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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Trying to stash my stolen goods
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I was caught in the act
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
and was instantly sacked
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And was lectured on "shouldn'ts" and "shoulds".
There's gnashing of teeth in DC
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
And hissy fits thrown in for free
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
the votes are all counted
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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spork
Shipmate
# 18260
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Posted
All 'cos Obama needs a pee pee?
The W.I. ladies of Loughborough
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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing
Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Are nothing, if not very thorough.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
When making their jam
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Or pickling a fat juicy marrow.
The sparklers shone bright in the hands
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Of gloved children throughout all the lands
[ 06. November 2014, 20:37: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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spork
Shipmate
# 18260
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Posted
Their Grandmothers worried
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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing
Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
The firefighters furied
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Now the Pope's had the whole party banned.
I once knew a man called Bojangles.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
whose hobby was dancing on mangles
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
but one day he slipped
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
upside down then tipped,
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
And now he just hangs there and dangles.
There once was a butcher from Cairo.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
who impaled his hand on a biro
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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spork
Shipmate
# 18260
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Posted
His Mother-in-Law
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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing
Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
then fell on the floor
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
As the sight of blood made her perspire, oh!
A wireworm munching into a spud
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
I threw half in the trash
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I really don't like eating crud!
* * * *
On the Feast of my Patron Saint
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
I roll around naked in paint.
[ 08. November 2014, 15:25: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Then I sing a quick hymn
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Before I fall into a faint.
A moth who flew up to the moon
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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spork
Shipmate
# 18260
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Posted
While hummining a Wesleyan tune
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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing
Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
went too near to the sun
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
her make up did run
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And she died in the bowl of a spoon.
The lads who hang out on the plaza
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
are staggering out of the bars, er
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
Their brains, um, are where?
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
As to who can stay out of the 'casa'.
A cherry on the top of the cake
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Especially not one that's fake
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Should be juicy and plump
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
And an eye-pleasing bump
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Should be there to keep eaters awake.
I started a thread in Dead Horses
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
About gays working in the armed forces
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Or in the least re-arranged
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Which proves that it's horses for courses!
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My beleifs are somewhat syncretic
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Although some would call me pathetic.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
The theology's sound
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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