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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 17)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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or just for some action

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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In the days when Victoria reigned
And children were regularly caned
for the slightest infraction
or just for some action
the terror was always unfeigned.

There once was a Serb with a gun

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who thought it was oh so much fun

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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To shoot all the lightbulbs

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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This looks like verse !

Let us give it a temporary romp on Verseworks [Smile]

Doublethink
Circus / Verseworks Host

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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quote:

There once was a Serb with a gun
Who thought it was so much fun
To shoot all the lightbulbs

And destroy all the albs

[ 28. July 2014, 22:14: Message edited by: Doublethink ]

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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but reckoned without the armed nun

A reporter arrived from the paper

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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to witness a rather sad caper

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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A tiny wee nipper

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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was eating a kipper

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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And spitting the bones at a neighbour.

A young girl travelling the Orient Express

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Ripped a hole in her new designer dress

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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"Oh drat!" she exclaimed,
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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"my garment I've maimed!"

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Now more than the scansion's a mess!

Whenever I'm down in the doldrums

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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I grin until I'm showing my gums

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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But showing yer gnashers

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Attracts many flashers

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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And a cheering selection of bums.


Whilst walking my dog on the beach

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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I spotted a salt water leech.

(Why not? One day they'll be discovered.)

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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The cute little cryptid
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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Quite soon was eclips-ed

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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By a massive ice cream, made with peach.


A mouldy shoe fished from the river

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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made me shudder with horror and shiver

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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What's that gunk in the toe?

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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That is slithering so?
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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It's a hermit crab holding a liver.

In Glasgow, there once was a gymnast

(no prizes for guessing what I'm watching on tv right now...)

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917

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Who started to pirouette too fast

--------------------
“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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She birled so hard
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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The gym mat was charred
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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In the end, the giddiness passed.

On the day a solemn promise was made

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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I dreamed of the Marquis de Sade.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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(I swear, it's like summoning a genie by rubbing a lamp, someone refers to de Sade and POOF, there I am...)


I joined him for tea

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Where he tortured me

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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With rhymings and scannings quite odd.

I once took a date to see strippers

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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(not a suitable show for the nippers)

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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As the ladies disrobed

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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my paramour probed
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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In my bag for his post breakfast kippers.


A Banbury lass of some charm

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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got lost at a unicorn farm.

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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She got stuck in a maze

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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Then came out in a daze

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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With a handsome young knight on her arm.

A kitten who pounced on a pheasant

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Found the experience most unpleasant

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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A peck on the head

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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And soon it was dead

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Now lunch for some wandering peasant.

Said Chast, while perusing Justine

[ 03. August 2014, 20:22: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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"It all seems so dreadfully mean,"

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"For this poor girl of virtue"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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To be lacking a rescue
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged



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