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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 52)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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And head off to a country more chummy.

[ 16. July 2015, 00:31: Message edited by: Jamat ]

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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One day in the midst of the ocean

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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I felt queezy because of the motion

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibįwa weyu lįrigi weyu

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Kwesi
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# 10274

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It wasn't the brine
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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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or even the sign

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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But the silence that caused my commotion.

On my way to the kirk I was stopped

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jrw
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# 18045

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by a woman whose hair had been cropped
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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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She asked me for cash

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibįwa weyu lįrigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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her face I did bash

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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At confession the pastor's eyes popped!

A strong breeze swept his titfer away

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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"Oh, leave me my wig, he did pray,"

[ 18. July 2015, 22:55: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

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Jamat
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# 11621

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And her wig inadvertently dropped

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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Ignore previous post, behind the times, sorry

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and left with the switch

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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He put in a stitch

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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to fix it for e'er and a day!

* * * *

When fishing one day from the bridge

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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I caught my line on a fridge

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibįwa weyu lįrigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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The fish were amazed

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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At the words that were raised

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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As I disappeared over the ridge!

When the kingfisher dropped his fish dinner

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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He shouted out "I'm a sinner!"

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibįwa weyu lįrigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but to be absolved

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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he later evolved

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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an oratory right out in Pinner!

* * * *

My collection of movies is mounting

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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My head is still spinning from counting

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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But they're all rated X
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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'cos they depict some bad sex

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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And the Ten Commandments they're flouting.

Sepp Blatter in bank notes was drowning

Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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his blood pressure steadily mounting

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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So he set himself free

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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with remarkable glee

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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By diving (full nude) in a fountain.

There once was a hamster called Kevin

[ 22. July 2015, 16:51: Message edited by: Sipech ]

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Oscar the Grouch

Adopted Cascadian
# 1916

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Who asked "Is it true I'm in heaven?"

--------------------
Faradiu, dundeibįwa weyu lįrigi weyu

Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Saint Peter replied

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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"It's blazing inside
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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but come in and meet all of the brethren


When a shark saw a surfer one day

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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he decided to look on E-Bay

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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For a new set of dentures

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and then perhaps wrenches

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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To hold his poor victim in play.


My garden is looking so good

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Ębleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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Though the pond has turned into mud
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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which the kiddies adore

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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But the bimbo next door

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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thinks it lowers the tone of the 'hood!

* * * *

When paddling one day in the bay

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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A shark sans teeth blocked my way
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Oh God - not another!

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Ębleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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It reminds me of mother.

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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whose dentures got lost in the Tay

"'Ere, Bert, are you wearing my teeth?"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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Croaked a crone from the docklands of Leith.
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621

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Nah I got them real cheap

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged



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