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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 21)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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There once was a plumber from Norwich
Found a pipe that was chockfull of porridge

(Edited for top of page)

[ 23. August 2014, 08:04: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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With his runcible spoon
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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And a shapely spittoon

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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He consumed the whole lot, mixed with borage.

A bicycle rider called Joe

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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fell of his bike in the snow

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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as he picked himself up

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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he broke his cup

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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And shattered the bike with one blow.

My feline friend is lost

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Full of Chips
Shipmate
# 13669

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I sent her through the post
Posts: 136 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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But she will return

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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without any concern

--------------------
plug plug

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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And I'll pay the handling cost.

A lounge lizard asked "What's your sign?"

[ 25. August 2014, 00:26: Message edited by: Stetson ]

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QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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I said: "Taurus - cusp Aries - what's thine?"

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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"Leo," I cooed

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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The crowd booed
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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But I know that I'm just divine.


To my gorgeous young postman I sing

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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In the voice of a Crosby named Bing.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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I wished on the moon

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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That he'd come back at noon

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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But he's been moved to the office at Thring.

While lunching on dal and chapati

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I'd a thought that was a bit naughty

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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about a young nun

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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who had wicked good fun

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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As she saw strange shapes in her patati.

A rapper with a gravelly tone

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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swapped his mic for a traffic cone

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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with a red flashing light

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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that lit up at night

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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And he rapped out a working class drone.

The dinosaurs died, but oh why?

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Was it meteors, dropped from the sky?

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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A deadly disease?

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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A plague of fleas?

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Or some servings of rancid plum pie?

Said Pilate, in jest, "What is truth?"

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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As he had trouble finding some proof

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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"please answer me this"

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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"If I lived in Diss"

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Would storks ever nest on my roof?

When I opened the door of my car,

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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the sheep in the seat just went "baaa"

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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I said 'Are you a ewe'
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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She munched on my shoe

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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The conversation was not going far!

When catching a train south from Hull

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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We bounced off a rail squatting bull

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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Then turned left at Goole

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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And jumped in the pool

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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and now we are using a scull

My guitar string just broke with a twang

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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When giving it a pluck with my fang ,

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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My tweeter caved in

--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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So its back to violin
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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[percussion by giving it a wang!]

I once took a holiday in Ghent

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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But forgot to keep up with my rent

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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I was forced to wear clogs

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged



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