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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 36)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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At the laughter and comments: 'No Way!'

There's a fly fallen into my soup

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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And 'twas noticed by all in my group.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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"Save me, save me" it cried

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

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Stetson
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And, so help me, I tried
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Golden Key
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# 1468

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But it flew on its own, loop de loopl

{b]A Vatican archivist said,[/b]

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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Raptor Eye
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I'm not sure about this old piece of bread!

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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it's tinged with some green

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Stetson
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and engravings obscene
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Raptor Eye
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"I'll put in some Luther instead."

The coffee morning had a poor start

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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with the archdeacon's rather loud fart

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"By my stars!" she exclaimed.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Sipech
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"I cannot be blamed,"
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kingsfold

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For th'effects of a spiced cabbage tart"


A Bishop was heard to complain

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Stetson
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'bout the prices he paid for cocaine.
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Raptor Eye
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The dealer was pleased

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Golden Key
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When the bishop sneezed

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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"Hallelujah" was their usual refrain!

* * * *

The Abbess when pouring a dram

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Was heard to exclaim, "Oh damn!"

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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As she upset her whisky

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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She told Sister Kominsky

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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"It's ruined the roly poly and jam."

A Great Dane while out on his own

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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got a call on his own mobile phone

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Sipech
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'twas his owner: old Jack

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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Saying, "I've got a sack

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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of smelly and manky old bones!"

* * * *

I formatted my new mobile last night

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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When I started an app, I got a fright:

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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the screen just went blank

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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and my confidence sank

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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But my three year old son put it right.

My head feels as if it's on fire

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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I suspect it's a bug from the choir

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451

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It prob'bly was Alice

--------------------
Oinkster

"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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[an alto with malice]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
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# 1468

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While singing, she always does gyre!

A DVD fell from the sky

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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right into a raspberry pie

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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From where did it come ?

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Raptor Eye
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London, Manchester, Brum?

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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or perhaps from the island of Skye?

The pavements are frightfully icy

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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which makes commuting quite dicey

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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So sit I cozy at home

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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# 9597

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With an elf and a gnome
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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sharing a curry - real spicy!

* * * *

One day the Bishop and I

[ 31. January 2015, 05:52: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Floated right up in the sky

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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Then strapped on a 'chute

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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played on a flute

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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And landed in a big pie!


A duck, heading south for the winter,

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Was in terrible pain from a splinter

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Well-a-day!" he did quack.

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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And "alas and alack"

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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the vet said "Would you like to meet Pinter?"

I've brought my own lunch and a flask

--------------------
plug plug

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Porridge
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# 15405

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To accomplish the following task:

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged



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