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» Ship of Fools   »   » Oblivion   » Jobs which are not what they seem. (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Jobs which are not what they seem.
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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The beep monitor who edits TV stars' blue language, to make it suitable for family viewing.

Soldier

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Oops, cross-post. Mine was in reply to celebrant as you probably guessed.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Soldier A Cockney auctioneer

Lay clerk

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Lay clerk - person who arranges the sunbeds before the Germans get their towels down.

Product Information Controller (I nicked this one off the work intranet)

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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The Fat Controller's Boss. Carries out the Very Important Work of persuading young children or, more accurately, their parents, of buying as much Thomas The Tank Engine merchandise as will physically fit into their house, by constant advertising of said products to the mini manipulators.

Phlebotomist

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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A veterinary specialist, who removes parasitic insects from the hind parts of dogs.

Staffing Coordinator

Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Staffing Coordinator: One who controls the frequency at which certain bacterial infections occur.

Dishwasher

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Dishwasher

A technician who ensures your satellite television reception is clear.

Butler

--------------------
"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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Butler

Not a profession as such, but the person in every meeting ever who says "That sounds like a good idea, however...."


Thatcher

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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Thatcher

One who murders union leaders in order to use their hair to thatch rooftops.

Film Director

--------------------
plug plug

Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Film Director

Person overseeing dishwashers at a low-class restaurant, telling them which dishes to not rinse completely.

Mediator

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Mediator

One who serves as a guide at a television studio.

Veterinarian

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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A heretic of long standing.

Milkman

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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Sperm Donor.

Piper (got missed out on last page)

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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Tony Benn impersonator

Apple picker

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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Apple picker Someone who will only choose a certain brand of pc.

Nursemaid

[ 13. February 2016, 15:27: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Nursemaid - an electronic device (popular in the 70sand 80s) that dispersed chicken soup and paracetamol whenever you were ill.

Barista

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Barista: An attorney who litigates matters concerning coffee.

Meat Inspector

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179

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Meat Inspector

Someone who ensures that male porn star wannabes have the necessary equipment

Chandler

--------------------
Maius intra qua extra

Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box

Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649

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Chandler Someone who takes care of the third letter of the alphabet.

Mathematician

[ 14. February 2016, 15:37: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]

--------------------
Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10

Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Mathematician

Somebody who thinks up themes for mothers.

Pharmacist

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Those who farm the upper reaches of Dartmoor where sensitive archaelogical remains mustn't be disturbed.

Verger

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Verger: An expert on Latin poetry.

Janitor

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Janitor - travel agent specializing in mid-winter holidays in Glastonbury

general contractor

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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general contractor - someone who gets ill for a living

Journals editor

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Doone
Shipmate
# 18470

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Journals editor [/QB][/QUOTE] blackmailer of secrets

Undertaker

Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015  |  IP: Logged
Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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The person whose duty it is to begin the task.

Supernumerary

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Maths Professor

Bellboy

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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The chap who winds Big Ben.

Compositor.

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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The role usually played by Norman Clegg in Last of the Summer Wine.

Director of First Impressions

Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Person in charge of initial tombstone rubbings.

Usability Tester

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Usability Tester: A person whom employment agencies send to prospective employers to see if they are doing any hiring at the moment.

Paralegal

[ 17. February 2016, 13:51: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Have you had an accident while parachuting?
Might you be entitled to compensation?

Contact the paralegal team.

Technical support technician

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Person who puts a screw in someone's walking aid to stop it from collapsing.

Percussionist.

[ 17. February 2016, 16:53: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Doone
Shipmate
# 18470

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Percussionist

Someone who swears very very loudly.

homeopathist

Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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An itinerant who calls door-to-door offering to lay new tarmac on your path.

Astrologer

Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Astrologer

Someone who cuts down trees and carries them home in his Chevy van.

Trombone player

--------------------
"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Trombone player - someone who never quite understood how to use a slide rule properly, but found it fun anyway.

Theologian

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Someone who designs and prints company logos on T-shirts and the like.

Permanent Way Inspector.

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Someone who designs and prints company logos on T-shirts and the like.

Permanent Way Inspector.

One of a trio along with the Permanent Truth Inspector and the Permanent Light Inspector. With employment reform that "Permanent" tag may not be for long.

Loss adjuster

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Loss adjuster

Someone who works at a diet clinic (and fudges the books)

Librarian

--------------------
"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Librarian - dastardly political revolutionary who thinks that useful information should be well ordered (antonym: civil servant)

Corporate Responsibility Manager

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Leader of the Home Guard


Radiographer

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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Someone who makes graphs to show sales of transistor radios

Stonemason

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Stonemason

Someone who makes sculptures of Mick Jagger.

Disc jockey

--------------------
"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pasco
Shipmate
# 388

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Disc Jockey: A pizza deliveryman on horseback.

Politician

Posts: 997 | From: Domiciling 'ere, living locally. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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Politician Expert on good manners

Agony Aunt

--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275

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Agony Aunt - a torturer who likes to keep it in the family.

Accountant

--------------------
If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?

Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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An ant in the peerage.

Tatter

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Tatter: The sacristan of an Anglo-Catholic church.

Prothonotary

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged



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