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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: When church is an introvert's hell
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Am I the only extrovert on the Ship?
![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
No!! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I don't think ignoring newcomers is an introvert thing (or an extrovert thing, either). I'm about as introverted as they come by nature, but I'm also the one who takes it upon herself to look for "i'm standing by myself looking lost" people and offer them doughnuts or coffee. (And then go away, if it becomes clear they'd rather not talk.)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
My understanding (and I hope Sipech will correct me if I'm wrong) is that to some people (not necessarily just those who, technically, would be termed "introverted"), being expected to share something as intimate as a prayer (or one's opinion of the sermon) with strangers feels like being made to go against one's nature.
To an extent, I agree. What triggered the OP was much more about the 'do it right now' element, as though being able to enter into a personal conversation and then prayer can be turned on like a tap. It's a hill that has to be climbed. A bit strenuous, and can leave one in need of a rest, but rewarding. I just think some people who can do it at the drop of a hand can be thoughtless when it comes to dealing with those who need to build up to it.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
I suspect it goes against many extroverts. Extroverts are quite happy talking about light things with strangers. Introverts are quite happy sharing inner thoughts and feelings with friends.
There are very few people who want to open their intimate world to strangers, it is just what we avoid that is different.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
What triggered the OP was much more about the 'do it right now' element, as though being able to enter into a personal conversation and then prayer can be turned on like a tap. It's a hill that has to be climbed. A bit strenuous, and can leave one in need of a rest, but rewarding. I just think some people who can do it at the drop of a hand can be thoughtless when it comes to dealing with those who need to build up to it.
This reminds me of the difference between those who make instant decisions and those who need to ponder a bit. Some people believe you raise a new idea and vote on it right away, you either instantly agree or disagree. Others need to "sleep on it" before they can tell if there are potential problems to consider.
The quick reactors get annoyed at the slow thinkers delaying progress, but the "sleep on it" folks feel those pressuring for instant decisions are shooting from the hip and causing problems.
People function in different ways. Some are comfortable flipping in and out of prayer, for others it's a process.
Maybe maturity is knowing what works for you, quietly refusing to do things the way that doesn't work for you, and as much as possible choose the kinds of work and play and worship that fit well with your personality.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Thyme
Shipmate
# 12360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
Maybe maturity is knowing what works for you, quietly refusing to do things the way that doesn't work for you, and as much as possible choose the kinds of work and play and worship that fit well with your personality.
The quietly refusing doesn't always work! I have lost count of the number of times I/the group have been told we 'need to get out of our comfort zones' 'step out of the boat' or somesuch. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) No thank you. It is not for you to decide, who does not know me, whether my boundaries are in the correct place. It is just a piece of spiritual sounding manipulative psychobabble ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
[coding - WW]
[ 19. March 2016, 01:29: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
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The Church in its own bubble has become, at best the guardian of the value system of the nation’s grandparents, and at worst a den of religious anoraks defined by defensiveness, esoteric logic and discrimination. Bishop of Buckingham's blog
Posts: 600 | From: Cloud Cuckoo Land | Registered: Feb 2007
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie jon:
There are very few people who want to open their intimate world to strangers, it is just what we avoid that is different.
Jengie
And yet it is surprising how many people will do that online, including - maybe especially - introverts. An important consideration if you believe that it is possible to have church on the internet.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chamois:
Easter is coming. When our vicar re-arranges the church chairs into a circle. So we are forced to sit and look at each other during the service. ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
Best argument for pews I've ever heard of....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
... And yet it is surprising how many people will [open up to strangers] online ...
I suppose (certainly as far as the Ship is concerned) it may be the anonymity. The people you're addressing can't see you blush or hear you stammer, and you have plenty of time to plan out exactly what you're going to say and how you're going to say it.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
... And yet it is surprising how many people will [open up to strangers] online ...
I suppose (certainly as far as the Ship is concerned) it may be the anonymity. The people you're addressing can't see you blush or hear you stammer, and you have plenty of time to plan out exactly what you're going to say and how you're going to say it.
...and when (not if, when) I say something stupid I can slink away from the Ship or the thread for awhile and pretend it didn't happen until everyone (I imagine/hope) forgets about it...
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
... And yet it is surprising how many people will [open up to strangers] online ...
I suppose (certainly as far as the Ship is concerned) it may be the anonymity. The people you're addressing can't see you blush or hear you stammer, and you have plenty of time to plan out exactly what you're going to say and how you're going to say it.
...and when (not if, when) I say something stupid I can slink away from the Ship or the thread for awhile and pretend it didn't happen until everyone (I imagine/hope) forgets about it...
I just rely on the charity (or bad memories) of other Shipmates ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
I was thinking about this thread on Friday night when I was attending a noisy farewell to our Minister. I usually avoid such situations, but I knew I could step out for a while if I was overwhelmed and that would possibly be noticed, but not commented on and that made it easier to be there - besides which I love the people which makes it easier.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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