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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 29)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
spork
Shipmate
# 18260

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I believe Edward Lear profound

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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing

Posts: 62 | From: Lincolnshire, England | Registered: Oct 2014  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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My beliefs are somewhat syncretic
Although some would call me pathetic.
The theology's sound
I believe Edward Lear profound
And my sermons are quite diarrhetic.

My friend has odd views on salvation

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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That give rise to some regurgitation.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sipech
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# 16870

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She's now a Pelagian

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and vaguely New-Age-ian

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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I'll give her a standing ovation.

You may want to call me a heretic

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Sipech
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# 16870

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Though I object to such a bad rhetoric

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but really I'm straight

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Stetson
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# 9597

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As a drunk's Figure 8
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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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In the hands of a mad Vercingetorix.

The reason we have separate beds

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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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Is because we don't have enough sheds

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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So when love's duty calls

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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And we're in shopping malls

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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we put paper bags over our heads!

Whilst drinking a pint at the pub

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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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I ordered a plateful of wub.

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Sadly the staff

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
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# 16929

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Said i was riffraff
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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And gave me one hell of a snub.

While queuing for Holy Communion

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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I said, "I hope this will soon be done."

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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My legs were like lead

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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And good Father Ted

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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kept feeding the heretics onion.

The best way to saddle a cow

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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Stetson
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# 9597

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is to strip to your knickers and bow...

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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The cow bows, unfrightened

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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# 9597

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His ecstasy heightened
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Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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Saddle up, now you know how!

A zebra without any stripe

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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Had been cleaned too hard with a wipe,

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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When he neighed, he said "Nihd"

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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Nor my butt, nor my mid"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sipech
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# 16870

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So he left with a horrible gripe.

There once was a granny named Mable

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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who kept cats on her dining-room table

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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They got into her brandy

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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pjl
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# 16929

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And became rather randy
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Stetson
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# 9597

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Then did things now the subject of fable.

A pretty young lass I'm a-courtin'

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Shared with me some toffee she had brought in.

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jrw
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# 18045

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Our fillings came out
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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But we didn't pout

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Stetson
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# 9597

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Since I'd brought some brown sugar for snortin'.

Said Lot while escapin' from Sodom...

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Oh good grief! We have really hit bottom!"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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"Mmm, bottoms!" she swooned.

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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I think we are doomed
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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sans bog roll". So they went back and got 'em.

We decided to stop for a break

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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Ate good sausages, tea, and spiced cake

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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But one of our party

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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A silly wee tarty

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Sent out for a Salisbury steak.

I've heard in the Bible it's written...

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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That Samson was foolishly smitten.

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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with a flashy hairdresser

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Who said, "Secrets confess, sir"

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"For twice shy, the one who's been bitten."

A nasty old biddy in Fresno

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged



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