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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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and a bagpipe, in case

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
The Phantom Flan Flinger
Shipmate
# 8891

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I couldn't keep up the pace,

--------------------
http://www.faith-hope-and-confusion.com/

Posts: 1020 | From: Leicester, England | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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[When walking the Cumbrian Fells
I put on my 'court jester' bells
and a bagpipe, in case
I couldn't keep up the pace,]

As I mumbled incantations and spells!


As I flew away from Djibouti

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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The hostess was incredibly snooty

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966

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When I pressed the "help" bell

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Pondering.

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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she looked down and said, "Well?"

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"If you must know, your head has a cootie!"

An old gal who lived in the Bronx

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Had a vast collection of Gonks

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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Then she bought a Fox Terrier

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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Used the Gonks for a barrier

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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In her bed, as the dog often honks.

There was an old fool from New Hampshire

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who said, "By my troth, 'tis a damp shire!"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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So he skipped up to Maine
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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But found unending rain
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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and resorted to using a gamp, sire.

While strolling one day in the woods

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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A wolf met some girls in red hoods
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663

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"What Luck!", declared he

--------------------
"It is better to be kind than right."

http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"I'll ask them to tea"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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And a recital of Chopin's etudes.

There were some twins called Phyllis and Gilbert

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
# 15978

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who got lost in a space owned by Hilbert

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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..., not by Gilbert and Sullivan

--------------------
Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
and resorted to using a gamp, sire.

I had to Google gamp . So, now I know [Smile]

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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but Dublin with Biddy Mulligan

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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... who sold fruits and the tastiest filberts.

A young Archimandrite named Theo...

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Had a fondness for women named Cleo.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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He had to resist

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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His wish to insist

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Which was hard, for he loved them con brio

A poet addicted to sonnets

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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Had a fondness for girls in poke bonnets
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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He would write each an ode

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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In a top secret code

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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That they couldn't decipher, doggone it!

The bishop was walking his beagle

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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When the dog got scooped up by an eagle.

[ 06. May 2014, 01:29: Message edited by: Stetson ]

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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405

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"Doggone!" quoth the Bish,

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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The dog thought, "I'm no fish",

[ 06. May 2014, 04:55: Message edited by: Curiosity killed ... ]

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"And I thought fishing here was illegal!"

While strolling one day through the park

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663

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I espied a tree with no bark

--------------------
"It is better to be kind than right."

http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com

Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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'Oh, p...lease!' said the tree,

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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"don't make fun out of me!"

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Having no bark's not a lark.

When singing one day in the choir

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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the music got higher and higher

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Stained-glass windows shattered

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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The altar cross clattered

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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And the bats all flew out of the spire.

A grey pussycat called 'Vanilla'

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Modelled her style on Godzilla

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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She'd claw you to pieces

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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That tasted like Reese's

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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At underground clubs in Manila.

A heretical pastor named Wally

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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liked to drink Bolly & Stolly

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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As he said 'kiss the bride'

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged



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