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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Which gave him a fit of the 'palps'!
There was a small dog from Gibraltar
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
who swam all the way over to Malta
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
where he found a cute bitch
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
concealed in a ditch
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
But being dogs they avoided the altar.
It's May and there's still ice on the lake
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
So this morning some dashing young rake
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Showed off his new skates
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
To his mum and his mates
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
But found out too late they'd no brake.
Strumming one day on my dulcimer
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I turned up the stove to a full simmer.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
The strings all got burnt
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
And the lesson I've learnt...
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
is of hope, I haven't a glimmer!
When walking the broad streets of fife
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
He goes hand in hand with his wife
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
their kids are there, too
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
With their pet kangaroo
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Called Keith, originally from Fife.
Last Sunday the Dean caused a commotion
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
He was spotted with calamine lotion!
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
As he mounted the pulpit
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
His dress quite decrepit
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
he remembered he should be in Coton
There was a ventriloquist from Filey
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Whose demeanor was really quite smiley,
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
His dummies, however...
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
whatever the weather
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
(I have a horible feeling that the last line of this might end in 'udders feeled')
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
She loved to roll over in a muddy field
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
She rolled into a cow
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
(yes, the udders are getting closer, unless someone will be kind enough to prove me wrong...)
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Who was udderless -- wow!
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Now star of a freak show in Petersfield.
The thunder was loud and quite frightening
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
| IP: Logged
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
and the air was electric with lightning
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
A little white mouse
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
scuttled into my house
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
decided to be a bit risque
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Took off all my clothes
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
put a ring in my nose
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
And had a quick roll in the hay.
For the weekend I have a big plan
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
which involves not a quiche but a flan
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
Volovants, dainties,
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Presented so quaintly
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And all to please . . . guess who . . . a man!
When trimming the garden last weekend
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
A motorbike roared round the bend
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
| IP: Logged
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
He pulled into a skid
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
into the compost he slid
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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DangerousDeacon
Shipmate
# 10582
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Posted
Now he knows that the road was a dead end.
There was a young theist from Sydney
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'All the same, it may be that I am wrong; what I take for gold and diamonds may be only a little copper and glass.'
Posts: 506 | From: Top End | Registered: Oct 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
who donated his precious left kidney
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
But the one on the right
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
he held onto tight
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
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