|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Introverts are bloody selfish!
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
quote:
Soror Magna: If you've already decided you want X and you don't really care about their opinion
Whoa, where did that come from?
Deciding that I want X doesn't mean that I don't care about someone else's opinion.
quote:
Soror Magna: yeah, it is.
Then the problem is that you don't understand what 'misleading' means.
quote:
Soror Magna: People who ask "Do you ..." instead of having the guts to say "I want ... "
Guts have nothing to do with it.
quote:
Soror Magna: really should remember that one possible answer is, "No, I don't."
Yes, of course. Who said that I would have a problem with that answer?
LOL, the irony is thick here. You and others here say that we should express our thoughts more exactly. And now you've read at least three things into the question "Do you think we should buy X?" that aren't actually there.
quote:
Karl: Liberal Backslider: I can see how talking without thinking would be less so
I wasn't describing talking without thinking. I was describing talking without overthinking "what if the other person gets hurt / upset by what I'll say?" so much that it will stifle me.
quote:
Leorning Cniht: I don't speak any foreign languages well enough to think in them, although I'm told that those that do think differently in different languages.
Yeah, a bit.
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
Brava, AmyBo!
And this --
quote:
Originally posted by AmyBo:
Sometimes I'm staring at your lips wondering what it would look like for a slug to come out.
-- I laughed hard enough to startle the cats.
My dog is staring at me right now!
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
I think the roommate who wanted the coffee table didn't misphrase anything, didn't mislead anyone, or any of that stuff. It wasn't miscommunication at all. In fact, it was beautifully clear communication.
The problem was that she didn't like the answer she got, and was childish enough to get pissy about it.
That's not a communication problem. That's an attitude problem.
But "Shall we have a fountain in the garden?" meaning "I don't want a fountain, but I do want to make the garden nicer"--that IS a communication problem.
If your husband shows up with a fountain for your birthday, I hope you thank him nicely and rave over it.
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
Fuck, I agree with Lamb Chopped. (I'm getting a bit fed up with people saying "Lamb Chopped is right again, as usual" on the Ship all the time.)
quote:
Lamb Chopped: If your husband shows up with a fountain for your birthday, I hope you thank him nicely and rave over it.
Or have a fight over it, and then make up in that special way that couples have.
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I think the roommate who wanted the coffee table didn't misphrase anything, didn't mislead anyone, or any of that stuff. It wasn't miscommunication at all. In fact, it was beautifully clear communication.
The problem was that she didn't like the answer she got, and was childish enough to get pissy about it.
Of course if she had already purchased a table, and was trying to be coy about that fact with her question, that's another matter altogether.
quote:
If your husband shows up with a fountain for your birthday, I hope you thank him nicely and rave over it.
If you as a couple are in the habit of planning garden improvements as a team, and he shows up with a fountain without knowing beforehand whether or not you'd like a fountain in the garden, then you need to question your taste in husbands.
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Fuck, I agree with Lamb Chopped. (I'm getting a bit fed up with people saying "Lamb Chopped is right again, as usual" on the Ship all the time.)
Lamb Chopped is fucking WRONG again, as usual.
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I think the roommate who wanted the coffee table didn't misphrase anything, didn't mislead anyone, or any of that stuff. It wasn't miscommunication at all. In fact, it was beautifully clear communication.
The problem was that she didn't like the answer she got, and was childish enough to get pissy about it.
Of course if she had already purchased a table, and was trying to be coy about that fact with her question, that's another matter altogether.
I don't understand. To my mind, that would be even worse, and not another matter altogether.
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
If your husband shows up with a fountain for your birthday, I hope you thank him nicely and rave over it.
If you as a couple are in the habit of planning garden improvements as a team, and he shows up with a fountain without knowing beforehand whether or not you'd like a fountain in the garden, then you need to question your taste in husbands.
Clarifying: that remark was to Boogie, and it meant basically "By your wildly misleading question quoted upthread, you have given him legitimate reason to think you have a secret hankering for fountains, and must abide the consequences, hopefully graciously."
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
quote:
Lamb Chopped: Lamb Chopped is fucking WRONG again, as usual.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
(I'm not really following the garden fountain discussion. That's mostly because I can't think of it without a lot of sexual innuendo.)
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
If your husband shows up with a fountain for your birthday, I hope you thank him nicely and rave over it.
I would
But it won't happen, he doesn't do surprises - he's far too measured for that.
--------------------
Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Lamb Chopped: Lamb Chopped is fucking WRONG again, as usual.
(I'm not really following the garden fountain discussion. That's mostly because I can't think of it without a lot of sexual innuendo.)
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) Drat you. You led me right into that one, didn't you?
[ 25. March 2016, 18:39: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Or have a fight over it, and then make up in that special way that couples have.
By putting the kettle on and making a nice cup of tea.
--------------------
They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nenya:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Or have a fight over it, and then make up in that special way that couples have.
By putting the kettle on and making a nice cup of tea.
So that's what they call it these days
It seems to me that some people on this thread are objecting to the fact that when we're communicating, there's always a subtext below the face-value of our words, and if we'd just make this subtext explicit, communication would be easier. I have to tell you that this subtext will always be there. And most likely, it will be more important than the 'literal' meaning that our words convey. This is what Communication Theory tells us.
"Do you think we should buy X?" almost never means: I'm absolutely neutral about buying X and now I'm conducting a completely independent poll about whether you think we should buy it.
(The Old Man and the Sea contains the sentence "Do you think we should buy a terminal of the lottery with an eighty-five?" Read the book and try to see if the Old Man is absolutely neutral about buying it.)
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Lamb Chopped is fucking WRONG again, as usual.
You know, what you do behind closed doors is not our business. Nobody can tell you you're fucking wrong, as long as it's mutually agreed-upon.
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I think the roommate who wanted the coffee table didn't misphrase anything, didn't mislead anyone, or any of that stuff. It wasn't miscommunication at all. In fact, it was beautifully clear communication.
The problem was that she didn't like the answer she got, and was childish enough to get pissy about it.
Of course if she had already purchased a table, and was trying to be coy about that fact with her question, that's another matter altogether.
I don't understand. To my mind, that would be even worse, and not another matter altogether.
Then it really WOULD be miscommunication and not merely being pissy about the answer she got.
quote:
Clarifying: that remark was to Boogie, and it meant basically "By your wildly misleading question quoted upthread, you have given him legitimate reason to think you have a secret hankering for fountains, and must abide the consequences, hopefully graciously."
I thought I understood what that exchange was about, and now I'm sure I don't.
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
(The Old Man and the Sea contains the sentence "Do you think we should buy a terminal of the lottery with an eighty-five?"
I've been thinking about this for some time now but still don't understand the sentence.
Over here a lottery terminal is the in-store computer that prints your lottery ticket. The terminals aren't for sale.
As for buying it with an eighty-five, an 85-what?
I'm guessing that what he's actually saying is "Should we get a lottery ticket that contains the numbers 85" but if so it's a rather strange way of phrasing it.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
quote:
Ariel: I'm guessing that what he's actually saying is "Should we get a lottery ticket that contains the numbers 85" but if so it's a rather strange way of phrasing it.
I think it meant a lottery ticket that ended on the number 85. (I guess in those days you could get prices based on the end numbers of the ticket, called a 'terminal').
If only those @%&!# extroverts would say exactly what they meant!
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
If only those @%&!# extroverts would say exactly what they meant!
And say it using their "indoors voice"--i.e., at a controlled, moderate volume.
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
If only those @%&!# extroverts would say exactly what they meant!
And say it using their "indoors voice"--i.e., at a controlled, moderate volume.
Is the talking loudly an extrovert thing? I thought it was just Mr Nen.
--------------------
They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
|
Posted
Some extroverts. Makes people fervently wish that the speaker would go far away.
--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
Some extroverts. Makes people fervently wish that the speaker would go far away.
Especially if they're talking on a cellphone in an enclosed space like a bus or subway car.
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
