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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Disappointment in ministry
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Ramarius
Shipmate
# 16551
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Posted
Whether we have been involved in may ministries or been employed by churches I would wager we have all had disappointments in ministry. These can be many and various - we are let down by people we thought would contribute to the ministry in time and energy, or by people who didn't offer the support we were expecting. We expected results that never materialised. We discovered a disconnect between the espoused values of the people we worked with and the values that were demonstrated in practice.
What's helpful to people in handling disappointments in ministry? What's the value in going back to first principles and re-building ministry from the foundations upwards. To what extent have people discovered that the problems they faced were largely self-induced and could be remedied accordingly.
What's helped you, or others you have helped?
And if you wouldn't identify yourself in having "been in ministry" but have overcome disappointments in other areas of life, what would you add into the mix of this thread?
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Posts: 950 | From: Virtually anywhere | Registered: Jul 2011
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I would certainly add that we bring ourselves, our qualities and our personal difficulties to each area of our lives. Which may help to explain why a new situation can sometimes turn into a rerun of the old ones.
But there can also be surprising twists which give us not what we thought we wanted, but something equally good, if not better. It happened to me when one kind of volunteer work didn't pan out, while another allowed me to use other gifts which really are appreciated. Going with what worked was much the most satisfying course.
[ 22. August 2016, 09:05: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
For me the most important thing was trying to keep my focus on the Lord of the ministry, not the ministry itself. So much of our identity has been built on various ministries instead of directly on the One we do this stuff for. When the ministries go down the tubes, so does the identity. When we can avoid that, it's a lot easier to deal with disappointments in ministry without panicking or taking them personally.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
For me the most important thing was trying to keep my focus on the Lord of the ministry, not the ministry itself. So much of our identity has been built on various ministries instead of directly on the One we do this stuff for. When the ministries go down the tubes, so does the identity. When we can avoid that, it's a lot easier to deal with disappointments in ministry without panicking or taking them personally.
Yes, this. Of course, as always, easier said than done.
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I nodded knowingly at the disappointments in the link.
What I hold on to is the affirmation of calling which comes every so often, and so I won't give up. Knowledge of myself and my own insecurities and predictable reactions helps so that I can watch for trigger points. I am also ever ready to learn. And what Lamb Chopped said.
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
One cause of the problem is when our expectations clash with those of someone else. A young enthusiast may think anyone who takes time away from "ministry" to enjoy a family night "not really committed to Christ and the church." A church member may mistakenly think clergy should be on call 24/7 to deal with anything, including late evening complaints about hymn selections. I met a mainline clergy person who believed all retirees should be working on church projects 40 hours a week and not be in any non-church interest groups.
Conflicting concepts of how someone else "should" relate to the church or the ministry or God causes mutual disillusionment.
Not the only cause I'm sure.
[ 23. August 2016, 17:35: Message edited by: Belle Ringer ]
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
Personally I think low expectation of human nature and our broken world is a good place to start.
Ben Meyer's puts it beautifully on his blog.
quote:
Theologically I am committed to a pretty deep pessimism about human nature. Original sin and all that. The belief that history is not headed anywhere and does not mean anything; that things do not generally improve; that the real problems of life are intractable and almost completely resistant to our flimsy toys of reason, education, therapy, and whatnot; that the only thing really worth hoping for is the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.
Yet he balances out that pessimism with outrageous optimism which all in all makes him a fairly agreeable person. I think this is good place to start.
You're not often disappointed if your expectations are low. Yet this does not prevent you from enjoying the good things that do flow.
I find the second thing that is helpful is that it's not all up to us. God is involved and responsible too. We do what we can in good will and leave the rest to God. There is no need for despair for God is ultimately in charge.
I find Archbishop Oscar Romero's prayer helpful for this idea:
quote:
Archbishop Oscar Romero Prayer: A Step Along The Way
It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent
enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of
saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an
opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master
builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
I also think trying too hard to do it all ourselves is asking for burn out, and as Rowan Williams thinks, that's really helping no one.
I find thinking of ministry as a gift and a privilege in doing the Lord's work and working with people (regardless of outcomes) is also very helpful in avoiding disappointment because it's the moment that matters. You're working for something good. That's meaningful. That's important. Be grateful. Leave the rest to God to worry about. Live the new humanity.
[ 28. August 2016, 11:07: Message edited by: Evensong ]
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Freddy
Shipmate
# 365
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Ben Meyer's puts it beautifully on his blog.
quote:
Theologically I am committed to a pretty deep pessimism about human nature. Original sin and all that. The belief that history is not headed anywhere and does not mean anything; that things do not generally improve; that the real problems of life are intractable and almost completely resistant to our flimsy toys of reason, education, therapy, and whatnot; that the only thing really worth hoping for is the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.
Yet he balances out that pessimism with outrageous optimism which all in all makes him a fairly agreeable person. I think this is good place to start.
Glad you put in this last part because otherwise Meyer's view is pretty bleak.
I can easily identify with his statement that "the real problems of life are intractable and almost completely resistant to our flimsy toys of reason, etc." But I think that the intractability is more about the length of time required rather than the impossibility of progress.
The thing that has always helped me deal with disappointments in ministry is reflection on the long view and trying to understand long term processes. I am absolutely committed to the idea that the Lord is leading humanity in a good direction, and that He knows what He is doing. It is only in the short run that humanity's issues seem insoluble.
I don't subscribe to the idea of the resurrection of the dead at the Last Judgment. I think that everyone is resurrected in the afterlife, and that the "end times" prophecies refer merely to dramatic long term improvements in the world's future.
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"Consequently nothing is of greater importance to a person than knowing what the truth is." Swedenborg
Posts: 12845 | From: Bryn Athyn | Registered: Jun 2001
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