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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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My garden is looking just fine
Though I might cut back that old pine
With the flowers in bloom


Of the Roses and Broom

edited to add previous lines

[ 17. June 2015, 20:24: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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I think I'll sit back and drink wine!

* * * *

The new interest rates at my bank

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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jacobsen

seeker
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Are something for which I should thank

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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the powers that be

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
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Who care not for me

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jacobsen

seeker
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Quite frankly, their principles stank.


He warbled, he postured and wept

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but had rarely seen such inept

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Kwesi
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# 10274

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It wasn't the fumble
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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or even the mumble

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
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That had aroused him while he slept.

The crocodile opened its mouth

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Pursuing the swimmer due south

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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jrw
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It felt a bit peckish

--------------------
plug plug

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Kwesi
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An arm did it relish
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jacobsen

seeker
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And the taste - one can only say Wowth


A pussy-cat chasing its tail

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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was hit on the nose with a flail

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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ArachnidinElmet
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# 17346

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It spat and it clawed

--------------------
'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929

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But its aim was flawed
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jrw
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so now it stays home and reads braille.

The other cats came round to call

--------------------
plug plug

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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in spring, in summer and fall

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Porridge
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# 15405

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But in winter, alas

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Kwesi
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# 10274

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It turned on the gas
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jacobsen

seeker
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And ran his car straight up a wall.

The star in the rhyme's told to "twinkle"

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Kwesi
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But it raised no more than a crinkle
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jacobsen

seeker
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The comets all wept

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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While the children all slept

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Kwesi
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And the man in the moon peeled a winkle.

A Scotman threw out his sporran

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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when travelling twixt Oban and Arran

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Whilst hunting the haggis

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and counting his baggies

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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And swearing at those who were Foreign

I'm trying my best to work hard

--------------------
- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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by greasing my cell mates with lard

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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They slip and they slide

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and sometimes they glide

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Sipech
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# 16870

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And they even knocked over the guard!

*tangent*
Getting one limerick to follow on from the last
*/tangent*


As I made my escape from the clink

[ 25. June 2015, 14:44: Message edited by: Sipech ]

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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I was quite desperate for a drink

[ 25. June 2015, 15:36: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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No pub could I see

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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So I settled for tea

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
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In a bone china cup: chink chink.

When I settled the bill as I left

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jrw
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Well, who should appear but the chef?

--------------------
plug plug

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jacobsen

seeker
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He appeared quite distraught

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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well, really he ought

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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For his palate of taste is bereft.

The portions they put on the table

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Are the size and proportions of fable

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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(I speak of the feasts

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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when they slaughter the beasts

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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And gave thanks to the prophets of Babel.

Nimrod, a hunter of legend,

Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Whose posts failed, when he tried to re-send

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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knew he should update

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
pimple

Ship's Irruption
# 10635

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but he scanned it badly and far too late

--------------------
In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)

Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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So reverted to pens in the end.


The birdsong is clamouring loudly

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged



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