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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » The Shiny New Limericks Thread (Page 64)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
pjl
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# 16929

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And a slice of yam
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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# 9597

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There once was an old man of Galilee
Who cooked fish by the lake with a bain-marie
He topped it with spam
And a slice of yam
And served it to drunks in an alley.

The cheerleaders, twirling their skirts...

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Were shown to their quarters in yurts

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Jammy Dodger

Half jam, half biscuit
# 17872

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One tripped and she fell

--------------------
Look at my eye twitching - Donkey from Shrek

Posts: 438 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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and gave a great yell

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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# 9597

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As her teammates all giggled in spurts.

Said God, over coffee, to Satan...

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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You've really developed quite a tan

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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But beware of your tongue

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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jrw
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# 18045

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by wasps I was stung

--------------------
plug plug

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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I think you should hand them a ban!

* * * *

The Bishop and the Dean had a bet

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
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As to who'd win the next tennis set

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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But the dean's ball was out

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Jamat
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# 11621

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And the loss meant his 'shout'

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

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Raptor Eye
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Cost him dear, he's not over it yet.


The cop rolled his eyes and he sighed

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

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Jamat
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As he noted the licence had expired

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
jrw
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# 18045

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He said "You are nicked"

--------------------
plug plug

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Your card has been ticked

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
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# 10274

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But her pout could not be denied.

Goliath checked in for an Afro

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jrw
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and afterwards did to the caff go

--------------------
plug plug

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jacobsen

seeker
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Alas, the barista

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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had an angry young sister

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Who thought the whole think was a naff go.


Hooray for half term - it's tomorrow!

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
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# 10274

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No time for inebriate sorrow
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
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I'll dust off my bike

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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And call my friend, Spike

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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And dodge a red cape yelling "Toro!!"

So Playboy no longer shows nudes

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
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# 1468

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Nor Chopin compose stunning etudes

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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I'll go for a walk

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
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# 10274

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And engage in small- talk
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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then concentrate on my family's feuds.

* * * *

It's strange how I never miss Blighty

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
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# 16929

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Except when wearing my nightie
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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It's so snug and warm

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
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# 10274

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As it clings to my form
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
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As I sing Did Those Feet, deep and mighty.

In the morning, I hate being sober

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
Shipmate
# 10274

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As a judge on the rocks pickled in Dover
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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but sometimes needs must

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
pjl
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# 16929

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Surrender to my lust
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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I must find a partner who's flighty.


I'm off on my travels today

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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on a bike I bought on E-bay

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
earrings
Shipmate
# 13306

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I am aiming to visit

--------------------
My blog musings on all sorts of stuff https://priscillavicar.wordpress.com/

Posts: 135 | From: West Midlands | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged
roybart
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# 17357

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(God, what rhymes with visit?)

--------------------
"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton

Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
jrw
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# 18045

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Rome. It's not far, is it?

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Jamat
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And I'll get on the road right away

A fisherman told a bold tale

--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)

Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
roybart
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# 17357

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of a maiden, a shark, and a snail.

--------------------
"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton

Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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The maiden so fair

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
earrings
Shipmate
# 13306

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rode down the street, bare

--------------------
My blog musings on all sorts of stuff https://priscillavicar.wordpress.com/

Posts: 135 | From: West Midlands | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Whilst the others, in the inn, quaffed ale!

* * * *

When quaffing some ale in the inn

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
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# 16649

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I got my foot caught in the bin

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Kwesi
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# 10274

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In the bin was the maid
Posts: 1641 | From: South Ofankor | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
roybart
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# 17357

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That is all, I'm afraid.

--------------------
"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton

Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged



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