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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Sorry! I saw you had posted and deleted mine. And now I've forgotten what it was... ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
He ate handbags and shoes
whilst reading the news
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I think we maybe need a recap (well I do anyway):
There was an old goat named O'Reilly
Who was hairy, capricious and wily
He ate handbags and shoes
Whilst reading the news
with a co-presenter called Kylie.
On the feast of St. Swithin, 'twas hot
[ 16. July 2014, 13:18: Message edited by: piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966
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Posted
which meant forty days more on the trot
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Pondering.
Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
The bishop was sweaty
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Cameron PM
Shipmate
# 18142
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Posted
His sermon quite petty,
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Your call.
Posts: 59 | From: Talamh an Eisc | Registered: Jun 2014
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
There was no-one to listen, so what?
There was once a crab in a shop
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Who said of crab stew, "What a flop!"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Eat beef, pork or lamb
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
but don't send mw for the chop!
When marching on Carthage from Rome
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I found a distressed fishing gnome
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
His rod had gone droopy
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
Show me the way to go home.
It hasn't stopped raining all day
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
The farmers can't be making their hay
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
they make cider instead
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
in vats poisoned with lead
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
Now they're all with the fairies away
Dodgy alcohol turned up on ebay
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
The label looked a bit risque
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
But let's face it: when quaffed
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
It'll turn the brain soft
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Shabaly weeboo nooglooboo jarweeway.
Whilst riding my bike up the Alps
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I fell off and cried, "Halp! Halps!"
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
A wandering fraulein
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966
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Posted
exclaimed "oh, nein! Nein! Nein!"
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Pondering.
Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Then added mine to her collection of scalps.
An ant under an elephant's foot
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Thought it really could be kaput
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
But the pachyderm tiptoed
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
Thus distributing it's load ,
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
The ant scurried, shouting "W00t! W00t!"
Why God made mosquitoes, I don't know
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Perhaps it was only for show.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Was it all a mistake?
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
God's benevolence fake?
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Though scratching's good when bites itch so.
A tot dropped her ice cream on the mud
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
But the ants cried, "Hey nonny!"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
It's vanilla and honey!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966
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Posted
Who cares that it's covered in crud!
While watching the cricket one day
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Pondering.
Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Geoff Boycott passed by my way
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
I said 'You just got a duck'
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
He blamed it on luck
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I shrugged and walked quickly away.
A screechy old alto named Gladys
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Performed whilst eating a haggis
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
As she boiled up some neeps
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
She dropped into a sleep
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Fell down, and broke through the lattice.
A tempestuous tenor named William
[ 21. July 2014, 03:11: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
but don't send mw for the chop!
Gibberish does not scan, Wodders!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
A tempestuous tenor named William
Said to all and sundry I'll kill him
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
But of whom did he speak?
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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