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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Who sang in a voice thin and squawky
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
There was a young lad from Milwaukee
Who sang in a voice thin and squawky
But as he grew older
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And the weather grew colder
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
He stopped singing and just played hockey.
A pious young nun from Atlanta
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Published her memoirs in Granta.
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
But the Brits thought this belle
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
had no story to tell
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
So she drowned all her woes in orange Fanta.
My wife can be seen on Page 3
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
Posing topless hugging a tree
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
To the one who thus snapped her
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I say 'You're a cad sir'
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
"She is usually found hugging me."
The remarkable Vicar of Kew
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
"She is usually found hugging me."
The remarkable Vicar of Kew
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Found himself in a clerical stew
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
was about Zebedee
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
And in so doing, he jumped on a pew.
I once knew a boy from Tintagel
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Who strained 'neath the weight of his satchel
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Muttered he: "Oh, these books!"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
As the crowd gave him looks
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Though his strain was more put-on than actual.
May I break with tradition and post the first two lines? It's a limerick that Tom Driberg set for his friend Constant Lambert, and Lambert finished it (while giving a piano recital!) and I've always wondered how he might have done it.
The Bishop of Glasgow and Galloway
Preferred Artie Shaw to Cab Calloway
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Nor yet young Tim
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Put his book of Pensées by Pascal away.
The altar guild ladies were vexed
[ 06. June 2014, 16:12: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
They couldn't decide what was next
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
or maybe The Choir
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Or readings from Semiotext(e).
My boyfriend wears wretched cologne
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
So high does he reek
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
That our friends cannot speak
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
'Cuz his fragrance is so overblown.
An old couple named Elmer and Edith
[ 07. June 2014, 00:51: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
dined on cold tea and warm bara brith
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
like heroes they fed
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
on crempog, Welsh cakes, cawl and forthwith.
There once was a cyclist from Paris
eta a slightly better rhythm
[ 07. June 2014, 11:47: Message edited by: Curiosity killed ... ]
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Who had a most terrible pain in the Arris
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
So he jumped in the Seine
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
But alas, 'twas in vain
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Though it got him a gig with Chuck Barris.
There once was a drunken old brawler
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Known widely as a pub-crawler
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
He once had a fight
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
When horrendously tight
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Whose priest was summat a twerker
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
He'd hop on the altar
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
To remove every last little lurker.
There was once a fair maiden from Bognor
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Who cooked great spaghetti bologna
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
But her use of hot peppers
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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