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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Thinking about one's own death
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Anglican_Brat
Shipmate
# 12349
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Posted
I find myself reflecting on my own mortality in light of a number of deaths recently. I wonder where is the line between healthy awareness of one's own death and a morbid fascination with it.
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It's Reformation Day! Do your part to promote Christian unity and brotherly love and hug a schismatic.
Posts: 4332 | From: Vancouver | Registered: Feb 2007
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
I suppose one might say that the line is drawn at the point where you find yourself spending more time thinking about the how and when of dying than the enjoyment of the life you still have. Interesting question.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Galilit
Shipmate
# 16470
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Posted
Well, once you've crossed it a few times you get a better balance
That is my experience
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She who does Her Son's will in all things can rely on me to do Hers.
Posts: 624 | From: a Galilee far, far away | Registered: Jun 2011
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Nicodemia
WYSIWYG
# 4756
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Posted
Sensible to sort out the practicalities - make sure your executor knows he/she is going to have to do the paperwork etc. Tell them what you want - full scale choral service or quiet and quick at cemetery/crematorium, flowers/no flowers, who has what of personal items etc.
And then get on with life. However much/little you think you might have.
Posts: 4544 | From: not too far from Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
One of my New Years Day chores is to update a document I call "My Affairs."
It's a listing of end-of-life directives and instructions for funeral, cremation and disposition of ashes. It's also a listing of my computer login and password, bank accounts, insurance policies and debts. Finally, it's a list of whom (other than family and relatives) to notify.
After updating, I distribute it to all family members.
Morbid? Perhaps. But practical.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
It is an interesting question, but I don't think there is a correct answer. I know people who never think about death, and others who think about it a lot, and I would hate to tell either one that they are wrong.
So much depends on one's individual circumstances, personality, and so on.
I suppose morbidity comes in when someone longs for death, but that is not an easy issue to deal with. But to think about death a lot is not in itself morbid, I would say, in fact, it might represent a valuable turn in someone's life.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
Seems to me that there are two possible angles of discussion here, and it isn't entirely clear which the OP is talking about.
There is the whole thing about planning one's funeral. Which I personally think is an imposition on those left behind - the funeral should surely be something for them not for the deceased. That said, I do see that it might be helpful, but I will be ignoring almost all requests if/when I ever have to arrange a funeral for my close relatives.
The other aspect, I think, is more interesting to discuss - namely the awareness of one's own mortality and inevitability of death. In general, there may well be good reasons for most of us to spend more time thinking about it - getting our finances in sensible order, contemplating the complicated loose-ends we might leave behind if we suddenly die, remembering to tell our loved ones that they are our loved ones, trying not to leave broken relationships in a broken state and so on.
Too much might lead to paralysis.. but possibly many would be more humble, generous and kind if they thought that any given day could be their last.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Bibaculus
Shipmate
# 18528
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Posted
Is this, I wonder, an age thing? At least in part? I am of an age when death is probably still a fair way off, so I do not much think about it. I would think that maybe if I was much older, and death seemed around the corner, it might be on my mind more.
Of course I am sure some 90 year olds think they are going to live forever, and some 14 year olds think about death all the time.
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A jumped up pantry boy who never knew his place
Posts: 257 | From: In bed. Mostly. When I can get away with it. | Registered: Dec 2015
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
We have lost four out of five parents in the last few years and the 'last one standing' (Mr Boog's stepmum) is 95 and fading. I think this is what gets us considering our own deaths, losing others who are close to us.
My Dad and Mr Boogs Dad both died very suddenly after a short illness and in hospital. My Mum and Mr Boog's Mum died very, very slowly and at home. Surprisingly, I would choose the latter. It was a peaceful time and pain free (thanks to excellent modern medicine) Hospitals don't seem to want to allow people to die and they interfere too much in a very natural, gentle process. All those tubes and oxygen, feeding tubes and such are a silliness when all the body is trying to do is shut down natutrally.
When Mum was dying I put this on the 'Aging parents' thread. It describes a natural death, the last stages of life. I found/find it very reassuring.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican_Brat:
I find myself reflecting on my own mortality in light of a number of deaths recently. I wonder where is the line between healthy awareness of one's own death and a morbid fascination with it.
If it becomes a preoccupation that colours everything, then try to switch off and do something lighter.
I've also been reflecting on my own mortality, but find it can add perspective. Like Galilit, I've had my own brushes with mortality and I came out of one thinking about a former annoyance: do I want to take that into the dark with me? Do I want my last days to be coloured by that?
Life is short: make the most of it while you can. We've all lost people we love: live the way they would want you to live, not with denial and regrets and constant tears, but enjoy the good things, honour their emotional and moral legacies to you. You won't always succeed, but the important thing is to try.
The world is a far more dangerous place than it was. I think of this every time I cross London, in and out of major railway stations, which are guarded by armed police: but if your number is up, it's up and there's nothing you can do about it. Live your life as best you can until then.
And yes I have made my will. Always do that if there is anyone or any cause you care about.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
There is the whole thing about planning one's funeral. Which I personally think is an imposition on those left behind - the funeral should surely be something for them not for the deceased. That said, I do see that it might be helpful, but I will be ignoring almost all requests if/when I ever have to arrange a funeral for my close relatives.
But surely it would help to know what the deceased would have liked. After all, you'll be in mourning; will it really make you feel better to completely disregard what they would have liked? Perhaps it depends on the nature of the relationship you had with them.
OTOH, I can understand the need to put aside requests that are too complicated or too expensive to fulfil.
In my case, I'm aware that the kinds of funerals that are popular in my background might be too expensive for me or close family members to afford. And should I live a long life, the old women who kept the cultural traditions going will be long gone. So who knows what kind of funeral I'll have? I think my younger brother will eventually appreciate it if I give him a list of hymns and readings, though - less for him to think about when the time comes.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
... There is the whole thing about planning one's funeral. Which I personally think is an imposition on those left behind - the funeral should surely be something for them not for the deceased. That said, I do see that it might be helpful, but I will be ignoring almost all requests if/when I ever have to arrange a funeral for my close relatives. ...
Mr Cheesy, IMHO that is wrong on both counts. If the deceased person has expressed their wishes and those wishes are practical and achievable, we owe it to them to follow their wishes. Nor is it a wholesome approach to say this is about me or us, rather than about them.
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
I suppose an awareness of the reality of ones own death is a healthy state to be in. To realise that you are not immortal, that you will decease at some point, is positive, because it tends to give a perspective that is helpful.
One thing about the various peoples for whom ancestor memory is important (including Chinese ancestor veneration, Jewish ancestor appreciation and African veneration) helps to keep in mind that all the great people before us have died, and we will too, but that our family will remember us. I think it gives a good sense of mortality, and our place in history (which is, eventually, none). Maybe we have lost that in much of Western society.
The other side, where the only thing that occupies our thoughts is our own death, or where this moves to planning it (rather than just for it), that is dangerously obsessional. Obviously, in some circumstances, that may be a short term natural response, but more than very short term, is a dangerous path to be on.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Bibaculus:
Is this, I wonder, an age thing? At least in part? I am of an age when death is probably still a fair way off, so I do not much think about it. I would think that maybe if I was much older, and death seemed around the corner, it might be on my mind more.
Of course I am sure some 90 year olds think they are going to live forever, and some 14 year olds think about death all the time.
I think that's right, in the main. Young people probably feel immortal in a sense, and hence are able to do risky things. Middle-aged people become more cautious, as they begin to realize their mortality.
This seems quite a natural development. But you also get people who are plagued by thoughts of death from an early age - I am just reading the biog of Sylvia Plath who was like this. Unfortunately, I don't think that her carers could deal with it, and her obsession became reality.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
My father has said that he wants a small, close-family-only funeral, i.e. 8 people present.
I have made it quite clear to him that the last thing I will be doing in the immediate aftermath of his death is explaining to assorted blameless members of the wider family that Dad didn't regard them as close enough to attend his funeral.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Augustine the Aleut
Shipmate
# 1472
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Posted
Such morbid threads bring me to realize that I need to update my will.
I have already begun discussions to have a local roller derby team be the servers at my wake. Such planning exercises bring me much agreeable satisfaction. Shipmates are, of course, welcome to attend.
Posts: 6236 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Oct 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I plan to have the full works at mine, including having my coffin piped out to the tune "Dark Island".
Any Shipmates who wanted to experience the foretaste of Heaven that is the sound of bagpipes in a small rural church would be most welcome.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
hosting/
I realise the temptation to drift into "what I'd like done at my funeral" is hard to resist here, but if it's indulged in, this thread will likely be sent, appropriately enough, to Heaven.
/hosting
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Mr Cheesy, IMHO that is wrong on both counts. If the deceased person has expressed their wishes and those wishes are practical and achievable, we owe it to them to follow their wishes. Nor is it a wholesome approach to say this is about me or us, rather than about them.
Enoch, I appreciate that other views are available, but I dispute that my understanding is "wrong", it is just different to yours.
The dead are dead. Nothing that happens at a funeral makes any difference to them. They might have gotten a modicum of comfort in planning their own funeral, but the plans may themselves be entirely inappropriate for those left behind. I do not believe I owe anything to the deceased at the funeral, except space to enable grieving of the bereaved. Hence I do not and will not feel constrained by the views of the dead and will not be held captive by people who wish to try to exert control over those left behind even in death.
And I find your comment about what is or isn't wholesome quite inappropriate. The funeral is most definitely not about the dead.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
But surely it would help to know what the deceased would have liked. After all, you'll be in mourning; will it really make you feel better to completely disregard what they would have liked? Perhaps it depends on the nature of the relationship you had with them.
I think it is a modern fashion to think one can plan things right down to determining the make-up of ones own funeral. And I think it is wrong to think the funeral is about the dead, as I have said above.
It isn't about disregarding, but it is about recognising that some things which are planned are not appropriate. As the dead are not going to be affected, there is no need to take their wishes as anything other than a request or pointer.
quote:
OTOH, I can understand the need to put aside requests that are too complicated or too expensive to fulfil.
It isn't about cost (or at least not just about cost) it can also be about self perception which ignores the reality of the experience of bereavement.
For example I have on a few occasions been to "celebration" funerals where the enforced mood was upbeat. I have noticed several relatives at times struggling with this. If a relative stated that they wanted this, but I believed this was not what the bereaved actually needed, I would be completely wrong in inflicting it upon everyone.
There are various other things that I can imagine other people I know might want to plan for their funeral that I would not necessarily agree with.
Assuming of course that I was in some kind of position to influence the funeral.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
Is this really going to turn into a discussion about funerals? Bloody hell.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
"Integrity versus Despair" is Erik Erikson's end of life stage of lifespan development, preceeded by "Generativity versus Stagnation". It makes for good understanding. Many links on the 'net.
Some of the transition between the two seems to be that your kids really don't want or need any direction from you as they enter their late 20s and early 30s. While the deaths if parents may provoke some of this, when like aged friends begin to die in their middle age seemed more challenging to me.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
Yes, I think people usually accept parents' deaths, as somehow part of the natural order, (unless they are young), but friends' deaths seem to really drill into us. Personally, I find it shattering.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
I think it is wrong to think the funeral is about the dead, as I have said above.
It isn't about disregarding, but it is about recognising that some things which are planned are not appropriate. As the dead are not going to be affected, there is no need to take their wishes as anything other than a request or pointer.
Ah, I think the difference between us is cultural.
I can't imagine that the many Christians I know who passed away last year would have made inappropriate requests, or requests that the bereaved would have founded upsetting or offensive.
Many British families are probably less united in terms of what they deem to be acceptable, but I haven't come across that myself.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
Yes, I think people usually accept parents' deaths, as somehow part of the natural order, (unless they are young), but friends' deaths seem to really drill into us. Personally, I find it shattering.
Yes, it certainly makes for clear thinking about the reality of death when ones' circle of contact starts to shrink. I find it encouraging though that we in the tap group have an average age of 76 and we're still going strong! We're realists and have no illusions about our future.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Cathscats
Shipmate
# 17827
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Posted
A few years ago I was undergoing tests for what could have been a speedy and fatal cancer, from which my own mother had recently died (as in a couple of months before). The most helpful thing I did in the weeks of tests and diagnosis (of a benign, though painful tumour) was to take an afternoon, on holiday with the family, when I didn't feel up to anything strenuous. I sat in the sun and simply thought about the possibility that life might soon be over for me. It turns out there is all the difference in the world between knowing that you will die someday - we all know that, or should do - and knowing that there is a day when you will die.
My day was not imminent, as this post proves. But one day it will be, and having faced it once, I will know better how to face it again. Knowing that, I can put it aside and get on with life in this wonderful world.
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"...damp hands and theological doubts - the two always seem to go together..." (O. Douglas, "The Setons")
Posts: 176 | From: Central Highlands | Registered: Sep 2013
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Having worked in a couple of church offices, I found that if the deceased had expressed any wishes about their services it made it easier for the family. They're grieving and often unable to think very clearly, and it's a big help to them to know that Grandpa always loved "For All the Saints" (or whatever) and wanted it at his funeral. Knowing their wishes doesn't mean they have to follow them, but it gives them some ideas, and perhaps some comfort.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
This is especially true if you have a strong opinion about what your obsequies should be like. If you want to be shot off into lower Earth orbit in a rocket, do tell somebody. Otherwise it's not going to happen. Many people cannot bear to contemplate the subject. They're not going to get any say.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
One of my New Years Day chores is to update a document I call "My Affairs."
It's a listing of end-of-life directives and instructions for funeral, cremation and disposition of ashes. It's also a listing of my computer login and password, bank accounts, insurance policies and debts. Finally, it's a list of whom (other than family and relatives) to notify.
After updating, I distribute it to all family members.
Morbid? Perhaps. But practical.
What a good idea. I shall get on to it asap.
As for funerals:
The Grandad had made no plans and the funeral was a tribute to his person, his life and works
But I have chosen hymns and readings, I suppose as a final statement of who I am and where I stand. Rather mixed actually (Donne's 'Death, be not proud' alongside Henley's 'Margarita sororae'?)
Like Woody Allen, I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Or at least, give me another ten or so reasonably comfortable years. Dad (93) wanted to beat his uncle (92).
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I think it's important to live each day in full consciousness that it might be our last. That is not to suggest that we eat, drink and be merry while we can, but rather to suggest that we still have the opportunity to serve God until our very last breath, to make a positive difference to the world for the sake of all. If we can do nothing else, we can continue to pray for other people.
Ref the op, a morbid fascination would imply that there is more to think through concerning death, perhaps as to whether or not there is an afterlife, and/or whether death is something to be afraid of.
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Anglican_Brat
Shipmate
# 12349
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Posted
I originally intended to talk about our existential feelings about death but discussing concrete things such as funerals and wills might be a way of establishing some amount of control.
I recently registered to be an organ donor after I die. I figured that once I'm gone, if my organs can help someone else, I would rather them be of some use than buried or cremated. Even though I'm only 32, I'm also thinking of writing my will as well. Perhaps my awareness of mortality is fueling these conversations in my head.
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It's Reformation Day! Do your part to promote Christian unity and brotherly love and hug a schismatic.
Posts: 4332 | From: Vancouver | Registered: Feb 2007
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
The dead are dead. Nothing that happens at a funeral makes any difference to them.... The funeral is most definitely not about the dead.
A requiem mass helps their progress through Purgatory.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I went into shock through blood loss in July 1998. I know that if the hospital hadn't been brilliant and pulled me back, my last thoughts before going into shock would have been literally my last thoughts. My last feelings would have been literally my last feelings. And it was all good then - very peaceful and drifty and golden. If, when I die, it's like that again, it won't be a bad experience.
I haven't been afraid of death since then.
(The "golden" haze was apparently my eyes not functioning properly through the drop in blood pressure etc.)
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
The dead are dead. Nothing that happens at a funeral makes any difference to them.... The funeral is most definitely not about the dead.
A requiem mass helps their progress through Purgatory.
I've often wondered about this. Images of St Peter speaking through the bars "Hey! Good news! Another three masses mentioned you so you've got another millenium off!"
Or how does it work?
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
A requiem mass helps their progress through Purgatory.
If purgatory exists, I refuse to believe in a deity who has a "fast checkout" for those fortunate enough to have a bunch of friends who can get together and say the right words together - rather than, for example, the wretched isolated Christian martyr murdered in Syria. Or the multitude of Christians who do not believe in purgatory. Or praying for the dead.
That's such a convoluted idea that I'm calling it utter bullshit.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
My son is a death care professional so death is not seen as a taboo subject and has been discussed openly, he knows my wishes and is happy to honour them and vice versa.
My six year old grandson informed me that when he dies he wants to be cremated, when I asked why he said it was so that he couldn't become a zombie.
My Mother does not like talking about death but she has pre-booked and paid for her funeral and as the executor of her will she has let me know all details.
I have had a will since my early twenties as I was a divorced parent and needed to ensure appropriate arrangements in the event of my death, it has been updated a few times in line with changes of circumstance, it will need to be updated again this year .
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
If purgatory exists, I refuse to believe in a deity who has a "fast checkout" for those fortunate enough to have a bunch of friends who can get together and say the right words together - rather than, for example, the wretched isolated Christian martyr murdered in Syria.
I may be wrong about this, but my understanding is that in the theology of those Churches that believe in Purgatory martyrs go straight to Heaven.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
On the subject of the OP, I don't really think or worry too much about my own death. I do, however, think and worry about how (or, indeed, if) I will be remembered. I don't fear death itself, but I do fear dying without having done anything of significance in this life.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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betjemaniac
Shipmate
# 17618
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Posted
I think clearly if you want a Star Trek funeral and then NASA to blast your ashes into space then that might be imposing just a bit too much on the surviving friends and relations.
However, little things like burial or cremation, some hymns, etc are something that people really should express an opinion about while they still can (IF it matters to them. Obviously the secular may have views about readings, songs, poetry, etc).
I've become really quite militant about this since my mum died unexpectedly (62) 18 months or so ago with no preferences stated other than "cremation."
Trying to help my father in the 2 weeks post death pull together a funeral that would work when all either of us wanted was to grieve is *not* an experience I would be wanting to repeat, and not something I would wish even on those I don't particularly like.
It's fine to not care either way, but then say *that.* If you do have some specific wishes, for God's sake say *those.*
Don't leave grieving people flapping around worrying about what to do for the best. Even if you take the view that the funeral is for those left behind rather than the deceased (which I don't share FWIW), I struggle to see what those left behind get out of numbly trying to make decisions with no clue what their loved one might have wanted regarding any of it. Make life in those ten days or so easier for them (as if it isn't hell enough anyway); have an opinion.
Just don't ask for something ludicrous and leave them beholden.
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And is it true? For if it is....
Posts: 1481 | From: behind the dreaming spires | Registered: Mar 2013
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Kitten: quote:
My six year old grandson informed me that when he dies he wants to be cremated, when I asked why he said it was so that he couldn't become a zombie.
Your grandson has the right idea - I wouldn't want to be a zombie either. Greece or Russia (or anywhere else with large numbers of Orthodoxen) would be a bad place to be in a Zombie Apocalypse.
I thought this thread was going to be about those times when you wake up at 4am in a panic, wondering what *really* happens to your mind/soul/consciousness after death...
I have no objection to a Star Trek-style funeral myself, provided that someone takes Mr Scott's bagpipes away from him for the duration of the ceremony.
[ 04. January 2016, 13:18: Message edited by: Jane R ]
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Galilit
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# 16470
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Posted
Now I see this thread has gone in a less existential direction I would like to add another tuppence worth.
I look after a very good friend's grave. I keep it tidy, light a candle etc every 10 days or fortnight. The grave-site at her feet was free and I signed up for it (on it? to it?) last week.
Her daughters and the several friends I have told have all said "How lovely" or "That's friendship". We all have widely differing beliefs so it's nothing to do with that. But it has just "tickled" so many people. And I think of people who knew both of us seeing the adjacent graves will be "tickled" too. Not as obvious as same-name husband and wife but people who know will notice.
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She who does Her Son's will in all things can rely on me to do Hers.
Posts: 624 | From: a Galilee far, far away | Registered: Jun 2011
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
Kitten: quote:
My six year old grandson informed me that when he dies he wants to be cremated, when I asked why he said it was so that he couldn't become a zombie.
Your grandson has the right idea - I wouldn't want to be a zombie either. Greece or Russia (or anywhere else with large numbers of Orthodoxen) would be a bad place to be in a Zombie Apocalypse.
I thought this thread was going to be about those times when you wake up at 4am in a panic, wondering what *really* happens to your mind/soul/consciousness after death...
I have no objection to a Star Trek-style funeral myself, provided that someone takes Mr Scott's bagpipes away from him for the duration of the ceremony.
He was also worried that I would be a zombie if I was buried so I promised that I would make sure Daddy tied my shoelaces together first
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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BroJames
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# 9636
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Posted
In an age and culture where death was much more 'in your face' it was still a common practice for people to have some kind of memento more (reminder of death). We can easily think it won't happen to us. A consciousness of the reality of death that leads to a life well lived rather than dissipated is probably a good thing. A useful kind of mindfulness which enhances the value of the present moment.
Posts: 3374 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005
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Gamaliel
Shipmate
# 812
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Posted
One of my daughters is still a teenager, so for the next year or so we'll be perfectly fine if there's a Zombie Apocalypse ...
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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.
http://philthebard.blogspot.com
Posts: 15997 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
A requiem mass helps their progress through Purgatory.
If purgatory exists, I refuse to believe in a deity who has a "fast checkout" for those fortunate enough to have a bunch of friends who can get together and say the right words together - rather than, for example, the wretched isolated Christian martyr murdered in Syria. Or the multitude of Christians who do not believe in purgatory. Or praying for the dead.
That's such a convoluted idea that I'm calling it utter bullshit.
In which case, you don'ty believe in the power of prayer.
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My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Forthview
Shipmate
# 12376
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Posted
In thinking about my own death, I have made it clear that I wish to have a Catholic funeral.
I don't mind if my surviving relatives decide to have my body cremated or buried.
Anyone who does not wish to attend the funeral is welcome to stay at home. I won't be in any position to mind.
Posts: 3444 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2007
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
.... I do, however, think and worry about how (or, indeed, if) I will be remembered. I don't fear death itself, but I do fear dying without having done anything of significance in this life.
That thought sometimes occurs to me as well, usually when I'm making or fixing a memorial that has various obe's, titles or some other credit. Just a bit of a case of comparing ourselves to others I think.
Something that brings those thoughts into context is the experience of a friend, sadly no longer alive himself. He was a gravedigger for many years and wasn't then particularly religious. He did however become friendly with a vicar who officiated at the funeral of a vagrant. With them being the only two in attendance at the graveside, he said to me later that something moved in him and became the beginning of a conversion to prayer in Christ.
The point I'm trying to make is that a person's death can sometimes touch us in a strange way, even if it was an individual whose life was apparently of little consequence in the greater scheme of things.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
In which case, you don'ty believe in the power of prayer.
A multitude of Christians believe in the "power of prayer" without also believing in the need to pray for the souls of the departed.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Raptor Eye:
I think it's important to live each day in full consciousness that it might be our last. That is not to suggest that we eat, drink and be merry while we can, but rather to suggest that we still have the opportunity to serve God until our very last breath, to make a positive difference to the world for the sake of all. If we can do nothing else, we can continue to pray for other people.
Ref the op, a morbid fascination would imply that there is more to think through concerning death, perhaps as to whether or not there is an afterlife, and/or whether death is something to be afraid of.
I think your first paragraph is very good. However, it may prove too much of a challenge for some who find themselves - not so much thinking or longing for death - but undergoing practical traumatic life changes where the prospect of continuing to live is bleak and apparently without hope. A severe illness eg, where job and income prospects disappear, or where every day is painful, and there is no prognosis of anything different, ever.
As Walt Whitman wrote, if we consider ourselve lucky in our birth, why not in our death?
Re the second para, I think I'm with those who say that living with chronic suffering can potentially reconcile you to the event of death itself, as something not to be afraid of.
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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