nations both purebred and motley.
We'll need Factor 30
Or a long-hemmed skirtie
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and a trip, perchance, out to Botley.
When riding my bike out to Beaulieu
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I passed a man dressed like a Coolie
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
He asked me the time
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and I answered in rhyme
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
It's a quarter til three, or two.
It's humid and hotter than Hades
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
But do not go bare-chested, ladies!
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
'Why not?' went the cry
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
From some male passers-by
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"It's not the conservative 80s!"
I once saw a horrible photo
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
of a pianist, playing con moto
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Skiing down Mont Blanc
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Screaming "Help! Help!" in fright'ning falsetto.
The star-mangled banner was sung by
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
two untrainable dogs and a young guy
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
They howled side by side
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
"May God help us" they cried
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
For it's only a bee that we're stung by.
There was an old nun who, at matins,
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Wore undies made of silks and satins.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
As the priest read the Word
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Sounded like someone dropping the paten.
The footballer flopped on the field
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Definite foul he meekly appealed
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
what the referee missed,
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
(he's a bit Brahms and Liszt)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Was the bag of used banknotes, all sealed.
One night when gazing at St Pauls
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I dreamed of Niagara Falls.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
When I came to myself
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I was dressed like an elf
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Who could fly and walk through the walls.
One evening while sipping a GIN,
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I balanced a cherry on my chin
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
I had the glass upon my head
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
the lemon twist I threw in the bin!
When cycling one day through Dumfries
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I was disturbed by a long skein of geese
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
They waddled past, honking
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and I, with deep longing
[nice try, piglet ![[Biased]](wink.gif) ]
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Wondered where I'd lost my hairpiece
Whilst cycling in the Tour de France
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I led them a right merry dance
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I pushed at my pedals
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
but was weighed down by my medals
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
and soon could no longer advance
One day buying bread up in Yorkshire
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
A butcher said, "How 'bout some pork, sir?"
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I settled for Ham
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
But then had to scram
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
For someone was stealing my Porsche!
(yes, this does depend on how you pronounce Yorkshire/Porsche, though I contend they rhyme better with one another than 'sir' does with either! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) )
I once met a girl from New Brunswick
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Who tampered in church with a nun's wick.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
The flame flickered wildly
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
| IP: Logged
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
She was spanked ever so mildly
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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