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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 30)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
pimple

Ship's Irruption
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[A nasty old biddy in Fresno -]

Refused the police her address. "No!

[ 23. November 2014, 14:39: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]

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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Raptor Eye
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So they got out the taser

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Stetson
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But that didn't faze 'er.

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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Raptor Eye
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But that is as much as the press know.


A small child who would talk out of turn

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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Was admonished, "In hell you will burn!"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Golden Key
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She donned her asbestos

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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- no match for the testos-

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Stetson
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and now she resides in an urn.

There once was a homewrecking floozie

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L'organist
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Who invaded her neighbour's jacuzzi

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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But her luck was to turn

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Piglet
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as the water did churn

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Sipech
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And her husband popped up for a schmoozie.

There once was a Frenchman named Hector

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Raptor Eye
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Who was useless in church as a lector,

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
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but could hit a high 'A'

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Stetson
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And hold it all day
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L'organist
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To the joy of his choir director!

A elderly bishop from Norwich

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Golden Key
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Met a surly, yet kind, tsarevich*


(Son of a Russian tsar)

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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He asked "Are you bleeding?"

[ 26. November 2014, 06:59: Message edited by: Stetson ]

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
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So soft, that not heeding,

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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He mistook a wound for a sore itch.

A certain young captain of horses

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Golden Key
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Heard them speaking English, of courses

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
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Their neighing made sense

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Stetson
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but only to gents
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spork
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Who are soldiers and sailors in the forces

while attending chapel in a onesie

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God only made one of me, most people agree this is a good thing

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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I spotted a dotty old nun -- see?

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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She said "Why d'you think

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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jrw
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we built an ice rink
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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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"... if not to have lots of fun, si ?

The sister then laced up her skates

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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"... if not to have lots of fun, si ?

The sister then laced up her skates

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Golden Key
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While juggling myriad plates

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
pjl
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But during a spin
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Her flask of good GIN

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Raptor Eye
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fell and broke all the beer in the crates.

A talking blue budgie called Sammy

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Golden Key
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, A bit of a show-business hammy,

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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did his best to rhyme "purple"

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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(Underwater, it's "burple")

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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So his tweets and his farts won a Grammy.

A judge once, when sober, declared

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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That henceforth all GIN should be shared

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Stetson
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So the lawyers and clerks

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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being mendacious sharks

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Raptor Eye
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Drunk him dry, with no bottle spared.

A red-faced young lady from Barnsley

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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L'organist
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Looked like hell in a wig, quite frankly

--------------------
Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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But her natural locks

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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And her high-fashion frocks

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Sipech
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Made her wigs seem slightly less ghastly.

There once was a rumour 'bout Advent

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Raptor Eye
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Derived from words in an old document,

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Stetson
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It claimed the Twelth Night...

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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Was too early in sight

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Stetson
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Which will make every lassie and lad vent.

Said I, as I met the Grim Reaper...

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
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Who said I was my brother's keeper?

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged



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