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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
To distract his attention,
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Said I as I met the grim reaper
Who said I was my brother's keeper?
To distract his attention
I called up Jim Henson
But it only served to dig me in deeper.
When the snow came to fall on the hills
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
The postman came by with some bills
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Said he to the missus
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
So wear simpler knickers - less frills
The frost has reached parts of me which
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
I'm really not eager to itch.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
but with application of heat
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
From my thermal loo seat
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I am warm without wearing a stitch.
I know an old lady from Yarm
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
But with talons exposed
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
as others reposed
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
She slashed 'em with bloodthirsty charm.
The stawardess said to the bishop...
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
"Your Grace, would you care for some fish dip?"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
As we fly to the moon
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
with a runcible spoon
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And I wave around this branch of hyssop.
A dog with a patch on its eye
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Will never develop a sty.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Though it might get the mange
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Which could rearrange...
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Whoever'd consider a buy.
While caroling out in the snow
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Our group was attacked by a crow.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
who thought that our song
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Would call up King Kong
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
So we all just decided to go.
A large rat was afoot in the alley
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
A brown one - remarkably pally.
[ 09. December 2014, 13:52: Message edited by: pimple ]
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
It ran, all the same
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
ending up on the sea-shore in Bali.
The season of Advent's upon us
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
And our creche has a plaster Adonis.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
He came with a job lot
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And a caganer sure to astonish!
A Service of Lessons and Carols
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Ended with 'roll out the barrels'
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
We suspected the singers
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
(Oh, bother those ringers!)
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
were drunk, so we had to phone Darryl.
We piled into the back of the van
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
"That's a blatant oxymoron!" (Chan)
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
"I do declare
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Out of petrol it seems that we ran."
A stewardess, once, in mid-flight...
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
On GIN got terribly tight
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
She said, "Fashion your sheet belts"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
"particularly you celts"
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
and the queue to the loo found the key was nowhere in sight.
A pedantic old scholar from Michigan
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Was told, "You can make one last wish again."
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
With a glare and a frown
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
He threw off his gown
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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