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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: 'See! The Postilion has been struck by an Asteroid
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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343
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Posted
Can Shipmates supply extracts from an up-market intergalactic phrase-book (or guide)?
Sample: 'That is a most courteous initation, Sir/Madam, but unfortunately our corporeal configurations are incompatible.'
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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'
Posts: 486 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
"Thank you for introducing me to your mother. She was charming and delicious."
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Not intergalactic, but there were the famous (invented) Continental hotel brochures by Gerard Hoffnung which promised "French widows in every room affording stupendous prospects" while also regretting, "Alas, we cannot abide your auto".
Also the Colonial phrasebook which allegedly had the Swahili for, "Please call the guard, my camel is being sick in the luggage-van".
But those might be somewhat tangential ...
[ 18. February 2016, 11:22: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Yes, we do have segregated dining for those who wish to digest their food externally.
Would the owner of the cloaked battle cruiser please see a member of staff as soon as possible, as several customers have already crashed into it, thinking that the parking space was available.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
I advise that you employ the vigour, Bright One.
I am in a spot of emotional distress occasioned by your skeptical attitude.
The procurer of unauthorised goods discharged his weapon first.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Sir, I reject your claim of biological paternal relationship to me in the strongest possible terms.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
These are not the artificial servants whose location you are attempting to establish. I am a gentleman so you know I am telling the truth.
My apologies, Sir. I did not mean to question the word of a gentleman.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
He/she/it/hir/hes is no longer viable, James.
I am a medical practitioner, not a dismantler of asteroid belts/ investigator of planetary cores/ navigator of starships and smaller conveyances.
She(he/it/hir/hes) canna maintain her current status for a significant length of time into the future, Captain!
Cause it to become manifest.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Higgs Bosun
Shipmate
# 16582
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Not intergalactic, but there were the famous (invented) Continental hotel brochures by Gerard Hoffnung which promised "French widows in every room affording stupendous prospects" while also regretting, "Alas, we cannot abide your auto".
...
But those might be somewhat tangential ...
They were advertised as letters from Tyrolean hotel keepers. I like:
"In the close village you can buy happy memorials for when you pass away"
"Although I am not very good in bath, I am excellent in bed!"
Posts: 313 | From: Near the Tidal Thames | Registered: Aug 2011
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
"Excuse me sir, you appear to have fed my mother-in-law to your sarlacc"
To which the correct reply is: "You're welcome".
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
"Is that your ray-gun, or are you just pleased to see me?"
"Guess, but if you'd let me place it in your black hole, I'll show you".
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Oi, giant robot. Pick on a planet your own size.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
'In our language, it is considered incorrect to split an infinitive.'
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Is it not uncomfortable to insert a fish into your ear? Would you not prefer to acquire a copy of this excellent phrasebook, available from all purveyors of superior reading material?
'Kindly call the pest control chappy! Kindly call the pest control chappy!'
'Oh how tiresome. Once more our vacation is interrupted by the arrival of unmannerly yahoos in giant pepperpot machines. Let us ascend the nearest escalier and await the arrival of medical personnel.'
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
"Oh, you're not Muslims? That's fine, then- President Trump will see you now."
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
"It is a fine day, is it not."
"Yes, it rarely rains in space."
"How long have you been marooned here on this asteroid?"
"I have been here since I was hijacked by space pirates/the interstellar traffic wardens clamped my ship in a forcefield and are demanding a ransom I cannot pay/a metal-eating space creature ate my spacecraft."
"Oh, that is bad luck/very fortunate/how life is sometimes."
"Indeed. I thank you for your commiseration and wish that you live in an interesting time/the length of your days seems very long to you."
"I also and you."
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
The dread mystery at the heart of the universe has hiccupped, please catch the nearest supernova and reposition orthagonal to the vectored pre-event sightline, then establish in which dimension your consciousness is operating.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Visitors to the intergalactic open museum are advised to leave at least 5m distance between them and the flesh eating exhibits, many of whom have exceedingly long and swift-moving tentacles.
Madam, I regret that no vegetarian exhibits are available for you to str....oh dear, too late.
Sir, we regret the sad impetuosity of your mate/wife/partner/servitor and would like to offer you our delux container to transport her/its remains back to your planet. This service is funded by the X-World insurance policy and is free of charge to all humanoids. Your limb count will naturally be checked prior to release of funds. No, the limb count of your mate/wife/partner/servitor is no longer relevant. Her/its head was recorded on our imaging system before ingestion.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
The truth is out there.
You eat WHAT?
What do you mean, I have to get a receipt when I use the restroom?
We took a wrong turn at Aldebaran.
How many hyperspace exits until the next rest stop? And YES, Junior, you CAN wait!
Excuse me, but how fresh is the gach [Klingon specialty] in the vending machine? And what have you been feeding it?
Mr. Escher, there seems to be a problem with your staircase. Our guests are NOT amused!
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343
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Posted
'I have to inform you that under intergalactic law, to remove the entity that appears to have partially ingested you would constitute an infringement of its inalienable rights.'
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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'
Posts: 486 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008
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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343
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Posted
Sorry, for 'remove' read 'deactivate.'
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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'
Posts: 486 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
At dinner, it is considered polite to use the left hand for the knife, the right hand for the fork and the middle hand for the anti-matter chopsticks.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
'In our language, it is considered incorrect to even accidentally split an infinitive.'
Fixed it for you.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343
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Posted
'Regrettably, I appear to have become lodged in your neural cortex. Pray forgive me if I deactivate you briefly in order to proceed with the necessary reprogramming of your brain.'
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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'
Posts: 486 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008
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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343
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Posted
This thread seems to be dying, but before it expires completely, one more for the road:
'Respected stranger, I had no wish to alarm your female. I was merely greeting her in the manner customary on this planet.'
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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'
Posts: 486 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
"That's not my hand you're shaking"
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
"That's not my hand you're shaking"
But don't stop just yet ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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