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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Fuck Rigid Gender Role stereotyping parents and other people (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Fuck Rigid Gender Role stereotyping parents and other people
lilBuddha
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# 14333

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This story, about a bullied girl receiving a special gift, is supposed to be uplifting. It just makes me angry.
Quit enforcing the bullshit! Girls, and boys for that matter, should feel free to embrace their likes.

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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
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Not sure I understand. It looked like it was other kids mocking, not the parents?

As someone who carries a Lego Darth Vader keychain, I've never thought of Star Wars as gendered. Those kids sound a bit odd.

[ 25. August 2015, 03:43: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
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lilBuddha
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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Not sure I understand. It looked like it was other kids mocking, not the parents?

IME, children first learn at home.

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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
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Of course they learn stereotypes at home - it's the parents who buy the toys.

The boy/girl divide in toy sales is worse than it ever has been. The shelves are often even labelled for boys or girls.

[Frown] [Frown] [Frown]

My sons loved playing with dolls and prams until they went to school - then it was peer pressure which put them off.

Our twins (a boy and a girl) both play with all the toys, of course - we will see what happens when peer pressure kicks in.

Women lose out because of this conditioning - why is it stronger now than ever? (Mums do it just as much as Dads) [Mad]

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The Phantom Flan Flinger
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Is the thread title saying that gender stereotyping parents should be fucked rigid?

Just asking.

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
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Maybe I'm missing something, but I really don't see anything in that story to get worked up about. A kid was being mocked by other kids and some adults stepped in to do something about it. What's wrong with that?

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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It's not clear in the story whether the girl was being bullied at school simply because of her love of Star Wars, or whether that was just an excuse to pick on the new girl. Either way, the support offer her to affirm that it's OK for her to like whatever she wants to like was positive. Presumably her parents were supportive, if they thought it wrong for a girl to like Star Wars then presumably they a) wouldn't have bought her the stuff for school that gave the bullies something to pick on and b) wouldn't have accept help from 501st.

In the car taking the children home on Sunday I was asked about the term "Tom Boy" (the origin of which I admitted total ignorance on - I suppose I should Google it now). Which lead to a conversation about whether apparent gender differences in terms of preferences for toys, movies etc was innate or social constructs. For the record, I go strongly for social constructs, and that those constructs are variable.

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North East Quine

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A friend of mine was once stopped by a complete stranger and told off because her son was pretending to be Daddy by pushing a doll in a pushchair.

Apparently letting little boys role play being husbands and fathers turns them gay. True heterosexual men aren't interested in marrying women and having kids!

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Stejjie
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Meanwhile, I note that Franklin Graham has been wittering on... sorry, raising the i,portant and urgent matter of Target stores in the US removing gender-specific signs from their toy departments and calling for a boycott of them by Christians.

Really?

Of all the things Christians - even ConEvo or fundamentalist Christians - should be getting worked up about, this is one of the most pressing matters of our time? That God is sat on his throne in heaven, with all the suffering and injustice in our world and in people's lives before him, and is angry most of all about the removal of gender-specific signs in shops?

Sometimes, y'know, just [brick wall]

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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orfeo

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Oh, the Target business is hilarious. As someone pointed out (possibly in a Facebook meme? I forget.) the argument appears to be that gender roles are so inherent that Target should not dare to mess with them, and simultaneously so fragile that a child's gender identity could be wrecked by the mere fact that a store doesn't tell them what to play with.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Stejjie
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Oh, the Target business is hilarious. As someone pointed out (possibly in a Facebook meme? I forget.) the argument appears to be that gender roles are so inherent that Target should not dare to mess with them, and simultaneously so fragile that a child's gender identity could be wrecked by the mere fact that a store doesn't tell them what to play with.

That's to be the US Religious Right's argument with most things, ISTM: x issue is at the same time divinely ordained (and therefore cannot possibly be overturned by mere humans) and so delicate that if we try and change it, we'll ruin the whole thing.

I'm not quite sure what that says about their view of God.

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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Penny S
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Dear Franklin Graham, I would like to protest against the identification of the colours pink and blue with girls and boys respectively. This is a complete volteface from the generally accepted colour distinction traditionally observed from time immemorial to some time in the last century. Pink was the strong colour for boys, associated linguistically with hunting, and with fighting, and with cutting things, all male activities, while blue was the pretty colour for girls, which is why Alice in Carroll's books wore it. I have a pair of Victorian figures with the milkmaid in blue and the dairy boy in pink. Because of people like you everyone thinks they are wrong. But it is the other way round. You have been brainwashed into accepting the demonic transposition of the proper colour code, and to pick on a company for abandoning this distortion of the true significance of pink and blue, I name you heretic. What colour does Mary wear in your crib?
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Tortuf
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RE: Target

Bullying seems to me to come from a place of "If you are different from me, you are wrong and inferior. Therefore, whatever I do to you is justified." I can't think of any place little kids might learn such except from adults (chronologically speaking anyway.)

What little kids do is a magnifying mirror on our own behaviors. When we see it perhaps we ought to ask ourselves what we are doing to create that behavior instead of condemning the children.

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Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
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Perhaps this will help pour petrol on a hellish spark: Corey on Piper on Women

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Penny S
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Having read through the comments on that Target link, I am of the opinion that some of them apparently opposing the changes are as much sending up the supporters of Graham's position as the fake responder was.
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Pigwidgeon

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quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Dear Franklin Graham, I would like to protest against the identification of the colours pink and blue with girls and boys respectively. This is a complete volteface from the generally accepted colour distinction traditionally observed from time immemorial to some time in the last century. Pink was the strong colour for boys, associated linguistically with hunting, and with fighting, and with cutting things, all male activities, while blue was the pretty colour for girls, which is why Alice in Carroll's books wore it. I have a pair of Victorian figures with the milkmaid in blue and the dairy boy in pink. Because of people like you everyone thinks they are wrong. But it is the other way round. You have been brainwashed into accepting the demonic transposition of the proper colour code, and to pick on a company for abandoning this distortion of the true significance of pink and blue, I name you heretic. What colour does Mary wear in your crib?

And look Who Else wears pink. If pink were not considered strong and masculine, I'm sure Michelangelo would have chosen another color.

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

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Lyda*Rose

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Meh. Michelangelo was gay, so his opinion doesn't count.

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
Perhaps this will help pour petrol on a hellish spark: Corey on Piper on Women

Yeah, it's so hard to know who is more worthy of a hell-call: Franklin Graham or John Piper. Is there html code we can use to color an entire thread bright Barbie-doll pink as we consign the misogynist duo to the nether regions?

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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Pomona
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I wonder what kind of toy XXY or XXYY intersex children are supposed to enjoy.

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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]

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Leorning Cniht
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Sounds like it's time to post this again.
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Penny S
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If God had intended us to be divided simply into two easily distinguished sorts, surely he would have made us clearly only two sorts, with each member of each group identical and interchangeable within that group, every woman identical, every man identical, with exactly the same skill sets. No woman would have the skills to be an engineer, no man those to bake cakes, and no-one would have to get so determined to insist that those transparently absent conditions were what applied.

Surely God wanted every individual to be an individual. Because that's what we've got.

Next week there is the first of a series about the history of women on BBC4. Apparently there are cuneiform texts instructing husbands to break the teeth of disobedient wives, and insisting on veiling.

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
[snip] I name you heretic. What colour does Mary wear in your crib?

Penny, yours was an awesome post! However, about the bit above: I was always told that Mary is depicted in blue because the pigments were exceedingly expensive to produce, and thus traditionally blue wasn't widely used, but naturally you would want to 'splurge' on the Queen of Heaven. Not that it alters your fundamental argument, of course - the tradition of girls in blue may have derived from depictions of Mary, rather than Mary being depicted this way because she's a girl.

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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Twilight

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What gets me most about the "girls' aisle" is that it is all pink. I get nauseated trying to shop there. What does this do to their artistic sensitivity? At least the boys have a nice variety of blue, red, yellow (and of course Army green because it's never too early to start conditioning your little guy to be cannon fodder.) The girls must grow up thinking that anything not pink is off limits whether or not they're interested. Will we have to provide them with pink erector sets?
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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
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quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
Will we have to provide them with pink erector sets?

I think you can already buy those.

Moo

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
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quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
What gets me most about the "girls' aisle" is that it is all pink.

Oh dear God that picture is absurd.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
What gets me most about the "girls' aisle" is that it is all pink.

Oh dear God that picture is absurd.
Yes. I've been there.

Now, can we just shelve all the Franklin Graham books and all the John Piper books, right there on the end of that bright Barbie pink aisle that looks like an explosion at the Pepto Bismo plant? Thank you. [Projectile]

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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Soror Magna
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I'm so fucking sick of PINK everything and I'm also sick and tired of hearing people tell little girls they're pretty. When I hear that shit, I like to add, "But she's really smart" and watch them squirm.

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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
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Maybe Target should start blaring Pink's song "Stupid Girls" in the aisles.

Pink. Now there's a woman who has taken the colour and done things that aren't "pretty".

The music video is worth watching if you haven't seen it.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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mousethief

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# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
[snip] I name you heretic. What colour does Mary wear in your crib?

Penny, yours was an awesome post! However, about the bit above: I was always told that Mary is depicted in blue because the pigments were exceedingly expensive to produce, and thus traditionally blue wasn't widely used, but naturally you would want to 'splurge' on the Queen of Heaven. Not that it alters your fundamental argument, of course - the tradition of girls in blue may have derived from depictions of Mary, rather than Mary being depicted this way because she's a girl.
In Orthodox iconography, Mary is depicted with a red robe over a blue under-robe because red is the color of divinity and blue is the color of humanity. She is human, but she has been deified (cf. theosis). She has put on God (cf. Gal 3:27). Jesus is depicted as blue over red because being God he has "put on" humanity. This according to Orthodox iconography. Dunno about you Westerns.

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Kelly Alves

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Maybe Target should start blaring Pink's song "Stupid Girls" in the aisles.

Pink. Now there's a woman who has taken the colour and done things that aren't "pretty".

The music video is worth watching if you haven't seen it.

Hot. Damn. Now, that's a pink aisle I want to see.

Conversation between me and small boy today:

(Kelly comes over to train area and begins to help put together Brio track while chatting with kids.)
Small boy( looking up mid conversation and staring at me as if I were green): Vete! Esos son para muchachos! ( get outta here, those are for boys!)
Kelly(not moving) : pues, soy muchacha, y voy a jugar con esos trenes. ( well, I'm a girl, and I'm gonna play with these here trains.)

Perhaps related, a little girl came sauntering over to join us a minute later.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
What gets me most about the "girls' aisle" is that it is all pink. I get nauseated trying to shop there. What does this do to their artistic sensitivity? At least the boys have a nice variety of blue, red, yellow (and of course Army green because it's never too early to start conditioning your little guy to be cannon fodder.) The girls must grow up thinking that anything not pink is off limits whether or not they're interested. Will we have to provide them with pink erector sets?

I read about a little girl who was influenced by her peers to wear pink and paint her bedroom pink. Finally it got to be too much for her: she hated pink. She stood in her room and burst into tears. Her parents asked her what had upset her and she admitted the source of her angst. They asked her what color she'd really like her room to be. Yellow, she said. So yellow was what they painted over the dastardly pink.

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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Pink

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lilBuddha
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# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

Conversation between me and small boy today:

(Kelly comes over to train area and begins to help put together Brio track while chatting with kids.)
Small boy( looking up mid conversation and staring at me as if I were green): Vete! Esos son para muchachos! ( get outta here, those are for boys!)
Kelly(not moving) : pues, soy muchacha, y voy a jugar con esos trenes. ( well, I'm a girl, and I'm gonna play with these here trains.)

Perhaps related, a little girl came sauntering over to join us a minute later.

Nicely done!

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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

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Penny S
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# 14768

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My sister, the official holder of the inherited tools of grandfather and father, and amazing user of the same, actually agreed that the selling of pink tools in pink tool boxes could be useful, because her close friend might remember to bring back the ones he had borrowed.
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Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
What gets me most about the "girls' aisle" is that it is all pink.

It made me cry to see this photo.

I can't believe how far we still have to go to get equality for women - or anyone who is not straight up heterosexual male - in this world.

We may pay lip service to equality in the West - but we are far far away from getting anywhere near [Tear] [Tear]

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Garden. Room. Walk

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Zacchaeus
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# 14454

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quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
My sister, the official holder of the inherited tools of grandfather and father, and amazing user of the same, actually agreed that the selling of pink tools in pink tool boxes could be useful, because her close friend might remember to bring back the ones he had borrowed.

[Overused] love it
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Zacchaeus
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# 14454

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When the grandbabies were little we got so fed up of not being able to buy any clothes that were not pink.

I love colours, including pink, but you can get all pinked out.

I wanted to dress them in every colour of the rainbow.

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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FWIW we got fed up with little old ladies (sorry, but it was mostly elderly women) who saw Eldest Son c 12 months in anything other than deepest blue and would say "What a lovely girl". That was it, off came his curls.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
My sister, the official holder of the inherited tools of grandfather and father, and amazing user of the same, actually agreed that the selling of pink tools in pink tool boxes could be useful, because her close friend might remember to bring back the ones he had borrowed.

[Overused] love it
Tangent/

Especially in the Christian context. Why are Christians so good at borrowing and so lousy at returning? Consider.

/Tangent

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
To The Pain
Shipmate
# 12235

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
FWIW we got fed up with little old ladies (sorry, but it was mostly elderly women) who saw Eldest Son c 12 months in anything other than deepest blue and would say "What a lovely girl". That was it, off came his curls.

I was a bald baby. Eventually my parents gave up and dressed me in pink and lace and dresses (I must have also been an unnaturally easy-clean baby). They still got asked what 'his' name was. When I shaved my head in my early twenties I went back to being 'sir'ed all over the place. Now, as a woman close to six feet in height and with a fairly deep speaking voice I sometimes wonder what advantages these somewhat masculine traits have afforded me. And whether I have been disadvantaged by manifesting them while female.

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Now occasionally blogging.
Hire Bell Tents and camping equipment in Scotland

Posts: 1183 | From: The Granite City | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
FWIW we got fed up with little old ladies (sorry, but it was mostly elderly women) who saw Eldest Son c 12 months in anything other than deepest blue and would say "What a lovely girl". That was it, off came his curls.

I would have left the curls.

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Huia
Shipmate
# 3473

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I hated pink as a child, especially that marshmellow shade shown in the toy aisle - I still do. I loved red and yellow. Fortunately for me colour wasn't as gendered then as it is now.

There is a programme called "Country Calendar" about "people and places out of town" that's been on TV here for over 25 years. A recent programme featured a nine(?) year old who had long beautiful blond hair. His mother said strangers often comment on her daughter, who is in fact her son. I really admired that boy. Apart from his farming and fishing skills (which, to this townie seemed formidable) he must have courage and determination to wear his hair like that.

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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quote:
Originally posted by To The Pain:
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
FWIW we got fed up with little old ladies (sorry, but it was mostly elderly women) who saw Eldest Son c 12 months in anything other than deepest blue and would say "What a lovely girl". That was it, off came his curls.

I was a bald baby. Eventually my parents gave up and dressed me in pink and lace and dresses (I must have also been an unnaturally easy-clean baby). They still got asked what 'his' name was. When I shaved my head in my early twenties I went back to being 'sir'ed all over the place. Now, as a woman close to six feet in height and with a fairly deep speaking voice I sometimes wonder what advantages these somewhat masculine traits have afforded me. And whether I have been disadvantaged by manifesting them while female.
When I had proper long hair, rather than moderately long hair, Mrs Snags and I stopped for food at a place largely frequented by Ladies Who Lunch (as far as I could tell).

The waiter (actually the restaurant manager) approached from behind me and trying to smarm smoothly said "And what would you like today, ladies?"

He very nearly soiled himself when I turned round, looked up, and he was faced with a large, bearded, reasonably deep-voiced bloke saying "I think I'll have a kiss please, darling".

Funnily enough he had a minion serve us for the rest of the meal. [Devil]

Happily as a beneficiary of our sexist world this for me is an amusing aside, rather than just another instance of wearying discrimination and assumption.

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Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753

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quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
My sister, the official holder of the inherited tools of grandfather and father, and amazing user of the same, actually agreed that the selling of pink tools in pink tool boxes could be useful, because her close friend might remember to bring back the ones he had borrowed.

A friend of mine who used to work construction took to labeling all of his hand tools with neon pink duct tape for a similar reason - no one else on the job site would walk off with them... [Biased]

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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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Although, in Japan, neon pink tape is used everywhere. There isn't any gender-specific connotation with the colour, it is however very visible. There's a school in the evacuation zone I've been working at, where colleagues laid out regular grids of measurement positions marked with pink tape. So, should have been easy to make sure I have measurements at those points as well to cross compare instruments. Except that other groups using the site also marked their measurement points with pink tape, when the contractors for the Ministry of the Environment came in to cut back undergrowth in the forest they marked the area to clear with pink tape. Little bits of pink tape fluttering around everywhere I looked.

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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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It could be worse. It could be yellow tape thus making the whole place look like a crime scene.

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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Some would say that a school heavily contaminated with radioactive material is a crime scene.

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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740

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I suppose conservatives are saying that biological sex and gender are aligned, whereas liberals are saying that they're not, and in fact, that 'sex' and 'gender' are not unchanging categories in any case.

The conservatives must be getting upset recently by all the news about transgender, intersex, bisexuality, and so on.

It's as if humans were being forced into such categories, but are now spilling out all over the place. It fascinates me, as I used to work in gender studies, well, relativization is moving fast today.

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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.

Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
The waiter (actually the restaurant manager) approached from behind me and trying to smarm smoothly said "And what would you like today, ladies?"

He very nearly soiled himself when I turned round, looked up, and he was faced with a large, bearded, reasonably deep-voiced bloke saying "I think I'll have a kiss please, darling".


Love.This.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153

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My 8 y.o. daughter had a school friend over today so that they could carry out a dissection of a sheep's kidney, and this thread is making me feel a bit smug that her interests extend beyond the stereotypically girlish.

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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"

Richard Dawkins

Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged



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