Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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spork
Shipmate
# 18260
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Posted
I believe Edward Lear profound
-------------------- God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing
Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
My beliefs are somewhat syncretic Although some would call me pathetic. The theology's sound I believe Edward Lear profound And my sermons are quite diarrhetic.
My friend has odd views on salvation
-------------------- I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
That give rise to some regurgitation.
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and vaguely New-Age-ian
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I'll give her a standing ovation.
You may want to call me a heretic
-------------------- Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
but really I'm straight
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
As a drunk's Figure 8
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
In the hands of a mad Vercingetorix.
The reason we have separate beds
-------------------- In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Is because we don't have enough sheds
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
So when love's duty calls
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
And we're in shopping malls
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
we put paper bags over our heads!
Whilst drinking a pint at the pub
-------------------- Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Sadly the staff
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Said i was riffraff
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And gave me one hell of a snub.
While queuing for Holy Communion
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I said, "I hope this will soon be done."
-------------------- Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
My legs were like lead
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
And good Father Ted
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
kept feeding the heretics onion.
The best way to saddle a cow
-------------------- In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
is to strip to your knickers and bow...
-------------------- I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
The cow bows, unfrightened
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
His ecstasy heightened
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Saddle up, now you know how!
A zebra without any stripe
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Had been cleaned too hard with a wipe,
-------------------- 'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
When he neighed, he said "Nihd"
-------------------- In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"Nor my butt, nor my mid"
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
So he left with a horrible gripe.
There once was a granny named Mable
-------------------- I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it. Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
who kept cats on her dining-room table
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
They got into her brandy
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
And became rather randy
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Then did things now the subject of fable.
A pretty young lass I'm a-courtin'
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Shared with me some toffee she had brought in.
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
Our fillings came out
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
But we didn't pout
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Since I'd brought some brown sugar for snortin'.
Said Lot while escapin' from Sodom...
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"Oh good grief! We have really hit bottom!"
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"Mmm, bottoms!" she swooned.
-------------------- I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
I think we are doomed
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
sans bog roll". So they went back and got 'em.
We decided to stop for a break
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Ate good sausages, tea, and spiced cake
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
A silly wee tarty
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Sent out for a Salisbury steak.
I've heard in the Bible it's written...
-------------------- I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
That Samson was foolishly smitten.
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
with a flashy hairdresser
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Who said, "Secrets confess, sir"
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"For twice shy, the one who's been bitten."
A nasty old biddy in Fresno
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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