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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 15)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Sorry! I saw you had posted and deleted mine. And now I've forgotten what it was... [Hot and Hormonal]

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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He ate handbags and shoes

whilst reading the news

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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I think we maybe need a recap (well I do anyway):

There was an old goat named O'Reilly
Who was hairy, capricious and wily
He ate handbags and shoes
Whilst reading the news


with a co-presenter called Kylie.

On the feast of St. Swithin, 'twas hot

[ 16. July 2014, 13:18: Message edited by: piglet ]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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which meant forty days more on the trot

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Pondering.

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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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The bishop was sweaty

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cameron PM
Shipmate
# 18142

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His sermon quite petty,

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Your call.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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There was no-one to listen, so what?

There was once a crab in a shop

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who said of crab stew, "What a flop!"

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Eat beef, pork or lamb

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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or an omlette with ham
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but don't send mw for the chop!

When marching on Carthage from Rome

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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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I found a distressed fishing gnome

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427

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His rod had gone droopy

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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Which made him loopy

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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bib
Shipmate
# 13074

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Show me the way to go home.

It hasn't stopped raining all day

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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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The farmers can't be making their hay

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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they make cider instead

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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in vats poisoned with lead

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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Now they're all with the fairies away

Dodgy alcohol turned up on ebay

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plug plug

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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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The label looked a bit risque
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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But let's face it: when quaffed

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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It'll turn the brain soft

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Shabaly weeboo nooglooboo jarweeway.

Whilst riding my bike up the Alps

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I fell off and cried, "Halp! Halps!"

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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A wandering fraulein
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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exclaimed "oh, nein! Nein! Nein!"

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Pondering.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Then added mine to her collection of scalps.

An ant under an elephant's foot

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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Thought it really could be kaput
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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But the pachyderm tiptoed

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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Thus distributing it's load ,

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Change is the only certainty of existence

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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The ant scurried, shouting "W00t! W00t!"

Why God made mosquitoes, I don't know

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Perhaps it was only for show.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Was it all a mistake?

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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God's benevolence fake?
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Though scratching's good when bites itch so.

A tot dropped her ice cream on the mud

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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The tears from her eyes began to flood

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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But the ants cried, "Hey nonny!"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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It's vanilla and honey!

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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Who cares that it's covered in crud!

While watching the cricket one day

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Pondering.

Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Geoff Boycott passed by my way

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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I said 'You just got a duck'
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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He blamed it on luck

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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I shrugged and walked quickly away.

A screechy old alto named Gladys

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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Performed whilst eating a haggis
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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As she boiled up some neeps

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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She dropped into a sleep

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Fell down, and broke through the lattice.

A tempestuous tenor named William

[ 21. July 2014, 03:11: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
but don't send mw for the chop!


Gibberish does not scan, Wodders!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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A tempestuous tenor named William

Said to all and sundry I'll kill him

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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But of whom did he speak?

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged



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