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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Don't forget various bodily functions that are apt to happen at the very worst times.

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Originally posted by The5thMary:
Apparently, when I was four or five years old, I would try to direct the church in singing. The priests, nuns, and various laypersons had to smother their laughter as I took it upon myself to wave my arms around and "direct". I was a weird child. I asked for a church program and went home and held Mass for my stuffed animals. I also took my marbles (yeah, I hadn't lost them yet!) and rolled them into the spaces between the black keys on the piano, pretending they were going to church.

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I don't think you were that weird. I'm assuming you're a woman and a Catholic, from your name and mention of Mass? If you'd been a chap, you might very well have been in early training to become a priest or maybe musical director or something

But, talking of Catholic Masses, when I was a child they were all in Latin and an hour and a half long, so apart from the sermon and notices which were in English, I didn't really understand much. So I would pass the time by imagining fairies jumping from hat to hat that the women were wearing (in those days they still had to wear hats)and climbing up and down the pillars of the church. Maybe across the altar too. Hm, and rather than thinking of guardian angels protecting me at night, I used to imagine fairies flying round the bedroom, warding off any nasty things. Not that I thought fairies actually existed, it was just my way of feeling safer (and this, having dutifully repeated some sort of prayer about my guardian angel taking care of me).

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Originally posted by mousethief:

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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Don't forget various bodily functions that are apt to happen at the very worst times.

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True story. There was an emperor of the other Roman Empire (the one everybody forgets) who pooped in his baptismal font, and went by the moniker "Copronymous" ("shit name")* all his life.


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*he shat at his naming ceremony -- those crazy Greeks

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Originally posted by mousethief:
Depends on whom you ask. Iconoclasts and friends of the emperor swear it's not true. But the name has stuck.

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Urban myth perhaps?

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Originally posted by cornflower:

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Originally posted by mousethief:
Depends on whom you ask. Iconoclasts and friends of the emperor swear it's not true. But the name has stuck.

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Urban myth perhaps?

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