Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Passive-Aggressive Notes
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
Yesterday a large box was balanced on its skinny end near our staircase. My 2 year old was playing near it, and probably did something dumb. (2 year old) The box fell and flattened him. After dragging him out--the box was too heavy for me to lift then--I thought of the notes I wanted to leave on that box. Unfortunately I don't want to ruin relations with my neighbors.
What notes are you not writing?
Dear Neighbor,
If your six foot tall box was so heavy you've had to leave it in the lobby for days, maybe it's too heavy to balance where it might crush people?
Love and kisses, Me
Dear Neighbor,
I think I've gotten all the blood off my two year old, but he's still shaking with fear at random times twenty-four hours later. Do you think you could move your damn box yet?
Thanks, Me
-------------------- A master of men was the Goodly Fere, A mate of the wind and sea. If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Dear neighbor, So kind of you to use your Roundup weedkiller on our beautiful catnip bushes. We now have extra space to plant 50 foot Vietnamese squash plants! Love and kisses, me
PS sorry about your house. You'll find it again after the first frost, don't worry.
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Dear Neighbour,
I agree, the 2 or 3 local dogs that bark messages to each other in the middle of the night can be pretty damn annoying. And I bet living directly next to one of them is even worse.
However, I'm not entirely sure that screaming "Shut That F***ing Dog Up" at the top of your lungs over and over at 2:45am is a viable long-term solution.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kittyville
Shipmate
# 16106
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Posted
Dear Neighbour,
I know living next door to a house undergoing a major renovation expected to take the best part of a year wouldn't be a lot of fun, so I don't blame you at all for upping sticks for the duration of the works. But perhaps you could take your dog with you, instead of leaving it in the house with the back door open, so it can get in and out. Especially as you only seem to be popping in once a week to feed it.
Best wishes,
Me [ 18. May 2015, 06:55: Message edited by: Kittyville ]
Posts: 291 | From: Sydney | Registered: Dec 2010
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Dearest Neighbour,
I am so sorry to hear that your lovely wind chimes keep getting cut down and thrown in your pond. I can't imagine who would do such a thing when they can enjoy the clanging sound of them all day, every day.
I do hope you find the culprit soon.
Yours,
Music lover.
-------------------- Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Dear Neighbours -
I infer that in your world plants are an abomination unto the Lord, and righteousness is displayed by the sterility of the concrete surfaces on which you park your luxury vehicles in front of your properties.
Might those of us who enjoy the baser things of life - such as, er, life - be permitted to enjoy the canopy provided by our street trees for a little longer, before they are removed at your insistence to prevent soiling of your paintwork?
Yours,
Tree-Hugger
-------------------- "We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard (so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Dear upstairs neighbours
I think you have struck upon a wonderful idea. Hammering the skirting boards after 10pm and getting the vacuum cleaner out after 11pm is the the best way to instigate community discussions. Please do come down for a drink with me as soon as you've finished.
I guarantee I'll still be awake.
Regards,
The occupant of the ground floor flat
-------------------- I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it. Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Dear Flat 2
I'm so pleased your renovation has been completed; I shall miss the friendly workmen - the sound of their radio during the day stopped me from feeling lonely while I was trying to mark Harmony & Composition papers - and I'll have to go back to using an alarm clock now for those days when I need to be up and about before 7.30am.
It seems only yesterday that little Chardonnay was learning to walk and now here she is, eight years old, and bidding fair to become a champion tap-dancer! You must be do proud of her - and I hope she appreciates your selflessness in installing tiled floors throughout the flat so she could practice whenever she liked without leaving home.
Anyway, must dash: a friend has unexpectedly asked if I'd consider moving to be closer to them and in a fit of madness (!) I agreed so I need to put my flat on the market.
Byee!
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sipech: Dear upstairs neighbours
I think you have struck upon a wonderful idea. Hammering the skirting boards after 10pm and getting the vacuum cleaner out after 11pm is the the best way to instigate community discussions. Please do come down for a drink with me as soon as you've finished.
I guarantee I'll still be awake.
Regards,
The occupant of the ground floor flat
[Being serious for a moment: I did have some friends who lived in a Glasgow tenement flat. Next door was an elderly Minister who suffered from dementia. He frequently pulled out his bagpipes at 3 o'clock in the morning ...]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Dear Friends next door,
We love looking at the fine motor vehicle which now adorns our street. A bright red vintage fire engine certainly does add some much-needed visual interest to this somewhat mundane urban environment. The turntable ladder should certainly prove useful to you when you wish to clean your upstairs windows, too!
We naturally appreciate the difficulties that you must encounter in trying to find a suitable parking space for such a lengthy vehicle near to your home; indeed, we have often experienced similar difficulties ourselves with our own Smart Car.
I trust, however that you'll agree that it is not unreasonable for us to move your "magnificent monster" (if I may so call it) for those brief and, indeed, relatively infrequent moments when we wish to drive into, or out of, the garage which we are so fortunate to possess.
Perhaps we could meet for coffee and discuss times when you will find this to be practicable.
Best wishes, Disgruntled Motorist.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
Most Esteemed Housemate,
Yes, indeed, I did agree to live with dogs when I signed on to move in here. However, I was then laboring under the misapprehension that, like most dog owners, you'd have seen fit to housetrain the little buggers.
Imagine my surprise to discover that, instead, your cute little terriers pee and poop everywhere, turning the entire premises into an indoor dog toilet, while letting your small children use this same space as play area.
Now that you're planning to breed the bitch again for a litter of puppies to sell because you need the money, won't you surprised to discover that some person or persons unknown has drowned them all in that disgusting mudpit you call a duckpond rather than put up with the stench and mess they will create.
And I will be deducting $45 from my rent to cover the cost of the dog gate I've installed at the door of my suite.
Warmest regards,
Housemate
-------------------- Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that. Moon: Including what? Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie. Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
Dear Facebook Friend,
I apologies for cluttering up your social media feed with my opinions every so often. Particuarly as they are ones you don't share. I will, of course, stop doing that immediately.
Please continue to share endless pictures of cute kittens, game requests and memes from Britian First with me. I love them.
Alternatively, you could try familarising yourself with the helpful funcationality that social media provides to hide things you'd rather than not see. I have ...
Tubbs
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Dear neighbour,
Please stop banging on our shared wall at all hours of the night. It's playing havoc with my guitar practice.
Yours,
Marvin.
-------------------- Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Dear work colleague
Thank you so much for allowing me to share in your delicious lunch each day, by eating it at your desk, and spreading the delicious aroma across the office.
Every day.
Yours etc...
-------------------- Blog Music for your enjoyment Lord may all my hard times be healing times take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Marvin
Dear Neighbor,
How I love getting irate calls from you first thing in the morning. It does my heart good to know you're up and at 'em so bright and early, doing a bit of yard work and all.
I understand that, being the only pet owners in the neighborhood I'm the first one suspected when things go wrong but seriously, I just feel certain somehow that my elderly, obese cat didn't go to all the trouble to cross the street to your house, enter your garage and eat your tomato plants. I am even more certain that my ten pound dachshund, who is still sleeping under the covers, and never leaves our fenced in back yard, is not responsible for the 6" high pile of dog poo you just ran over with your mower.
Yours in logic, Twilight
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
If your cat had eaten the tomato plants, I think you'd have known it because you would likely have had One Dead Cat.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
Dearest Neighbours,
It was so thoughtful of you to build a fire pit in the small space between your residence and ours! Otherwise, how would we have been able to enjoy the copious smoke produced by the seemingly endless supply of green wood you are able to procure?
Fortunately, our kitchen window is located just near enough to take advantage of this feature. We appreciate the reliability with which, on any nice day when we'd wish to open the window for fresh air, you choose to set things alight.
Last year, when you dismantled your deck, you burned all that pressure-treated wood in the fire pit. We breathed in the fumes. Thank you. We admire your frugality and generosity.
It is also refreshing to see the devil-may-care attitude you adopt toward local by-laws concerning fire regulations. Power to the pyro-people!
Your neighbours, The Leafs
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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Arabella Purity Winterbottom
Trumpeting hope
# 3434
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Posted
Dear neighbour, I agree that Sister Act is one of the great gospel movies of the 20th century, and the music is very catchy. We were able to enjoy it too, but it was a great pity you didn't hear the phone call we made to let you know how much we were enjoying it.
I'm so sorry to hear that the noise control officer called in at 3am.
Yours, etc.
-------------------- Hell is full of the talented and Heaven is full of the energetic. St Jane Frances de Chantal
Posts: 3702 | From: Aotearoa, New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2002
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Dear lovely strangers, It was such a pleasure to meet you when you set up space for your secular ministry at our church yesterday. (I do so apologize for not having advertised your function, I had been under the mistaken notion that you would be doing that! Oops!)
It was so very thoughtful of you to leave the outside door propped open so that church staff could enter the building unimpeded this morning. It will take no time at all to clean up the waste products left by our homeless neighbors.
Yours in Christian love, jj
-------------------- Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Dear Neighbours
It's that time of year again! I do hope you can enjoy yourself with a Eurovision party again, like last year, and I do hope that once again, you can turn your TV up so that the entire street can join in.
I enjoyed it so much, I am still humming the winning song from last year, which is not surprising as you did play it after the show, several times, all night. I think we got up to 20 times before we declined to count any more.
I am sure that this year you will also clear your bottles up at 6:00, which is very thoughtful of you, and saves there being any mess.
Yours...
-------------------- Blog Music for your enjoyment Lord may all my hard times be healing times take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
I wish someone would invite me to a Eurovision party
-------------------- All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Doublethink.: I wish someone would invite me to a Eurovision party
*tangent*
All you need is a multipack of Monster Munch, a packet of Cadbury's Heroes and a bottle of schnapps.
*/tangent*
-------------------- I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it. Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Dear Dave, I think I should just let you know that some malcontent hippy types are spreading a rumour that you're planning to flog our radio and television at cut price rates to your pals Rupert and Rebekah. I'll be delighted to let the malcontents know you've confirmed that's completely untrue. And that you're also not planning to flog off the household medicine cabinet even cheaper?
Also, perhaps you could see your way to not tearing up the household rights agreement? No doubt you're doing because you know you have no intention of torturing anyone and therefore you don't need to say that you won't, but the rest of us, silly old us, would just appreciate the reassurance.
yours...
-------------------- we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
Dear neighbors,
I know that we are in the midst of an uprising that was a long time coming and will not be over quickly.
But 164 non-fatal shootings? 96 murders? 34 in the last 30 days?
I'm not suggesting you kill anyone (quite the opposite in fact - I'm more of an MLK kind of girl than a Malcolm X kind of girl, I'd really like it if you'd lay down your arms). But if you're going to draw blood, wouldn't it make more sense to draw the blood of the tyrant oppressors?
Not that I'm concerned about you all, mind. It's just the gunshot noises followed by sirens or helicopters is making me a bit sleep deprived.
Love,
whatever it is y'all call me in this town
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Arabella Purity Winterbottom: Dear neighbour, I agree that Sister Act is one of the great gospel movies of the 20th century, and the music is very catchy. We were able to enjoy it too, but it was a great pity you didn't hear the phone call we made to let you know how much we were enjoying it.
I'm so sorry to hear that the noise control officer called in at 3am.
Yours, etc.
This is the funniest 3AM noise abuse ever. Next they'll be blasting those "Lark Rise to Candleford," DVD's.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Dear Tradesperson removing asbestos from the next door property,
It was thoughtful of you to put up the yellow tape advising what you were doing, after all asbestos is dangerous isn't it? Then of course the house got a wee bit stuffy so you opened all the doors and windows to let it air out. How thoughtful of you.
Huia
-------------------- Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Huia: Dear Tradesperson removing asbestos from the next door property,
It was thoughtful of you to put up the yellow tape advising what you were doing, after all asbestos is dangerous isn't it? Then of course the house got a wee bit stuffy so you opened all the doors and windows to let it air out. How thoughtful of you.
Huia
This would be a public health emergency call here, charges, fines and possibly jail. The building itself has to be sealed during removal.
-------------------- Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. \_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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irish_lord99
Shipmate
# 16250
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Posted
Dear Neighbors,
I would love to buy you a muffler for that piece of shit dirt bike you like to run up and down our street at full throttle around 10PM, waking our infant daughter and stealing a precious hour of what little sleep we're getting.
I'll even install the fucking thing for you, shithead.
Yours, Sleepless in Maine
-------------------- "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Mark Twain
Posts: 1169 | From: Maine, US | Registered: Feb 2011
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irish_lord99
Shipmate
# 16250
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...: quote: Originally posted by Huia: Dear Tradesperson removing asbestos from the next door property,
It was thoughtful of you to put up the yellow tape advising what you were doing, after all asbestos is dangerous isn't it? Then of course the house got a wee bit stuffy so you opened all the doors and windows to let it air out. How thoughtful of you.
Huia
This would be a public health emergency call here, charges, fines and possibly jail. The building itself has to be sealed during removal.
Yeah, I don't know what country you're in Huia, but here you could call the local building inspector and have that dealt with immediately. The 'tradesperson' would probably be fined into bankruptcy.
-------------------- "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Mark Twain
Posts: 1169 | From: Maine, US | Registered: Feb 2011
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Arabella Purity Winterbottom
Trumpeting hope
# 3434
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Twilight: quote: Originally posted by Arabella Purity Winterbottom: Dear neighbour, I agree that Sister Act is one of the great gospel movies of the 20th century, and the music is very catchy. We were able to enjoy it too, but it was a great pity you didn't hear the phone call we made to let you know how much we were enjoying it.
I'm so sorry to hear that the noise control officer called in at 3am.
Yours, etc.
This is the funniest 3AM noise abuse ever. Next they'll be blasting those "Lark Rise to Candleford," DVD's.
Extra information: the neighbour was stoned out of his skull at the time.
-------------------- Hell is full of the talented and Heaven is full of the energetic. St Jane Frances de Chantal
Posts: 3702 | From: Aotearoa, New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Dear local school board,
I appreciate it that it is a massive benefit to society and the local community that the schools all hold various events for their pupils on Saturday and Sunday, and it is fantastic that virtually every pupil will attend all of these "voluntary" events.
It is wonderful that you advertise the fact that these events will be happening for the benefit of parents who will be preparing lunch boxes and other members of the local community who should be attending. The firing of cannons and fireworks is a very effective way of communicating the fact that these events will be happening. It is really appreciated that you do this at 6am every Saturday and Sunday morning so that we all have plenty of time to prepare for them. Afterall, no one really needs to have a bit of extra sleep at the weekend.
Best regards, and looking forward to the next cannonade that will get me out of bed,
Gaijin resident of Fukushima-shi
-------------------- Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Dear Neighbours in the Apartment Below:
We're glad you enjoy Saturday Night Fever so much you threw out all your other records. If you hear a loud thumping, that's just us chopping wood in our kitchen.
Your's untruly,
Sleepless in Saskabush [ 20. May 2015, 03:44: Message edited by: no prophet's flag is set so... ]
-------------------- Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. \_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Arabella Purity Winterbottom: Extra information: the neighbour was stoned out of his skull at the time.
Even better! I want to party with this guy! We can get high, watch, "Downton Abbey," and have crumpet munchies.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Dear line manager
I'm glad to say that your lungs are working and that your skills at projecting your voice across the office are worthy of a great stage actor.
Of course I'm happy to redo the work in a completely different format to the one you reviewed and were happy with last night. It's entirely my fault that I didn't infer from your imploring me to "just get it done" exactly what level of detail you required.
Kind regards,
Dogsbody
-------------------- I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it. Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
Dear Cyclist,
Please be aware that people will cross the road at crossings having looked carefully to see what traffic is coming.
If you are cycling the wrong way down the street, they may not see you. Even in London.
They definately won't appreciate being sworn at. They will respond in kind.
May I recommend the purchase of a crash helmet and attendance at a cycling profiency course.
And, should you need help fitting that Boris bike up your arse, please let me know. Delighted to oblige.
The woman you nearly ran over,
Tubbs
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
Dear jogger.
I appreciate that your need to get fit transcends my use for the pavement, and that if I see you coming I should get out of your way.
I am sorry that I was not paying attention and did not allow the extra time it takes for me, a disabled person, to get out of your way.
If you let me know when you next want to train I shall try to clear some space for you on the city centre rush hour pavements where you choose to train as the country needs to be fitter.
Yours, The guy you ran into.
-------------------- Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Dear skateboarder getting off the bus in a hurry.
You're going to look where you're going in future aren't you? Leaping on your 'board and setting course without looking towards someone roughly twice your weight, who is in an equal hurry to get on the bus, is a bad idea. I'm truly sorry I dipped my shoulder into you leaving you sprawling on the pavement, but that was to minimise the risk of injury to me. Always used to work on the rugby field, still works now.
Consider it a learning experience.
Evil Pedestrian
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
Dear Motorists,
The new paint for the roads, which was made necessary by the environmentalists who had concerns over, well, the environment, does not stick to the pavement very well. Thankfully, the powers that be have seen fit to mark each and every cross walk with a lovely sign on a pole right by the cross walk. Perhaps, you might have a look at where these cross walks are in our lovely little area and then, when you are busy texting, listening to your radio, chatting with your partner or just daydreaming, you might give a thought to me and my dog waiting patiently for our turn to use the road. Apparently, we are to take priority but surely that only applied when you were taking your driving test.
To my neighbour who actually stopped to let us cross yesterday and had to wait for six cars to pass on my side of the road before it was clear, I do apologize for making you wait. I'm only six feet tall in a bright orange jacket making ballet arms out over the shoulder of the road so I can understand why you wanted to stop and see me there. I know you enjoy little social experiments like that.
Far be it from me to cause anyone any stress or delay to their trip by jumping out into the cross walk like the city folks do! Sorry Mom, I know you raised me to be a good Montreal girl and cross briskly.
Still alive and yours truly,
Lily
-------------------- Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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David
Complete Bastard
# 3
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Posted
Dearest People Who Live Near Me,
I can quite agree that Cacatua galerita, more commonly known as the Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo, is a magnificent indigenous avian creature. They have a friendly disposition, attractive white plumage and an endearing collection of distinctive calls.
They are also vermin that wreck our trees, crap on our driveway and scare the shit out of the budgie. Given this, and as they have proven to be excellent at foraging (especially of seedlings), there is no need for you to continue to feed the fuckers.
If you do not desist I will purchase a peregrine falcon to shit ex-cockies onto your patio.
Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001
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passer
Indigo
# 13329
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Posted
Dear Josh Duggar (and family),
please try not to divert attention from your failings by monotonous repetition of your having become closer to your iteration of God as a result of your experience. Passing responsibility for dealing with your crimes to a non-corporeal entity existing only in your head is not going to absolve you of responsibility for them.
Saying you confessed to your parents when actually you were reported to them by a victim does little to inspire confidence in anything else you say. A cynical person might think you were more interested in preserving the family TV interests and income than in expressing true remorse.
Signed,
A. CynicalPerson
****
Hostly furry hat on.
I'm not comfortable with the appellation you originally used, since the person in question's guilt has not been tested in a court of law. Self-confession is unreliable. I have edited accordingly - I'll take soundings backstage as to whether the wording can be restored.
DT HH Hostly furry hat off [ 22. May 2015, 10:51: Message edited by: Doc Tor ]
Posts: 1289 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jan 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Also, it seems that some of you don't actually understand what Passive-Aggressive means, and find it easier to just go with Aggressive.
Which is not forbidden, but dammit, this thread got off to a fantastically creative start. Passive aggression is an art.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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passer
Indigo
# 13329
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Posted
DT - to be honest mate, just delete it if you feel that strongly about it. You know you can.
Posts: 1289 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jan 2008
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
"Dear White Van Driver
Your driving prowess is most impressive; you seem to be able to drive your van at high speed right past my handlebars, apparently almost touching them but without actually making contact. You should be proud of your precision.
However, it is a little difficult for many cyclists to identify a skilful, precise master of the craft of driving, and to distinguish him from an impatient idiot who believes that shaving a few seconds of his journey matters more than anyone else's safety, resulting in unnecessary stress and fear. So if you could just hang back a few seconds until you're able to leave the sort of space recommended by the Highway Code, it could avoid any unfortunate confusion of the above kind, and any mistaken inference that you are a complete arsehole"
That any better Orfs, sweetie?
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
That's the spirit.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by passer: DT - to be honest mate, just delete it if you feel that strongly about it. You know you can.
Engage Hellhost mode
No.
First of all, we are not inclined to fall into Thomas Covenant-like traps of using power just because it is there, at the urging of the person who has created the need for power. See also Jesus' temptation in the desert.
Secondly, we are not here to absolve you of responsibility for your own words by erasing all trace of them for you. This isn't about "feeling strongly" about what you wrote. This is about there being boundaries that Shipmates are expected to stay within. It's your responsibility, when posting, to consider whether what you are saying is acceptable. And there is plenty of precedent to tell you that accusations of certain forms of criminal behaviour are a sensitive area that Shipmates have repeatedly been warned away from.
orfeo Hellhost
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719
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Posted
Dear fellow cyclists,
Isn't it lovely that the councils (two, I believe, in this instance) have had the wisdom to label this decent, wide pavement running alongside a rather busy main road into a shared use pedestrian/cycle path? Particularly as there are rarely any pedestrians along it. It certainly encourages me to swap my car use for biking to work, and whilst some of our fitter and quicker colleagues still enjoy the main road at sillily-quick speeds, I'm happy to pootle along here at 10-15 mph without risking my life and limb to the crazy motorists who seem to think the speed limits are advisable.
How nice, then, that you identify that using a cycle path reduces the opportunity of close-run situations when drivers (see Karl's post above) get to exhibit their skills at driving within knocking-off distance of my bike. How lovely that you add that bit of interest into my cycle route by cycling along the middle of this lovely wide pavement, whilst not looking where you're going, ensuring you're totally oblivious to the fact you're about to run into me or pedestrians. Your use of headphones so that a warning shout or ring of a bell go unheard are useful too. It certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi to my journey to realise that I seem to have as much - if not more - risk of being knocked from my bike from cyclists on the off road cycle route as I do on the half mile of derestricted main road I also use as part of my journey.
Thanks so much for keeping the adrenaline going, I'm sure it contributes to the improving speed of my cycle commute.
Ferijen
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Y'see, this is what I don't like about shared use paths. They encourage the sort of idiots who wouldn't last two minutes on the real road.
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Dear Council Highway Manager,
Thank you for your thoughtfulness in establishing shared use pathways alongside the road. It is a good idea to separate cyclists from both careless drivers (and I know this particular road has many of those exceeding the limits) and the pedestrians.
However, would it also be possible to ensure that the pedestrian section is wide enough for wheelchairs and baby buggies, and that it is not impeded by the attractive but overhanging front garden features of the neighbouring houses?
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351
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Posted
Thank you, fellow church member, for organising the musicians for this week's service. Your enthusiasm for and dedication to ensuring the service is run appropriately to your needs is most gratifying, especially as organising the music is an extra burden you have gallantly and spontaneously taken on at what I know is a busy time.
When I told the other folk who had kindly volunteered that they had a week off, they were also very grateful; we all look forward to the service very much. I'm sure I will have no trouble filling in the coincidental additional gaps in the near future.
It's so good to know that we can all work together so well in order to glorify the Lord.
Yours in love,
-------------------- Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)
Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
To the driver behind me this morning.
I do appreciate the fact that you managed to stick the flaking paint back on my bumper by driving so close. However, there are a couple of issues I now have. Firstly, I need a new set of clothes, and secondly the car needs a complete valet. These are caused because, as you were repainting my car this morning, I shit myself.
Yours.
-------------------- Blog Music for your enjoyment Lord may all my hard times be healing times take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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