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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Fuck you black dog
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Robin was bipolar.
Some of the meds used to manage bipolar are reported to have an effect on creative endeavours. So some bipolar creatives will self medicate or self manage their prescriptions. In other words, stop using the prescription when trying to be creative.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Celtic Knotweed
Shipmate
# 13008
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Posted
We spent yesterday evening talking to a good friend whose depression has just come up and hit him again. He's coping, said (paraphrased) that it wasn't as bad as some episodes he's had, and the drugs are helping.
It's just that all we can do is be there and listen; invite him over to go have a drink and chat in one of the local pubs; go over to his and watch TV; stay in touch and hope he knows we care. Always feels like there ought to be something else...
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My little sister is riding 100k round London at night to raise money for cancer research donations here if you feel so inclined.
Posts: 664 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Sep 2007
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Robin was bipolar.
Some of the meds used to manage bipolar are reported to have an effect on creative endeavours. So some bipolar creatives will self medicate or self manage their prescriptions. In other words, stop using the prescription when trying to be creative.
Yes, when I was diagnosed I had a long chat with the psychiatrist about this as he felt that I would be happier self-managing it (I am lucky enough to have insight into my psychosis and don't do anything too extreme). With the exception of being on lithium when my father was dying I manage by strictly controlling my social interactions and a variety of learnt behaviours and lifestyle changes. Being manic is part of my life and I would miss it so instead I control it as much as I can (though I would take lithium again if I needed to).
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
There is a video that I've considered sharing. But in the interest of the Ship in not giving medical advice, and saving Hosts listening to all 15 minutes, I will say go to Youtube and search Jason Ricci Bipolar disorder.* He speaks of creativity, bipolar disorder and the meds issue. And, prophetically, references Robin.
*Jason is a Blues Harmonica player. In this vid, the sound is not great and his playing is nervous, but look up his performance vids, he is quite impressive.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Celtic Knotweed:
It's just that all we can do is be there and listen; invite him over to go have a drink and chat in one of the local pubs; go over to his and watch TV; stay in touch and hope he knows we care. Always feels like there ought to be something else...
It's the last sentence, the something else I know I couldn't do any more than you are doing - hell- I couldn't do that much, but it's something I feel around other people when they are depressed (and I live with depression myself). Doing what you are sounds like a lifeline to me.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
To echo Huia
Almost half my lifetime ago, I was suicidal. What stopped me was a friend who gave me a lift home every evening that week. He probably thought he was doing "nothing" at the time except what a friend should. He was, however, saving a life.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Thanks, folks, it helps to know that we are doing something useful. We saw him again today - in fact, he came to ours to get a lift to cricket. He's still struggling - his meds have changed again (largely, I think, because the lithium really helps, but sooner or later screws hideously with his stomach), but is in so much a better place than last weekend it's not true. Cricket really helps (and he gave an interview to a cricket mag this year to that effect), and he took four wickets today to pretty much nail down his claim to top wicket taker for the team this year.
I worked with him for eighteen months or so when I was having a particularly shit time* and I think it was actually a help to both of us having someone we could talk to who had an insight. I certainly hope it helped him as much as it did me!
AG
*I've paddled in the black waters, that's bad enough thank you, he's been up to his eyeballs more times than I care to think.
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
A shreddie on the Tube floor had me fighting back tears today.
pathetic bint.
A fucking shreddy.
Now it's making me giggle at myself, which is better.
It seemed all pointless and ugly and lonely and having failed to do anything useful with its existence, and it's just going to wind up in the bin having not achieved anything.
fuck-it-all -
my brain is identifying me with discarded breakfast cereal remnants.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
Fucking birthday yesterday didn't help.
Nearly everyone I know is bobbing around on the oggin, so at the moment, and for the forseeable, I go to work, I come home, repeat. Lonely.
Fuck's sake. "I wandered lonely as a shreddie..." how's that going to pan out?
Fucking useless.
Stupid shreddie.
Stupid me.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Amorya
Ship's tame galoot
# 2652
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
It seemed all pointless and ugly and lonely and having failed to do anything useful with its existence, and it's just going to wind up in the bin having not achieved anything.
fuck-it-all -
my brain is identifying me with discarded breakfast cereal remnants.
Have you seen this post from Hyperbole and a Half?
quote:
At some point during this phase, I was crying on the kitchen floor for no reason. As was common practice during bouts of floor-crying, I was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular and feeling sort of weird about myself. Then, through the film of tears and nothingness, I spotted a tiny, shriveled piece of corn under the refrigerator.
I don't claim to know why this happened, but when I saw the piece of corn, something snapped. And then that thing twisted through a few permutations of logic that I don't understand, and produced the most confusing bout of uncontrollable, debilitating laughter that I have ever experienced.
Reminded me of that ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Amy
Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
You ain't big enough to be a dog - possibly a gerbil - but nonetheless would you kindly fuck right off, thank you. Right now I don't need distracting, my energy sapped, etc...
I can sympathise with the hysterical laughter bit. Many moons ago I nutted a locker in a stairwell at work - all the lights flickered, and I nearly widdled myself at the melodrama of it all. Turned out the light switch was behind the locker.
Erroneous Monk - you have seen that the new album is out October 20th?
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
Yeah, leaky eye day today.
My temporary filling fell out last night and in my distraction around sticking the banjo back in with denture glue, I forgot to take my meds. This usually leads to weird dreams. Last night it was horrible nightmares. I think this is a combination of the Scottish referendum, missing family and watching too much of The Walking Dead on catch-up.
Anyhoo, tonight I'm going to remember the meds and watch the Great British Bake Off.
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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AmyBo
Shipmate
# 15040
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Posted
Aaaand fuck the coworkers with some sort of depression-sonar that tells them when I'm on edge so they can come on over and try to push me right off. Fortunately one was so obviously asshole behavior that I could push back, but these people just need to crawl back under their rocks.
Posts: 122 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
God help me trying to post something vaguely serious during H&A but there.
* realised - it's not a mammal at all, it's a Death Watch beetle - just sits there silently until you think it's gone, then *tap tap tap tap*, silence again... until you think it's gone, and *tap tap tap tap*, so you end up listening for it instead of getting on with ignoring it.
Pesticide time...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Dammit! I thought I was dealing better than this. Fucking chemicals in my brain, PTSD, childhood issues or what ever the fuck you are fuck off and die ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif) .
Being vulnerable sucks fetid mongoose balls.
And that deathwatch beetle can do the same.
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Amen to that.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
FUCK ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif) FUCK FUCK FUCK.
and fuck again.
Dear fucking brain,
Fuck you.
Fucking sincerely,
Fucked.
(and this morning my typing ran ahead of my brain and I've admitted to someone at work that I'm just about holding it together and hoping I'm hiding it well enough - in a fucking FB message about something else. He's a good guy, hopefully he'll not think I'm a fucking lunatic. Fuck.)
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Ad Orientem
Shipmate
# 17574
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Posted
Feeling shit myself recently. My self-esteem problems have come back with avengance, something that's plagued me for most of my adult life. Feel like lying in bed and doing nothing but can't. Got to put on the pretence of being mildly ok so I can go to work etc.
Posts: 2606 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2013
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ad Orientem:
Got to put on the pretence of being mildly ok so I can go to work etc.
You're not alone. You're never alone. *Grits teeth*
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Every time I think I am climbing over it, some asshole come along and points out the " you must be this cool to be happy / belong / be part of things" sign. Fucking sick of it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
some asshole come along and points out the " you must be this cool to be happy / belong / be part of things" sign.
Tell em they're talking bollocks Kelly. Just be who you are.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
It's hard when the person is in a position to actually, physically make sure you are not a part of things. All the self-esteem in the world doesn't help when someone ( metphorically) removes your placecard from the table, tears it up, and seats you by the kitchen door.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
I don't in any way mean to minimise what you are going through, but I think that self-esteem can help in that context, in that it may enable you to say, 'These people really aren't worthy of my friendship', and believe it, rather than accepting their narrative that it's you who aren't worthy of theirs.
(can you tell I have been going to therapy?...)
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
It's hard when the person is in a position to actually, physically make sure you are not a part of things.
Better not go 'All Sainty' down here, (the AS support thread is a difficult read), but if you are talking about an actual person there then it's sounding like oppression of a sort.
Black dog is a peculiar animal. If he is following me ? Well I've found he makes a better friend than enemy, (barring it causing a total collapse which so far it hasn't). If ,however, someone's putting pressure to *get that Mutt gone* I'd question their motives for doing so.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I was bitching about the corresponding occasion of a bout if depression finally easing up, only to have some thoughtless act slap me back down. It was just shit timing. It's like the universe was irritated that I was considering hope. Scrolling up.
But as I said elsewhere, I was expressing a negative thought on a thread about people wrestling with negative thoughts. Is depression less problematic if something specific triggered it?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh, a negative thought exactly like this one:
quote:
Originally posted by AmyBo:
Aaaand fuck the coworkers with some sort of depression-sonar that tells them when I'm on edge so they can come on over and try to push me right off. Fortunately one was so obviously asshole behavior that I could push back, but these people just need to crawl back under their rocks.
... Which I see was accepted without comment.
[ 06. December 2014, 21:07: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Is depression less problematic if something specific triggered it?
I suppose we tend to measure life from our own experience. What I'm talking about could be a joyless moroseness as opposed to the, clearly more serious, condition set out by Patdys in OP.
I do find the coping mechanism aided if somewhere in my mind lies a specific explanation, no matter how distant, for a bout of joylessness. Or even a deeper, more general explanation for the person I am, (or have become).
As for AmyBo's point about co-workers being a pain-in-the-arse? Well yeah, the joys of the workplace, although that does sound a little sinister.
The is in life a subtle --you ain't allowed to be miserable- pressure. A God-given thing maybe? I believe we're all equipped with a mechanism that automatically leads us to try and cheer-up others who look miserable.
OtoH some of us can't bear to be near ridiculously OTT cheerful individuals.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
At which point I am going to step back and leave the very articulate users of this thread to repeat the various things they have said about what they think of cheerful- on- demand
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
But I understand you were trying to be helpful. My point, though, in quoting AmyBo's post is that nobody required her to provide an apologia for not liking how people seemed to hone in on her weak moments-- so why should I have to? .
And I just answered my own question- I don't have to, so I won't. Let thise who gwt it, get it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
AndI'm not gonna fix that typo either, goddamn it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
I think Rolyn's point about cheering other people up relates to being defensive. I mean, that people who do this, don't want to see misery in others, as it's too close to home, so they push it away. If you are more comfortable with your own misery, you will do it less, and you can let people be. But work can be hell in this regard, as the 'false self' syndrome is particularly prevalent.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Ah, ok that makes sense.
A trip to That Other Thread will allow you to see my grumbles about other people trying to lecture me out of my feelings, so perhaps I was uneccesarily testy.
[ 07. December 2014, 15:02: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
Wherever I worked, there always seemed to be some very brittle person, who just screamed 'false self', who couldn't bear anyone being at all down. It just seemed obvious that they were hiding a ton of gloom, but had to maintain this front, and therefore could not tolerate others being authentic. Outside work, I would have a go at them, but in most jobs, you just can't. So they just carry on, wrecking other people, in total denial. Some of them are even Christians.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Huh.
For my part, everytime someone has randomly unloaded on me, then labeled my reaction as oversensitive, there has usually been a followup conversation about how their dog is striken with canker sores or something, and they are agonizing about it, and therefore I need to be compassionate and spare them the natural consequences of their behavior, because they are having feely feelings that natually deserve way more repect than anyone else's. False self can manifest itself a lot of ways.
[ 07. December 2014, 15:40: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
"Comfortable with your own misery "
Perhaps I am misunderstanding what that is supposed to mean, but on the face of it, I disagree. Comfort/familiarity can be a reason for not attempting to change whatever part of our circumstance that we might, not looking for the path forward.
I am not suggesting it is that easy, but no effort means no progress, no change.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Is depression less problematic if something specific triggered it?
In my experience (and comparing my depression with MrP's), yes. One of the problems this time around is that it took me a couple of months to work out what the root cause was. Having my arsehole of a boss demanding that I tell him that the cause was not work-related when I had no idea what it was did not help. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
"Comfortable with your own misery "
Perhaps I am misunderstanding what that is supposed to mean, but on the face of it, I disagree. Comfort/familiarity can be a reason for not attempting to change whatever part of our circumstance that we might, not looking for the path forward.
I am not suggesting it is that easy, but no effort means no progress, no change.
I think he meant in the sense of "comfortable admitting you experience misery, rather than suffering it and pretending you don't have it."
You'll agree that admitting you are miserable is the first step in changing that, right?
Joanna, I see your point about practical issues, but what I was asking was, "Is my reemergence of chronic depression a less serious form of depression than others because I can articulate what triggered it?"
[ 07. December 2014, 17:14: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
You'll agree that admitting you are miserable is the first step in changing that, right?
I do agree with this.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That's it, then. People who are taught that depression is shameful are going to be doubly fucked when they suffer depression. And I think Quetzalcoatl was saying, these are the folk who tend to get panicky/ hostile when they see other people are depressed.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
That's it, then. People who are taught that depression is shameful are going to be doubly fucked when they suffer depression. And I think Quetzalcoatl was saying, these are the folk who tend to get panicky/ hostile when they see other people are depressed.
I completely read that incorrectly, then. My apologies to you both.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Is depression less problematic if something specific triggered it?
[grim inappropriate humour]
One of the few advantages of reactive depression is that when some arsewipe says "Cheer up, it might never happen!" you can tell them, in vivid and forensic detail, what just did happen.
[/grim inappropriate humour]
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Joanna, I see your point about practical issues, but what I was asking was, "Is my reemergence of chronic depression a less serious form of depression than others because I can articulate what triggered it?"
Kelly,
Apologies for not being clear but I was intending to be more general. I can generally articulate what caused a particular bout of depression and mine is less severe than MrP's, for whom it just seems to be a reaction to his childhood. But then, mine is very clearly reactive and his is clinical (if that is the correct term). However I am not sure if any of that is relevant to your experience.
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
OK. Maybe I wasn't clear enough that this isn't an isolated incident. This is perhaps the second time I showed up on this thread, so maybe I should have started there.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
I think part of the problem is that the term depression is colloqueally used to cover a number of conditions, and whilst each individual's experience is going to be unique, broadly speaking those conditions have different long term likely patterns and will respond better to different kinds of approaches. People offer advice from their own experience and sometimes that will grate for another person because their experience arises from a different kind of problem in the first place.
FWIW I think the most important thing for almost everyone, is to be compassionate towards themselves.
[crosspost]
[ 07. December 2014, 18:25: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Agreed, and IME people who are compassionate with themselves re slightly better at being compassionate to others. Back to Q's point.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Paul.
Shipmate
# 37
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Posted
On somewhat the same theme I do wish people wouldn't use "How are you?" as the equivalent of "Hello". The pedantic is strong in me and I feel dishonest in mumbling some weak half-truth platitude ("surviving", "up and down"). And most of the time I don't really want to talk about my feelings, and don't, but I'm forced to think about it because of this social convention.
But it's more than that. It's the fact that I feel trapped in the polite persona I inhabit because as far as I can tell normal social interaction relies on the fiction that we're all basically OK. And if you step outside that all that happens is that you embarrass people and whilst they might be sympathetic, you're no nearer to honest communication because you've just created a different kind of barrier.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Posts: 3689 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
me too. I have this embarrassing habit of answering the question as asked, rather than as meant, and I usually realize a couple beats too late that they really didn't want to hear about [fill in the blank]. By which point it's too late to redirect without major awkwardness.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
A more senior person at work felt the need to lecture me recently about how, in our culture, "how are you?" is not supposed to be answered.
We're in a fucking drafting office. Half of our work is devoted to not creating ambiguities. Don't ask a question you don't want answered.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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