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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
My garden is looking just fine
Though I might cut back that old pine
With the flowers in bloom
Of the Roses and Broom
edited to add previous lines
[ 17. June 2015, 20:24: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I think I'll sit back and drink wine!
* * * *
The new interest rates at my bank
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Are something for which I should thank
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
the powers that be
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Who care not for me
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Quite frankly, their principles stank.
He warbled, he postured and wept
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
but had rarely seen such inept
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
It wasn't the fumble
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
or even the mumble
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
That had aroused him while he slept.
The crocodile opened its mouth
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Pursuing the swimmer due south
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
An arm did it relish
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
And the taste - one can only say Wowth
A pussy-cat chasing its tail
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
was hit on the nose with a flail
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
It spat and it clawed
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
But its aim was flawed
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
so now it stays home and reads braille.
The other cats came round to call
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
in spring, in summer and fall
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
But in winter, alas
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
It turned on the gas
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
And ran his car straight up a wall.
The star in the rhyme's told to "twinkle"
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
But it raised no more than a crinkle
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
The comets all wept
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
While the children all slept
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
And the man in the moon peeled a winkle.
A Scotman threw out his sporran
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
when travelling twixt Oban and Arran
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Whilst hunting the haggis
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and counting his baggies
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
And swearing at those who were Foreign
I'm trying my best to work hard
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
by greasing my cell mates with lard
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
They slip and they slide
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and sometimes they glide
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
And they even knocked over the guard!
*tangent*
Getting one limerick to follow on from the last
*/tangent*
As I made my escape from the clink
[ 25. June 2015, 14:44: Message edited by: Sipech ]
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I was quite desperate for a drink
[ 25. June 2015, 15:36: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
No pub could I see
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
So I settled for tea
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
In a bone china cup: chink chink.
When I settled the bill as I left
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
Well, who should appear but the chef?
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
He appeared quite distraught
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
well, really he ought
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
For his palate of taste is bereft.
The portions they put on the table
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Are the size and proportions of fable
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
(I speak of the feasts
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
when they slaughter the beasts
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274
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Posted
And gave thanks to the prophets of Babel.
Nimrod, a hunter of legend,
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Whose posts failed, when he tried to re-send
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
but he scanned it badly and far too late
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
So reverted to pens in the end.
The birdsong is clamouring loudly
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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