Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
and a bagpipe, in case
-------------------- Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
[When walking the Cumbrian Fells I put on my 'court jester' bells and a bagpipe, in case I couldn't keep up the pace,]
As I mumbled incantations and spells!
As I flew away from Djibouti
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
The hostess was incredibly snooty
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966
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Posted
When I pressed the "help" bell
-------------------- Pondering.
Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
she looked down and said, "Well?"
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"If you must know, your head has a cootie!"
An old gal who lived in the Bronx
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Had a vast collection of Gonks
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Then she bought a Fox Terrier
-------------------- Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Used the Gonks for a barrier
-------------------- Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
In her bed, as the dog often honks.
There was an old fool from New Hampshire
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Who said, "By my troth, 'tis a damp shire!"
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
So he skipped up to Maine
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
and resorted to using a gamp, sire.
While strolling one day in the woods
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
A wolf met some girls in red hoods
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"I'll ask them to tea"
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
And a recital of Chopin's etudes.
There were some twins called Phyllis and Gilbert
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
who got lost in a space owned by Hilbert
-------------------- "We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard (so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
..., not by Gilbert and Sullivan
-------------------- Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by piglet: and resorted to using a gamp, sire.
I had to Google gamp . So, now I know
-------------------- Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
... who sold fruits and the tastiest filberts.
A young Archimandrite named Theo...
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Had a fondness for women named Cleo.
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
He had to resist
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Which was hard, for he loved them con brio
A poet addicted to sonnets
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
He would write each an ode
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
In a top secret code
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
That they couldn't decipher, doggone it!
The bishop was walking his beagle
-------------------- Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
When the dog got scooped up by an eagle. [ 06. May 2014, 01:29: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
"Doggone!" quoth the Bish,
-------------------- Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that. Moon: Including what? Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie. Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"And I thought fishing here was illegal!"
While strolling one day through the park
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
'Oh, p...lease!' said the tree,
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
"don't make fun out of me!"
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Having no bark's not a lark.
When singing one day in the choir
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
the music got higher and higher
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Stained-glass windows shattered
-------------------- Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And the bats all flew out of the spire.
A grey pussycat called 'Vanilla'
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
She'd claw you to pieces
-------------------- Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
That tasted like Reese's
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
At underground clubs in Manila.
A heretical pastor named Wally
-------------------- I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
liked to drink Bolly & Stolly
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
As he said 'kiss the bride'
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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